A Proper Family Christmas (19 page)

“Oh, I don't know about that.” Leo made a brief concession to modesty. “But the fact is, most people have simply no idea how to treat them. They make the mistake of talking down to them, and one thing young people hate is being patronised.”

“Good heavens! Do they really?” said Daniel.

William was listening with only half an ear, but then Kath said something that caught his attention.“I dare say little Posy and Tobias get a bit bored in the holidays too, - specially being down here, with none of their friends around. …Shame, isn't it, Mr. Watlington, to think of my boys on their own in the cottage, and those poor kids with no one to play with up here?”

It was the sort of hint-dropping that William would usually have refused to pick up on principle. He knew Kath was an inveterate snob, who would love an opportunity for her boys to mix with the children at the ‘big house', and he also knew just what their parents' reaction would be to such a suggestion. He put his paper down and looked at her thoughtfully

“Yes, - what a good idea!”

“What?” Kath stared at him.

A slow smile spread over William's face. “Why don't you invite your boys to come and have a game with Julia and Stephen's children? I'm sure their parents would be delighted!”

Daniel raised an appreciative eyebrow. “Grime and Brine? Come to play with Posy and Tobias? - Oh, excellent! …And I'll tell you what, Leo, everyone else is going out, so they'll want someone to supervise them, and since you're so good with children….”

He didn't need to say more. “Oh yes,
you'll
help to look after them, won't you, Mr. Watlington? I know they couldn't be in better hands!”

It was rather chilly in the garden. They had been sent out here on the pretext that ‘it would be nice for the children to get some fresh air', - really, Frances suspected, so that the adults could continue arguing without the inhibiting presence of them or their nannies. Tobias had been fastened into his winter coat, and after rejecting all her suggestions for imaginative or warming games, was hurtling round the rose-beds in a rather manic way, chased by a hysterical Posy. Shelley, having egged her into this state with a “Go on,
get
the little sod! You're letting him escape!”, had suddenly vanished, no doubt to indulge in a fag behind one of the bushes.

This must once have been a lovely garden, when someone who cared was alive to look after it, - Stephen and Julia's mother perhaps. The roses were straggly and unpruned now, and their soil beginning to spread over what should have been neat paths between the beds. One branch of the climber on the old brick wall at the end had become detached and was shooting along with a life of its own. She would like to paint mixture of reds and pinks and browns in that wall, - a summer view, with the roses out against it.

She wondered who was winning the Battle for William. It hadn't seemed to occur to his family to ask him what
he
wanted to do, any more than they'd consulted her own wishes about going to Cirencester. …God, how stupid she'd been to shoot herself in the foot like that! Now she'd be staying behind, quite possibly all on her own, - or else stuck with the dreadful Leo, who seemed to make a habit of being forgotten by everyone else. …She wasn't sure which would be worse.

“Hi!” She jumped to feel a hand on her shoulder. “I saw you through the window. Thought I'd better come out and warn you that you might be about to be collared by Leo again.”

It was Daniel, apparently reading her mind.

“Oh no! Why?”

For the bearer of bad news, he looked curiously cheerful. “I think he might want to ask for your professional advice.”

Frances blinked at him, unable to imagine what Leo could possibly wish to consult her on, or why Daniel should find it so amusing if he did.

“Uncle William has invited Kath Arncott to bring her boys over to play with Posy and Tobias this morning,” he explained, “and Leo, who's apparently the world's greatest expert on child-care, has volunteered to supervise them all!”

“
What
?”

“I know! Isn't it fabulous? …I have to admit that the volunteering wasn't entirely his own idea, but he absolutely walked into it. - You should have heard him boasting how wonderful he is with children! …And Grime and Brine, Kath's kids, are
horrendous
. They were completely out of control when I last saw them, a couple of years ago, and they're that much older now. Stephen and Ratso will go up the
wall
at the thought of them mixing with dear little Tobias. I don't think Julia will be all that pleased either.”

“But…” He was looking at her, clearly expecting her to appreciate a joke which Frances just couldn't find funny. Was the idea that she and Leo be left to deal with this horrific scenario while the others went to Cirencester?

