A Real Cowboy Knows How to Kiss (12 page)

He grinned then, and stretched back on the rock, clasping his hands behind his head. "I'm all yours, sweetheart, but I have to warn you, at some point, you're going to push me beyond my limit."

She grinned in anticipation as she straddled his hips. His erection was straining against his jeans, and she instinctively shifted so it was pressing into her exactly where she wanted it. She couldn't quite contain her small gasp when she got her position right. "Then what happens?"

His eyes were hooded as he watched her. "Then I'm the boss."

Oh, wow, she kind of liked the sound of that. Grinning, she braced her hands on either side of his head and kissed him. She'd meant for it to be flirty and teasing, but the moment their lips came together, the kiss turned ravenous. She immediately forgot about being the seductress, and could think only about how much she wanted to be close to him.

He cupped her breasts, then broke the kiss and pulled her upward, so that he could take her nipple into his mouth. Desire rushed through her as he sucked and bit, and she tipped her head back, drinking in every feeling he was awakening in her. This was Steen, the man she'd idolized for so long. It was surreal to be touched so hungrily, by a man she craved so deeply. It was beyond anything she could have imagined, and she'd spent a lot of time imagining what it could have been like if she'd married someone else, anyone else, other than Louis. But never had she imagined it could be like this.

Still kissing her breasts, Steen's hands went to the fly of her jeans. She sucked in her belly when he unbuttoned them, and her heart started racing as he slowly unzipped them. Could she do this? Sleep with Steen? "I don't think—"

She cut herself off when he slid his hands over her hips, dragging her jeans and underwear down. His hands felt amazing on her hips, and the way he slid them over her thighs, like he wanted to own them, was exhilarating. She felt his possessiveness in every move he made, and she loved it.

Excitement rushed through her, and without thinking, she began to unbutton his jeans. He helped her, and within moments, the sensual kissing had been consumed by a frantic need for bare skin, without clothing in the way. She was vaguely aware of jeans going flying, and boots thudding off the rock to the ground below, but the sheer strength of Steen's presence obscured everything else from her mind.

This time, when he sat up and pulled her onto his lap, there were no thick pieces of denim between them. Just the unbelievable sensation of skin against skin, of his body against hers. His erection pressed against her belly as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him so desperately, as if she could pour her entire soul into his. His response was equally intense, his hands spanning her lower back, then her hips, then her rear end, as if he needed to touch every part of her at once just to survive.

"I want to be inside you," he whispered.

Her heart leapt. Really? Was this really going to happen? "Me, too."

"I don't have any condoms."

She pulled back, her cheeks flooding. "I'm on the pill. Not because I'm having sex with anyone, because I'm not, but it's for cramps." God, did he think she did this all the time?

His expression softened, as if he'd read her mind. "Sweetheart, you could carry around entire cartons of condoms and sixteen different sexual aids, and I still wouldn't think you slept around." He grabbed her hips, pulling her closer. "I'm clean. When I was dying in the hospital, they tested me for every disease known to mankind. One of those invasions of privacy they do in pris—" He cut himself off, his face suddenly going hard.

She didn't know what he'd just thought of, but her heart wanted to cry for the sudden flash of torment in his face. She pressed a kiss to his mouth, refusing to give up until he responded. After a moment of hesitation, he grabbed her hair and turned the kiss carnal, as if he were running from whatever memory had just flared up. It was bruising, almost overwhelming, but instead of turning her off, his desperation seemed to ignite something inside her, something feral and wild, a side of her that she'd never before allowed to be free.

Their upper bodies were crushed against each other, her breasts smashed against his bare chest, her legs tight around his hips. She was trying to keep her thigh away from his injured side, but she could barely keep her focus as the kisses and touching intensified. Finally, desperately, she tried to break away to speak, but he barely gave her room to get the words out. "Me, too," she managed, before he kissed her again, so deeply and intimately it felt as if he were a part of her soul. "After Louis cheated..." Another kiss, deeper, more intense. His hands on her butt, gripping her. "I had to know. I got tested..."

