A Slippery Slope (23 page)

‘Rebuild our relationship? Are you saying you want to try again?
Are you saying you want me back?’ So Josh was right.

‘Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. You still love me, don’t
you? Can you forgive this one lapse in my loyalty to you? Because it’s only
ever happened once – and it won’t happen again.’

‘Well, this is all a bit sudden. The last thing I heard from you
was that you wanted to sell the house – and that was via text. When I
telephoned you to say that I was coming out here, you just said we needed to
talk things through. You sounded pretty certain then that our marriage was
over.’

‘I’m an idiot. What can I say? I think I’m going through a
mid-life crisis. A beautiful, young woman starting paying me attention and I
lost my head.’

‘
You
seemed to be paying
her
quite a lot of
attention the last time I saw you. How could you do that, Tony? And in our
house? How long had it been going on? Had you been taking her there on a
regular basis?’

He shook his head. ‘No, darling, I hadn’t. I know you won’t
believe this but that was the one and only time we’d been to the house. It ...
well, it was usually at the restaurant.’

‘Eew! I’m sure the Environmental Health Department would have
something to say about that.’

‘And it had only been a few times.’

‘A few times? After more than twenty years of marriage, you screw
a young girl a few times and decide you want to leave your wife? Well, you
really must have been in love!’

‘No. It was never love. I thought it was but really it was just
... lust. And there’s a big difference, my darling, believe me. I realise that
now.’

‘So you thought you’d turn up here, tell me you’ve changed your
mind and I’d go running back with you and all would be forgiven? Is that it?’

‘Not exactly, no. I realise it might take time for you to forgive
me and forget–’

‘I don’t think I could ever forget. That image is emblazoned on my
mind.’

‘Forgive, then. It’s what Lucy and I want more than anything in
the world.’

‘Lucy? What do you mean, it’s what Lucy wants? She hasn’t said
that to me.’

He smiled lovingly at her and she felt herself beginning to slip.
‘But she has said it to me, darling – every single day since she came here.
Either via text or the phone, saying how much she’s missed me. Missed us as a
family, and Christmas was particularly bad for her. I told her that if even we
... did part, she’d still see me every day, but you know our daughter. She wants
us to be a family. I for one would like to give that back to her. Wouldn’t
you?’

Verity was speechless. This was news to her, except the part about
Christmas Day. That part Verity knew was true and Lucy had admitted that to
her. Was it all true? Was what Tony telling her, the truth? Was it breaking
Lucy’s heart to see them apart? She’d do anything not to cause her daughter
pain. Anything at all.

‘Lucy hasn’t told me that,’ she murmured.

‘She probably didn’t want to hurt you. Let’s ask her now?
Together? She’ll tell you it’s the truth. I’ll get her.’

He got up from the bed and went to look for Lucy, leaving Verity
feeling as if that bloody ski-bus was following her around and hitting her on
purpose. She almost wished it would just finish the job.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Tony
returned ten minutes later, his arm around Lucy and a broad smile on his face.
Lucy looked a little anxious and her eyes darted from her father to Verity and
back again.

‘Dad says you’re getting back together! Is that true?’

Verity almost choked but she managed to stop herself, for Lucy’s
sake. Lucy didn’t look quite as thrilled as Tony had made out but she did look
as though such news would please her. She also looked as if she had serious
doubts about the truth of the statement.

‘Well, it’s a bit too soon to say that but ... would it make you
happy if we did?’ Verity asked almost wishing Lucy would say, “No, I’d hate the
idea. Don’t give it another thought.”

‘Of course it would,’ Lucy said, smiling. ‘But only if it’s really
what you both want.’ Again, her eyes darted from Verity to Tony.

‘It’s definitely what I want,’ Tony said. ‘To be a family once
again. To do the things we used to do. I can’t believe I nearly threw it all
away and for what? Sex with someone I hardly knew! How stupid is that! I won’t
make that mistake again. We’ll bring back the excitement in our lives. We’ll do
things together. It’ll be perfect – just perfect.’

‘Is ... this really what you want, Mum?’ Lucy still looked very
doubtful even though she was smiling.

‘I wonder, Tony, would you give Lucy and me some time to talk?’

He hesitated and bit his lower lip – just like Lucy did when she
was anxious, Verity thought – but he smiled.

‘Of course. I’ll tell you what, I’ll go and see if I can find a
nice restaurant and if you’re feeling up to it later, darling, we can go out
for dinner – just the three of us.’

‘No!’ Verity said rather abruptly. ‘I mean, I’m not feeling up to
going out this evening, Tony. I’m sure you can see that?’

‘Of course. What am I thinking? I’m just so happy, so excited. I
feel like this is a whole new start for us. For all of us. I’ll leave you two
and come back later.’ He kissed Verity on the cheek, gave Lucy a hug and left
the room.

‘Is this truly what you want, Mum? What about Josh? I thought ...’
Her voice trailed off and she fiddled with the top of Verity’s duvet.

