A Simple Winter: A Seasons of Lancaster Novel (7 page)

She was interrupted by Dakota, who trundled over with grocery bags in both hands. “Time to make the stew, sweetie,” she called, not realizing Remy was engaged in conversation. “You ready?”

“Dakota …” Remy took one of the shopping bags from her friend. “This is Adam. We met last year, sort of by accident. And this is my friend Dakota.” Remy’s free hand balled into a fist as she watched Dakota take in the situation and hoped that her friend wouldn’t reveal that Remy had talked about her meeting with Adam for months last year.

Dakota’s hazel eyes went wide as she gave Remy a look that clearly said, “I get it.” She turned to Adam. “Nice to meet you. Are you part of the King cheese dynasty?”

He laughed. “Dynasty? That’s not us. But our family has been running dairy farms for many generations.”

Cheese … suddenly Remy remembered her mission. “So, Adam, what kind of Havarti do you recommend?”

“Well, it depends on what you’re looking for.” He shifted from one foot to the other, and she was struck by the width of his shoulders and broad back. In her memory he’d been a smaller man, but perhaps that was because he’d been huddled under a wool cap and baggy shirt when she’d met him, hiding from the world. “Havarti is a creamy, semisoft cheese. Everyone seems to like the plain cream, but there’s dill or caraway if you like those flavors.”

Remy and Dakota decided on the plain cream Havarti, and Adam kindly ushered them to the side so that he could handle the transaction himself. As she watched him wrap the cheese in paper, Remy wondered if he worked the market every day. In a surge of courage, she asked him.

“I’m here every few weeks,” he explained. “My cousin Joe and his wife handle the sales here. The rest of us alternate delivery duties, as we’ve all got responsibilities on our farms.”

When he handed her the wrapped package, Remy held out a ten-dollar bill. But Adam shook his head. “Consider it a gift. I never got a chance to thank you for feeding me on that train ride.”

“I seem to remember some hot cocoa. Really, what do I owe you?”

“Take it, please.” He dropped it into the canvas bag at her feet. “We don’t always understand what God has in store for us, but even through our sadness, He is in control.”

She squinted at him. “Are you saying God wants me to have that cheese?”

He laughed. “I didn’t say that, but I do.”

She smiled and looked down at the cheese, realizing that it was time to go, though she wanted to stay. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d enjoyed talking with a guy her age. The air between them was both easy and intense, like the undertow of an ocean that pushed and pulled at the same time. If only she could stay in the water awhile longer.

“Well, thank you,” she said, trying to be gracious. “We appreciate it.”

He nodded, the slow burn in his eyes steady and intense. “Have a good evening.”

“Thanks! You, too!” Dakota called, waggling her fingers as they headed off.

It was difficult to move away from him, as if they were stepping from a halo of light into darkness. “Did you notice his eyes?” Remy asked, steeling herself to keep from looking back at him.

“His eyes?” Dakota let out a snort. “Honey, I could barely see with the glare off that dazzling puffy heart around the two of you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s obvious that he likes you, and you like him.”

“You mean, like like?”

“To put it in fifth-grade terminology, yeah. Uh-huh.”

“Really?” Remy hitched the canvas bag higher on her shoulder, bolstered by her friend’s observation.

“Definitely. If he wasn’t Amish, I’d be picking out my bridesmaid dress right now.”

If he wasn’t Amish …

Dakota’s words were a cold wind of reality blowing through her daydream paradise. They lived in different worlds. Adam King was not going to be her boyfriend, no matter how she felt about him.

But wading through the disappointment, she wondered if he could be her friend. There was no denying the connection between
them. In the two times they’d met, she and Adam had shared some very personal thoughts and feelings, and she liked his attitude of respect and caring. This was a guy she could trust.

My Amish friend …

Remy felt warmed, knowing he was out there, knowing he cared even a little bit for her.

My friend
. It was enough. More than enough.

rawing her shawl closer for warmth, Mary gazed back at the roaring bonfire as Five clicked his tongue and the horse drew the buggy away from the gathering. Groups of young Amish men and women sat on benches and blankets around the fire, sipping hot chocolate and singing fast songs. Their high-pitched young voices carried merriment into the stillness of night.

A joyous event, and now a buggy ride beside the one person who made her feel alive and special and loved. On nights like this her heart danced with expectation and happiness—the sheer joy of being beside this solid young man, whom she’d known since they both were children. If only they could be together, just the two of them, more than once every two weeks.

Reins in one hand, Five stretched his arms wide and took a deep breath. “Such a beautiful night.”

“Who calls it a beautiful night in the deep freeze of January?” Although Mary teased her beau, she secretly appreciated his never-ending enthusiasm. Five could make a thunderstorm into
a chance to huddle together under cover, a broken buggy wheel into an excuse to enjoy a slower pace. “You have a crooked way of looking at life, John Beiler.”

“Can’t a man admire the Creator’s handiwork?”

Five’s father, also named John Beiler, had instilled a strong love of God in his children. Mary was ever inspired by Five’s faith, that quiet strength he possessed deep within. Sometimes, when she dreamed of the children they would have together, the Lord willing, she imagined their sons and daughters echoing Five’s faith through kindness and good works.

“The winds have died down, there’s not a cloud to be seen, and look at the stars overhead. Sparkling gems in the sky. Mary, have you ever seen stars so magnificent?”

His enthusiasm never ceased to amaze her. “Can’t say that I have.”

Holding the reins in one hand, he reached back with another and handed her a blanket. “There you go. You can tuck this over your legs. Or simply move a bit closer to me and I’ll keep you warm.”