"I don't give a shit if you have a thousand diseases," Steen said as he grabbed her hips and lifted her up. "Whatever happens after this moment doesn't matter. I'd give my life if it was the only way I could have this moment with you."

His eyes were intense and heated as he stared at her, and her heart tightened when she realized he meant every word. "Steen—"

"You're mine, Erin, and you always have been." And with that statement, he lowered her down onto his erection.

He slid inside perfectly, and she gasped when he filled her. He was so deep, deeper than she'd ever felt, and it was incredible. Tears filled her eyes as he moved her hips in a rhythm that brought him deeper and deeper, locking them together in a way that she knew would be imprinted upon her soul forever.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, a searing kiss that consumed them both. She began to move on him, and his hips moved as well, tantalizing her with each thrust and tease. Desire pooled in her belly, building and building until she felt like her body was going to explode. She was gripping his shoulders, her entire body tense. "You can go ahead," she said, even as she was gasping for air. She didn't want him to wait for her, for the orgasm that would never come. What she was experiencing was beyond what she had ever expected, and she didn't want it ruined by both of them trying to get her to have an orgasm that would never happen. "I never have them."

"Never?" There was a low chuckle. "You've never been with me, sweetheart." He somehow managed to thrust even deeper, despite the fact that he was sitting up and she was on his lap.

She gasped, her finger digging into his shoulders. "Please don't put that kind of pressure on me," she said. "It will just ruin it. I want it to be perfect—"

He moved his hand between them and touched her clitoris. She yelped at the rush of sensation, and suddenly, she couldn't think, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't do anything but hold onto him as he rubbed the taut bud, his fingers sliding over the nub again and again, until her whole body was screaming for release.

"Now," he whispered, just before he lifted her up and thrust deep inside her again.

The orgasm exploded through her, a searing release that seemed to ignite every cell of her body. She gasped his name, but he swallowed her yelp in a blistering kiss as he came, his hips pounding into her as he poured his seed into her body, his arms wrapped so tightly around her she didn't even bother to hold herself up. She just gave herself completely over to the orgasm, to him, to the utter capitulation of her soul, until there was nothing left but one final shudder as she collapsed against him.

For a long while, they didn't move. They simply stayed entwined, with her leaning against him while he held her up. He laughed softly, nuzzling her neck as he locked his arms around her back, not letting her go. "Never?" he teased. "Did you say you
never
had them? Because I'm pretty sure that's what you said."

She sighed, smiling into his neck as she rested her hands limply on his hips. "Apparently, I lied."

"Apparently. I forgive you, this one time." He pressed his lips to her forehead, and she could feel the laughter rumbling in his chest. "But never do it again."

"Have an orgasm?" she teased. "Or lie?"

He slid his hand beneath her chin, lifting her head so she was looking at him. "Sweetheart, if I have anything to say about it, there are going to be a lot more orgasms in your future. Hundreds. Thousands. Maybe even millions."

There was no way to stop the thrill of anticipation. "A million? How am I going to take care of all the animals?"

He grinned. "We have time."

At his words, her smile faded. "Ten days," she said. "We only have ten days."

His smile faded as well, and for a long moment, there was only silence between them. Finally, he brushed the hair back from her face. "A million in ten days is going to take a lot of work." His voice was rough, now, almost hoarse. "We better get busy, don't you think?" He tugged lightly on her hair. "I know it's just a bunk house, but I think you should stay with me tonight." His smile was completely gone now, and his expression was serious. "I mean it. Stay with me tonight."

The thought of crawling into bed with him, and waking up in his arms was intoxicating, but instead of excitement, Erin just felt a deep sense of loneliness settling down around her. She knew she had to leave in ten days. It was her choice to do so. It was her career, and her life. She didn't want Steen trying to stop her from living her life, but at the same time, she realized she was a little bit crushed that he hadn't issued even the slightest hint at having this thing they'd started go beyond the ten days, not even a whisper of remorse that it would have to end. Just a request to spend the night so that they could make the most of the ten days before it was over.

