A Reunion And A Ring (Proposals & Promises Book 1) (16 page)

Her mother stiffened. “Jennifer Gayle Baer, if you’re implying that I wanted you to marry Thad for his money, or that I expect you to support me when I am perfectly capable of supporting myself, then I’m going to be very offended.”

Smiling a little, Jenny held up a hand. “I wasn’t implying anything of the sort, Mom.” Though she was a little relieved to have it spelled out. “I just wanted you to know I’m here for you, too.”

“I do know that. Thank you.”

They glided and sipped in silence for a moment, and then her mom asked the inevitable question. “What about Gavin?”

“I don’t know,” Jenny admitted. “He... I have to admit there are feelings, but...”

More than anyone, perhaps, her mother understood. “But he’s still a cop.”

Jenny nodded somberly. “And I still don’t know how to deal with that.”

“Lots of jobs carry risk. He could be a pilot. Or a soldier. Or he could be a firefighter, like your dad. I always worried about the danger in his job, though sadly his off-duty hobbies were even more dangerous,” she added with a little break in her voice. Speaking more firmly, she continued, “Actually, construction jobs are quite hazardous. Take it from someone who worked in ER for several years and saw some fairly nasty construction injuries. Would you be just as wary of Gavin if he were a roofer or a high-rise worker at the end of a harness? Or would you feel free to love him only if he worked in an office or a classroom, where he’d be relatively safe barring an unexpected illness or car accident or tornado or mugging?”

So many things to go wrong, Jenny thought with a little shudder. So many ways to lose someone. She knew her mother had been driving home a point, but rather than reassure her, the list only made her more afraid to give her heart completely.

“I’m scared,” she whispered. “It didn’t work out last time, and it almost broke my heart. What if...?”

She swallowed a huge lump in her throat.

“As I said before, you have to decide what’s right for you, Jenny. Whether it’s Gavin or Thad or life as a single career woman, whatever makes you happy is what you should choose. Not what pleases your grandmother or me or your friends or anyone else. Think about what it is that gives you pure joy—the way your father did for me—and go after it with your whole heart. I have no doubt that you can do anything you set your mind to. And don’t worry about your grandmother. She’ll throw a tantrum, but we’ll deal with her together.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Any time, sweetie. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” And despite everything, Jenny loved her contrary, bossy, pretentious and damaged grandmother. Which only went to show, she supposed, that there was no logic to her heart. Now if only she could decide whether to listen more to her heart or her mind, her courage or her fears, when it came to Gavin.

Chapter Ten

H
er tensely awaited reunion with Thad could only be described as a dark comedy of errors. Almost everything that could go wrong did.

Before he’d even left on his two-week trip, they had arranged for her to accompany him to an important fund-raiser Wednesday evening at an exclusive downtown hotel. The tickets had cost a thousand dollars each, but Thad hadn’t blinked at the price. It was important, he’d said, for him to attend this particular event. All his law-firm partners would be there, and his presence was expected.

The plan had been for his plane to land early that afternoon, giving him time to go home, shower and change and pick up Jenny for a nice dinner before the gala. That schedule didn’t leave a lot of time for the conversation she needed to have with him, but she was prepared to talk with him as soon as he arrived to collect her. She would be dressed to go out, but she would assure him that she would understand if he’d prefer she stay behind.

She rather hoped that would be his decision, which would be far less awkward, but she’d promised to accompany him and she would keep her word if he wanted her at his side for one final event. She knew Thad would smile and mingle and be a courteous escort regardless of his feelings about her turning down his proposal.

She hadn’t heard from Gavin since she’d pretty much kicked him out of her bed. She knew he was waiting for her to call, but she wasn’t quite ready for that. She told herself it was because she needed to settle things with Thad, but she suspected it was more cowardice than courtesy that held her back.

She still wondered if it wouldn’t be better for both of them to leave it as it was. At least this time they would have parted with a few hours of amazing pleasure rather than angry words, with kisses instead of tears. Wouldn’t that be infinitely preferable to trying again and probably failing again?

Thad called from the airport in Phoenix. His connecting flight had been delayed an hour. An hour later he called to say he’d been delayed again. Just before he was finally able to board, he gave her a quick, terse call to let her know there would be no time for dinner.

“I hate to do this, but I’ll have to pick you up in a rush to make it to the fund-raiser at a decent time. I’m so sorry, Jenny.”

So their talk would have to wait until later in the evening. “It’s okay,” she assured him. “You couldn’t help the delays. I’ll be ready to go as soon as you arrive.”

“Thanks, sweetheart. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. The attendants are telling us to turn off our phones now, so I have to disconnect. I’ll see you in a few hours. Love ya, Jenny.”

He disconnected before she could respond, though she didn’t know what she’d have said. Why had she not noticed before how empty the words sounded from him?

