Alice had left the shop light burning low and it shone dimly through the glass in the door and the windows. Richard Adamson’s hair was ruffled. He looked as though he’d been running. There was something vulnerable about him that caused Kate’s heart to beat faster.
‘I’ve been . . . I’ve been walking,’ she said. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I wanted to see you. I didn’t like the way we parted just now.’
‘The way we parted?’
‘Without a word.’
‘But where’s Miss Travers?’
‘Gone home. Her carriage was waiting.’
‘So you put her into it and set off after me?’
‘Yes.’
Poor Caroline, Kate thought. But she said, ‘Just because I didn’t say goodnight?’
‘I wanted to know why.’
‘For goodness’ sake!’ She allowed herself a flash of temper. ‘You were there with your fiancée—’
‘She’s not . . . I mean I don’t—’
‘Please don’t say any more. I left quietly because there was no point in my staying. I met Miss Travers by chance. I was on the beach and Prince came racing up to me, otherwise she would probably have ignored me. Where is Prince, by the way? Did you send him home with Miss Travers?’
Richard laughed softly. ‘No, I didn’t. He’s there in the doorway – look.’ He moved aside so that Kate could see the faithful dog lying across the door and looking up at them with interest. It was as if he knew they were talking about him. Kate couldn’t help smiling and the tension that had lain between her and Richard eased a little.
‘Kate,’ he said softly.
She turned her head to find he was staring at her intently. ‘Yes?’ she whispered.
‘I . . . I want to see more of you.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t know how to say it. I want to come courting, I suppose. Would you consider spending time with me?’
‘No!’ Her response was louder than she intended and Prince gave a bark of surprise.
‘Why not?’ Richard asked.
‘
Why not
? I’m the daughter of a fisherman. My family live in a humble cottage. You – well, you live in a big house and you own a fleet of trawlers.’
‘My family once lived in one of those cottages, too. My forebears were fishermen just like your family. We’re the same kind of people, Kate.’
If only, she thought. If only Richard still lived in that cottage on the cliff top, a fisherman like his forebears. Then it might have been possible. But now . . .
‘Maybe we are,’ she said. ‘But you have moved on. What you are doing now is destroying a way of life. The way of life my family still clings to.’
‘I can’t turn the clock back, Kate. I’m not the only man to own steam trawlers. I’ve said I’ll do all I can to help the men of the village. I can’t help it if they won’t accept my offer.’
‘I know.’
‘And, as far as I can see, you are already at odds with your family. You’ve told me you can’t go back. Would it be any worse if you married me?’
‘Married!’ Kate couldn’t believe her ears. The man she’d thought could never be hers wanted to marry her.
‘Of course. What else did you think I meant? I want you to be my wife. I think far too highly of you to make you my mistress.’
‘You shouldn’t!’
‘Shouldn’t what?’
‘Think highly of me.’
‘Why ever not?’
‘Because I’m not what you think I am.’
Richard smiled. ‘And what do I think you are?’
She stared at him, unable to answer.
‘I’ll tell you what I think. You’re beautiful, clever, courageous – perhaps a little quick-tempered but that’s because you’re a woman of spirit. And I adore what you are. I’m not a fool. I know there will be difficulties but we’re both strong enough to overcome them, aren’t we?’
‘Yes. I mean no . . . I
can’t
marry you.’ ‘Of course you can.’ Richard took hold of her shoulders. He pulled her close.
‘No . . . please don’t . . .’
Kate closed her eyes as his face came nearer. She ought to have stepped back, turned her head, but she did not have the will. His kiss was gentle, questioning, persuasive. But as soon as he sensed her response the kiss became more passionate. Her cloak fell open as she raised her hands to grasp his shoulders. He slipped his own arms inside the cloak so that he could hold her even closer. She gave herself completely to the pleasure of the moment. Then the spell was broken by the jangling of the shop bell followed by a yelp of pain from Prince.
They sprang apart. The shop door had opened and someone had stepped out and trodden on the dog.
‘Stupid beast!’ an angry female voice exclaimed. It was Susan Armstrong.
‘Here, boy,’ Richard said and Prince limped forward. Richard crouched down to soothe his pet. ‘There, there,’ he said, as if to a child. ‘No bones broken, I think.’
‘Mebbes the dog is all right but I nearly came a cropper. What a shock I got!’ Susan said angrily.
Richard straightened up. ‘I’m very sorry, Mrs Armstrong,’ he said. ‘My fault entirely; not the dog’s.’
Susan stepped out of the doorway. The light from the nearest street lamp revealed her cross face. But there was something else in her eyes, Kate thought. Prurient speculation. She saw the way the woman was looking at Richard and then at her. What had she seen? Kate’s heart was still pounding with the fright she’d received but she thought that she and Richard had reacted quickly enough to the sound of the bell. That blessed bell.
‘And what was the animal doing in the shop doorway in the first place?’ Susan asked. ‘
And
, if I might ask, what are you doing here, Mr Adamson?’
‘I wanted to see that Miss Lawson had got home safely,’ he said.
Kate supposed that wasn’t an outright lie.
‘Why should you do that?’ Susan asked.
‘Miss Lawson has been for a walk with my friend Miss Travers.’
‘Miss Travers was out walking at this time of night?’
‘She was exercising my dog. The two young women met on the beach and they may have stayed out longer than they intended. As I said, I just wanted to make sure Miss Lawson—’
‘Got home safely. I heard you the first time.’ Susan paused abruptly as if she had just remembered that she ought to be polite to the gentleman who had found a job for her husband. ‘Well,’ she said, and her tone was less combative. ‘She’s here and you can see that she’s safe, so, if you don’t mind, Mr Adamson, she’d better get inside and see if my mother needs her help with anything.’