His eyes narrowed. "What did I say?"

"Nothing." She managed a smile as she raised herself off him and tried to stand up.

He caught her around the waist, rolled her onto her back on the rock, and pinned her down with his body. "No." His eyes were blazing again, as they had been every other time she'd tried to shut him out. "You don't share something as intimate as what we just shared and then lock me out. What just happened?"

She shook her head and pushed ineffectually at his arm. "Nothing. I just want to go."

Trying to budge him was like trying to move a mountain with a feather. He just settled more deeply on her, pinning her to the rock. Yes, he was lean from his injury, but even so, he was so much heavier and stronger than she was. She had no chance of extricating herself until he decided to let her go. "Steen, please, this isn't fair. I want to go."

He still didn't move. "You remember the girl I was dating in high school?"

She hesitated, trying to grasp the sudden change of topic. "Rachel? Yes, of course." She'd hated that red-haired cheerleader with every ounce of her soul. The girl had fondled Steen constantly, but she'd been mean and nasty to Erin every time they were alone. She had no idea what she'd done to make Rachel dislike her, but the cheerleader had been very good at punishing her for it.

"When I busted my knee in high school, she decided that I wasn't going anywhere, and she was done with me."

Erin frowned, remembering how they'd broken up in senior year. "Well, she wasn't very nice—"

"You know how I found out?" He met her gaze, and this time, she saw real emotion in them. Betrayal. Hurt. Pain. "I walked into her house to take her to dinner for our three-year anniversary, and she was messing around with the backup quarterback who had taken over for me when I got hurt. She laughed and said I was a fool not to realize what was going on, and that everyone knew." His voice was bitter.

Erin's heart tightened. "I'm sorry." She knew how awful that was. There was no pain that bit as deeply as having the person you loved and trusted most betray you.

He met her gaze again. "I didn't learn my lesson well enough that time," he said. "Five years ago, I ran into her at the local grocery store. She was in town for a wedding. I was in a bad place in my life, and I saw her as a sign from the angels. She talked a good game, and asked for forgiveness for what she'd done to me in high school. I believed she'd changed, and I thought she regretted it. I thought she had been sent to me to drag me back to the land of the living. We were in the middle of having sex when her husband walked into the hotel room. She had used me to make him jealous because she was pissed at him. She told him that I—" He stopped then, his face going hard.

She held her breath, fear prickling down her spine. Something terrible had happened that night, she was certain. Something that had eviscerated him. "What happened, Steen?"

He shook his head. "The day my mom left me at my dad's," he said, changing the subject again, "she told me that she'd be back in a week, like she had been every other time. I waited for her. Day after day after day. I believed she would come back for me, but she never did. I never heard from her again. She made me a promise to be there for me, just like Rachel had, and they both lied. So, I learned my lesson about believing in anyone, and I learned it well. I don't trust women, and I don't trust secrets." He searched her face. "But I trust you, Erin. You're the only person on this God-forsaken planet that I trust, and I can't take it if you lie to me and shut me out."

There was an edge to his voice, something desperate, something far beyond the story he'd told about Rachel. What else had happened that night in the hotel room? "Steen—"

"Tell me what's wrong, Erin. I want to know what I did to make you pull away." He looked stricken, almost tormented. "Did I read the signs wrong? Did you not want to make love? Did I talk you into something you didn't want to do?"

"Oh, God, no. I wanted you to make love to me more than anything else I've ever wanted." She was horrified that she'd made him wonder that.

Relief rushed across his face, and she felt his body tremble as he bowed his head for a moment, gathering himself.

"I'm so sorry," she said. "I never meant to make you think that." She instinctively touched his head, running her fingers through his hair.

He looked up, searching her face, as if he were waiting for her to say the rest. "You can tell me anything, Erin. I've known you since we were kids." He pressed a kiss to her left breast, just above her heart. "Please tell me why you're pulling away. I don't know what I did. I need to know."