She was ready an hour early, dressed in a tasteful black, knee-length dress with an unexpected pop of hot pink in glimpses of lining at the swirling hem. The dress came from her boutique, as she would be sure to tell anyone who complimented her.

Thad wore an apologetic smile when she opened her door to him. Despite his hectic hours of travel, he was impeccably groomed, as always.

“I’m so sorry to rush you this way, Jenny,” he said, brushing a careful kiss close to her mouth so as not to smudge her lipstick. “You look beautiful, as you always do. Did you have dinner?”

She hadn’t been able to eat a bite, but she merely nodded. “I’m fine, thanks. And again, the delays weren’t your fault.”

“We should go, then.”

She buckled herself into the soft leather seat of his sports car while he rounded the hood after closing her door for her. Climbing behind the wheel, he shot her a smile as he started the powerful engine. “We’ll have a good time tonight, I’m sure. We’ve gotten off to a harried start because of the inefficiency of modern air travel. I’m thinking about investing in a private jet, perhaps shared with a couple of partners. Some of my associates do that, and it’s so much more convenient for them.”

“I can see where it would be.”

Private jets, she thought with a tiny shake of her head. She rarely even traveled first class.

He didn’t speed as he drove them toward downtown, but he hovered right at the limit. “You have to admit it will be easier after we’re married when we have only one home from which to operate. No more hasty pickups and drop-offs. Won’t that be better?”

She almost bit her lip, but remembered at the last moment to guard her makeup. Instead, she looked out the window at the familiar landscape they passed. Though she sensed Thad glancing her way, probably wondering what was going on with her tonight, he seemed to understand this wasn’t the time or the place to ask.

A small crowd of student-age demonstrators carrying signs and chanting circled outside the hotel entrance, blocking traffic and generally causing a disruption. Jenny saw several uniformed police officers trying to corral the group off the street, but it looked as though they were trying to herd cats. Defiant cats.

Thad pulled into the portico, where a slightly harried parking valet hurried to open the door and take the keys. Someone snapped a photo using a bright flash as Thad helped Jenny out of the car. Local press covering the event, most likely. Thad would have been instantly recognized. She could already imagine the cutline: Prominent Attorney Thad Simonson and Guest.

Shouts broke out from the street and she turned curiously, as did Thad and everyone else waiting to enter the fund-raiser. Some of the protesters had turned violent in their resistance to being restrained. Fists flew as more uniformed officers converged on the scene. One particularly large demonstrator threw a hard punch, sending an officer flying backward to land with a grunt of pain on the street only a couple feet from where Jenny stood.

Instinctively she took a step forward, thinking she recognized something about the man in the uniform, her heart skipping a beat in dread. It started again with a jolt when he climbed angrily to his feet and she realized it wasn’t Gavin. Of course it wasn’t. He hadn’t even returned to work yet, she thought with an exasperated shake of her head.

Thad followed her gaze, then gave her a searching look. “Someone you know?”

She shook her head. “No.”

An ambitious public defender Jenny had met a couple times before, and disliked considerably, glared at the melee and motioned dramatically to her companions as they waited impatiently to be admitted to the high-security event. “That’ll just get the other uniforms riled up,” she said with a long-suffering sigh. “They’ll be breaking out the riot gear. I certainly hope they don’t resort to excessive force just because a few protestors get out of hand. We’ve all seen how cops can behave.”

Jenny spun on one heel to face the woman, incensed on behalf of the officers who were already succeeding in calming the scene, though several angry youths were being led away in restraints. “Protecting us, you mean? Getting punched in the face so that we can go into our thousand-dollar-a-plate gala without being harassed by people who are obviously unhappy about something? Helping women and children in distress, protecting property, keeping criminals off the streets?”

She realized belatedly that her disdainful comments would not be appreciated by this conservative crowd of politicos who at least gave lip service to supporting men and women in uniform.

The other woman gave a quick, strained laugh and apologized insincerely. “I guess I didn’t word that very well. I certainly wasn’t casting a bad light on all officers, merely expressing concern that this protest doesn’t get out of hand on either side. Oh, look, the line’s finally moving. We should go inside.”

A little embarrassed now by her own vehemence, Jenny looked apologetically at Thad as he rested a hand on her back to accompany her inside. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause a scene.”

He chuckled. “Far be it from me to criticize you for taking a stand on a subject that’s important to you. You’ve heard me get wound up over a few issues myself, right? I can’t consider going into politics without being aware that I’ll be called on frequently to defend my beliefs.”

He was such a nice guy, she thought wistfully. A great catch, as her grandmother had insisted so often. And yet...his hand on her back didn’t make her pulse race or her hands tremble. She wasn’t in love with him—not in the way her mother had described loving her dad, or the way Jenny had loved Gavin all those years ago. The way she still loved him now.

