A Shade of Vampire 23: A Flight of Souls (4 page)

“I see,” I said. “Well, thank you again.”

“Good luck, Joseph.”

A
fter Nolan
and Chantel left me, I dove through the portal. Arriving on the other side—on the small island some miles from the shores of The Tavern—I began to ponder what my next move ought to be.

After having had a taste of helpful ghosts like Chantel and Nolan, I was still reluctant to seek out Ernest again, even though he was nearby. Maybe there would be some other ghosts in The Tavern who would be willing to talk.

Chantel and Nolan had been firm in their conclusion that it was not possible for a ghost to return to their previous life—now I wanted more opinions.

And so I drifted into the sky and tried to find my way back to The Tavern. I got lost a bit over the waves but because the island was not far, and with my supernatural speed, I was able to spot its familiar outline soon enough.

I headed straight for the harbor. That seemed to be the most logical place to start. I had time. I figured that I ought to do things as systematically as possible, to make sure that I found every ghost who might be on this island, if there were any other than Ernest. He would be my very last resort.

I searched aboard every single vessel in the harbor, but found no ghosts. It was only as I neared one of the entrances to the main island and passed through the thick oak door that I had a stroke of luck. Slumped next to the ogre who was guarding the entrance was… another ogre. A ghost ogre. His features were similar to the living one next to him, and I couldn’t help but wonder if they were related. Perhaps brothers.

I had my reservations about trying to get information from an ogre—they weren’t exactly the most eloquent of sorts—but there was at least one good omen about him: his eyes were open. He wasn’t asleep, and absorbed in some dream like Ernest no doubt would be. The ogre ghost’s eyes widened as he spotted me.

“Who are you?” he grunted, even as the living ogre snored loudly by his side.

Good question.
It seemed that I had been so many things in the past year. Human, vampire, serf of the jinn, child of the Elders, and now a ghost.

“Ben,” I said, not bothering with the idiocy of giving a false name again like I had with Chantel and Nolan.

The ogre scrunched up his face in confusion. “Vampire?”

I nodded. “I was. How long have you been here?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Don’t keep track of time,” he mumbled.

“How did you die?” I prodded.

He glided to his feet and, turning around, he revealed a massive gap in the back of his skull. Wide enough for a large axe to have wedged through it.

“I see,” I murmured, as he turned around again and resumed his slouch on the ground. Before he could return my question, I asked another. “Do you know of any way, no matter how difficult or seemingly impossible, to continue living in one’s former life? To reconnect with one’s loved ones?”

The ogre stared at me like I was talking Chinese.

“No,” he grunted. “If I knew, I wouldn’t be sitting here, would I?”

Well, maybe you’re just too lazy to do what it takes…

But he had a fair point, and it was one I feared I might receive from any other ghosts I encountered.

M
y fear came to fruition
. After leaving the ogre, I kept moving about the island and discovered a surprisingly large number of other ghosts. Some had been vampires, some wolves, one had been a human, and there was even what looked like a harpy. I found myself wondering why there were so many ghosts here. Perhaps because this was a shelter to so many otherwise homeless creatures, this was the place they truly considered home, having been shunned by their own realms.

Although the numerous ghosts all had varying degrees of approachability—with the harpy being the lowest on the scale—all of them responded with exactly the same answer. There was no way to move backward.

My desperate hope was that there had to be some seemingly impossible way to do it, and the reason nobody did was because nobody was crazy enough. Because I was used to impossible circumstances. And even an impossible task was better than none at all.

But here I found myself, with no leads whatsoever.

By the end of the day, after speaking to dozens of ghosts, I found myself drifting toward the beach and then back over the waves. I wandered slowly, aimlessly, deep in thought and worry. I ended up back near the small islet that held the portal. The sight of the star-strewn abyss brought my mind back to the present. Many hours had passed since leaving Chantel and Nolan, and surely it would be well past midnight by now. I felt curious to see whether all those ghosts were still waiting on the other end. Whether that fable had been just that—a stupid fable. Probably concocted by some miserable spirits to make themselves feel better.

Hovering over the gate, I traveled back through the ethereal tunnel and shot out of the other side, landing back in a world of ice.

When I gazed around the snowy plateau, there was nobody in sight. I moved over to the cliff and gazed down at the ledge where the ghosts had been gathered. Also empty.

I guessed that they had waited until past midnight, and seeing that nothing was happening, they had all drifted away, hapless and disappointed.

I drifted over the plateau, toward the steep drop where the ledge was, and decided to sit there for a while. I could see why most of the ghosts had gathered here to wait. The view of the mountains was breathtaking.

Now… What next?

