A Preacher's Passion (25 page)

Four hours later, Lavon walked into an out-of-the-way bistro in Marina Del Rey to meet Carla. Even in such dire circumstances, his heart warmed at the sight of her.

“It’s good to see you,” he said as he hugged her, taking in her worried expression.

“You too,” she whispered.

They sat down and ordered tea and soda, both too nervous to eat. Lavon calmly unfolded the magazine and placed it on the table in front of Carla. Carla picked it up, looked at the picture on the cover, turned to the page Lavon had earmarked, and read in silence.

“My life as I know it is about to be over,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Don’t say that, Carla—”

“Look, I’m just being real. I know Stanley; he’s a strong, proud man. There’s no way he’s going to want to preserve our marriage once he finds out about the affair. Especially like this. It’s not just the personal anguish but the public humiliation. His status will be jeopardized, his ministry tarnished. Stanley is all about appearances. This is going to devastate him. And it’s all my fault.

“That’s what’s so wrong about all this. I made this bed, and I’ll lie in it. But it’s not fair that my family is going to have to lie in it too. Winston is probably young enough to not be too affected, but Shay and especially Brianna—Oh God, it’s going to hurt them so much. And I don’t know how I can protect them, Lavon…. I don’t!”

Lavon didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to protect them either, and he told Carla as much. “We’ll get through this together, Carla. If you want, I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”

He went on to tell her about his confrontation with Ana Cummings-Black and the emergency board member meeting at the network he’d attended immediately afterward.

“I told them I’d resign if they wanted,” Lavon said. “I don’t want my actions to tarnish the network’s credibility.”

“What’d they say?”

“They are going to take a wait-and-see approach. They love my work, know I’m well connected in the industry. And while I’m over inspirational programming, this is a secular network, and fortunately or unfortunately, scandal and drama happen all the time in this business. Honestly, it doesn’t matter if they keep me or not,” Lavon continued. “The only reason I took this job was to be close to you. If that can’t happen, well, maybe it’s time for me to relocate.”

Lavon had recently turned down an offer from a station in North Carolina. With his reputation, he could work almost anywhere.

“I don’t want you to leave, Lavon, not now,” Carla responded quietly. “I need you….”

They sat silently for a moment, trying to regain their footing in a world turned upside down.

“I’ll have to give up my ministry,” Carla said.

“Why?” Lavon asked.

“How would it look for an adulterous woman trying to tell other women how to live holy?”

“It would look like every saint: a sinner who falls down but gets back up. Men of God fall all the time, some in public, most in private. Our love doesn’t take away from your anointing, Carla. Women love you.”

“They do now, but wait until next week. People can turn so quickly.” Carla stopped and looked out the window. It struck her as odd, how outside everything appeared normal—cars driving by, people talking, sun shining—when inside her world things looked insane. She leaned back and fumbled with the spoon on the table. “Have you talked to Passion? You know she’s the one who did this.”

“Of course I know, and no, I haven’t. It’s best I don’t. I’m not the type who’d do well in prison.”

Carla smiled sadly. “I can’t even be mad at her. She couldn’t have taken the pictures if we hadn’t been posing.”

“We weren’t posing.”

“You know what I’m saying. And it’s not like she didn’t warn me….”

“Warn you? Passion warned you about what? Was our relationship the reason she requested that meeting with you?”

Carla sighed and looked out the window. “You know it would be breaking a ministerial confidence to answer that question directly. It’s why I never told you what we talked about. But you probably wouldn’t be too far off if you drew your own conclusions. I can’t blame her for wanting you….”

Lavon leaned back in his chair, his countenance stormy. “I told her I didn’t want her, told her I wasn’t interested. I never should have given her the time of day.”

“But you did. In fact you gave her more than time.”

“Yes, I did, and look what it’s getting ready to cost me.”

Carla chose not to comment. Twenty-twenty hindsight was not productive. She had her hands full dealing with now. “So…what are we going to do?”

Lavon took Carla’s hand and rubbed it softly. “I’m going to be here for you,” he said. “My sole mission, purpose, and goal in life will be to do whatever it takes to help you through this situation, and beyond it.

