A Son Of The Circus (12 page)

‘Dear boy,’ said the doctor, ‘what will you do?’

Dhar’s answer shouldn’t have surprised Dr Daruwalla as forcefully as it did; the doctor had heard the response many times, in every Inspector Dhar movie. After all, Farrokh had
written
the response. ‘What will I do?’ Dhar asked himself aloud. ‘Find out who it is and get them.’

‘Don’t speak to me in character!’ Dr Daruwalla said sharply. ‘You’re not in a movie now!’

‘I’m always in a movie,’ Dhar snapped. ‘I was
born
in a movie! Then I was almost immediately put into another movie, wasn’t I?’

Since Dr Daruwalla and his wife thought they were the only people in Bombay who knew exactly where the younger man had come from and everything about who he was, it was the doctor’s turn to keep quiet. In our hearts, Dr Daruwalla thought, there must abide some pity for those people who have always felt themselves to be separate from even their most familiar surroundings, those people who either are foreigners or who suffer a singular point of view that makes them
feel
as if they’re foreigners – even in their native lands. In our hearts, Farrokh knew, there also abides a certain suspicion that such people need to feel set apart from their society. But people who initiate their loneliness are no less lonely than those who are suddenly surprised by loneliness, nor are they undeserving of our pity – Dr Daruwalla felt certain of that. However, the doctor was unsure if he’d been thinking of Dhar or of himself.

Then Farrokh realized he was alone at the table; Dhar had departed as eerily as he’d arrived. The glint of Mr Sethna’s silver serving tray caught Dr Daruwalla’s eye, reminding him of that shiny something which the crow had held so briefly in its beak.

The old steward reacted to Dr Daruwalla’s recognition as if summoned. ‘I’ll have a Kingfisher, please,’ the doctor said.

The late-afternoon light cast longer and longer shadows in the Ladies’ Garden, and Dr Daruwalla gloomily observed that the bright pink of the bougainvillea had turned a darker shade; it seemed to him that the flowers had a blood-red hue, although this was an exaggeration – quite characteristic of the creator of Inspector Dhar. In reality, the bougainvillea was as pink (and as white) as before.

Later, Mr Sethna grew alarmed that the doctor hadn’t touched his favorite beer.

‘Is there something wrong?’ the old steward asked, his long finger indicating the Kingfisher lager.

‘No, no – it’s not the beer!’ Farrokh said; he took a swallow that gave him little comfort. ‘The beer is fine,’ he said.

Old Mr Sethna nodded as if he knew everything that was troubling Dr Daruwalla; Mr Sethna presumed to know such things routinely.

‘I know, I know,’ muttered the old Parsi. ‘The old days are gone – it’s not like the old days.’

Insipid truths were an area of Mr Sethna’s expertise that Dr Daruwalla found most irritating. The next thing you know, Farrokh thought, the tedious old fool will tell me that I’m not my esteemed late father. Truly, the steward seemed on the verge of making another observation when an unpleasant sound came from the dining room; it reached Mr Sethna and Dr Daruwalla in the Ladies’ Garden with the crass, attention-getting quality of a man cracking his knuckles.

Mr Sethna went to investigate. Without moving from his chair, Farrokh already knew what was making the sound. It was the ceiling fan, the one the crow had landed on and used as a shitting platform. Perhaps the crow had bent the blade of the fan, or else the bird had knocked a screw loose; maybe the fan was operated by ball bearings running in a groove, and one of these was out of position, or if there was a ball-and-socket joint, it needed grease. The ceiling fan appeared to catch on something; it clicked as it turned. It faltered; it almost stopped but it kept turning. With each revolution, there was a snapping sound, as if the mechanism were about to grind to a halt.

Mr Sethna stood under the fan, staring stupidly up at it. He probably doesn’t remember the shitting crow, Dr Daruwalla thought. The doctor was readying himself to take charge of the situation when the unpleasant noise simply stopped. The ceiling fan turned freely, as before. Mr Sethna looked all around, as if he weren’t sure how he’d arrived at this spot in the dining room. Then the steward’s gaze fixed upon the Ladies’ Garden, where Farrokh was still sitting. He’s not the man his father was, the old Parsi thought.

Dr Lowji Daruwalla took a personal interest in the crippling conditions affecting children. As a child, he’d developed tuberculosis of the spine. Although he recovered sufficiently to become India’s most famous pioneer in orthopedic surgery, he always said it was his own experience with spinal deformity – the fatigue and the pain imposed on him – that made his commitment to the care of cripples so steadfast and long-enduring. ‘A personal injustice is stronger motivation than any instinct for philanthropy,’ Lowji said. He tended to speak in statements. As an adult, he would forever be recognized by the telltale gibbousness of Pott’s disease. All his life, Lowji was as humpbacked as a small, upright camel.

