A Reluctant Bride (33 page)

Sadie woke the next morning and grimaced. Another night spent in her clothes. She had managed a small amount of sleep, but she still felt tired—and embarrassed over what had happened last night. Aden had seen her weak, and that unsettled her. Yet she couldn't forget how he'd been there for her. The flash of worry in his eyes as she told him she wanted to be alone. She didn't understand him. She was letting him know he didn't need to be obligated to her. That she could handle herself.

I really handled myself last night . . .

She shook her head. This morning she would pretend nothing had happened. They would continue through the day as normal . . . at least as normal as possible. If Aden didn't bring it up, she doubted he would.

She rose and quickly dressed, shoving the last bobby pin in her
kapp
as she opened her bedroom door. Her bare foot touched something warm and solid. Sadie looked down, her mouth dropping open when she saw Aden lying on the hardwood floor next to the threshold. Abigail's quilt was halfway around his shoulders.
His back was to her, and he was sleeping on his side. A flash of guilt ran through her as she realized how uncomfortable he had to be. He didn't even have a pillow.

“Aden?” She knelt down and touched his shoulder. When he didn't move she gave it a nudge.

He rolled over on his back, his eyes barely opening. “Sadie?” Then his eyes opened fully. He sat up. “What? Is something wrong?”

“It's morning.”

He scrambled to his feet, then yawned, pulling the quilt around him. He looked a little endearing with his hair sticking up and wearing a girly-looking quilt.

She quickly averted her gaze.

“How did you sleep?” he asked.

“Okay.” Another slash of guilt forced her to look at him. “Why were you on the floor?”

He yawned again. “I tried sleeping against the wall. Floor's more comfortable.” He still sounded drowsy.

“That's not what I meant—”

“Better get to the horses,” he said, walking away and effectively not answering her question. “Jasper eats twice as much as the others, which figures.”

“Aden—”

But he walked into Abigail's room before she could say anything else. Before she had a chance to thank him.
So much for me ignoring what happened.

Patience arrived shortly after eight in the morning to help Sadie in the store. When Sadie saw her friend, she almost fainted with
relief. Aden had remembered to tell her Patience was ill, and Sadie hadn't thought her friend would be back so soon. When she went to hug her, Patience held off. “Just in case. I don't want you to get sick.”

“I don't care,” Sadie said, tears threatening to well up in her eyes again. She was disgusted with herself. Why wouldn't the tears stay at bay? It was becoming harder and harder to keep them locked inside.

“That's what Timothy said.” Patience sniffed. “But now he's got a cough.”

Sadie frowned. “Are you sure you want to be here?” She stopped just short of saying Aden could help out.

“I'm going crazy stuck in the
haus
,” she said, smiling. “Plus, I feel so much better. I haven't coughed since yesterday morning, and last night I slept for over nine hours.”

“As long as you're sure. I don't want you to wear yourself out.”

Patience nodded. The store sign was turned to Open, but they didn't have a customer yet. Sadie was behind the counter, and she reached to straighten the pencils in the pencil can, only to pull back at the reminder of her mother. The strain in her throat returned.

“I need to apologize,” Patience said, putting her purse on the counter.

Sadie frowned. “For what?”

“I was short with you when I was here the other day. I'm sorry for that. I promise I won't ask about you and Aden anymore.”

Her hands gripping the side of the counter, Sadie regarded her friend. Again the unwelcome sting in her eyes came without warning, and she looked away. But not fast enough.

“Sadie.” Patience's gentle, sweet voice brought welcome warmth. “What is it?”

Sadie clenched her hands together. “I don't know how to do this,” she managed.

“Do what?”

“Be a wife.”

With a compassionate smile Patience walked to the other side of the counter and hugged Sadie.

“What about getting sick?” Sadie said, surprised but glad for the hug.

“You need this more.” She pulled back, still smiling. “I can't teach you how to be a wife. No one can. Only God can guide you and help you realize what
yer
husband needs.”

Deep down she knew what Aden needed even though he hadn't asked for it. But she felt it with every tender expression, every light touch, every gesture of . . . what?
Love?
No, that couldn't be it. Desire, maybe. Yet she knew what desire looked like. She had seen it in Sol's eyes before. Aden had never looked—never leered—at her that way.

“I'm sure Aden is trying to figure out what you need too,” Patience said, breaking into her thoughts. “You've always been strong and independent. Perhaps he's searching for his place in the marriage, just like you are.”

Sadie nodded, but she thought Aden seemed more confident in their relationship than she was. He seemed to have blossomed since their wedding day, while she shrank more into herself.

“God brought the two of you together for a purpose.” Patience's smile widened.

“Why would he do that?” Sadie asked.

