A Secret Fate (25 page)

Now Cael was really ready to strike, but also taken aback by Aiden’s boldness. Damn it, the guy had a way with words that almost made him like him. When Aiden continued, Cael could do nothing more than simply stand and listen. “But holy hell, man, you know the woman loves you. And the thing is, if you're so pissed off that nobody told you that you were supposed to love her, let me ask you something. Have you fallen in love with her again?”

Cael swallowed. He was almost certain he had, but he wasn’t about to give Aiden the answer when, until just today, he hadn’t been able to admit it himself.

“Would you have been instantly in love with her if you had been told?” Aiden pressed on. “Think about it. How would you have felt if everyone, including Addison, expected you to have feelings for her and you didn’t? Don't you think it was better that you fell in love on your own rather than someone telling you that’s the way it was supposed to be? I would think the pressure of that would have been too much for anyone to deal with. What if you hadn't fallen back in love? You’d be feeling pretty awkward about things, I would think. That girl is so fucking in love with you, and you’ve been blind to it. Look, I know it's probably a bit unnerving having everyone else know things about you that you can't remember.”

“Look, Cael, Aiden’s right,” Bart proclaimed. “We all thought it best not to force a relationship on you. We did some talking, even spoke to Red about it. He agreed the best way for you to cope with your memory loss was to learn things gradually on your own. Loving someone is tricky business. Not everybody finds that special one. What you and Addie had was special.” Bart placed his hand on Cael’s shoulder, comforting him the way he always did. “But listen, son, do you think you would have been open and accepting of a relationship without the feelings to go with it or the knowledge of its existence if we’d told you? It’s been five years for you. Last thing you remember you were only twenty-five and you know you weren’t ready to settle down then. I know you weren’t.”

Bart had a point. Hell, so did Aiden. Cael glanced at Gerry. “What do you have to say about it?”

Gerry shook his head. “I don’t know. I do know that Addie is family and I love her. I know you and she were happy—giddy most of the time to the point of being sickening. But I know you loved her. The question now is; what are you going to do about it?”

Cael nodded slowly, biting his lower lip, not sure what to say.

“Come on, let’s have that drink.” The four men strolled to the bar and Gerry poured the shots. Cael did some heavy thinking. He had been falling in love with Addison. Why was this so hard to accept? He lifted his glass along with the other three men. “Here’s to women,” Gerry said, grinning. “It’d be hell if we didn’t have them.”

“It must have been very difficult for her, keeping up the ruse,” Cael muttered after setting his glass down, which Gerry promptly filled again.

“It’s been hell on all of us, but yeah, Addie’s taken the brunt of it,” Bart confirmed.

“I should go talk to her. I sort of left her rather abruptly.”

“What else is new with you?” Gerry laughed.

Cael stared at the guy. “No. I mean I walked out, officially, slamming the door on my way.”

Chapter 22

Addie struggled to stand. She’d been on the floor moaning, curled in the fetal position unable to stop the pain. Stabbing bursts shot down from the top of her skull, piercing into her temples. She steadied herself with the armrest of the sofa as another violent pain ran through her head. This was no ordinary migraine. Her head was hot, her fingers tingled as flames ignited in her palms and traveled up her arms. She hadn’t commanded the fire and the flames ignored her mental instructions to fizzle out. Overcome with panic, she tried to breathe, realizing this must be her own variety of an anxiety attack. “Oh great. What else is going to go wrong? Okay. Okay. Breathe,” she told herself. Closing her eyes, she stood with her arms stretched out as far as they could go, and concentrated on her breathing. She opened her eyes, peeked at her arms—still flaming. She couldn’t feel the heat but definitely saw the flames and she couldn’t turn them off.

Was she on fire or was this all part of the anxiety? Whatever was going on, it was a little frightening. She turned around, not sure what to do. If she touched anything, it would no doubt go up in flames and burn the house down, most likely with her inside it. She walked toward the kitchen, tears streaming down her cheeks, but she couldn’t do anything about them with her hands on fire. When she approached the sink to turn on the water, her hand brushed against a dishrag. As the fire crept its way up the rag, the burning cloth fell to the floor. Addie screamed, stomping on the rag like a mad woman.