I still couldn’t help but feel that, if there were any answers, they would lie back in the supernatural realm. But where? The Tavern was really the only place that I was familiar with. Of course, as a ghost, it was not like I would be in danger roaming around the various realms, but, although I had the time… I did not want to be roaming forever.

I mulled over the matter a while longer and was about to head back to the gate—to return to The Tavern and ask the first ghost I saw where the nearest main settlement was where I might find more ghosts to speak to—when I felt an odd sensation. Suction, coming from behind me. As though somebody was holding up a powerful vacuum cleaner right next to me, I found myself being sucked backward, but on twisting to see who was there, there was nobody.

The suction intensified, dragging me in the opposite direction of the gate, even as I tried to fight it. Then it became too strong. The next thing I knew, I was flying away from the mountain, pulled by some invisible force. My speed increased until I was going so fast that the world around me became a blur. Utterly bewildered, I continued to hurtle forward, until eventually—I could not say how long it took—I came to an abrupt stop through no exertion of my own.

My vision coming into focus, I found myself standing on a rocky shore directly in front of the entrance to a cave. This cave was familiar. Uncannily familiar. This was… Hortencia’s cave.

Without warning, the oracle wheedled in my head, “Enter if you dare…”

What is going on?

Hurrying forward into the cave, I moved along the narrow passageway until I reached the oracle’s grotty front door. A sense of anticipation—even excitement—swelled up in me. The oracle. She knew of my existence. She could sense my presence. Heck, apparently she had even summoned me to her. Witches could not sense me, and according to Nolan and Chantel, it was unlikely that jinn could either, but this oracle was different in many ways. She could see things that nobody else could. And apparently that extended as far as ghosts.

The idea had occurred to me to seek out the oracle before now, but I’d dismissed it because I had no clue how to reach her cave. Now I was here, delivered right to her doorstep.

Maybe she can help shed some light
.

I was no longer afraid of her predictions—after all, my life could hardly get any worse.

I passed through her door, expecting to see the oracle standing, or perhaps sitting, in her usual solitude. But as I entered, I was met with quite a different sight.

I did find the oracle—perched on a rickety stool—but gathered around her were the three women I loved most in the world.

“
T
he young spirit has arrived
,” the eyeless oracle announced, almost gleeful.

I gazed anxiously at the pale faces of my mother, sister and girlfriend. They had figured it out. Due to the messages I’d left, they must have suspected I was a ghost, and perhaps it was River who’d suggested that they come to consult with the oracle. River was the only one of the three who had been here before. But how had they gotten here? How had they found her?

It didn’t matter. They were here. And I was here.

I knew that if I failed to find any kind of solution for myself, I would return to The Shade and find a way to communicate the truth to them. The full truth, not just dribs and drabs, so that it would be easier for them to move on. But I hadn’t been ready to tell them yet, not when I still held on to a sliver of hope that I might be able to return in some way, even if not in my own body.

Now, I had no choice in the matter. From the looks on their faces, it was clear that the oracle had already told them everything.

My eyes passed over a strange arrangement in the center of the dim room. There was a low, circular wooden table, upon which stood a rusted, medieval-looking dagger, positioned at a perfect ninety-degree angle. The dagger had a large, ornate handle and a thin blade whose tip was dug into the table’s surface, though it was hard to tell whether this positioning alone was what made it stand or if that was caused by the oracle’s magic. I couldn’t even begin wrapping my mind around what this was exactly, but whatever it was, I was sure that it had something to do with Hortencia summoning me here.

“How do we know that Ben is here?” River asked, her voice slightly shaky, as she furrowed her brows.

Hortencia whirled on her. “Do you suggest that I lie to you, girl?”

River pursed her lips in response.

“What reason would I have to lie, pray tell? You are the ones who disturbed me here and requested me to call a communion with your lost boy. I have frankly no interest in whether or not you believe me, but if you don’t, I suggest you get out of my cave since you’re wasting my time.”

Rose was looking uncertainly at the oracle, a mixture of disgust and fascination in her large, green eyes as she took in her appearance. This meeting would have been the first time Rose had ever encountered an oracle before, and for that matter, it was my mother’s first time too. Still looking doubtful, Rose placed a hand over River’s knee and squeezed it.

“I think we should believe her,” Rose whispered, as the oracle crossed her arms over her chest and headed to the other side of the room in a huff. “Like she says, what would be the point in lying? If she just wanted to get rid of us, she could’ve just said that she couldn’t call Ben, or heck, just forced us out of her cave with her magic. I don’t think she’s trying to fool us. There’s nothing in it for her.”

“I agree,” my mother breathed. Her eyes moved back to the oracle. “Please, Hortencia. River didn’t mean to offend you. It was merely a question… H-How do I talk to my son?”