Verity cleared her throat. ‘I ... haven’t actually said yes, yet,
darling. There are still a few things we need to talk through but is this what
you
want?’

‘Me? It doesn’t matter about me. It’s you two I want to be happy.’

‘But you miss your father, don’t you? Tell me the truth, darling.’

Lucy nodded. ‘Yes, of course I do. But I don’t want the two of you
to get back together just for me. I’m a big girl now and once the season’s over
here, I’ll probably go travelling with Jo, or I’ll maybe go to Australia for
the summer or ... Well, what I’m saying is, I won’t be around much, so it
doesn’t matter what I want.’

‘Of course it does. Your father tells me that you’ve been talking
or texting every day.’

Lucy shrugged. ‘We have. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want
you to be upset or ... feel I’d betrayed you or something.’

‘Betrayed me? Why would I feel that? He’s your father, darling and
I’ve told you, you have every right to miss him and love him and talk to him
every day, every hour, every second, if that’s what makes you happy. Please
don’t ever think I’d mind about that.’

Lucy nodded. ‘Okay. And Josh?’

Verity couldn’t answer immediately; she simply stroked her
daughter’s hair and hugged her instead.

‘Josh is a wonderful man and what we had was very special but ...
it was just one night and I’ve only known him for a few weeks. I’ve known and
loved your father for most of my life. You can’t throw everything away for just
one night.’

‘Dad did.’

‘Yes, but he says he made a mistake and now he wants to put that
right.’

‘You don’t think Josh was a mistake, do you? You ... seemed so
happy with him, Mum. Are you really sure this is what you want?’

Verity shook her head and tried to stop the tears from falling.
‘I’m not really sure of anything right now except that Josh definitely wasn’t a
mistake. But we must face reality, darling. Josh has his life and I have mine.
We’re from totally different planets as far as lifestyle goes.’

‘What does that mean? You said it didn’t matter that Etienne is
rich and I’m not. Why should it matter about Josh being rich?’

‘It doesn’t and that’s not what I meant. Look at our home compared
to his. Look at the way we live compared to him. We ... we’re an ordinary
family from suburbia. Josh is a carefree bachelor who lives in a ski resort and
owns several ski chalets. He has no ties and he clearly likes it that way. The
only woman he came close to settling down with had to trick him into it. I like
having a family. I like being married. Well, I did. I don’t want to flit from
one man to another like Grandma does. I want stability.’

‘And Dad offers you stability?’

‘Yes.’

‘Even though just a few weeks ago he said he was leaving? What if
he does it again?’

‘We’ll have to cross that bridge if we come to it, won’t we?’

‘So ... so that’s it then? You’re going back with Dad.’

‘I ... I think so. But not right away. I’ll stay on at the chalet
until ... Well, perhaps Jo will be able to come out soon. You said her ankle
isn’t quite as bad as she first thought and that it’s healing well. Perhaps
she’ll be able to join you in a couple of weeks. I’ll ... go home then. You’d
like to have Jo here, wouldn’t you?’

Lucy nodded. ‘Yeah, I suppose so. But ... I don’t know. Somehow
this just doesn’t feel right.’

Verity felt exactly the same way.

***

‘You’re doing what?’ Laura said when Verity told her later that
day that she and Tony were thinking of trying again. ‘I’m calling the doctors
because you clearly hit your head in that avalanche. Are you mad?’

‘Perhaps. But it makes sense – and it’s what we all want – Lucy,
Tony and I. We want to be a family again. I know you don’t agree and I know you
don’t like it but if I decide to do this, I really hope you’ll respect my
decision and support me.’

Laura shook her head in disbelief. ‘And what about Josh?’

‘Why does everyone keep asking me about Josh! I’ve only known the
man for a few weeks and it’s not as if it was going anywhere!’

‘A few weeks when you’ve been really happy, according to Lucy.
Well, most of the time anyway, when you weren’t assuming he was a serial chalet
girl dater or a woman-beater. Yes, Lucy told me about it. And you said yourself
that you’ve never had sex like it.’

‘But sex isn’t everything, Mother. I don’t want–’

‘You don’t want what? To be like me? I know you hate my lifestyle,
but it is
my
life and I’ll live it the way I see fit. And I’ll tell you
that story I was going to tell you earlier. Move over and let me sit. Where’s
Lucy? She should hear this too. Lucy?’ Laura yelled.

Lucy ran along the hall. ‘Yes?’

‘Come and sit with us. I’m telling you both an important story.
It’s about Noah.’

‘Noah? Has everyone gone mad today? Why are you telling us
biblical stories, Grandma? And I haven’t got time for this anyway. I’ve got to
get to the chalet and help Christelle prepare dinner.’

‘Biblical stories? Oh! Noah! Not that Noah, darling. This isn’t a
story about a flood. It’s about me and how I lost the love of my life by making
the wrong decision. Very much like your mother is about to do unless we stop
her.’

‘Oh God! You’re going on about Dad again, aren’t you? I think I’d
rather hear about Noah and the flood.’