Is it any wonder that his son Farrokh felt inferior to such a commitment? He would enter his father’s field, but only as a follower; he would continue to pay his respects to India, but he’d always feel he was a mere visitor. Education and travel can be humbling; the younger Dr Daruwalla took naturally to feelings of intellectual inferiority. Possibly Farrokh too simplistically attributed his alienation to the one conviction in his life that was as paralyzing as his conversion to Christianity: that he was utterly without a sense of place, that he was a man without a country, that there was nowhere he could go where he felt he belonged — except the circus and the Duckworth Club.

But what can be said about a man who keeps his needs and his obsessions largely to himself? When a man expresses what he’s afraid of, his fears and longings undergo revision in the telling and retelling — friends and family have their own ways of altering the material – and soon the so-called fears and longings become almost comfortable with overuse. But Dr Daruwalla held his feelings inside himself. Not even his wife knew how out of it the doctor felt in Bombay –and how could she, if he wouldn’t tell her? Since Julia was Viennese, however little Dr Daruwalla knew about India, he knew more than she did. And ‘at home’ in Toronto, Farrokh allowed Julia to be the authority; she was the boss there. This was an easy privilege for the doctor to extend to his wife because she believed that he was in charge in Bombay. For so many years now, he’d got away with this.

Of course his wife knew about the screenplays – but only that he wrote them, not what he truly felt about them. Farrokh was careful to speak lightly of them to Julia. He was quite good at mocking them; after all, they were a joke to everyone else – it was easy for Farrokh to convince his wife that the Inspector Dhar movies were just a joke to him. More important, Julia knew how much Dhar (the dear boy) meant to him. So what if she had no idea how much the screenplays meant to Farrokh, too? And so these things, because they were so deeply concealed, were more important to Dr Daruwalla than they should have been.

As for Farrokh’s not belonging, surely the same could never be said of his father. Old Lowji liked to complain about India, and the nature of his complaints was often puerile. His medical colleagues chided him for his intrepid criticism of India; it was fortunate for his patients, they said, that his surgical procedures were more careful – and more accurate. But if Lowji was off-the-wall about his own country, at least it
was
his own country, Farrokh thought.

A founder of the Hospital for Crippled Children in Bombay and the chairman of India’s first Infantile Paralysis Commission, the senior Daruwalla published monographs on polio and various bone diseases that were the best of his day. A master surgeon, he perfected procedures for the correction of deformities, such as clubfoot, spinal curvature and wryneck. A superb linguist, he read the work of Little in English, of Stromeyer in German, of Guerin and Bouvier in French. An outspoken atheist, Lowji Daruwalla nevertheless persuaded the Jesuits to establish clinics, both in Bombay and in Poona, for the study and treatment of scoliosis, paralysis due to birth injuries, and poliomyelitis. It was largely Muslim money that he secured to pay for a visiting roentgenologist at the Hospital for Crippled Children; it was wealthy Hindus he hit on for the research and treatment programs he initiated for arthritis. Lowji even wrote a sympathy letter to U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, an Episcopalian, mentioning the number of Indians who suffered from the president’s condition; he received a polite reply and a personal check.

Lowji made a name for himself in the short-lived movement called Disaster Medicine, especially during the demonstrations prior to Independence and the bloody rioting before and after the Partition. To this day, volunteer workers in Disaster Medicine attempt to revive the movement by quoting his much-advertised advice. ‘In order of importance, look for dramatic amputations and severe extremity injuries before treating fractures or lacerations. Best to leave all head injuries to the experts, if there are any.’ Any experts, he meant – there were always head injuries. (Privately, he referred to the failed movement as Riot Medicine — ‘something India will always be in need of,’ old Lowji said.)

He was the first in India to respond to the revolutionary change in thinking about the origin of low back pain, for which he said the credit belonged to Harvard’s Joseph Seaton Barr. Admittedly, Farrokh’s esteemed father was better remembered at the Duckworth Sports Club for his ice treatments of tennis elbow and his habit, when drinking, of denouncing the waiters for their deplorable posture. (‘Look at me! I have a hump, and I’m still standing up straighter than you!’) In reverence of the great Dr Lowji Daruwalla, rigidity of the spine was a habit ferociously maintained by the old Parsi steward Mr Sethna.

