A Soldier's Journey (24 page)

“Where's Nate?” Clint asked.

“He's finishing up at our work site,” Josh said. “He and Craig said they would be a little late.”

“No need to wait,” Clint said. “I hear we have a ringer here. I want to see for myself.”

All the guys looked at Andy and she gave them a mock salute.

“Always ready,” she said.

Because Clint had missed a lot of meetings, he was given the honor of selecting the game. They were thirty minutes into the fourth hand when Nate and Craig arrived. Contrary to his warning, he'd obviously cleaned up. His hair was still damp and his jeans and T-shirt fresh. It was stretched against a very manly chest. Andy looked away.

It would have been a fine evening if she were not so aware of Nate sitting across from her, his gaze catching hers, his mouth laughing with hers at some terrible joke. The room seemed a lot warmer than it was when she'd first entered.

Her concentration was not the best, and although she won her share of hands, Craig was the big winner when the session broke up. Only then did she realize that the others were looking from Nate to her and back again.

Had she been so obvious? She was sure then that she was flushed.

As they gathered their nickels and cleared the table, an older vet looked at her. “What's all this talk about an outdoor show?”

She had no idea of what she should or should not say, so she reverted to the cliché that popped into her head. “If I told you, I would have to kill you.”

Clint laughed and addressed the group. “What she's trying to say is no one in town, including those of us on the committee, knows exactly what we're doing. Right now, we're talking about an outdoor pageant based on Angus Monroe's founding of Covenant Falls. We're all operating on blind faith now, hoping everything will fall into place. Craig is asking for volunteers to build a stage and I want to talk to anyone who can play an instrument or sing. If any of your wives or kids or friends or neighbors are interested, there will be auditions next Saturday.”

“It's really going to happen, then?”

“We hope,” Clint said.

“Well, count me in,” one of the vets said, and the others nodded their heads. They all piled their remaining nickels in their individual cans, packed them in a box and put it at the bottom of the bar. Covenant Falls was certainly the most trusting place she'd ever lived.

Several vets left and others stayed and helped clean up. Bill said he had to leave and asked Andy to lock up. She'd been given a key that morning, another case of blind faith. Covenant Falls seemed to thrive on it.

One by one the vets drifted out. Andy put the last chair to the side. She turned around. Nate was putting the remaining beers into the fridge. She realized she and Nate were the only two left. Well, two and a dog. Maybe that was what she'd wanted.

“Are we through?” she asked.

“Yeah, think so.”

“Isn't the women's club going to be horrified to find beer in the fridge?”

“I think they are quite aware of the nefarious activities here on Monday nights,” he said. “Would you and Joseph like a lift home?”

She should say no. She'd known what would happen if she lingered, but she'd lingered anyway.

“Just a ride,” he said.

She nodded. “I think Joseph would approve of that.”

He nodded. They left the room together and locked up. The park was empty tonight, the swings swaying slightly with the breeze coming from the lake.

The moon was almost full and the sky was filled with stars above the mountain peaks. Andy took a deep breath. The air was so clean, so fresh.

She closed her eyes with just the pure pleasure of it.

“This is one reason I came back,” he said, and she knew he had read her thoughts. “I understand why Al wants to keep it this way. If it were possible, I would, as well. But we can't. We stay still, and we die.”

“My town did,” she said. “All that's left are people like my mother, who was born there and nearly everyone she loves is buried there. But unlike Covenant Falls, it has no chance of reviving. The mines ruined the beauty of the mountains. It won't come back.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Me, too. Not for my sake. But for the people trapped there.” They walked to his pickup. Joseph jumped up and Nate held the door open while she stepped up into the passenger seat. Then he was next to her, and they were riding down Lake Road to the cabin.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

A
NDY
HAD
LEFT
a light on in the cabin, and now it looked like a welcoming beacon. How quickly the cabin had become home.

She swallowed hard. Everything was happening so fast, and perhaps nothing as quickly as her feelings for Nate Rowland. She looked at him as he parked the car. Everything about him was relaxed. Easy. Comfortable.

Except...

Except for the way he made her feel inside. She was not comfortable at all with the way he made her blood warm and her heart beat faster.

Had Angus felt that way about Chiweta?

The thought was fleeting as Nate opened the passenger door and took her good hand to help her down.

He put his arm around her waist just as Jared had done when they were alone. She had relished the feeling she'd had when he did that, as if they belonged to each other...

“What is it?” he asked as she realized she'd come to a sudden halt.

“Nothing,” she lied. But she fumbled with the cabin key. He took it from her and turned it in the lock.

Then he stood there in the doorway, and she recalled his comment.
Just a ride.
She didn't want him to go and yet she felt guilt at that admission. Jared was still in her mind and heart. But so was Nate. New to it, but his presence was just as strong.