“The blanket will be fine,” she said, laying it over their legs. Immediately it began to capture the heat from the warm brick Five had placed on the floor of the buggy. “But I’ll not get too close. We can’t have people talking about us before we have a chance to wed. It would break my heart if people thought we were doing the wrong thing.”

“Sweet Mary. Always concerned about doing the right thing.” Even in the soft darkness she caught the light in his blue eyes as he reached toward her. How wondrous it was to see that glimmer of love there just for her.

She felt the warmth of his hand on hers and she linked her fingers with his, encouraged by the privacy of darkness. “And don’t you share the same concerns? We’re both baptized members of the
church. Our time for rumspringa is over. Of course I feel responsible for making the right choices.”

“That’s one of the many reasons why I love you.”

Delight bubbled inside her upon hearing his words. “And I love you. Truly, I can’t wait to be your wife.”

How many days and nights had she dreamed of a life with Five? So many times when she was changing Katie’s diaper, wringing laundry, or preparing a stew, she had imagined herself doing these tasks in a home she shared with Five. Diapering their own baby … tending to Five’s britches and shirts … cooking a meal to share with her husband and their family. She would bake for her new family … shoofly pies and butterscotch brownies and dilly bread. And oh, the quilts she would sew with other Amish women, her sisters and aunts and friends. And someday, God willing, her own daughters would join in and sit across from her in the quilting circle, soaking up the wisdom and tales of their elders as their fingers deftly moved a needle.

“We don’t have too much longer to wait, Mary.” Five’s voice drew her back from her fantasies. “I’m ready to go to the bishop and declare my intentions. We could publish in the end of October and marry at the beginning of wedding season in November.”

The effervescent joy in her heart suddenly went flat. “Oh, I don’t know about that, John.” She tried, but she couldn’t even muster a smile when she thought of the year ahead.

“Hmm …” His voice was a low rumble. “When you call me John, I know we’re in trouble.”

“God willing, the worst trouble is behind us, losing Mamm and Dat.”

“And I’m not making light of that, Mary. You know I’d never—”

“Of course, Five. You’ve been nothing but wonderful through it all. Sticking beside me and putting off our wedding plans.” When it became clear that Mary’s family needed her after her parents’
deaths, Five was the first to suggest they delay their wedding. He’d understood that it wasn’t only the little ones who needed care, but also the middle ones who required Mary’s nurturing. Ruthie and the twins were responsible children, but they needed guidance, especially Susie, who had her health issues. Then there was Sadie, sneaking off with Englishers every chance she got. That girl had always had a defiant streak. Gabriel had talked with Bishop Samuel about the anger burning in his soul at the loss of their parents. Jonah, always a quiet one, had receded into himself, and though he was a grown man now, Mary still felt concern that he would ever find happiness. And Simon, deeply traumatized by what he’d seen … how she prayed that the healing would save Simon from his constant fear.

“I know it’s a sin to worry, but here I am like a tangled ball of yarn and I don’t know what we’re going to do. When Adam arrived, we were all so relieved to have him back and in charge of things. And it was wonderful gut when he went for
die Gemee
, his instruction, and got baptized last fall. My brother is doing the best he can, but as time goes on it’s become more and more clear that he can’t handle the family alone.”

“Of course he can’t,” Five agreed. “Everyone needs the support of the community.”

“Ya. That and a wife. And that, I’ve come to think, is the thing that’s holding the family back. Adam can’t handle the family without a woman at his side. And right now, I happen to be that woman.”

“But you’re to be
my
wife.” Five squeezed her arm against his, sending warmth radiating up her arm. When he lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of her hand, she felt his love, a bird’s wings beating in her chest. “The time is approaching for us to be man and wife, Mary. This is what God wants for us.”

“Ya? God has told you that?” she teased.

“I know it as surely as there’s a moon and stars shining on us
tonight. It’s time for us to be together, day and night, Mary. Time for us to start a family, God willing. Isn’t that what you want, too?”

“I want it with all my heart,” she vowed, and she felt the truth in her words. Being with Five, even sitting here beside him on the worn leather seat of the buggy bench, it felt just right. She knew this was where she wanted to be, and she had a strong sense of God’s approval for their life together.

And yet, the endless sense of duty to her siblings tugged at her, like an insistent goat pulling laundry from the clothesline. They needed her every day, nearly every minute of every day. At times the burden seemed overwhelming, but Mary set to one task at a time with faith that the good Lord would not give her more than she could bear.

“I keep waiting and praying for God to make it easier for me to part with my family so that we can start our life together,” Mary said. “Unfortunately, He hasn’t moved any mountains yet.”

“Maybe you need to take the first step. Have you told Adam about our plans to marry come autumn?”

“He’s hinted around about it. But how could I tell him that? He’d think I’m about to abandon him and the little ones.”

“But he needs to know. To start with, just because you wouldn’t live under the same roof doesn’t mean you wouldn’t continue helping with the cooking and cleaning there.” He tipped his hat back and moonlight washed over his angular face, illuminating his pale golden hair. “And another thing: If Adam knows of your intention to marry, it might start him thinking of finding a wife.”

Mary shook her head. “Oh, he seems so far from considering marriage. You know Annie favors him, and I’ve tried so many times to get Adam to pay her some attention, all without success. I can’t even get him to talk of courtship.”

“But it’s time for him to find someone to spend his life with. Maybe he’s waiting for a little push. And you can give him the kick
in the pants he needs, good sister that you are.” Five squeezed her hand again. “I’ve found the love of my life, and I want Adam to know the same happiness.”

She sighed. “How wonderful that would be.” Although her relationship with Five was no secret to close members of their families, no one else knew that they had planned to marry in the wedding season that had just passed. To hear Five talk of their marrying this year brought such joy to her heart, and yet she feared it was not a realistic goal, much as they both wanted it.