Both men had strong convictions and noble causes. But only one of them held a permanent place in her heart. Now if only she could find the courage to open that wary heart to him, despite the risks of loving without reservation.

Fortunately, they weren’t required to stay long at the fund-raiser. Satisfied to have made an appearance, and connections, Thad made excuses early, blaming weariness from travel and early appointments the next day. He offered to take her someplace for a late dinner after they made their escape, but Jenny politely declined. They made the drive back to her place in near silence.

No one had ever accused Thad of being oblivious. He waited only until they were inside her apartment before asking quietly, “You’ve made your decision, haven’t you? About my proposal, I mean.”

She moistened her lips. “I have.”

He nodded in resignation. “You’re turning me down.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t marry you, Thad. I think you’re a very special man, and I’m extremely flattered that you asked me, but it wouldn’t be fair for me to accept when I don’t truly believe it’s right for either of us.”

He sighed lightly. “I still think we’d have been a great couple. But I accept your decision, of course. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

“So am I,” she said candidly, a hard lump in her throat.

Thad squeezed the back of his neck, then dropped his arm and straightened his shoulders. “If you don’t mind my asking—who is he?”

“Who is who?” she asked cautiously, studying him through her lashes.

Smiling crookedly, he shrugged. “I was told you were with another man at a bar last weekend. I thought perhaps it was just a friend, but something I’ve heard in your voice when we’ve talked since made me wonder if there was more to it. Now I suspect I was right.”

She cleared her throat before answering candidly. “I
was
with someone Saturday night. It wasn’t planned exactly. I wasn’t sneaking around seeing anyone behind your back or anything like that. I fully intended to tell you everything when you returned.”
Well, maybe not everything.
“You remember me telling you about the guy I dated in college?”

He looked as though a lightbulb went on in his head, perhaps as he recalled her little speech before the fund-raiser. “The one who became a police officer?”

She hadn’t told him much more than that when they’d exchanged a few tales of past loves over dinner and drinks one night not so long ago. Maybe one too many drinks. “Yes.”

“You’re seeing him again?”

“We sort of ran into each other. It’s a long story, and I’ll spare you the details. But Gavin isn’t the main reason I have to turn down your proposal, Thad. I don’t know for certain if he and I will continue to see each other. It’s just, well, I’ve realized that it wouldn’t be fair of me to marry you when I’m not able to totally commit to you. I can’t walk away from my business. Sink or swim in the long run, it means too much to me. And I couldn’t do justice to you if I’m not free to travel and attend all these functions with you and everything else you need from a wife and a partner in your future. I’m sorry. I hope we can still be friends,” she added, because such a speech was always supposed to conclude that way.

“I hope so, too.” He leaned over to brush a kiss across her lips. “Be happy, Jenny. And if you change your mind...you know where to find me.”

She wouldn’t change her mind, she thought as she closed her door behind him. And he knew it. She doubted it would be long before he started seeing someone else. And while it made her a little sad to think that their relationship was over, she had no other regrets about her decision.

Apparently she was more like her mother than she’d ever realized. And despite what her grandmother or anyone else might think, maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing, after all.

* * *

The drive up the hill to the cabin was much nicer in pretty weather. Emerald-green leaves rustled in a slight breeze against a brilliantly blue, cloudless sky on this Saturday afternoon. A few trees showed fresh gashes from having limbs broken off in the storm winds earlier in the month. The road was still bumpy, pocked with new holes left from the floodwaters. Much tamer now than it had been when she’d seen it last, the river ran cheerily alongside the rising road. The only storm raging now was the one inside Jenny’s heart as she neared the cabin.

This was probably the most reckless thing she had ever done in her life. And it frightened her to her toes. But here she was.

She parked in front of the cabin. She didn’t see anyone around, but she knew Gavin was here.

She climbed slowly out of the car, her new, bright green sneakers crunching against the gravel drive as she moved toward the front door. It was a warm day, and she’d dressed accordingly in a sleeveless top and cropped pants. A bag of similarly casual clothing sat in the backseat of her car. She was prepared to stay overnight, if things went well.

She was just about to knock when a hammering sound from around back caught her attention. Following the sound, she stepped off the porch and walked around the cabin. Gavin had his back to her as he hammered at something he was building with long wooden boards.

“At least I’m not waking you up this time,” she said, speaking over the noise. “But you did look very appealing all rumpled and sleepy.”

He froze, then turned slowly to face her, the hammer dangling at his side. He still looked sexy as all get-out in his loose jeans and damp tee, both covered in sawdust. “Jenny?”

It was taking everything she had to keep her posture relaxed, her tone casual, her smile easy. “What are you building?”

For a moment, he looked as though he couldn’t remember. “A window box,” he said after a pause. “My mom thought some flowers would look nice under the kitchen window.”