A Shining Light (30 page)

She gazed heavenward. “Ach! That is the gut news?”

“It is gut news when you consider how many men work in that mill and could have been killed or suffered terrible burns.” He bent his head and stared into the coffee. “I do not know how we will manage to replace the mill. There is not enough money to begin such a big project right now. And who can say how soon we will have the necessary funds.” He lifted his cup and took a swallow of the steaming brew. “We must pray and believe that God will provide.”

Sister Erma nodded. “He has always provided for us, and He will take care of this need in His own time and in His own way.”

As I stood in the doorway to the dining room and listened to their conversation, I was overcome by a powerful feeling deep inside. I had enough money to rebuild the mill. Here was the sign I had been praying for ever since Fred's death. There was a need for the contents of that metal box, a need much greater than an elegant house or fancy clothes for Lukas and me. These were the people who had helped my son and me when we had been without food or shelter, and they now deserved my help. This village had been a shining light during my time of darkness. To help them would give me great joy. God had provided my answer—He had given me a sign. A sign I would not ignore.

When Brother Bosch prepared to depart, I drew close to his side. “I know there is much for the elders to decide in the coming days, but you will recall I am supposed to meet with them tomorrow. Do you think they will still meet with me?”

“We will need to meet and discuss what has happened today and what plans should be made about the future of the mill. We will speak with you before we begin that difficult conversation.”

I prayed in earnest before and during prayer meeting and knew I was not mistaken about my decision. Though weary from digging through rubble for most of the afternoon, Dirk agreed to come to the Küche after prayer meeting. “I promise I won't keep you very long, but there is something important I want to tell you.”

We sat opposite each other at one of the worktables in the kitchen. “Ja, what is that?”

“I have received my answer. I am going to remain in the colonies.”

“Tell me what God has revealed to you.”

My stomach clenched. His response was more solemn than I'd anticipated.

Being careful to leave nothing out, I explained how I had come to know I had received an answer to my many prayers. A glimmer of excitement flashed in his clear blue eyes, and his familiar smile slowly spread across his face. “You're absolutely certain you want to stay?”

I giggled. “Without any doubt, I know this is where I want to be.” I stood to refill his cup with coffee.

“And you want to marry me?” The spark in his eyes ignited with a passion that made my knees go weak.

My mouth suddenly went as dry as a wad of cotton batting. I bobbed my head and swallowed hard. “Very much.”

He stood, came around the worktable, and gathered me into his arms. “I am the happiest man alive.” He lowered his head and gently kissed my lips.

“Ach! What is this we have going on in my kitchen, Brother Dirk?” We both turned to see Sister Erma pointing her finger in our direction. “This is not gut. You two should know better than this.”

“You will not gain any apology from me, Sister Erma. I love Andrea and it is my plan to ask the elders for her hand in marriage. I do not think a little kiss is such a bad thing when a man is prepared to ask for a woman's hand, do you?”

She tilted her head and grinned. “As long as the man does not wait too long. When is it you will speak to the elders?”

Dirk laughed. “You are as pushy as an eager Vater, but since you have asked, I will tell you. Tomorrow I will go with Sister Andrea to the elders' meeting.”

Sister Erma dropped her hand to her side and smiled. “Then I agree that a kiss between you is not such a bad thing. In fact, it is a gut thing. A very gut thing.”

The following morning, Dirk patiently waited while I walked upstairs with Lukas.

“Make sure you wear your heavy coat to school. It is cold today.”

“I wish I could go with you so I would know right away what the elders say.” His eyes shone with excitement. “Did you put the cookie cutter in your pocket?”

“Not yet, but I am going to get it right now.” Last night he'd asked me to take it along so that I would be thinking of him during the meeting. After I'd listened to his nighttime prayers, he confided that he would be very sad if we had to leave the colonies. I reassured him that I would tell the elders of his desire to live in West Amana.

I donned my coat, placed the angel cookie cutter in my pocket, and retrieved the metal box from inside my small trunk. This morning I hoped the elders would agree that we could remain here.

Membership in the society required a forfeiture of all worldly goods, other than personal belongings and family keepsakes. Though some found such an idea hard to accept, I thought it freeing. For me, the concept of communal property was a reminder of the early church, when believers cared for one another as they shared not only their belief in Christ but also their worldly belongings.

