A Run for Love (12 page)

Tori crawled out of bed and made her way to the china bowl on the floor in the corner. Braced on her knees, she held her hair back as her stomach heaved. Finished, she sat back on her heels and took a deep breath. A refreshing drink from the glass of water on the dresser restored her. After rinsing her mouth, she washed her hands and face and pulled on her clothes.

She glanced out the darkened window. No sunlight yet. Soft predawn shadows held the room captive. The outline of Jesse’s body, arms and legs flung out, hair falling over his forehead, brought a smile to her lips. As she stood there, a giant wave of fatigue washed over her. If only she could crawl back into bed alongside her husband’s warm body. Just a few more minutes of sleep. Instead, she grabbed her shoes, then crept out of the room.

She yawned as she walked down the hallway. If Jesse would only stop trying to run her life, they would get on a lot better. In a few months, she wouldn’t be able to work at all. Her stomach clenched at what the school board would do when they discovered her pregnancy. Expectant mothers were not allowed to teach. In fact, she was lucky they hadn’t fired her when she married, since they didn’t approve of married teachers, either. Such stupid rules! What was a woman to do, starve to death?
No, that’s where husbands come in. Ha! Depend on a man? Not me.

Tori entered the children’s house. Eerie shadows emerged into well-known objects as she lit lamps. She assembled ingredients for cookies as thoughts turned to Jesse’s suggestion of a doctor visit. Another example of him trying to take control.

If she visited Dr. Hendricks, the whole town would know of her pregnancy. When Jesse laughed and pointed out the whole town would know in a few months anyway, it angered her.

After she placed the first batch of cookies in the oven, she poured a cup of coffee and strolled to the front window. She closed her eyes and tipped her head back. The sun rising above McCarren’s Mercantile warmed her face, bringing a sense of peace and contentment. When she opened her eyes, there stood old Abe McCarren, unlocking the front door. Other merchants arrived, amid cries of ‘morning.’

As much as she hated to rely on Jesse for the children’s needs, at least with his law practice flourishing, money would not be a problem when she stopped working. Although Guthrie boasted over eighty lawyers, Jesse’s reputation as a smart and fair attorney brought lots of business to his door. Most days he arrived in the office right at dawn, and dragged himself home after dark. Regardless of his work schedule, he always met her outside the school every day and insisted they go to The Café for a break.

A small smile twitched her lips
. I’m going to drown from all the tea he’s pouring down my throat.

Her head jerked as the back door opened. Jesse stood there, glowering.

“Why didn’t you wake me before you left?”

Maybe so I wouldn’t have to listen to your complaints?

“You looked too comfortable.” She shrugged, moving into the kitchen. She quickly removed one batch of cookies from the oven, then slid another in.

She peeked at him from lowered eyelids. He must have thrown his clothes on and walked out the door. But Lord, he looked good. His brown wavy hair dusted his eyebrows. He needed a haircut. Yesterday’s beard shadowed his face. His open shirt hung outside his trousers, above bare feet. Her tongue itched to lick the area of his exposed chest, swirl down the stripe of hair that disappeared at his waist like an arrow. Heat rose to her face, and her stomach fluttered.

“You look tired.” He took her chin in his hand, examining her face.

Not again.

“I’m fine.” She pulled her head from his grasp and continued to work.

He crossed his arms over a muscled chest and leaned against the wall. “Yes, a flushed face and dark circles. Always a sign of blooming health.”

“Jesse, stop fussing.” She took a deep breath to calm herself and wiped sticky hands on her apron. Smirking, she picked up a cookie and shoved it between his lips. “Here, keep your mouth busy.”

“Ouch, that’s hot.” He took the cookie out of his mouth and waved it at her. “You are very stubborn.”

“If you weren’t always insisting I do things your way, I wouldn’t have to resist, so therefore
you’re
stubborn.” So there!

He hesitated, as though considering whether to say something more, then, shaking his head, he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and left. She watched him go, regret filling her. They could have a satisfying marriage if only he. . .
Oh, what’s the point? He’s too stubborn.

The brown and white Palomino shook his head and splashed red muddy water as Jesse guided him and the carriage to the railroad warehouse, where everyone gathered for the church social. Tori shivered and pulled her coat closer. Where had summer gone? Winter seemed anxious to make an appearance, even though the calendar said October. A few brown leaves dangled from trees, and soon this last evidence of autumn would join the others on the ground to be trampled, or blown away with the wind.

The evening brought with it a torrential rainstorm common to Oklahoma Territory. Jesse did his best to get them both to the dance without getting too wet, but they still arrived damp and chilled. Temperatures in October could be either warm or downright cold. Tonight seemed to be one of the latter.