“Do you think Angus loved Chiweta?” she asked suddenly.

“Yes,” he said. “He didn't have to marry her legally. According to lore, there was a Ute ceremony, and then three years later a traveling minister married them again legally. They had two daughters then. Isn't that in the journal?”

“I haven't read that part yet,” she said. “I did read about the first wedding.”

“The settlement was growing then,” he said. “Chiweta was with child and I expect the newcomers had difficulty accepting a Ute woman whom they considered unmarried. A marriage was protection for them and their children. It still must have been difficult for both of them.”

“I like him more and more,” Andy said.

“From all the rumors over the years, he had a ruthless side,” Nate said, “but I think almost anyone who succeeded out here in that time period was probably ruthless. There was a lot of land grabbing, and at one time the family owned a great deal of land around here.”

“But he had his dream?” she said.

“I think that came later,” Nate said thoughtfully. “From what I read in the excerpts, he didn't have many options after he sold everything in Scotland and traveled to save his brother. That was his original purpose, according to the journal. When his brother died, I rather imagine he wanted to build something that would be lasting, maybe for his brother, maybe for himself. Maybe for his children.”

“Three, right? That's what is in his Bible. Could there have been more?”

Nate reached out and put his arms around her. “I doubt it. Never heard of any other.” Nate studied her. “You're really becoming invested in him, aren't you?”

She nodded. “Reading the journal entries makes me feel as if I know him. He cared about people. He's beginning to feel very real.”

“Remember, there could be warts there, too.”

She looked up at him. “I sense ambivalence.”

He leaned down and kissed her, almost reverently this time, and the sensations were warm and tender beyond anything she'd ever felt. She looked up into his eyes. Intense now. The green in them seemed even more pronounced. She lifted her good hand and traced his mouth with its wry smile and up to the faint lines around his eyes that told her his life had not always been easy.

Her arms went around his neck and his tightened around her shoulders, the warmth of them drifting through her body. Their bodies pressed together and she felt the restrained passion and strength in his. She trembled from its impact as they both stood there.

She wanted him. She needed him. She knew he wanted the same, and yet she knew he was restraining herself. “I said I was just driving you home,” he whispered as if reading her mind.

“I know,” she said, her innate honesty prompting the confession. “But we both knew...”

She didn't finish the sentence. His mouth came down on hers. His lips were smooth and strong and yet so very gentle. But then the gentleness turned into need that met her own.

His kiss deepened at her response and her body gravitated toward his. She felt him throb against her, and fires began to glow inside.

His body shuddered. He broke off the kiss. “Are you sure, Andy?”

“Yes,” she said simply and knew she meant it.

“I do have protection this time.”

“I thought you might,” she replied. She might regret this tomorrow, but now it felt right. Very right.

Without any additional words, she led him into the bedroom, leaving Joseph outside as she closed the door. Nate slowly undressed her, then she slipped his shirt over his head. Her hands ran up and down his chest and lingered at the scar.

She leaned against him and memories were alive between them. Still painful but somehow lessened in intensity by the sharing.

Then they were on the bed. She wasn't aware of which one of them had initiated the move. Or had it been in tandem?

He kissed her, so slowly, so tenderly she thought her heart would explode. “Sure?” he asked in a husky whisper.

“Oh, yes,” she said, amazed at her answer and even more amazed that it was true.

He gave her that slow smile that always warmed her, then his hands caressed her body. Slow and seductive. He kissed her again, touching her lips with feather-like gentleness. His fingers cradled her breasts and moved downward, and she felt a warmth so sensual, so exquisite she could barely keep from crying out. He worked more magic as his hands moved down and touched the most intimate part of her body. The warm puddling inside turned into rivers of fire.

She was a mass of writhing nerve ends when he arched his body above and she pulled him down to her.

He entered her slowly, tentatively, and she moved shamelessly against him as she savored the feel of her body against his taut, hard one. He moved sensuously, slowly, like a dance building to a climax, each movement deepening the craving that was growing inside. Heat flooded her as his rhythm increased and he probed deeper and deeper until she thought he could go no farther, then bursts of pleasure rolled from her deepest core.

He collapsed on her and turned so they were side by side as echoes of sensations still rumbled through her.

He kissed her and she felt tears behind her eyes. She didn't know why. But then they started coming, trickling down her face.

“I haven't cried in a long time,” she said.

“Are they good tears or sad ones?”

“Good, I think.” Then in a stronger voice. “I know.”

He smiled and it was one she thought she would always remember. “Then, cry,” he said with a voice so tender it prompted more tears. He stroked her face while the tears came faster.