To be able to help those who had assisted Lukas and me would bring immeasurable joy. My only worry was whether the elders would agree that I should permanently join them. I knew they would not be swayed by money. Their questions would deal with my faith and my reasons for making such an appeal.

After bidding Sister Greta and Sister Erma good-bye, I handed the metal box to Dirk. He secured it under his arm, and I hurried ahead toward the meetinghouse. I didn't want to be late.

Taking long strides, Dirk came to my side. “We do not need to run. We will be there on time if we walk.” He grinned down at me.

Though his calm words were soothing, I continued my rapid pace. Only when he stopped did I slow and glance over my shoulder. “What are you doing? Come on.”

Slowly he stepped toward me and gently grasped my elbow. “Why are you so worried? The elders are kind men who are going to ask you some simple questions. There is nothing to fear.”

He continued his leisurely pace. I'd have to slow my stride or leave him behind. “That is easy for you to say, but you can't be sure. You've never had to ask to become a member.” I arched my brows. “Have you?”

“Nein, but during my first
Unterredung
, I was so nervous I could not speak when I stood before the elders. Of course, I was a young boy with much to confess.”

“What is Unterredung?” I'd never heard anyone mention the word before.

“It is an annual service of confession and spiritual examination in which we stand before the elders and church members and admit our wrongdoings during the past year.”

I gulped. “Out loud? In front of everyone?” The thought left me weak-kneed.

“After the first time it is not so bad, but as a child it was a fearsome thing for me. Besides, you will have little to confess. You are a gut woman.”

Dirk's disclosure of his fear during the Unterredung was meant to ease my fear. Instead, it increased my worries. Neither Sister Erma nor Sister Greta had ever mentioned such an event, nor had I attended any meeting where I'd observed such an occurrence. I gave Dirk a sideways glance, hoping to discover he had been joking with me, but his serious countenance remained.

“When will this happen—the Unterredung
?
”

He stopped short. “I have caused you more worry. I am sorry. I hoped to lighten your concern with a story from my childhood. Have I ever lied to you?” I shook my head and he smiled. “Then please believe me when I tell you there is nothing to fear today or during an Unterredung. Always, I will be by your side to help you.”

“Danke, Dirk.” I tried to slow my breathing as we neared the meetinghouse.

He shifted the metal box and held it out to me. “You should present this to the elders after you have finished speaking to them.”

Taking the box from his hands, I smiled. “We shall see if they will be pleased to welcome me.”

“Ach! You need to stop all this gloomy thinking.” He touched his fingers to my lips and gently pushed them into a smile. “Walk into the meeting room with a smile and joy in your heart. The elders are going to enjoy their visit with you.”

I glanced toward the women's door. “Where will you be?”

“I'll wait in the foyer just inside the men's door. Once they have given you their decision, tell the elders that I am waiting and we wish to speak to them together. One of the elders will likely be waiting to lead you into the meeting.”

After a quick nod, I headed toward the door but stopped and turned after only a few steps. “But what if—”

He placed his finger against his lips and shook his head. “No gloomy thoughts. Remember?”

My heart thumped a loud and rapid beat, and fear pinched a tight band around my chest as I climbed the steps and entered the women's door. Dirk was right. Brother Bosch was waiting for me. Upon seeing his smile and twinkling eyes, my heart quieted and the invisible strap loosened its hold.

“Come, Sister Andrea. The elders are waiting to hear what you have to say.” He led me into the room. “You may be seated in the chair across from us.”

While he walked around the table and sat down, I placed the metal box on the floor and took my chair before the group. Though they didn't appear completely formidable, their countenances didn't offer the reassurance I had hoped for. I was thankful for the presence of Brother Bosch—and the fact that he would lead the meeting.

He nodded at me. “You may begin, Sister.”

The six elders carefully listened as I cleared my throat and expressed my desire to make a permanent home for Lukas and me in West Amana.

When I hesitated, Brother Bosch smiled at me. “There is no need to go into your background or how you came to be living among us. We all have knowledge of those circumstances, but we will need to ask you some questions regarding your faith.”

The questions weren't difficult or unexpected. I was asked to
affirm my belief in Jesus as my Savior and my willingness to abide by God's precepts and the rules of the society. After giving the elders a positive response to their questions, I folded my hands in front of me. “It is my hope that you will permit us to remain here and become members of the Amana Society.”

