A Sense of Duty: A Former Navy SEAL Falls in Love and Begins a New Journey with his Private Consulting Company: Dark Horse Guardians (39 page)

~Lara~

Lara realized tonight was the night she could
freely explore and caress every inch of her husband's incredible body. She watched Ben as if spellbound. Although she only caught a glimpse of him naked, the moonlight reflected on his muscled form and Lara could think of nothing but making love to her husband. She longed to pin him on the wet beach sand and make mad passionate love to him. But she had no idea how to go about it. Gazing at Ben stirred a feeling of desire in her that was wild, sensual, and instinctive. She was no longer filled with anxiety. She felt a delightful freedom. Lara moved so she was on top of Ben as he lay on the wet sand. She kissed Ben passionately, her silky hair covered him. Then she kissed his scars, one by one, on his chest, his arms, his torso, and his legs as Ben fell into a trance-like spell of pleasure. "Now, it's my turn…" He traded places with Lara and set about to replicate the tantalizing kisses from head to toe. His hands and lips moved proficiently over her body sensing exactly when to stop and when to move further. Ben exercised patience.

This was Lara's wedding night and it was more enjoyable than she dreamed it would be. When she experienced his intimate French kiss, she knew she belonged to him. She whispered, "I love you." Ben was barely able to control his desire and she was swept away with him. When he expressed his love for her this way, she felt as if she were falling off a cliff. There was no turning back. For the first time in her life, she felt powerless and enjoyed it. For the first time in her life, she wanted to lose control. There was no restraint now. Ben was her husband and she wanted him. Lara took his thick black hair in her hands gently bringing him to her. Lara had never been kissed so pleasurably. Always the gentleman, Ben whispered, "Are you ready?" She exhaled a faint yes. Her long dark hair
surrounded her on the white sand beach in the moonlight. The rest of the night was filled with instinctual pleasures. Ben made love slowly and gently at first, looking into her eyes, reading her mind, fulfilling her needs over and over, delaying his own enjoyment. Finally, she watched as he lost control. They remained entwined in one another's arms for an hour in the wet sand with the warm water washing over them. In bed that night, they made love again. Then, they both slept soundly from sheer physical exhaustion.

The next morning Ben joined Lara in the outdoor shower. French kissing her and moving his soapy hands over her body Lara found herself wanting him
again. Slowly and carefully, he moved her body against the wall and brought her legs gently around him. He brought her body to his and she moved in rhythm with him as rolling waves of pleasure engulfed her. Ben cried out and she felt his body shudder. "Oh god, Lara…" it was all he could manage to say as his breathing was labored and he held her close.  "Oh my god, I love you."

Finishing the most wonderful shower in the world, Ben served her breakfast on the beach. Now in swimsuits, they were lounging on the towel near the waters edge, knowing family and friends would be arriving any time now. Lara was not aware that she was getting sunburned. Ben found her sunglasses, sunscreen, and hat. He slowly applied the sunscreen to Lara's legs and arms. They were sitting face to face on the towel as he dabbed the sunscreen on her face. With his face so close to hers, he sweetly kissed her. The taste of the fresh melon they ate for breakfast was on her lips. Ben softly embraced her, caught up in a sudden urge of passion. Suddenly, there was the sound of car doors closing and Lara realized they had company. Nate and Elvis were yelling, "Last one in the water is a loser!" All of the brothers and their respective wives arrived at one time. As if synchronized, they jumped into the water together, laughing and splashing. Ben's sisters and their husbands joined in, too. Ben's parents sat with Lara's mother and Rusty in chaise lounges on the beach. Ben had arranged for the chef to cook breakfast on the terrace of the bungalow. "Best wedding ever," Ben's brother's shouted from the turquoise water. Lara's mother sighed, "It was so romantic, Lara. Perfect." Ben and Lara jumped into the fray. The women sat on the shoulders of the men tossing a beach ball back and forth. The swimming and laughter was great fun. It seemed they had all become four year olds within a few minutes.

