A Princess Prays (12 page)

*

It was after midnight before Gesa would let Attila go back to the carriage.

When they reached it there was no sign of the two men in charge, but she knew they would be asleep under the carriage.

The horses were nearby quite content and comfortable in the warm night air and long grass.

Gesa took Attila over to the carriage and opened the door for her.

“It is an agony to leave you, my darling,” he said, “but when we are married, you will sleep in my arms and we will be together by day and by night.”

“
When we – are married
?” Attila stammered.

“Can we do anything else? You are mine and I am yours. How could we ever contemplate being married to anyone else?”

He did not wait for an answer, but kissed her again.

He kissed her until it was impossible for Attila to think and she could only quiver with the excitement and wonder of his lips.

He kissed her eyes and her forehead and then he forced himself to leave her.

He walked round the carriage to climb in on his own side.

Attila undressed.

Her whole being was singing with the wonder of love. It was quite impossible to think or speculate about tomorrow.

After sleeping for a while she awoke.

She was acutely aware that Gesa was near her, but they were firmly divided by a strong wooden board and she wondered if he too was awake and thinking about her.

Then the full wonder of what she had felt when he kissed her swept over her again.

‘
I love him
, I adore him,' she whispered to herself.

Because she could not prevent it a question forced itself through her happiness.

Would she be allowed to marry him?

She had no knowledge of who he was.

He had not even told her his other name.

She could imagine what her stepmother would say about him.

More importantly Attila knew that her father would question the possibility of her marrying a commoner.

If she was married to anyone who was not Royal, it might be impossible for her to become Queen of Valdina on her father's death.

Any consort to share her life would have to be accepted by the people.

She knew without being told he would have to be of some considerable influence himself.

Anyone they thought was an ordinary man, not from an aristocratic family, would be sent away without her even being consulted about him.

All through history the dynasty of Valdina had been of great significance and its Ruler held his or her place amongst Royalty in other parts of the world.

It had not been easy as Valdina was a small country compared with Hungary or any of their other neighbours.

Yet because of their Royal heritage there had never been any question of not being acknowledged by the other Kings and Princes of the region.

Royalty was forgiven anything.

Prince Otto was a man of disrepute who dear Father Jozsef and everyone else had spoken of disparagingly and yet he was Royal and the Ruler of quite a large Principality, so that meant that he would be accepted in any Court, regardless of his sins.

In her anxiety to be rid of her troublesome stepdaughter, Attila knew that her stepmother had chosen cleverly.

However much the King's advisers disliked Prince Otto, they would find it hard to refute him as an eligible match for a Princess altogether.

Attila shivered.

Supposing they contemplated accepting Prince Otto on her behalf, how could she possibly propose Gesa taking his place?

Perhaps Gesa had nothing more to commend him than his looks, his brain and his superb horse?

‘He must have some other advantages,' she thought desperately.

But no matter which way she looked at it she knew in her heart of hearts that it all boiled down to the fact that if his blood was not Royal, he would not be accepted by Valdina.

It was with difficulty that she did not get out of bed, go round the carriage and beg him to reassure her.

If the truth was even worse than she feared, it was too agonising to face.

‘How can I live without him now that I have found him? How could anyone else make me feel as I feel now?'

She knew without being told it was impossible.

She had prayed at the Shrine of Love and now she had found the love that Father Jozsef had told her would one day be hers.

Yet having found it, it seemed that she would have to lose it.

She thought that rather than let that happen she would run away with Gesa.

The question was – would he take her?

He might harbour no wish to take her for his wife when he found out the truth. After all, she would become a Princess who was no longer Royal and who was despised by her countrymen because she put her own desires before duty.

Therefore she would have no place in her own country.

Would he think it did not matter?

Would he mind?

Would he believe that love was more important than anything else?

Would he perhaps take her away to some obscure island where no one would ever find them again?

Attila knew that this was just impossible, just a load of hopeless daydreams.

No young man could be expected to sacrifice his whole life for a woman and give up everything he loved.

His hunting, his shooting, his riding!

To turn his back on the comradeship of his friends
–
it was just an unthinkable sacrifice.

However much he loved a woman, Attila was wise enough to know a man needed the company of his own sex.

‘If I took him away from all of that, he would soon begin to hate me,' she told herself. ‘Then we would have nothing between us, not even our hearts.'

She wanted to cry out at the agony in her heart.

Yet she kept thinking that tomorrow, if only for a little while, she would still be with him.

Perhaps he would kiss her again, as he had kissed her tonight, and she would feel the glory of his love seeping through her body.

Once again he would be carrying her up to the stars.

‘I love him, I adore him,' she said to herself over and over again.

Yet there was a little devil sitting on her shoulder, whispering into her ear that it was all a dream and when she awoke, she would come back to reality.

Then there would be nothing but the ashes of a fire that had burned out.

Attila covered her eyes with her hands, knowing that now she was past praying.

Past asking God to let her live with the illusion that everything could be perfect and she could marry Gesa.

In fact they would have perhaps three or four hours together and then that would be the end.

He would be sent away and she would watch him go, knowing he had taken her heart with him.

Once again the thought flashed through her mind that the only thing she could do was to tell him the truth.

She would suggest they might elope, even though she knew her father would be furious.

He might even have Gesa arrested and the marriage annulled.

She would then be forced back to the Palace and instead of it being the home she loved, it would be a prison from which she could not escape.

