A Rip Roaring Good Time (34 page)

When we finally got control of ourselves, I asked Rip, "You know the author, George R.R. Martin, whose books the
Game of Thrones
series was adapted from?"

It was a rhetorical question since we both knew Rip couldn't come up with enough authors to use up all ten fingers if he had to. And those few authors included Mark Twain and Dr. Seuss. He'd always said that if God wanted us to read he wouldn't have created the television. I once heard him tell an influential author at a law enforcement seminar that his favorite book was
A Tree Grows in Boston
. I'm pretty sure the writer was not as impressed as Rip had hoped she'd be.

"Well, George R.R. Martin once wrote, 'Shattered legs may heal in time, but some betrayals fester and poison the soul.' I think in this instance, a shattered soul poisoned the betrayer."

"Very clever, sweetheart," Rip said. "Not to mention, I'm impressed you can remember a quote like that but forget where you've left your glasses nine out of ten times."

"Yeah, no kidding! Hey! I almost forgot. I've got good news and even gooder news," I excitedly told my husband.

"
Gooder
news? This from a woman who beat me at Scrabble a few weeks ago with the word 'zyzzyva'?"

"It's a tropical weevil. Everyone knows that."

"Well, I didn't. I thought the word 'weevil' pretty much covered it. And I'm still wondering where you came up with the extra 'z's'."

"Slight of hand, my dear. And just for your information, 'gooder' describes the tail feathers of an albatross."

"No kidding?" Rip asked. "I'd never heard of that."

"Yep! As in 'the large bird's gooder was thinning out as it began to molt,'" I explained, with just a hint of superiority in my voice.

I didn't tell my easily fooled husband he'd fallen for another made-up word with a matching made-up definition. You know, just in case I might want to use the fictional word in a future game of Scrabble. Naturally, if Rip ever tried to use "gooder" as a word in the board game, I'd most certainly challenge it.

"Hey, baby, we got side-tracked. Tell me the good news," Rip requested, as he soothingly caressed my shoulder with his hand.

Our playful bantering may have side-tracked us, but it also seemed to make Rip forget about his pain and discomfort for a few minutes. "Oh, yeah. Sorry. I did go off on a tangent, didn't I? Lexie called while you were in recovery to tell me that first thing this morning, Wendy was offered the promotion to Deputy County Coroner, replacing Max when he retires at the end of the year."

"That's terrific," Rip said. "She deserves it, and I couldn't be more proud of her."

"And the other bit of news is that Alice Runcan was booked on murder charges, as you already knew. However, Lexie told me that Judge Jueti has recommended a mental evaluation be performed on her first. The judge believes Alice really
could
qualify for an insanity plea."

"Outstanding! I was only half kidding about Alice having that option in the bag."

"Oh, and there's one more thing. Chief Leonard Smith has been placed on administrative leave pending an investigation into his alleged misconduct and corruption. At the very least, instead of heading up the Rockdale Police Department, he'll likely be working at Wendy's favorite restaurant in the near future."

"If I owned Wendy's, I wouldn't even hire that louse to ask decent law-abiding folks if they'd like fries with their burgers. But, I gotta say, that's the
goodest
news of all."

After he finished speaking, Rip moaned and gave himself a dose of morphine via his pain pump. I was trying to think of some other silly topic to discuss that might help Rip take his mind off the pain. But before I could come up with anything, he had reached down to take my hand, and asked, "Do you remember me saying I thought our stay here would be a rip roaring good time?"

"Yes, I do, as a matter of fact."

"Well, I was wrong. Dead wrong, in fact! But it's definitely been an experience we won't soon forget."

"You can say that again!"

"But it's definitely been an experience we ─ "

"Oh, you nut!" I smacked him gently with the pillow I'd been leaning against. I was happy to see that despite the pain Rip was enduring, his sense of humor was still intact. "By the way, I called your brother and told him why we wouldn't be able to make it to Chicago for the wedding next week. He told me to give you his best and tell you he hopes you get back up on your feet quickly."