“Because he knows what's best for us. That doesn't mean everything will be easy and
gut
.” She grew serious. “Now you don't have to face life alone. You have someone who loves you standing by
yer
side.”

Sadie gulped as a customer walked into the store. Patience said hello and moved from behind the counter, leaving Sadie alone with her thoughts. Of course Patience thought Aden loved her. Everyone else did too. Only a few people knew the truth.

And God. He knows.

Patience's words were meant to be comforting, but they stirred up more confusion. Aden had also told her she didn't have to be alone. When her parents died and then her sisters left for Middlefield, that's exactly what she'd been—alone. Until Aden married her.

Is that why you married me? To put
yer
guilt to rest?

Sadie . . . I married you because I wanted to.

Her heart tripped as she remembered what Abigail had told her when she visited her and Joanna.
There were little things. I'd see him watching you during the service.
And then what Sol had said.
He loves you. That's why he married you.

She closed her eyes.
He spent the night lying on the floor outside your bedroom. Without a pillow.

Her eyes flew open, and something broke loose inside her heart.

Aden pushed open the back door of the barn, which faced away from the store. Good thing, too, since he had to add to the growing pile of manure a few feet away. It wouldn't take much of a wind to catch the strong scent and send it wafting toward the store, which wouldn't bother Amish customers but might offend the
Englisch
.

As much as he liked working in the store, he was glad to see
Patience arrive this morning. Not only did he have work to do, but Sadie needed her friend.

He walked inside the barn. Since caring for Sol's pig of a horse, the manure had multiplied in the stalls. Actually he didn't mind—Jasper was gentle and eager to please, the exact opposite of his owner. As he mucked out the stall, Aden pondered what to do, if anything, about Sol. Admittedly it was a relief to know that he didn't have to be always on guard, expecting Sol to show up any minute. But where had he gone? His brother had left four days ago . . . the same day he was shunned.

The back of his teeth crashed together at the memory of the way his father had told him about Sol. Then he remembered his mother's pain, her plea not to go against his father. He could only imagine what she was going through, and she had to do it practically alone. Aden was sure the bishop was of no comfort.

Aden continued cleaning out the stalls, losing himself in the work as he often did when he performed a task. He was taking out the last wheelbarrow of manure to the huge dung pile when he saw a figure approach. He dropped the handles of the wheelbarrow, realizing who it was.

Sol.

CHAPTER 20

A
den's mouth fell open. His brother looked terrible—his body gaunt, his clothes soiled, and from a few feet away Aden caught a whiff of horrible body odor. Sol continued to walk toward Aden, his shoulders slumped, carrying none of the haughty confidence he'd always had.

“Sol,” he said, almost too stunned to speak. His brother looked like he'd been through a fight—and lost.

Sol halted. “I won't come any closer.”

Aden shook his head and went to meet him. “Don't worry about that.” He looked Sol up and down. “Where have you been?”

“That doesn't matter.” He looked at Aden, his eyes eerie . . . yet serene. “I came to apologize.”

Aden's eyes widened. “What?”

He held out his hands. “I'm sorry, Aden. For everything. For what I did to you. What I did to Sadie.” He hung his head. “I'm asking for
yer
forgiveness.”

His brother had never said he was sorry. Ever. Aden peered at him, trying to sense Sol's angle. “Is this a trick?”

“
Nee
.” Despite his appearance, Sol's voice sounded strong. Genuine. “I'd understand if you sent me away. You must already know I'm in the
bann
. Those are the rules, and I will abide by them.”

Removing his hat, Aden pushed back his hair, trying to comprehend the outward and apparently inward change in Sol. It was strange to see his normally clean-shaven brother with a scraggily mustache and beard. But it was even odder to see the sincerity in his apology.

“I have only one favor to ask of you,” Sol said.

Here it comes
. Of course there would be conditions to his “apology.” Aden crossed his arms, pushing away any sympathy he had felt for his brother.

“I need a place to stay tonight. Somewhere warm.” He shivered. “Safe. Can I sleep in
yer
barn? Sadie won't know I'm here. I'll leave in the morning and you can keep
mei
horse and buggy as payment and restitution.”

Aden's mind spun. He'd never seen Sol like this. He was vulnerable. He was humble.

Tend to your brother.

The voice in the center of his soul, the one that had spoken to him so many times over the years, was louder than he'd ever heard it. Could his brother have changed? Could he have become a different person in a few short days?

Did it even matter?

Sol was hungry, ragged, and had nothing to his name. In spite of the past and impelled by an unseen force, Aden went to his brother. He wouldn't turn him away. “You'll not sleep in the barn,” he said, putting his arm around Sol's thin shoulders, a lump coming to his throat as the man who had always been taller, stronger, and better than Aden leaned against him. “You're welcome in
mei haus
.”