After an hour of boisterous swimming games, breakfast was served on the terrace and the men split off from the women. Lara overheard bits and pieces of the conversation from the men. The gist of their conversation was that most people would think they were crazy because they didn't want to leave Iraq and Afghanistan – they
wanted
to be there – to finish the job. The decision was made to pull out too soon. The U.S. spent trillions building an infrastructure and military bases and soon Iraq and Afghanistan would have the black Al Qaeda flag flying over the U.S. bases. America only served to be the most expensive building contractor on the planet. The military bases filled with equipment too heavy to transport were spectacular and now would be occupied by the enemy. One of the men said, "We gave them a gift all right, but it wasn't the gift of freedom. We built the infrastructure and bases for the Taliban to reunite and fight us with more ferocity." The warriors clearly felt by pulling out early the United States was allowing everything they had accomplished, all of the blood and treasure sacrificed, to be trounced upon by radical Islamists chomping at the bit to rule with their barbaric laws. And, now the dedicated veterans being sent home, that fought so valiantly, losing limbs, suffering from PTSD, and brain injuries, were being pushed aside, waiting in long lines for their well-deserved veteran benefits, medical care or a job. These veterans returned to a 70 percent unemployment rate. And worse, there was a 25 percent suicide rate. F
or every veteran killed by enemy combatants, 25 veterans kill themselves. That's 22 deaths each day, or one every 65 minutes. And it's possible these numbers were being underreported. Not only was integration into civilian life a challenge, t
hese warriors fought for ten years to make progress in Iraq and Afghanistan. It saddened them deeply to see it all trickle away. It was hard to take. She heard Ben say, "Yeah, the real kicker is, President Karzai just let 65 terrorists out of prison.
These are the guys we took months to
capture
. We set up recon on those terrorists for days, weeks. You can bet your ass those vengeful bastards will be coming to the United States to mete out their retribution for that." The group was concerned that the U.S. military was going to be reduced to levels prior to 1942. They clearly felt the number one responsibility of the U.S. government was to
protect American
citizens
, as the Constitution clearly states, but it seemed those in power had their priorities upside down.

Lara spent the day getting to know each and every one of Ben's brothers. She saw Ben in his element, with his unit. She now understood the men he trained with, served with, and fought with. These men were his family. She sat with the wives, as they clustered together to discuss family matters. There was little discussion of their husbands
when it came to their occupations, although the women demonstrated special reverence for these men. In the forefront of Lara's mind she realized that Ben was part of this secret brotherhood and always would be. It wasn't as if he would wake up some morning and move on. There would be days when he would be quiet, sullen, distant. There was a patriotic passion, raging like a storm inside of him. Lara joined the women as they lovingly watched the elite band of warriors once again rough-housing in the surf.

It was unspoken, but the wives had the knowledge that these men had suffered together, beyond what the human spirit was intended to endure. They had medically treated one another, saved each other's lives, killed enemies together, endured recon missions that lasted forty hours barely moving. They had starved together, been sick together; fell into swamps, climbed mountains and broken bones together. On missions, they slept fitfully, often waking to strafing and rocket propelled grenades. As they traveled together, carrying sixty pounds of gear on their bodies, every bump in the road the possibility of being an improvised explosive device. These men were tortured together and cared for one another through parasitic infections and hypothermia and profuse bleeding. They were sandwiched into armored Hummers and Blackhawks not bathing for a week. They shared the inconsolable loss of many brothers, SEAL
s, just like them, on the battlefield. They held their dying brothers with tenderness as they bled to death in their arms. They risked their lives to double back and retrieve a sacred warrior's body. Lara was starkly aware that she was in the company of elite shadow warriors who were responsible for protecting the freedom of the country. Ben once said to her about his fallen brothers, "I can never bring them back, but I sure as hell can spend the rest of my life punishing those responsible." She now understood why Ben was not involved with the acquisition of things; he acquired relationships, people. Everything else was window dressing.