‘Lucy, darling, do sit down. Christelle and the chalet can wait.
This is important. And it’s not about your dad. Well, not directly, anyway.’

‘Five minutes, Grandma, then I’ve got to go.’

‘It’ll only take three. Now sit down. And no interruptions.’ Laura
began: ‘I was married to your father, Verity. We’d been married a few years –
you were four at the time. He was away on business. He was always travelling.
Not that you’d remember that, you were too young. Anyway, I needed the sitting
room decorated and – to cut a long story short – I hired someone via an advert
in the local paper. His name was Noah and he was the same age as me. He was
handsome and he had the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen. To this day in fact.’

‘Don’t tell me,’ Verity said. ‘You had an affair.’

‘I told you, darling, no interruptions. But yes, I had an affair.
My first – but not just any affair. From the minute we saw one another it was
as if we were two halves come together as one. That sounds corny but it’s true.
For four weeks we were never apart. But then my husband returned and Noah gave
me a choice. Leave and go away with him, or stay with my husband.’

‘So you left and that was how it all began,’ Verity said.

‘So I stayed – and I never saw Noah again. He emigrated to Canada
shortly after. That’s where he wanted me to go with him. It broke my heart
then. It still breaks my heart today. I was miserable and I made my husband
miserable too. Noah was the love of my life but I didn’t realise it until he’d
gone. I’ve been looking for that same feeling I shared with him, ever since. As
I’m now divorcing husband number five, you’ll realise I haven’t found it. Oh,
and the sitting room never did get decorated.’

She shook her head and laughed but even Verity could see the
sadness in her mother’s eyes. ‘Why didn’t you tell me this before?’

‘It wasn’t relevant.’

‘Why didn’t you go with Noah, Grandma?’

‘It was because of me, wasn’t it?’ Verity interrupted. ‘Didn’t he
want you to take your child?’

‘Oh, Noah was more than happy to be a father to you. I couldn’t do
it to your real father though. Canada is miles away from England and your
father loved you very much. I couldn’t do that to him. I was also worried that
if I had, he would somehow have managed to get custody of you and take you from
me and I couldn’t bear that. He had all the right contacts and he was a person
to be reckoned with.’

‘Mum! So you gave up the love of your life ... for me?’

‘Oh, don’t make it sound so dramatic, darling. I’d do it again if
I had to and I don’t regret that. What I regret is closing the door so firmly
on Noah. I had no idea where he’d gone and no way of finding him. And I should
have taken the chance. I should have gone with him but I was too scared of
leaving my home, my life, my security, for something unknown. For someone
unknown, really.’

‘Bloody hell, Grandma! That’s ... really sad.’

‘Yes, it is. And I don’t want either of you to make the same
mistake I did.’

‘But ... when I followed my heart and married Tony, you were dead
set against it. Why?’

‘Because Tony never looked at you the way Noah looked at me. And I
don’t care what you say, that man is
not
the love of your life. I’m
absolutely convinced of that!’ 

***

‘Have you seen, Josh, Mum?’ Verity asked Laura the next morning.

‘Very briefly, darling. He was just going out when I came down at
seven. He took Mistral with him and he said he’d probably be out all day
because he was off to Val Thorens and then to some building plot or something.
Although how one can have a building plot in several feet of snow is really
quite beyond me.’

‘Oh!’ Verity slumped onto a kitchen chair. ‘I was hoping to talk
to him but I didn’t hear him come home last night and I overslept this morning.
Did he say anything to you ... about me or about Tony?’

‘Not a word. And I didn’t say anything to him. He seemed in a bit
of a mood to be honest, darling. Do you think Tony has said something about the
two of you getting back together?’

‘That’s what’s worrying me. I’m not sure that Josh will ultimately
care that much either way but I’d still like to talk to him.’

‘Are you still considering going back to Tony then?  Even after I
told you about Noah?’

‘I don’t know, Mum. That’s the point. I want to talk to Josh to
see ... well, I don’t know what but I just want to talk to him. He didn’t
exactly beg me not to when he told me yesterday that was the reason Tony was
here. All he said was that Tony didn’t deserve me.’

‘You see! Everyone can see it except you. And Lucy of course, but
he’s her father so I wouldn’t expect her to. I know you never take my advice
but I really do wish you’d stay here and give this thing with you and Josh a
chance. Tell Tony that you need time to think. If he loves you as much as he
makes out, he’ll give you the time you need. Just don’t tell him why.’

‘Mum! That’s deceitful. I’m not doing that again. The bank account
is bad enough.’

‘Oh dear, he’s taken you to task over that, has he?’

‘What? Who? Tony? I haven’t told him about it. I swore to you I
wouldn’t and I haven’t. I keep my promises, Mother.’

‘I know you do, darling. And I think that’s half the problem here.
You promised “until death us do part” and you meant it. Anyway, Tony knows
about the account. He found the statements when he was looking for his
passport. Hasn’t he mentioned it?’