Before she could think of a way to explain her concern, Shelley re-emerged from behind the laurel bush, - and spotted Daniel.

“Looking for me? Just having a quick one. Old fussy-pants here turns her nose up if I smoke in the bedroom! Getting more like her boss every day, if you ask me. - Don't they say that about dogs?” Frances was grateful he didn't join in her broad chuckle. “Can't say I'm looking forward to this shopping trip,” she went on, surprisingly, since she'd talked of nothing else. “It's not going to be much fun squashed up in the back of the Discovery with a load of old wrinklies all the way to Cirencester. …Say, Dan, you've got a car, aren't you? What about giving us a lift?”

“Yes, sure…” He glanced across at Frances.

“Oh, Frankie's not going. - Tobias's mum and dad don't really count her as one of the family, they said, and they told her to stay behind. …So it'll just be you and me, all cosy.”

“Oh, I see! I didn't realise.” Daniel was looking at Frances with understanding now, but before he could say more, Kath appeared round the corner of the house. She winked at Daniel, and hollered at the children.

“Hey kids! Who wants to hear about the treat they're having this morning?”

“There you are!” said Margery. “We wondered where on earth you'd got to.”

So much for discretion! There seemed to be a sea of faces in the hall, all looking up at them, as Hilary and Oliver came down the stairs.

“Sorry, - did we keep you waiting?” said Oliver. “Hilary and I got a bit carried away, I'm afraid.” …Oh great! She waited for Tony to make some ribald comment, but for once he failed to leap on a potential innuendo.

“So are we ready to roll now? What about the kids?”

“You'd better fetch Tobias, Stephen. Make sure he's wearing his scarf.”

“And what happened to Daddy? He's supposed to be coming shopping with us.”

“Oh, but I thought we'd agreed that he'd rather visit the Museum..”

“No, no! William's staying here to show Oliver round, and you're driving me and Hilary to Slimbridge.”

“Then who's taking us to Cirencester, may I ask?”

“Actually,” Oliver confessed, in the moment's silence that followed Lesley's aggrieved question, “there's no need to bother William now. - I've had a tour of the house.” He smiled at Hilary.

“Oh! …Well all right, you'd better come to Slimbridge with us. I dare say Stephen can fit you in.”

“But I've already explained, Aunt Margery,
we're
going to Cirencester.”

“But Hilary wants to go to Slimbridge…”

“No,” Hilary interposed gently, “I don't.”

“What? Of course you do!”

“Not really.” She felt a little conscience-stricken to see her mother-in-law so taken aback. “I'd rather go shopping. But if you're keen, of course I'll come with you…”

“Oh good lord,
I
don't want to go to Slimbridge!” exclaimed Margery. “I just thought it would be a treat for you.”

“Looks like we're all off to Cirencester, then,” said Julia, after the stunned pause that greeted this disclosure. “What fun! You'd better come with us and Daddy…”

“No, William's going with us.”

“Fine,” said Tony unexpectedly. “And I expect you can find room for Oliver on the back seat as well, can't you, if he squeezes up next to Tobias?”

“Oh, I'm not sure…”

This was the moment William chose to come in search of a little mid-morning refreshment. He was startled to find so many people in the hall, especially when they all rushed towards him and began to jabber about Museums and shopping and the relative comfort of their cars.

He waited until the hubbub died down and they were looking at him expectantly. Then he delivered his news.

“I've invited Cath Arncott to bring her children up here this morning to play with Posy and Tobias. - We thought they'd be such good companions for each other! And Leo has kindly volunteered to supervise them. …Oh dear, I do hope you haven't made any other plans? Little Grime and Brine would be so disappointed!”

The effect was everything to be expected, and William felt a momentary pang. - Daniel should have been there to see the expression on Lesley's face.

Margery was the first to speak, and did nothing to calm the waters. “Aren't those boys a bit rough? Never mind, it won't do Tobias any harm to have the corners knocked off him. Leo will be hopeless, of course, but at least it'll keep him out of everyone else's hair.”

“Oh dear, no, I don't think that will do…” Stephen looked anxiously at his wife, but she was still incapable of speech.