She managing to put out the flames on the floor but she was still on fire. Unable to move, she sighed and sucked back the sobs. They were only fueling her anxiety.

***

After a couple of shots of whiskey, the tension behind Cael’s eyes dissipated as well as the stiffness in his shoulders. He needed to talk to Addison. He couldn’t remember what they’d had before but it must have been miraculous if he’d asked her to marry him. He still didn’t like the idea that she withheld all their past from him, though, and he had to wonder what else she might be capable of keeping from him.

After materializing outside the beach house, Cael glanced toward the archway, eyed the beautifully manicured lawn spanning the hundred or so yards from the cliff’s edge to the house. Was this his or had he only been staying here with her? Had they purchased it together? There were so many things he needed to know.

He decided it would be better to knock on the door this time rather than just appear inside like the rude son of a bitch he’d been earlier. When there was no answer, he tried again. After a few seconds, he pushed the doorbell button, the little song rang throughout the house, but she still didn’t respond. Her truck was outside so she had to be in there. Christ, she probably didn’t want to talk to him after the way he’d acted.

It was nearing dusk and the late afternoon sky appeared so majestic with the various clouds and the mixture of many different hues of purple and orange. Surreal, almost as if it had been plucked right out of a picture in a Bible.

Where could she be? She promised not to go on any more walks by herself in the dark. Considering the way he’d left, he didn’t think it appropriate to simply materialize inside. Frustrated as all hell, Cael swiped his hand over his hair and stepped to the window to peek in. A fire blared in the fireplace; the candle he had lit earlier still burned in the center of the coffee table, but there was no sign of Addison. Putting his hand against the glass to shield the glare, he was able to get a better look and noticed a flickering glow coming from the kitchen area. He strolled over to the kitchen window and gasped when he saw Addison lit up like a torch. God, that just made his blood curdle at the thought. How did she do that and not get hurt? The other time he’d seen her do it was freaky enough, but this time she was covered from head to toe in flames.

He stood staring for a few moments, wondering when she was going to let the flames subside. She turned toward the window—he started to wave when he knew she saw him, but when he saw her face, her wide eyes filled with fear and tears streaking down her cheeks, he realized something was wrong. He instantly dematerialized from outside and reappeared in the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” he shouted, not sure she could hear him, really not sure what she was feeling or able to do.

“I can’t turn it off.” Her strangled voice reverberated from within the fire.

“Holy shit!” Instinct had him reaching for her.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Okay, okay.” He jumped back a bit when she yelled at him. “What can I do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why can’t you turn it off?”

“Cael, if I knew, I would do it.”

“Okay. Stupid question. Does it hurt?”

“No. I’m just scared.”

“Okay, calm down. Give me a minute to think.”

“I … I think I’m having some sort of anxiety attack or something.”

“Okay,” he said again. Jeez, he sounded like a broken record but he was beginning to panic and didn’t know what else to say or do. “Should I spray you with water?”

“I don’t know. You could try.”

He grabbed the nozzle from the sink, thankful that it had a retractable hose, cranked on the faucet and aimed the sprayer toward Addison. The water spewed out and flowed to the ground just in front of her. “Can you take a couple steps closer? It’s not reaching you.”

She took two steps. The intense heat radiating from her had him wincing and he wanted to back away but he was already up against the counter. He pointed the nozzle at her and water hit the flames on her arms but didn’t put them out, didn’t even make them sizzle. The flames were generated from her mind and he didn’t think any amount of water was going to stop them as long as she was subconsciously controlling them. “Try to think of something pleasant. Maybe that will help.”

She stared at him, shaking her head. “It’s difficult.”

There had to be something he could say to help her calm down. He must have caused this when he yelled at her earlier and stormed out, yanking the door closed so hard. “Addison, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I walked out and slammed the door. Please, baby, please forgive me.”

“I’m sorry too,” she cried. “I never meant to hurt you. I only wanted you to love me again.”