I held my breath and waited. Would they give me an immediate decision, or would I be required to wait hours, days, or weeks for them to decide? Dirk believed they would make an immediate decision, but Sister Erma said when matters were not clear to them, the elders would wait upon God for an answer. Having waited a very long time for my own answer from God, I prayed this decision would be immediately clear to the men sitting in front of me.

The men leaned close together, their murmurs muffled and indistinguishable. A short time later, the elders returned to their upright positions. Brother Bosch was the only one who looked at me. I thought my heart might explode as I waited for him to speak. “We want to explain that when a suitable candidate requests membership in the society, there is usually a period of probation where the candidate is asked to sign an obligation to labor faithfully, abide by the regulations of the community, and demand no wages.” One of the men drummed his fingertips on the table, but after a stern look from Brother Bosch, the drumming ceased. “This probationary period is at the discretion of the Bruderrat, and since we believe you have already revealed you are willing to meet these obligations and have stated your accord with the religious doctrines of the society, we will waive the probationary period.”

I was so relieved, I wanted to shout. Instead, I quietly thanked the men and added, “I will do my best to honor your decision.”

Brother Bosch inhaled a deep breath. “I am sure you will, Sister Andrea. We will want you to sign a Covenant, and after Brother Frederick reads the Constitution, you will be asked to sign it, as
well. Once you have done so, you will be admitted to full membership with all the rights and privileges given to all of our members.”

Signing the Covenant took only a moment, but reading the Constitution proved a lengthy affair. I did my best to carefully listen to each of the Constitutional articles, though I noticed two of the elders closing their eyes. After Brother Frederick completed the reading, Brother Bosch looked up.

“If you agree with our Constitution and still wish to become a member, you should sign here.” Brother Bosch pointed to an empty space. I stepped forward and, using my best penmanship, signed my name.

“We are in agreement that you are now one of us, Sister Andrea.” He leaned forward and glanced at the other elders.

In one unified moment, they offered their assent. I gasped and clutched my hand around the angel tucked in my pocket. We'd been accepted! We had a home where we would forever be safe and secure.

“Danke, Brothers. I am humbled by your acceptance of me.” I leaned down and picked up the box. “When I first came here, I had nothing to offer in payment for all your kindness and the medical treatment given to my now-deceased husband, but this box was recently recovered from my father's barn. Inside is the money the society paid him for his property. It is my hope that there is enough to rebuild the mill as well as to purchase a new boiler and the other equipment needed so that West will once again have a fine flour mill.” I stood and placed the metal box on the table in front of them.

From the pleasure that spread across their faces, I knew they were quite pleased. “We gratefully accept the gift of your possessions, Sister Andrea. There is great need among us, and God has answered.”

I waited a moment and glanced toward the men's door. “Brother Dirk has asked if he may join us. There is something he wishes to ask that affects both of us.”

“Ja, of course we will speak with him.” Brother Bosch sent one of the elders to fetch Dirk. When they returned, Dirk stepped to my side.

“I have come before you to ask permission to marry Sister Andrea. I understand that it has not been long since her husband's death, but because of the special circumstances and since a year of waiting is required before marriage, it is my hope that you will agree to our marriage.”

Once again, the men gathered together and spoke in hushed voices. I glanced away from the elders and looked at Dirk, who graced me with a smile that warmed my heart. Though I remained uncertain whether the elders would agree to the arrangement he had proposed, he appeared confident.

His lips formed the word
smile
, and I immediately did his bidding. He was right: Smiling seemed to make things better, especially waiting. Moments later, the elders sat back in their chairs and Brother Bosch gave a firm nod. “We have agreed that you may begin your waiting period immediately, Brother Dirk. Permission is granted for you and Sister Andrea to marry after one year has passed.”

Dirk took a step forward. “And the separation? Is it your wish that I move to another village?”

“In most cases, you know we would do so. However, you are needed here in West. We discussed sending Sister Andrea and her son to another village, but since the boy has already been required to deal with many difficulties in his young life, we think such a move would not be wise. It is agreed that Sister Andrea and her son will remain with Sister Erma, and you will remain at your
shop. The boy may continue to work with you. We believe it will help him and strengthen your bond before you marry his mother.”

My heart soared as I listened to the decision. I wanted to leap across the table and hug Brother Bosch, but I remained as still as a statue while I rubbed my thumb against the angel in my coat pocket. Lukas and I would soon have a permanent home, and my son would have a father who truly loved him.