Why, then, did the younger Dr Daruwalla
not
revere his late father?

It wasn’t because Farrokh was the second-born son and the youngest of Lowji’s three children; he’d never felt slighted. Farrokh’s elder brother, Jamshed, who’d led Farrokh to Vienna and now practiced child psychiatry in Zurich, had also led Farrokh to the idea of a European wife. But old Lowji never opposed mixed marriages – not on principle, surely, and not in the case of Jamshed’s Viennese bride, whose younger sister married Farrokh. Julia became old Lowji’s favorite in-law; he preferred her company even to the London otologist who married Farrokh’s sister – and Lowji Daruwalla was an unabashed Anglophile. After Independence, Lowji admired and clung to whatever Englishness endured in India.

But the source of Farrokh’s lack of reverence for his famous father wasn’t old Lowji’s ‘Englishness,’ either. His many years in Canada had made a moderate Anglophile out of the younger Dr Daruwalla. (Granted, Englishness in Canada is quite different from in India – not politically tainted, always socially acceptable; many Canadians like the British.)

And that old Lowji was outspoken in his loathing for Mohandas K. Gandhi did not upset Farrokh in the slightest. At dinner parties, especially with non-Indians in Toronto, the younger Daruwalla was quite pleased at the surprise he could instantly evoke by quoting his late father on the late Mahatma.

‘He was a bloody charka-spinning, loin-clothed pandit!’ the senior Daruwalla had complained. ‘He dragged his religion into his political activism – then he turned his political activism into a religion.’ And the old man was unafraid of expressing his views in India — and not only in the safety of the Duckworth Club. ‘Bloody Hindus … bloody Sikhs … bloody Muslims,’ he would say. ‘And bloody Parsis, too!’ he would add, if the more fervent of the Zoroastrian faith pressed him for some display of Parsi loyalty. ‘Bloody Catholics,’ he would murmur on those rare occasions when he appeared at St Ignatius – only to attend those dreadful school plays in which his own sons took small parts.

Old Lowji declared that dharma was ‘sheer complacency – nothing but a justification for nondoing.’ He said that caste and the upholding of untouchability was ‘nothing but the perpetual worship of shit – if you worship shit, most naturally you must declare it the duty of certain people to take the shit away!’ Absurdly, Lowji presumed he was permitted to make such irreverent utterances because the evidence of his dedication to crippled children was unparalleled.

He railed that India was without an ideology. ‘Religion and nationalism are our feeble substitutes for constructive ideas,’ he pronounced. ‘Meditation is as destructive to the individual as caste, for what is it but a way of diminishing the self? Indians follow groups instead of their own ideas: we subscribe to rituals and taboos instead of establishing goals for social change –for the improvement of our society. Move the bowels before breakfast, not after! Who cares? Make the woman wear a veil! Why bother? Meanwhile, we have no rules against filth, against chaos!’

In such a sensitive country, brashness is frankly stupid. In retrospect, the younger Dr Daruwalla realized that his father was a car bomb waiting to happen. No one – not even a doctor devoted to crippled children –can go around saying that ‘karma is the bullshit that keeps India a backward country.’ The idea that one’s present life, however horrible, is the acceptable payment for one’s life in the past may fairly be said to be a rationale for doing nothing conducive to self-improvement, but it’s surely best
not
to call such a belief ‘bullshit.’ Even as a Parsi, and as a convert to Christianity – and although Farrokh was never a Hindu – the younger Dr Daruwalla saw that his father’s overstatements were unwise.

But if old Lowji was dead set against Hindus, he was equally offensive in speaking of Muslims — ‘Everyone should send a Muslim a roast pig for Christmas!’ –and his prescriptions for the Church of Rome were dire indeed. He said that every last Catholic should be driven from Goa, or, preferably, publicly executed in remembrance of the persecutions and burnings at the stake that they themselves had performed. He proposed that ‘the disgusting cruelty depicted on the crucifix shouldn’t be allowed in India’ — he meant the mere sight of Christ on the cross, which he called ‘a kind of Western pornography.’ Furthermore, he declared that all Protestants were closet Calvinists –and that Calvin was a closet Hindu! Lowji meant by this that he loathed anything resembling the acceptance of human wretchedness — not to mention a belief in divine predestination, which Lowji called ‘Christian dharma.’ He was fond of quoting Martin Luther, who had said: ‘What wrong can there be in telling a downright good lie for a good cause and for the advancement of the Christian Church?’ By this Lowji meant that he believed in free will, and in so-called good works, and in ‘no damn God at all.’