Her confession caught him by surprise, but the one word she’d added at the end, “again.” had him wanting to remember everything so much more, to remember her. But with or without that knowledge, he knew deep down inside how he felt about her and the words came tumbling from his lips before he realized he was speaking aloud. “I do. I do love you. I know I should have told you. We’ve grown so close over the past couple of months. I’ve loved you for a while now. ”

Her eyes flipped up to his, and she blinked, biting down on her lower lip creating an almost angelic vision with the flames dancing around her face.

“Please, baby, calm down. I love you. Do you believe me?”

She nodded, making the flames on her head dance and jiggle.

“Tell me, baby, let me hear you say it.”

“You love me.”

“Yes, I do. I love you, Addison!” he shouted the words. “I love you,” he said more quietly this time. “I love you, I love you. Good God, I love you,” he continued to repeat and gradually, as if someone had turned down the knob on a burner, the flames around Addison’s head dwindled. Slowly the fire on her shoulders sizzled out and down the rest of her body, the same thing happened until there was only a small flame left in her right palm. She fisted her hand and when she opened it back up, the flame was gone. She collapsed into Cael’s arms and he grabbed her on her way down to the floor. Cradling her body in his arms, he carried her to the sofa and laid her down. She stared at him, relief on her face. “Are you okay?” he asked, unable to think of anything else but her safety.

“I don’t know.” She sank back against the pillow and closed her eyes. “I’m so hot and dizzy. My head hurts.”

“I’ll be right back.” Cael hurried to the kitchen and opened the freezer, pleased to see a bag of frozen peas there. Smiling, he snatched it, tossed it around in his hand and grabbed a small towel to wrap around the bag as he walked back to the sofa and Addison. Kneeling on the floor beside her, he placed the wrapped bag of peas on her forehead. “Here, not sure this will help, but it might keep the temperature down.”

“Thank you.”

Seeing her like that in the kitchen had to be the most horrific thing he’d ever experienced. The thought of losing her now that he loved her, knew he loved her beyond any doubt, stabbed him in the chest and he almost couldn’t breathe. He didn’t know what he would have done if she couldn’t have put the flames out. He did know that he wouldn’t have let her die alone. He would have wrapped himself around her, tried to take away the heat. With that revelation, he sat back on his heels and sighed. “Listen, I … I’m sorr …”

“No. You don’t have anything to apologize for. Not a thing. I was wrong for keeping our relationship from you. I should have told you.”

He stared at her, knowing he loved her, but still wanting to know why she did it. There was just a little twinge of doubt in his mind, not about whether he loved her, but whether or not she loved him.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Were you hoping I might not ever find out or remember and therefore you wouldn’t feel obligated to me anymore?”

“What? No! That is further from the truth than you could ever possibly know. You saw what I just went through. Do you think that was because I didn’t want you to love me?”

“No. You’re right. But why, then? If you wanted me to come back and resume our life together, why didn’t you let me know?”

She sat up, holding the peas to her head and gently touched her free hand to his cheek. “Oh, Cael, I wanted you to remember me on your own. I didn't want you to feel pressured into loving me. If you'd known, you would have wanted me to tell you things, things I wanted you to learn unaided and still do. I wanted you to love me just because you do, not because someone told you that you should, or that you did at one time.

“I didn't want you questioning every little thing you did and wondering if I was comparing it to the ‘old’ you. I didn't want to live in the past. I wanted you ... us to make a future, and I wanted you to remember making it, not one you were told about and expected to just accept. That wouldn’t be fair.

“I didn't want you to be somebody you didn't want to be or forced into a love affair you didn’t want. Your memories of us should come from here,” she placed her hand on his heart, then put her other hand over her own heart. “That’s where mine are. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry this all happened and I see now that I should have told you. I had no right to keep things about us from you.”

He sighed, picked up her legs and quickly slid on to the sofa under them. Now, with her legs over his, he chewed his bottom lip, thinking about how he should proceed, wanting so much to make things better. “I think maybe we should start over.”