Lara also began to understand why Ben never had a normal life. As a Navy SEAL, he could not expect a woman to care for him in a deep and committed relationship. He knew a relationship would never survive. He was gone non-stop. First, he spent four years in the U.S. Naval Academy. But, becoming a SEAL changed him in a fundamental way. For eight years, failure was not an option. Any misstep could cause death or injury to his brothers. The environment he lived in was foreign to Lara. For the last decade, Ben's world in Iraq consisted of desert as far as the eye could see, living in constant dust, extreme desert heat, squalid urban areas, and the hypothermic cold of the 10,000 foot mountains and lack of oxygen in Afghanistan. And, when he wasn't physically there fighting he was "working up" for deployment five months at a time. Traveling the country for special training, learning new methods, testing new combat equipment, running, lifting, staying in shape for the next deployment.

Lara had always seen Ben as an impulsive, spur-of-the-moment nomad. But she couldn't have been more mistaken. SEALs had to be prepared for a mission to go wrong, so they were expert planners. And, now she saw that Ben was actually a fanatical planner. These guys not only had a plan B, they had a plan C, and a plan D and a plan E. Ben had the skills of a linguist, mechanic, paratrooper, communications expert, medic, breacher, sniper, advanced demolition specialist, communications and high tech guru, and diving expert. But the physical skills were only half of it. It was the mental toughness that bound him to his brothers. The moment he earned his trident, Ben's life became the SEAL platoon. His family became the SEAL platoon. Ben's reason for existing became SEAL principles: love, honor, commitment, loyalty.

All of Lara's life, she had worked on restoring beautiful antiques and historical buildings to their former glory. She now accepted the fact that Ben would never be one of her restoration projects. She could never remove the scars or change him in any way. But she also recognized that was the very reason she loved him from the beginning. Just as she admired the beautiful patina on the ancient coin that graced his chest, she appreciated Ben's scars. It was because he was unchangeable, unwavering, and steadfast in his principles that she loved him so much. Those were the very traits that attracted her to him and now made her admire him even more.

~Ben~

Ben was being relentlessly teased by his brothers asking if he would be setting up a new business as a wedding planner. There was energetic laughter and rowdy behavior among the group of men. Ben missed their companionship more than he realized. Joking and drinking beers on the beach, they swapped stories and caught up with one another. Ben sensed that Lara was not yet aware that these men were Dark Horse operatives. The men in the group had frequent contact, but not often in person out in the open like this. Whenever Ben met with his brothers, it would be a private meet somewhere out of the way. Eventually, Lara would get to know them all and love them as he did.

He had already broached the subject with his brothers about bringing Lara into the company. At first, he met a wall of resistance. No woman could have the stomach or tenacity to do the work. And there was the concern about her being killed or captured. But over time they began to see the value of having a woman on their operative team. Lara could go into places and do things that a male could not. She was young and healthy and partially trained. Ideas started forming and, one by one, the brothers gradually started warming up to the idea of having Lara involved. But, they all agreed, there would need to be intensive training, and Ben would be in charge of that. The only issue that got in the way for Ben was the risk and danger involved to Lara if she agreed to work with him. He knew he wanted her to be part of Dark Horse. Her performance at the gun range had been exemplary and her martial arts skills had improved exponentially. He was now weight training with her and running. Lara was a good apprentice and he relished the extra time with her.

Leaving St. John was bittersweet. However, Lara was leaving with the happiest memories of her life. She even managed to relax enough on the plane ride home to fall asleep with Ben. Every so often the thought would come to the forefront of her mind:
I'm married to Ben. I'm his wife.
She never felt such unbridled happiness. She had an irrational fear that if she reveled in this joy too much that someone or something may take it away from her.

~Lara~

The end of April in Maine was still cold and rainy, but the sunny days that Lara enjoyed were a welcome respite from winter's grip. She still could not believe she had experienced such a magical wedding on the beach in St. John and it had all been planned by Ben. It was the high point of her life. Ben made everything so exciting. A simple breakfast with him was filled with current event discussions, or some days a quiet meditation on the porch holding hands. On sunny days, the two would go for a ride on the Indian motorcycle. Sometimes they would visit with Rusty and Lillian. Lara celebrated her twenty-fifth birthday and in a couple of weeks her university degree would be finished. Setting up Dark Horse Renovation, was well underway. She had client meetings lined up throughout the month of May and the projects would keep her busy
throughout summer, possibly into autumn.