“Oh Daddy,” exclaimed Julia, “we're all supposed to be going into Cirencester! And anyway… I mean, one doesn't want to sound snobbish, and I'm sure Kath's boys are darlings, - but would they be comfortable, playing up here with ours? I'm thinking of them as much as anything.”

“It's a
preposterous
idea,” Lesley found her voice at last. “I'm surprised at you even considering anything so unsuitable, William. …God knows how a creature like Mrs. Arncott brings up her offspring! Do you
want
your grandson mixing with the type of delinquent one reads about in the Telegraph?”

Not being a Telegraph reader, William wasn't qualified to say, but at that moment the prospective delinquent ran into the hall, followed by his cousin Posy and a beaming Kath.

“Mummy, Mummy, we've got a
treat
happening!” He could hardly get the words out for excitement.

“Grime and Brine are coming to play, - they're
boys
!” Posy jumped up and down in delight.

“They're bigger than us, but they won't mind, - and they've got ‘putergames!”

“But darling, we've planned a treat for you already. We're going to the Museum, remember?”

“Museum's are boring! Posy says so. …I want to stay and play with Grime and Brine!” His face began to work. There was going to be a scene. William put off going to make his coffee.

“But it really isn't suitable…. Oh dear!” Lesley looked at her sister-in-law with a hopeless gesture.

Julia weighed in, at her most bright. “Tell you what! Why don't we go to Cirencester this morning, and then perhaps, if there's still time, Grime and Brine could come over this afternoon.”

“Yes, - if there's time.” Lesley clutched at this life-line, looking anxiously to see how it was received by Tobias.

“That way you get
two
treats,” Tony pointed out.

“Why can't we play with Grime and Brine now, and go shopping later?” enquired his sagacious daughter.

“All the shops'll be shut by then,” Julia improvised. “It's Christmas Eve.”

“In my day,” declared Margery, as the verdict hung in the balance, “young people were told what was happening and expected to get on with it. …Come on, we're going to Cirencester. Has that child got a coat?”

Hilary was amused to see how this broke the spell. Posy ran off to find one, terrified of being left behind. Kath muttered ‘I'll bring them along this afternoon then,” and hurried away before anyone could argue.

“You'd better have a coat too, Daddy,” said Julia. “Oh, - where is he?”

“He must have gone back to the living-room. Never mind, we'll collect him on the way.” Lesley saw an opportunity to snatch victory. “Come on, Hilary, if you're ready. …I'm afraid we can only take one, Oliver.”

“That's all right,” he came to her rescue, “I've got my car. Hilary can come with me.”

“Are you sure, Hilary?” …Oh dear, why was Tony looking at her in that quizzical way?

“I expect Daniel would like a lift as well. I'll go and find him.” God forbid anyone should think they were contriving to be alone. She hurried off in search of third party cover.

She eventually tracked her son down to the garden, - as so often, surrounded by women. Shelley was gazing soulfully into his face, - in as much as that girl could be said to have a soul, and Frances was standing a little apart, also looking rather wistful. Daniel hadn't been in the place five minutes, and he was already breaking hearts it seemed!

“Everyone's off to Cirencester now. Are you coming? Oliver kindly says we can go with him.”

“Oh no,” Shelley shot her a look of dislike, “Daniel and me are going in his car, - aren't we Dan?”

“No, you're going with the Britwells,” Hilary nipped that one in the bud. “Hurry up, they're waiting for you. …Frances, there's plenty of room with us.”

“Oh! But…”

“Don't you want to come?”

“Of course she does!” said Daniel.

“Dad's not out there, is he? We can't find him.” Stephen met them as they came back inside. “…Oh well. He must have gone with Julia and Tony.”

But Julia appeared a moment later. “Funny, - I thought Daddy was in the kitchen. Bother, he must have gone with Stephen and Ratso after all.”

William waited till he'd heard three sets of tyres go off down the drive, before emerging from his hiding-place in the pantry. Scratch appeared from a cupboard at the same time. They looked at each other, mutually appreciating the sudden silence in the house. Even Mrs. Arncott had gone home.