Nate just held her as they poured out for the first time since she'd woken up in the hospital after the attack. They came as she mourned Jared. She realized they were unlocking the grief and guilt bottled up inside.

Lying there, wrapped tightly in Nate's arms, she started to feel whole again. She would always have images of Jared, of the others, of that day in Afghanistan darting in and out of her head. She knew enough of PTSD to know that. But now maybe she could live with it.
Live.
Not just exist.

She held on to Nate while the tears dried. She stayed there when he stood. “Don't move,” he said and left, returning quickly with a wet cloth and Joseph on his heels. Nate sat next to her, washed the tears from her face, then kissed her again. “You're beautiful, you know.”

“I think my face is red, along with my eyes,” she said critically.

“Doesn't matter,” he said as she nestled in his ready embrace, resting her head against his chest. She ran her hands against his suntanned arms. There was so much strength in them, so much strength in him.

Nate looked down at her, concern in his eyes. Concern and a caring that made her heart melt. “I don't want you to regret anything.”

She touched his face. Ran her fingers over the angles, then through the chestnut-colored hair. She wanted him again. He made her feel safe, and she'd needed that. But there was more. So much more.

Heat.

She'd had the latter with Jared. Lightning and thunder, too, but they'd never shared the easy companionship she'd felt with Nate since the day she'd arrived. There was the lightning, but there was also the soft evening sky.

Guilt struck her again like a rushing, swollen river. How could she...even think that?

Nate's arms tightened around her, and she realized he knew exactly what she was thinking. But then, he had since they first met.

She leaned her head against his heart. “I...”

“I know,” he said softly.

“He saved my life,” she said. “He moved in front of me.”

He was silent for a moment, then his arms tightened around her. “For a reason,” Nate said. “He wanted you to live. He'll always be a part of your heart. But there's room in there for others, as well.”

“It's been so quick...”

“I've been told it happens that way some times,” he said in a slow deep voice. “I saw it with Josh and Eve, then Clint and Stephanie. I didn't think it would happen to me. But the moment I saw you...”

“It took me a week,” she said. “Almost.”

He grinned. “There's them that are fast and them that are slow.”

He stayed another hour, just holding her. He didn't promise anything.

She didn't want promises, and with that weird understanding of his, he seemed to recognize it. It was enough at the moment to talk of little things, the music they liked, the books they read and the dreams they'd had.

It was midnight when he finally dressed. They both had long days ahead, he with the construction job and she with meetings. She put on her long T-shirt she wore at night and walked him to the door.

“You think anyone...”

He reached down and kissed her. “I wouldn't lay odds against it,” he said.

She felt her face flame.

“They'll pretend they don't,” he added helpfully.

She shoved him playfully.

“I'll call you tomorrow when I finish up. Maybe we can have dinner at the Rusty Nail.”

She nodded.

“No regrets?”

“No,” she said and was startled that it was true.

* * *

A
NDY
WOKE
AFTER
a dreamless night. The sun was streaming through the window and she looked at the clock. Seven. Joseph looked up from his place at the end of the bed and crept closer, wanting a hug. “Ah, Joseph,” she said, opening her arms as he inched into them.

She lay there for several more minutes, then rose. No nightmare. No dreams. She took a deep breath. What had happened last night? Magic? A huge mistake? Joseph gave her a big dog grin.

She quickly dressed in jeans and a shirt, fed Joseph, made coffee, then left for her morning walk up the mountain. Joseph gave up his usual dignified manner and ran in circles once they left the front door. They headed for the mountain trail. She would really love to go to the falls, but today was going to be busy. She had tonight to look forward to. Would the magic still be there?

The mountain had become her confessor, her comforter, her peace. It seemed especially beautiful this morning. The sky was bluer, the air fresher, the wildflowers brighter. Even Joseph seemed to have a special energy. Perhaps he had sensed that something had changed with her.

She didn't know whether it would last, whether something so fast could have staying power. Maybe it was like a display of fireworks. Spectacular but short-lived.

For a moment, grief struck her. “I won't forget you,” she whispered into the air. “You were my first love.” She remembered what Nate had said last night. Jared would always be a part of her. She took a deep breath.

A sudden breeze touched her face, ruffled her hair, but it didn't seem to rustle the trees. A bird sang a sweet note. She stood still.

Peace filled her. “You're here, aren't you,” she said, and tears crept into her eyes.

Joseph whined next to her. She reached down and touched him. “It's okay,” she said.

And it was. She looked down at the town. It looked different from the first time she'd glimpsed it. Then it was just a pretty town. Now she could pick out places that meant something to her, people who had befriended her in such a short time and the man who had given her a gift last night. They all had. They had believed in her when she didn't believe in herself.

“Goodbye, Jared.”

She turned and left.