"Good. Thanks, dear. I was thinking about where we'd head after I get a couple of months of physical therapy under my belt. How do you feel about going home for the holidays? We could stay in that new RV Park overlooking Copano Bay that was just getting ready to open up for business when we were in Texas for Reggie's fiftieth birthday."

"I think that's a wonderful idea. It'd be nice to see all our friends, and to spend some more time with Reggie. We'd also get an opportunity to get to know her new husband better," I said.

"Yeah, I thought of that too. Other than at their wedding and the few days we were down there in May, we've hardly had a chance to speak with Milo. Regina's over the moon about him, so he must be a pretty terrific guy. I'm just glad she finally found someone she loves after her bitter divorce fifteen years ago."

Rip's expression took on a sorrowful look. He'd been close to our first son-in-law and was really torn up when he and Reggie grew apart and split over irreconcilable differences.

I hated to see Rip's chipper mood darken, so I changed the subject. "I'm looking forward to enjoying some sunshine this winter. So, as far as going home for the holidays, I'm all for it. You'll be able to do more walking if we're in a warmer climate, and that can only be beneficial to having your hip heal well. And, after all, I haven't gotten to cut the rug with my dancing partner for ages."

"I promise you I'll be spinning you around like a top at the Sheets' annual New Year's Eve party," Rip said as he lifted my hand to his lips. "Have I told you lately that I love you, my darling? Being shackled to you for nearly fifty years has been such a pleasure. And once this new hip gets all healed up, I'll be ready for another fifty."

After I assured him I loved him with all my heart too, and that I'd hold him to his promise about dancing with me, he said, "I'm kind of lonely in this hard, uncomfortable bed all by myself. If I can move over without screaming bloody murder, would you join me up here until the nurse chases you out when visiting hours are over?"

"I'd be happy to," I replied. I carefully crawled up onto the bed, making sure I didn't jar Rip's legs. I snuggled up next to him, and asked, "Would you do me a favor? Don't be so darn hard-headed next time you have a problem that can be easily fixed with all this incredible medical technology they're continually improving. It hurts me to see you in such pain."

"Okay, dear, I promise! But only if you do me a favor in return."

"What's that?"

"Remind me in the future not to take a cane to a gunfight!"

The End

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Want more from Jeanne Glidewell?

Page forward for an excerpt from

Rip Tide

A Ripple Effect Cozy Mystery

Book Two

Excerpt from

Rip Tide

A Ripple Effect Cozy Mystery

Book Two

by

Jeanne Glidewell

"Fishy, fishy in the brook, come and get on daddy's hook," my husband, Clyde "Rip" Ripple said, as he pretended to cast a heavy duty fishing rod in Tackle Town, a popular sporting goods store in our hometown of Rockport, Texas. I don't think he had any idea how ridiculous he looked when he set the invisible hook on an imaginary fish. When Rip started pretending to reel in a large catch, which was clearly putting up quite a fight, I had to walk away so it wasn't obvious to other shoppers that he was my husband.

After he'd apparently landed the "whooper" successfully, he walked over and placed two identical rod and reel combos in our basket.

"I can't wait to catch a big redfish," he said excitedly.

"Oh, wasn't that what you just caught in the bait bucket aisle? I didn't see you measure it, honey. Are you sure it was of legal size?"

"Oh, good grief! I almost forgot I need to get a couple of those stick-on measuring tapes to apply to our rods. Thanks for reminding me."

"Seriously? I can't wait to see what a $117.29 fish looks like!" I replied.

"What are you talking about?"

"We're buying fishing licenses, expensive rod and reels—"

"I wouldn't want a trophy red to get away because we were using inferior equipment."

"Hand-held nets and neoprene waders—"

"Milo said they like to get out and wade for redfish in the shallows of Aransas and Copano Bays, and we wouldn't want to have to sit in the boat feeding bait to the crabs while Milo and Cooper are catching keeper fish right and left."