The ladies had worked hard decorating the vast space to look festive. Ticket sales would raise a considerable amount of money toward the Fellowship Hall building.

Tori sneezed as they hurried into the warehouse. Jesse ushered her to one of the stoves, and she settled into a chair. A fresh log snapped and crackled and emitted heat for several feet. He relieved her of the basket of cookies gripped between her cold red fingers, silently chastising herself for not wearing the gloves he’d suggested.

Truth be known, she would have preferred to stay home. Images of a warm cup of hot chocolate, a glowing fireplace, and a comfortable chair brought tears to her eyes. Jesse, rubbing her feet, holding her close to his warmth. Was she coming to depend too much on him?

She’d risen as usual before the sun. Soon she would have to cut back. Mrs. Bonner had found someone to do her baking. Since she didn’t show much, the school board hadn’t discovered her secret and fired her yet, but it would happen any time. They’d already told her when another teacher was found, she would be replaced since she had a husband to support her now.

So tired of being tired, it pained her that her stubbornness had built such a wall between her and Jesse. They hardly spoke anymore without arguing. Her stubborn streak got in the middle of their relationship. Why did she do things against her own best interests to spite him? Just so he wouldn’t think he could tell her what to do? How he put up with it, she didn’t know.

Her eyes filled when she spotted Jesse bringing her a cup of hot cider just as the small band tuned up. Henry and Hank Butler, twins right down to the mole on their left cheek, provided the music for the crowd, along with the barbershop owner, Stephen Johns.

“You all right, honey?” Jesse frowned and peered into her eyes as he sat alongside her.

“Yes. Just tired.”

His lips thinned. “When are you going to cut down your hours? You promised, Tori. Mrs. Bonner has a replacement for you.”

“And how would you know that?” Her face warmed as the blood rushed upward.

“Because I asked her. Isn’t that what you wanted to hear? So you can tell me again I’m trying to run your life, and interfering where I’m not wanted? I’m trying to do what’s best for my wife and unborn baby!”

Her anger deflated like a child’s balloon. How wonderful if she could lie her head in his lap and sleep. Feel his soothing hands running through her hair. She swallowed several times, trying to keep the sobs from escaping. When she wearily shook her head, Jesse leapt from the chair and stalked across the room, his movements stiff as he joined a group of men who were gathered around the punchbowl.

Tori rubbed her stomach in small circles as she gazed at Jesse across the room. What was the matter with her?

Thanks a lot, Aunt Martha. You’ve helped me turn a promising marriage into a battle zone.

The music began, and a few couples entered the dance area. Jesse had his back to her. She sighed. Dancing didn’t score high on her list anyway.

He’d claimed one battle when they came to an agreement about their living arrangements. Once settled in Jesse’s house, he’d hired carpenters to expand the space. They would soon have a decent kitchen, a real parlor, and two extra bedrooms.

The children were doing fine on their own. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. Jesse had been right, having them right next door wasn’t much different than living in the same house. They all shared a meal at the end of the day in the children’s kitchen, the only place they could all be together. Then she stayed to help with homework before dragging herself off to Jesse’s house to collapse in bed. Dawn found her back again to do the baking.

Rubbing her sore back, she leaned forward, stretching her muscles. Maybe she and Jesse could duck out early. She didn’t feel good, and her back pained her more than when she sat down.

Pastor Dave’s wife, Jane, joined her in the next chair, her face glowing from a vigorous dance. “I haven’t seen much of you lately. In fact, only a few times since your wedding back in July.”

“I’ve been busy. You know, the children, school.” She attempted a smile, but her back muscles tensed, and she couldn’t afford the effort.

“Well, don’t work so hard. You look tired, if I may say so.” Jane patted her hand.

Several minutes later, as she talked with Jane, a sharp pain started in her back and raced toward her belly. She broke into a cold sweat and doubled over.

“Oh dear. Are you all right?” Jane grabbed her hand, rubbing it briskly.

“Yes, I think so. Just a slight twinge.”

“I noticed you’re in the family way, but since you or Jesse haven’t said anything, I was reluctant to congratulate you.”

Stunned, Tori regarded her. How many other people in town guessed her condition? Here she avoided the doctor so gossip wouldn’t start, and maybe everyone already knew!

She took out her handkerchief and wiped her forehead. “Yes, well, we thought to wait a while before making any sort of announcement.” The pain eased and she took a deep breath. Within minutes, another pain gripped her, and again she doubled over. This time she whimpered and grabbed Jane’s hand.

“Dear, I think I better fetch Jesse,” Jane said, staring anxiously at her.