“You already are,” the oracle sneered, still refusing to turn around and face my mother. “I told you, he has arrived in the room and whatever you say enters his wispy ears.”

I wondered if Hortencia could actually see me in her mind’s eye. But more importantly, I wondered whether she could hear me. I’d heard her in my mind while still outside the cave. I needed to test if the communication went both ways.

“Hortencia,” I said, before pausing for her response.

She turned slowly in my direction.

“Yes, phantom?” she murmured.

She can hear me. She can hear me!
The realization was strange. This was the first time a living person had been able to actually hear me, in real life, outside of a dream, since I became a ghost. As repugnant and irritating as this oracle was, she had become my only link.

“Please, tell them that I love them,” I requested.

The small woman’s lips curled slightly, and I was sure that if she’d had eyeballs, she would’ve rolled them. She twisted to face my mother, sister, and River.

“He says that he loves you,” she said in a sickly sweet voice.

Not exactly the delivery I would’ve wanted, but it was better than nothing. In fact, it brought about a much stronger reaction than I had wanted.

Tears began spilling down my mother and sister’s cheeks, while I could see that River was on the verge of breaking down too. I didn’t think that River missed me any less than my mother and sister, but she was more practiced at holding in her emotions than they were.

I stalled, wondering what to say next. What could I say that wouldn’t hurt them, that wouldn’t rip their hearts to shreds? Though it was probably too late for that now.

“So… you told them everything about me?” I clarified.

“Enough about you,” Hortencia replied before grimacing. “Enough for them to insist that I call you here.”

“She told us what happened to you, Ben.” River spoke up, her voice deep and low. Apparently she’d cast aside her doubts as to whether I really was present. She looked around the room, uncertain where to focus her gaze as she continued, “She told us that you sacrificed yourself to prevent the Elders’ uprising, and she told us… what you are now.” Her voice went quieter still. “She told us how you saved me from hunters.” She stopped, her throat clogging up.

Her voice slashed my heart like a knife.

By now Hortencia had resumed her seat on the stool, and I moved next to her.

“Will you tell them that I’m standing right next to you, on your right side?” I said to the oracle.

Hortencia jabbed a finger at me, and said, “He wants you to know that he is standing next to me.”

My mother, sister and River’s eyes shot toward my direction and, if I’d possessed insides, they would’ve squirmed. It was a bitter reminder of how lost I’d become, how out of touch. This was the closest I’d come to real-life contact with them in what felt like forever. How I wished that they could actually see me the way I saw them.

I still wasn’t sure what I wanted to say to them. I realized that I felt grateful to the oracle for having revealed everything beforehand, saving me the pain of having to do it myself.

It didn’t seem that there was much more to be said about what had happened to me. Now I just felt a burning urge to comfort them somehow.

I left Hortencia’s side and approached my mother, who sat nearest to me. Bending down, I kissed her cheek. I was about to request Hortencia to inform my mother that I was inches from her when, apparently sensing my desire, she blew out a sigh of impatience and revealed it herself.

“Mother of the dead, he has just kissed your cheek,” she said, her tone infused with boredom.

Mother of the dead.
I glared daggers at Hortencia. It was ironic, for all her infinite sensitivity to the universe, how insensitive she could be to the feelings of those around her.

My mother raised a hand in the air, which passed right through my chest.

“Ben,” she whispered. “I love you, Ben. And—” She drew in a heavy breath as her voice cracked. “I need you to know how proud I am of you.”

I placed my translucent hands around her hand and planted a kiss over her knuckles. “I love you too, Mom.”

“He repeats that he loves you,” Hortencia murmured to my mother.

Next I moved to my sister, and dipping down, kissed her cheek too.
My twin
. I gazed down upon her pretty, innocent face—or should I have said deceptively innocent, after her recent misadventures. It felt like I had grown so far apart from Rose. We had been practically inseparable as children and recently—even when I was still alive—we’d been away from each other for so long that it almost felt like our connection was fading. We didn’t share the same uncanny mental connection that my father and aunt had… at least, neither of us had experienced it yet.

“Hortencia, please tell Rose that I’m next to her now.”

As the oracle did, tears flowed more heavily down Rose’s cheeks. “Dammit, Ben,” she croaked. “You don’t know how much I miss you.”

“I know,” I replied. “I know.” Replying that I missed her too felt almost redundant. Of course she’d know that I missed her just as much.

I remained gazing into my sister’s face for several moments before finally moving to River. My heart ripped as my love’s gaze turned upward, as though already expecting that I was moving on to her. Her turquoise eyes… they fixed so near to where mine were. I lowered myself a little, so that I could be looking directly at her.

