A Second Chance at Love: A Hometown Hero Series Novel (14 page)

Dean swore and turned back to the window. “I knew she loved you. When we got married. She never stopped loving you.”

“Says you,” Harrison contradicted with a quiet intensity.

“Yes, says me. Who better than me to tell you how she feels? I had front row seats to the whole thing. So yeah, says me.”

Harrison hated himself for being pulled into the conversation. “So why marry her?”

“It suited both of us,” he said simply. He moved across the room and sat in the spare chair. “Harrison, I’m gay.”

Harrison had no problems with that, whatsoever. His reaction didn’t come from a bad place, it came from a shocked-out-of-his-seat place. “What?”

“Gay as the day is long,” he said with a grim smile. “Known it all my life. Unfortunately, when you’re the congressman from a conservative party and an even more conservative state, it’s not so easy to go public.”

Harrison’s chest felt like it was about to burst. “You’re gay.”

“Surely am.”

“Does Maddie know?”

Now, Dean laughed. “I thought you were supposed to be some hot shot cop?”

“I’m just having trouble wrapping my head around what this means?”

“Yes. Mads knows. She knew from almost the minute I met her. She needed Kenneth to give her some space, and to think she was being his good little girl. I saw an opportunity and decided to exploit it. We married as friends, and we lived as friends.”

“You love someone else,” Harrison said with a groan, shaking his head. “Maddie told me that.”

“David,” he nodded. “David is getting pretty sick of the way I’m in the closet.”

“So you’re going to come out?”

Harrison nodded. “Should have had the guts to do it years ago. Congress has come a long way in a decade, anyways.”

“So Maddie doesn’t… I mean… you guys…”

“We’re friends. Best friends. And I do love her, buddy. And frankly, I’m not happy with the way you’ve slammed her out in the cold. I know she seems like she’s got self-control made of diamond dust, but she’s breaking now.”

That familiar sense of rolling nausea assailed Harrison. “I thought she married you for prestige. Because she was ashamed of me.”

“You thought wrong. You’re wrong about all of it.”

“I’m not wrong about her leaving me,” Harrison pointed out, but his conviction was waning.

“Yes, but you don’t know why. And maybe you never will. The only choice you have to make is whether or not you want to keep going over something that happened in the past, or whether you want to focus on the future.”

Harrison sat, staring at the peeling wallpaper across from him, for what felt like an age. Long after Dean had left, with stern words of encouragement, Harrison sat and stared.

Madeline’s marriage had been a sham.

That night hadn’t been an affair. According to Dean, their marriage was very much an open one. But she hadn’t been with anyone else. No one besides Harrison.

He swore, as he stood, and grabbed his jacked and keys.

“Rhonda? I’m on the radio.”

He put the siren on and sped through town, past the old drive-in screen and the disused barn that sat high on the hill. As the ranch came into sight, he switched the lights off and slowed to a more sedate pace.

A woman answered the door almost immediately. He didn’t recognise her.

“Is Madeline in?” He asked, looking beyond her to the hallway.

“Maddie! The law’s caught up with you,” the woman laughed kindly. “Hi. I’m Emily. Madeline’s sister-in-law. Is she in trouble?” Emily asked the question with no expectation that Madeline would ever have done anything illegal.

“She will be if she doesn’t get her ass down here,” Harrison muttered, earning a curious look from the dark haired woman.

“What is it, Em?” Madeline padded into sight, barefoot, but still looking like a blonde Jackie Kennedy, in a cream skirt, peach silk blouse and a string of pearls.

Harrison’s eyes narrowed.

“Harrison!” Maddie froze at the bottom of the stairs, her blue eyes round in her face. “What… what are you doing here?”

He compressed his lips. “I’d like a word, thanks.”

She nodded, brushing past Emily as though she weren’t even there. Harrison put a hand in her back and propelled her swiftly away from the house. “Where are we going?”

“Get in my car,” he said firmly, opening the door for her, not able to look at her eyes.

“Where are we going?” She repeated firmly.

“My house.”

She sat in the passenger seat, staring ahead. She felt numb. The last twenty minutes had been the strangest of her life, and now Harrison was here, as though she’d conjured him up out of her terrifying predicament.

“Why?” She asked, turning to look at him.

He stared at her long and hard and then made a sound of annoyance. “Put your seatbelt on.” He reached for his radio. “Rhonda, get Tompkins to cover me tonight. I’ve got a… personal matter to sort.”

“Right-o, Boss.”

He drove back through town without once looking at Madeline. He couldn’t think straight. He was so angry with her he felt it like a physical force.

“Where’s Ivy?” She asked, as he unlocked the door and led her inside. The house was dark. He flicked a few switches, making it glow with warmth.

“She stays at Diana’s on nights when I’m working.”

“I see.”

“When were you going to tell me that your so called husband is gay, Madeline?” He cut to the chase, thrusting his hands in his pockets and staring across at her.

Madeline blinked in surprise. She quickly schooled her features into a blank mask. “What do you mean? Why do you say that?”

“Cut the act, honey. Dean came to see me.”

Madeline closed her eyes. “I told him not to do that.”

“Why?” Harrison hissed impatiently. “I’m getting pretty sick of all the damned secrecy with you.”

“Yeah, well, that wasn’t my secret, and it’s not your business. Dean gets to decide who knows what about him. If you and I can’t sort our mess out without outside help, then it’s a pretty good sign that we’re not meant to be together, wouldn’t you say?”

His anger increased, but so too did his desire. He took a step back, as if to physically resist her for as long as he could. “How can you say that?” He asked. “Look at what I saw. You left me, and within a month were engaged to some up and coming politico. How could I have ever competed with him? You moved so far away from me, there was no way I could get you back.” His feet moved of their own accord, taking him across the floor. His hands also operated without his permission, running through her hair and down her back. He gripped her shoulders. “I was so angry, Madeline. I was so angry with you.”