“My situation is different. Job-wise I’m cool whether MLM fires me or not. As for the affair, the truth is, baby, you’ll be the one who gets crucified. You’re the minister, married, a mother. It seems like women are doubly hard on each other. They’ll just say I’m a man and all men are dogs. That’s why my concern is not for myself…but you.”

Carla picked the magazine off the table, folded it, and put it in her purse. “Waiting isn’t going to make it any easier,” she said, getting up from the table. “It’s time for me to go home, Lavon. It’s time to tell Stan.”

Telling Dr. Stanley Lee that his wife was an adulterer had just the effect Carla thought it would.

There was no yelling, no screaming. In fact, there was only one question: “Is it true?”

From that moment, it had taken Stanley exactly ten minutes to gather his toiletries and pack a suitcase. Carla tried to reason but Stanley made it clear: he didn’t want a discussion, explanation, or debate. Instead, his position was summed up succinctly just before he walked out of the Lee household and effectively out of Carla’s life: “I want a divorce.”

“What’s wrong, Mommy?” Onyx asked. Her normally talkative mother was being awfully quiet.

“Nothing, baby,” Passion replied.

“Then why are you sitting in the dark?” She climbed on the couch next to her mother. “Hey, I know. Wanna play Uno?”

“No, sweetie.”

“War?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Sorry?”

Passion hugged her daughter to her. “Mommy doesn’t feel like playing a game, baby.”
Mommy’s too busy dealing with life, and it is not a game.

“Why are you sad, Mommy?”

“I’m not sad.”

“You look sad. C’mon, Mommy, let’s put on a happy face!” Onyx placed tiny fingers on the sides of her eyes, pulled them back and made a face.

Passion smiled at her little angel. Whenever Passion was down about something, Onyx’s cheery personality could usually bring her up. Tonight was not one of those times. “Come on, Onyx…bedtime.”

Passion put her daughter to bed and even though it was only eight-thirty, slipped into her nightgown also. The day had lasted forever and she was burdened by the weight of it.

It had begun that morning, just after she’d gotten to work. She’d barely sat down at her desk when the phone rang.

“Good morning, Passion Perkins.”

“Okay, girl, are you sitting down?” It was a casual acquaintance from Logos Word who’d gotten her number at an SOS convention.

“Yes,” Passion answered.

“Pastor Carla is having an affair!”

So there it is, the news is out.
“What?” Passion said, feigning surprise. But of course she wasn’t. The writer of the story had called Passion almost a month ago and told her the story would break in the May issue. They’d mailed a copy directly to her house.

“Yes, and guess who with?” The caller didn’t wait for an answer. “The man who worked with her and Dr. Lee on the Kingdom Keys series…Lavon Chapman! Looks like he was shooting and screwing at the same time!” She howled at her own joke. Passion saw nothing funny.

“You can’t always believe everything you read,” Passion warned.

“Oh, so you know about this already. You’ve seen the magazine?”

“Uh, I haven’t seen the article but I heard about it.”

“I know one thing. I’m going to be at church bright and early, front row center on Sunday morning. I can’t wait to hear what Dr. Lee has to say about it. Uh-uh-uh, Pastor Carla creepin’…. She always looked the type.”

“I’ve got to go,” Passion said.

Fortunately, only one other of Passion’s coworkers was familiar with the Logos Word ministry. So after the obligatory discussion with him, and because Passion didn’t socialize much with members outside of church services, she was spared from talking about it for the rest of the day.

Passion’s telephone rang.
Until now,
she thought sarcastically. She relaxed when she saw it was her mother.

“Hey, Mom.”

“I just heard some awful news about your pastor!”

“You’ve heard already?” Passion was floored that her Pentecostal mother, who barely watched TV, let alone gossiped, had heard the news.

“Why, it’s not true, is it?” her mother asked, aghast. “I know that woman of God, wife, and mother did
not
cheat on her husband.”

“I don’t know, Mom,” Passion lied.
Lord, what have I gotten myself into? What have I done?

“Well, if it is, it’s a shame before God. That’s what happens to those big-time TV preachers with all that money and fame. They start acting just like the world. No true child of God would act like that. You need to get out of that big church, Passion. Come on over here where we might be few, but we’re serious about serving the Lord!”