“Duty! Duty! Duty!”

She could hear the Ministers saying it to her over and over again.

“It is your
duty
to Valdina.”

“It is your
duty
to your people.”

“It is your
duty
to your family.”

“It is your
duty
to your Royal blood.”

There was no way out.

There was no escape.

She could see it like a map laid out in front of her and for the rest of her life once Gesa had left her, she could only dream of him.

Having lost him, she would have lost everything that ever mattered in life itself.

“I love him!
I love him
!” she cried in her heart.

The tears ran down her cheeks.

CHAPTER SIX

The morning that Attila had left the Palace the King deliberately did not ring the bell for his valet until eleven o'clock.

When Frederik came to call him, he pulled back the curtains and the King said,

“Frederik, I need your help.”

He knew that the man who had been with him for many years was always delighted if he was taken into his confidence.

“You know I will do anything Your Majesty requires,” replied Frederik as he stood by the bed.

“My daughter, Her Royal Highness, was talking to me last night and she said it was a mistake for me to take this medicine, which is doing me no good, and the sleeping draught which always leaves me muzzy in the morning. I have now decided to stop them.”

“That is good news, Your Majesty. I never thought them doctors were any good, but it weren't my business to say so.”

“I am your business, Frederik. Now what I want you to do is to throw away what they have given me, but without them, or Her Majesty, being aware of it.”

He saw a faint smile on his valet's lips and he knew he disliked the Queen, but Frederik had, of course, been too well-trained to say so.

He could sense Frederik stiffening as Queen Margit came into the room.

“I will pretend I am taking it,” the King carried on in a low voice, “but I am hoping with the water from Salem, I shall soon be feeling so much better.”

“The water has just arrived, Your Majesty, so would Your Majesty like the bath hot or cold?”

The King thought for a moment.

“I think cold, Frederik, to wake me up. Has the food arrived too?”

“The chef has asked me to tell Your Majesty that the eggs for breakfast are from Salem and he be preparing the other food for luncheon.”

The King smiled as that at any rate had passed by without any trouble and he was certain that what Father Jozsef had told him would come true.

He had a cold bath, reciting as he did so what Attila had told him to say to himself.

‘I am getting well! I am getting well!'

It was after midday when the Queen visited him.

“I am rather worried, Sigismund,” she said, as she came to his bedside. “There is no sign of Attila anywhere and I cannot think where she can be.”

“She is quite all right,” the King replied. “I thought I told you she was going to stay with friends.”

“You have told me nothing of the sort,” she retorted sharply. “What friends and why?”

“She said they had asked her to go for a few days and I thought it would be good for her to get away. After all now I am in bed she misses our rides together.”

“If you ask me,” the Queen said angrily, “Attila has deliberately gone away so as to avoid the party I am giving for Prince Otto.”

“I think that party will be a mistake. I have heard some unpleasant stories about the Prince and he is not someone I particularly welcome to the Palace.”

The Queen made a sound which he knew was one of indignation and then with an effort she controlled herself saying,

“It is very unlike you, dearest, to be so prejudiced. I found Prince Otto a charming young man and I am sure when she meets him, Attila will like him very much.”

“Well, she is not here at present, so that question will not arise.”

“Wherever she is,” the Queen said quickly, “I must insist on her returning immediately. I have gone to a great deal of trouble over this party and it is absolutely absurd for her to miss it.”

The King always recognised that when his wife's voice rose, it meant that she was losing her temper and the ensuing argument between them, apart from anything else, would be undignified.

He closed his eyes and said in a weak voice,

“I am too tired to think about it now. I must go to sleep.”

He was aware without being able to see her that the Queen hesitated.

She wanted to force him to make a decision and yet as he lay with his eyes closed without speaking, she knew it would be wrong to arouse him.

After a moment she stalked out of the room and with some difficulty closed the door quietly behind her.

The King opened his eyes, appreciating that by this time Attila would be a long way from the Palace. Even if the Queen was so unwise as to send some of the guards to look for her, they would not find her.

The King thought it was very kind of Father Jozsef and Attila to make such a long journey on his behalf.

He had heard of the miracles created by St. Janos and he desperately wanted their prayers to be answered so that he could be himself again.

It seemed impossible that the water and the food from Salem could do much for him, and yet Father Jozsef would not tell him a lie, not even to make him happy.

He had assured him that the people of Salem were in much better health than anyone else, so there must be something in their water and land which did not exist in Valdina.

The King thought later that night and again the next day that he really did feel a little better.

Yet he was sensible enough to think it was too soon to be optimistic.

*

On the third day after Attila's departure he was able to say to Frederik,

“The pain in my chest is much less. I am finding it easier to breath and I am feeling much more energetic.”

“If you ask me, Your Majesty, you are on the right road to recovery and Her Royal Highness will be jumping for joy when she gets back.”

The King knew that this was true and a day later he could say quite honestly he felt very much better.

He talked to Frederik about getting up.

“The doctors are asking if they can come and see Your Majesty,” Frederik told him.

“Oh no!” he exclaimed. “I don't want them.”

“That is what I think and I told them Your Majesty was taking things easy, but was feeling a bit better. It'd be a mistake to disturb you.”

“You are quite right, Frederik, the last thing I want is to have them croaking over me and making examinations for which there is no answer!”

He bathed in the water from Salem twice a day and drank a great deal of it.