She swallowed convulsively. “But you married Sally. Or would have.”

“Yeah, I would have,” he agreed. “And one day, I would have learned to love her, I’m sure.”

Madeline shook her head. “You didn’t love her?”

“I… cared for her. But no. Sal and I got drunk together about a year after you left town. Sort of the anniversary of losing you.” He shook his head. “I don’t even remember the night, but, that’s how I got Ivy.”

Madeline felt a sense of something strange trickle down her spine. “You proposed.”

“Of course I did. I wasn’t going to have my mom’s story be repeated. I did like Sal. I liked her a lot. And you were as far away from me as you could ever be. I told myself that I’d moved on, and that what was missing from my relationship with Sally would grow, with time.”

Madeline’s fingertips were tingling with the need to touch him. She lifted them and put her hands on either side of his hips. Immediately she felt a shock of warmth flood through her.

“When she died, I felt like the worst man on earth. I had done that to her. She got pregnant because I had wanted to get drunk and screw you out of my mind.” His expression was thick with tortured remembering. “And she died. Because of me.”

“Oh, Harrison,” Madeline shook her head. There were no words she could think of that would soften his pain, and so she wrapped her arms around his back and kissed him, softly, on his lips.

He pushed her backwards, against the hardness of the wall, straddling her with his strong legs. He pushed at her blouse, loosening it from the waistband of her skirt, so that his fingers could connect with bare skin. She groaned as his hands went higher, to the lace cups of her bra, to run across her taut nipples.

“Harrison,” she groaned, her hands pulling at his belt, until it came loose, then working at his jeans. She needed him with an intensity she had never known possible. It was fierce and desperate and entirely all consuming. He stepped out of his pants at the same time that he lifted her skirt and pulled her lacy thong down.

He entered her with a low, deep growl of relief. Madeline wrapped her legs around his waist, and ran her hands through his hair, as he held her back against the wall and moved inside her. Her whole body seemed to pulse with recognition and understanding. There was nowhere else on earth she wanted to be. Nowhere else she could be. She needed him, and always would.

They exploded on a simultaneous wave of sensation, crashing through the layers of time together. Their past and future seemed to meld together, forming only the present. And it was spectacular. Filled with pleasure and promise. Madeline’s fingers dug deep into his shoulders, her body shaking with the strength of release he had evoked.

“I love you,” she whispered in his ear, as her breathing slowly returned to normal.

Harrison was silent. His mind felt like it was about to burst. His whole body was burning alive. As Dean had said, Harrison simply had to decide which mattered more to him. The past, or the future. But for Harrison, it was a bigger question. Would he be stupid to reach for a future with Madeline if he didn’t heed the warnings of the past?

He lowered her to the ground carefully, his expression unreadable. “I needed you,” he said with a shake of his head.

Madeline felt a small prick of danger. “You needed me?”

Harrison reached for his jeans and stepped into them. He wanted to shout. He wanted to run a marathon. He wanted to rail against the situation he found himself in. He was standing outside his dream house, looking in at what he wanted, unable to break through the glass. “What do you want me to say Madeline?”

She looked at him in shock. What had just happened to them? What was going on? That had been great sex, but it wasn’t just that. It was so much more. “Harrison, you’re pushing me away,” she said, reaching for his arm and pulling him to face her.

“I know,” he said, running a hand through his fair hair. “God, Maddie, you know I love you, but I just can’t forgive the past.” His voice was tortured. “You know me. You know me better than anyone.”

Madeline nodded, but she didn’t understand. She couldn’t understand how it still wasn’t working out for them.

“So you don’t want me? You don’t want this?” She asked quietly, straightening her clothes with as much dignity as she could muster.

“I do,” he said honestly. “But unless you can explain why you left me in the first place, I think I’d spend the rest of our days punishing you. And that’s not fair on you. I love you too much for that.”

Her eyes ached with the tears that she wouldn’t let fall. “I’m backed into a corner, Harrison.” Her voice broke. “I can’t give you what you need. I can’t explain. If you really love me, you need to let that go. Because I want this. I want this with all my heart.” She sobbed. “We’ve already wasted too much time.”

Harrison stared at her, his heart aching with his love for this woman. “What’s to say you won’t just get up and go the next time you feel like it?” He groaned in annoyance. “It’s not just me now, Madeline. There’s Ivy, too. If you left me, you’d hurt her. I’d be irresponsible if I brought you into our lives, knowing what you’re capable of.”

Madeline nodded, her throat constricted beyond bearing. She had no recourse. He had part of the puzzle. He knew about Dean. And still, he needed more. And she would never, ever betray Diana by revealing that secret. “In that case, perhaps you’d drop me home.”

“Home? The ranch?”

Madeline looked at him bleakly. Where was home? God, her life had become an extreme mess. “For now, I guess,” she said quietly, turning away from him so he wouldn’t see the tears that streaked down her cheeks. She loved Harrison with all her heart. But just like him, she had another life to consider now. The test she’d done right before he’d arrived at the ranch confirmed her suspicions. She was pregnant with Harrison’s baby.

Well, at least she knew how he felt. If she’d told him any earlier, he might have pretended to want something he didn’t, simply to get her to marry him. And no way could she marry him if he didn’t feel exactly the same way she did.

They drove back through town in a stony silence. But the whole way, Madeline’s mind ticked over their predicament, searching for a way out. A way she could keep Diana safe and get everything she wanted, too.

As they neared the ranch, Madeline said, without looking at him, “You know, Harrison, loving someone isn’t something you can put in a neat little box. Sometimes it doesn’t follow the rules, and it doesn’t do what you want it to. But if your feelings are genuine, then you won’t do this.”