Passion took a long, deep breath. “How are you doing, Mom?” She tried to change the subject.

“I’ll be doing a lot better knowing my grandchild isn’t over to some hell-filled church, getting influenced by a Jezebel touting herself as some big preacher.”

“The Bible says not to judge, Mom.”

“The Bible says not to cheat on your husband, that’s what the Bible says.”

“Mom, I was in the middle of something when you called. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay, Passion. And I’ll be praying for y’all over there in that den of sin. You need to come out from among them, Passion.”

“Bye, Mom.”

Passion hung up the phone, lay back on the bed, and thought about how quickly life could change. Just when she’d felt her life was getting back on track, post Lavon, two bomb-shells had hit in as many weeks. She hadn’t yet digested the news of Robin’s death, hadn’t come to grips with the fact her former friend was gone.

When Passion first heard the news, she played and replayed in her head the conversation from Robin’s lone visit to her house—about Robin being in love with a married man. Passion couldn’t fathom that man being Derrick Montgomery, even as she knew he was the main character in many female fantasies. But why else would Robin go to KCCC to commit suicide? Was it to make the Montgomerys feel guilty, or to try and bring scandal to their church? There were so many questions, the answers to which Passion felt she’d never know. A part of her felt guilty, that if she’d been paying more attention to Robin instead of Lavon, her friend might still be alive.

And now this, another scandal, one of her making. She’d gotten what she wanted: for Carla’s duplicitous lifestyle to be exposed.

So why didn’t it feel good, why was there sadness instead of joy? “I shouldn’t have done it,” she said to the four walls.

When she’d walked into the
LA Gospel
offices just after the first of the year, she’d never been angrier. Lavon had flaunted his love for another woman—a married woman at that—while throwing Passion’s amorous offerings back in her face. She’d gladly poured the story out for the all-too-eager writer, who absorbed every word like a sponge did water.

What she’d done felt good for about a week; then she started having misgivings. She’d called the magazine and told them she wanted to retract her story. But it was too late. Along with the pictures, she’d provided dates, times, locations, and other corroborating information. As if that wasn’t enough, she signed an affidavit that what she said was true.

When February and then March went by, Passion breathed easier. She felt her prayers had been answered, and that somehow God had intervened in their printing the story. She even started thinking about Lavon again, about giving their friendship another try. Just when she’d worked up the nerve to call him, she got a call instead. The one from the writer telling her the story would be featured in the May issue.

“Lord, what have I done?” At the very least what she’d contributed to was damaging a family, tarnishing a ministry, and alienating, possibly forever, the man who’d made her happy for the first time in five years.

And what about Dr. Lee?
she thought. While she’d always believed exposing Carla was for Dr. Lee’s own good, she’d never given much thought to the aftermath of her revelation. Now she did.
I wonder if he’s okay.

“There’s only one way to find out.” Passion dialed the church number, keyed in the extension for Dr. Lee’s office, and left a message she felt would garner a call back.

She was right. Her cell phone rang before eight
A.M
. the next morning. It was Dr. Lee’s assistant. “Passion Perkins?” he asked.

“Yes?”

“Dr. Lee would like to meet with you at ten o’clock. He says it’s urgent.”

When Carla showed up to the Logos Word offices shortly before ten
A.M
., she was ushered directly into Dr. Lee’s offices.

He joined her shortly thereafter and following perfunctory pleasantries, got straight to the point. “You say you have information on my wife’s affair?”

“I’m so sorry for what’s happened, Dr. Lee.”

“So am I. My marriage vows are irretrievably broken. Ms. Perkins, I’m divorcing my wife. She’s the mother of my children, so I won’t try to ruin her. Then again, she’s done a pretty good job of that already. I just want to be able to get this over and move on as quickly as possible. The information you have might make my negotiations easier.” He fixed a penetrating stare on Passion before asking, “Will you help me?”

Passion was moved by the intense mixture of hurt, anger, pain, and determination she saw on Dr. Lee’s face. In that moment she decided how she could feel better. Since she’d been the one to cause his hurt, she could definitely be the one to help fix it.

“Yes, Pastor,” she answered in a clear, assured voice. “I will help you.”