“No, I’m sure I’m okay.” Tori released Jane’s hand. Another pain, sharper than the others, clenched her belly and brought tears to her eyes. Jane left her chair and hurried across the room, pulling Jesse away from the circle of men to whisper in his ear. He turned a ghastly white and strode across the floor in a few lengthy steps.

“What’s the matter, honey?” He hunkered down in front of her.

“I don’t know. I’m having awful—” She stopped as another pain hit her. “—pains,” she gasped. Sweat beaded her forehead. Pain, like a knife ripping through her middle, held her captive. She took deep breaths, but the agony didn’t ease up.
Oh God, what’s happening to me?

He grazed her cheek with the back of his hand, and it came away wet. “Just sit here, and don’t move. I’ll get Dr. Hendricks.”

Too scared to argue, she nodded as Jesse raced away. He returned a few minutes later with the doctor.

“Jesse tells me you’re having some stomach problems, Mrs. Cochran. Did you eat anything unusual today?”

Tori shook her head, moaning as another pain pierced through her.

“She’s pregnant,” Jesse announced, sitting alongside her. He took her hand and squeezed, while his other hand rubbed circles on her back.

The doctor bent on one knee beside her. “How far along?”

“About four months.” Tori’s voice shook.

The doctor frowned. “Let’s get her to my office.”

Jesse scooped her into his arms and headed for the door. The commotion caused most of the guests to stare in their direction, and the band to cease playing.

The rain had stopped, but slippery mud coated the ground. Dr. Hendricks walked ahead of them to his own buggy. Jesse settled Tori in their carriage and hurried to the other side. As he tucked the blanket around her knees, the street light emphasized the bright red stain on his sleeve. Her vision tunneled and bright lights danced in her eyes, right before she passed out.

Jesse worked off his excess energy pacing in the doctor’s parlor. He rubbed the back of his neck with shaky fingers, closing his eyes each time Tori moaned. Deep gulps of air didn’t slow the pounding of his heart.

At one point, he dropped his head in his hands when she screamed in pain. It took a great deal of control not to bust down the door to be with her. Although not an expert on pregnancy, the sounds emanating from the other room and the blood on his sleeve could only mean one thing.

He had intended to talk to the doctor, to make sure making love wouldn’t harm the baby, but with his heavy work load, and Tori’s adamant insistence that no one know about her pregnancy, he’d kept putting it off.

The clock chimed twelve. The dance was over two hours ago. Dr. Hendricks came out from his office. Tension lines etched his mouth and brow, and his normally healthy skin carried a gray pallor. Grief-stricken, Jesse’s lungs couldn’t hold air, and he covered his face with shaky palms.

Doc Hendricks placed his hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, son. We lost the baby.”

“Tori?” Jesse wiped at his damp eyes and glanced at the older man.

“She’s in some pain, but she’ll be all right.”

“This is my fault.” He groaned and collapsed onto the couch.

“It’s nobody’s fault.” The doctor sat alongside him. “These things happen, most often to women having their first baby. Think of it as God’s way of preventing a weak life. Babies who are lost in early pregnancy are not generally strong enough to live a normal life. You must view this as a blessing. You and Tori are both young and healthy.” He smiled at the last words.

“You don’t understand.” Jesse looked at the kind, older doctor. “I wanted to talk to you. Find out if we could continue to, you know...while Tori’s pregnant. But I never did.”

The doctor chuckled. “I’m not making light of your question, but many young husbands need to be reassured on this. The miscarriage didn’t happen because of activities enjoyed by newly married couples.” He winked at him, then grew serious. “You’re going to have to be strong for Tori. She’s very upset, and the last thing she needs is to see you blaming yourself for something only God controls.”

Jesse rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“Your wife can go home any time. But she needs bed rest for at least a week. She’s lost a considerable amount of blood, so make sure she drinks lots of liquids and eats nourishing food. Send for me if she develops a fever, but I think she’ll be fine.” He stood and squeezed Jesse’s shoulder.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. I’ll leave some blankets for you. She’ll need to keep warm on the ride home. Now, put a smile on your face, and go see your wife. She needs you to be strong.”

Jesse entered the dimly lit room. Tori laid on her back with her eyes closed, her small, delicate hands over her now flat stomach. He cringed at her swollen eyes.

“Hi, honey. How do you feel?”

“Tired.” She didn’t open her eyes.

He reached for her hand. Ice cold. “Are you in much pain?”

“Some. The worst is over.”

He had to bend to hear her whispers. Not sure what to do next, he leaned over and gently kissed her on the forehead. “Dr. Hendricks says you can go home.” When she didn’t answer, he moved back. “I’ll go get the carriage ready with blankets the doc left me, and I’ll be right back for you.”