“Tell River I’m looking into her eyes.”

The oracle blew out sharply. “My patience wears thinner than a ghoul’s skin. You have five more minutes in my abode, the lot of you. These ladies have already eaten into too much of my precious time.”

Five more minutes
.

“Tell her,” I urged the oracle.

“Your ex-lover is peeping at you now, half-blood,” Hortencia said, her voice monotone.

Ex-lover
. I wanted to swear at the woman.

Finally, the tears that had been welling for so long behind River’s eyes overflowed like a dam breaking and streamed in rivers down her cheeks. She bit down hard on her lower lip as she continued to stare determinedly at me.

Moving closer, I moved my lips over her forehead, then her nose, then her lips.

“We need you back, Ben,” she said hoarsely. Her voice dropped quieter. “
I
need you back.” As more tears spilled, she reached up to brush them away roughly with the back of her hand, though they were instantly replaced by more.

What could I say to her? That I would come back? That I would find a way?

“I’m trying, River,” I said, my own voice close to breaking. “I promise you, I’m trying.”

The oracle let out a wild cackle. “No, you’re not!” she shrieked.

I whirled around to face her, baffled.

“What?”

“Don’t try to fool the girl that you’re trying. You’re not trying. You’re simply wandering.”

If I was still a vampire, my hands would have been twitching to wring her neck.

Her words made my ego flare. What else could a person be doing in my position that I hadn’t already done? That I wasn’t already doing? What more could I possibly do? Dammit, I wasn’t all-seeing like her.
All-seeing and all-useless
.

Then I caught myself, realizing the stupidity in letting myself get carried away with my ego.
Perhaps she’s on the verge of offering up her own suggestion, her own solution to my predicament.

I humbled myself before her, and, gazing at her intently, asked, “Then… if I am not trying, will you enlighten me and tell me how to try?”

The oracle stood from where she had been perched on her stool, and, fighting to pull a straight face, she panned her head up to me.

“You need to stop being a coward, that’s what you need to do,” she said, planting her hands on her narrow hips.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“What are you talking about?” Rose blurted over the top of me, indignation flushing her cheeks. “My brother’s no coward!”

The oracle ignored my sister, keeping her attention on me. “I meant exactly what I said,” she replied. “You need to stop fearing what you must face.”

Is this oracle really so incapable of just giving me a straight answer?
I realized how strange it must’ve been to my mother, sister and River to be listening in on what for them would look like a one-sided conversation—the oracle talking to herself. Then again, maybe that wasn’t so strange.

“What must I face?” I urged.

“The same that all ghosts must face. At least, those who are not numbskulls, or gluttons for punishment.”

I paused. The frustration boiling within me gave way to slow realization as to what she was getting at. “You’re… you’re telling me that… I need to go to the ‘other side?’”

“The penny drops!” she cackled, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“But how would that bring me back to my old life?”

“I never said it would,” Hortencia countered. “Though I never said it wouldn’t, either.”

Impossible woman.

“For the love of God,” I hissed, “will you just spit it out already? Is there any way for me to return to my old life, or not?”

“That is not for me to say, but for you to find out…” She snapped her face away from me, her focus switching back on the other three in the room. “Now, five minutes has long passed. Take your leave. I tire of your miserable auras.”

“Wait,” I growled. “You can’t just leave me hanging like this!”

“You see the future, don’t you?” River spoke up. “You know what’s up ahead of him. Please, tell us.”

As she’d disregarded my sister before, now she ignored River.

“Up and out, children!” she shrilled.

When the three made no motion to move, she strolled up to them and began grabbing their arms, pulling them out of their seats and bustling them to the door.

“It is rude to outstay one’s welcome.” She scowled.

My mother stopped by the door and refused to budge. “Hortencia,” she said, her eyes wide and desperate. “I thank you for all that you have told us, but please, will you just tell us something more? Anything more that could help my son. Please.”

“I have told him all he needs to know,” Hortencia replied, her lower lip curling. “And I have given him my advice—that he must stop trying to push backward and instead roll forward.”

As the oracle pushed the three women out of the door and moved to slam it in their faces, River stuck out her foot and jammed it in the door. She squeezed back through, her eyes traveling around the room wildly, as if in search of me again.

“Ben,” she called, her eyes bloodshot. “You have to find a way. You
have
to.”

The desperation in her voice shook me. I wasn’t used to River breaking down like this. I was about to respond again that I would try, but recalling the way the oracle had admonished me before, I thought better of it.

“I will,” I said, with confidence I did not possess. “I
will
, River.”

To my surprise, the oracle took it upon herself to relay my message without my asking… albeit changing my words in the process.