‘Of course. Goodnight, Miss Lawson.’
‘Goodnight, Mr Adamson,’ Kate said equally decorously. We have become play actors, she thought, all for the sake of propriety and Susan Armstrong.
‘Oh – Miss Lawson?’ Richard said as she was about to enter the shop.
She turned to face him. ‘Yes?’
‘Will you think about what I said? Will you consider it?’
‘No, Mr Adamson. It’s quite impossible.’
She glanced at Susan and saw the woman’s frown as she no doubt tried to make sense of what had been said. Let her make of it what she will, Kate thought, and she entered the shop and closed the door before Richard could speak further.
Kate had lain awake so long that the stone water bottle had lost its heat. She could have risen and boiled a kettle on the fire but she hadn’t the will. Her limbs were cold but that was nothing to the ache of regret and longing that had taken over her heart.
She had shed no tears. There was no point in crying for the moon. That’s what her great-grandmother used to tell her when she was a little girl and wanted something she couldn’t have.
And she couldn’t have Richard Adamson – there was no question of that. But no one would ever know what it had cost her to turn him away.
Chapter Twenty
When Kate went down to the stockroom for her breakfast the next morning she found Alice sitting on one of the upturned boxes next to the tea chest they used for a table. The shopkeeper had her head in her hands and was weeping without making any sound. Only her shoulders, moving up and down convulsively, revealed her distress.
‘Alice . . . what is it? Is Mr Willis . . . has he . . .’
The older woman raised her head. Her face was streaked with tears, her expression bleak. ‘No, pet. Charlie is still with us, it’s just that very soon I’m going to have to say goodbye to him and I don’t know how. We’ve never been apart since the day we married. I really love the man, you know.’
‘I know you do. And he loves you.’
‘That’s part of what’s grieving me. I know it’s selfish but I can’t help thinking that there’ll be nobody who cares so much for me when Charlie is gone.’
‘But you have Susan and your grandchildren,’ Kate said.
‘Aye, that’s a blessing, but they have their own life, don’t they? Oh, I know Susan will look after me. She’s a good daughter – and I’m sure she loves me. But that’s not the same as the love of your own man, is it?’
‘No, I suppose not.’
‘There’s no suppose about it, Kate. Take my word for it. You’ve had a hard knock losing Jos, but a bonny lass like you will find another man one day, I’m sure of it. And if you’re lucky enough to get a good man and be happily married like I’ve been, you’ll know what price you have to pay.’
‘Price?’
‘Aye. The price for such happiness is that one day one of you will be left alone in this vale of tears.’ Alice lifted the edge of her pinafore and wiped her eyes. She smiled sadly. ‘But hark at me, talking like the parson. Now sit down and have your breakfast before that porridge gets cold.’
Kate took her place on one of the boxes and poured them both a cup of tea. They had got into the habit of taking breakfast together in the stockroom and, although Alice never ate much more than a slice of toast, she always made sure that there was something more substantial for Kate. This morning was no exception. There was a bowl of porridge waiting for her, still gently steaming, a rack of buttered toast and a jar of honey.
Alice sipped her tea and kept quiet while Kate ate her porridge, but when Kate put the bowl aside and reached for a piece of toast she said, ‘I’m glad you’re here, lass. And I don’t just mean because of the shop; it’s good for me to have someone to talk to like this. I’m very grateful.’
‘I’m the one who should be grateful,’ Kate said. ‘You’ve taken me in, given me a job.’
‘Well, we’re both lucky beggars, then, aren’t we?’ Alice said as she rose from the table. ‘Now I’ll clear the pots and you’d best get the shop open – in fact I can hear someone knocking, can’t you? Some improvident soul who hasn’t kept a bit bread back for breakfast and will want a loaf before it’s even been delivered from the baker, no doubt. Some folk never learn.’
‘Or it might be the baker’s delivery man,’ Kate said. ‘I think we’ve sat here longer than usual.’
But it wasn’t the delivery man. It was Susan who was knocking impatiently on the shop door. When Kate let her in she scowled and pushed her aside as she hurried in.
‘About time,’ she said. ‘Lazing in bed no doubt after your shenanigans last night.’
‘Shenanigans?’
‘Your walk with Mr Adamson.’
‘It was Miss Travers I was walking with.’
‘So Mr Adamson said.’
‘Are you saying that you don’t believe him?’ Kate’s gaze was cool but challenging.
Susan backed down. ‘I’m not going to stand here arguing with a shop assistant,’ she said. ‘Especially not when you’ve opened late. My poor mother—’
‘What about your poor mother?’ Alice had come through to the shop and she stood at the other side of the counter looking at her daughter questioningly.
‘I was just reprimanding Kate for opening up late. I was about to say that my mother depended on her and she should not take advantage of you.’
Alice shook her head. ‘You’ve got it all wrong, pet. It’s good of you to worry about me but it was my fault that we opened late today. We lingered over breakfast because I needed a bit company. In fact Kate is a great comfort to me. I don’t know how I would manage without her.’
Susan was stung. ‘Then I’ll just turn round and go home, shall I? You obviously don’t need your own daughter.’
‘Don’t talk like that. Of course I need you. My heart’s glad at the very sight of you. Now come on through and see your dad. He’s just woken up. Come and gladden his eyes, too.’