A Song in the Night (36 page)

Ciaran hung his head again. “The music’s fast going out of my life, Ros. Beth’s a far better musician than I’ll ever be, and look at her. She can barely play for five minutes now without getting exhausted.”

Rosie was at a loss as to what to say. The whole room seemed suddenly swathed in an atmosphere of despondency. It was claustrophobic, yet she knew it must be so much worse for him. “When will you go?”

“I dunno. I might get a chance to talk to someone this afternoon. I suppose they’ll have to get this infection thing sorted out first before she can travel. After that, I guess the sooner the better. If I only had four months left I’d want to make every minute count.”

Rosie nodded quietly, her jaws set tight. In that moment, she knew she’d have done anything to be going with them.

____________

Gavin was genuinely surprised to hear the news. It was Mel who spilt the beans when she went to meet Dan straight from the gym.

“Poor old Rosie, down here all on her own. She was pretty upset when she told me about it.”

Gavin was thoughtful. “I never did get to meet her brother and his wife. What sort of guy is he?”

“Oh, he’s really nice,” said Mel breezily, omitting to mention the fact that she’d never had more than the most fleeting of conversations with him. “Quiet, serious – y’know, the musical sort.”

“A bit like Robbie Williams, eh?” Dan teased, putting his arm around her shoulder.

Mel frowned, uncomprehending.

“Well
he’s
a musical sort.”

For a moment Mel’s expression was blank. Then she burst into giggles. “Have you heard him, Gavin? He’s sending me up.”

But Gavin was lost in his own world. Mel had given him food for thought.

Later that evening he called Rosie. “Hi, how’s things?”

Rosie was deliberately noncommittal. “Fine. And you?”

Gavin decided to come straight to the point. “I hear Beth and your brother are moving up to Yorkshire.”

Rosie was slightly taken aback. “Good news travels fast, eh? I only found out a few hours ago myself. Guess I have Mel to thank for telling you.”

“You weren’t planning to keep it a secret from me, were you?” Gavin pretended to sound hurt. “I would have thought this was the time to have friends around you.”

Rosie mumbled something to placate him and Gavin seemed satisfied.

“How’s about I pick you up tomorrow and we go and visit Beth at the hospital?”

“
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow’s Sunday,” Rosie spluttered, as though the day made any difference. This was all rather sudden. Since when had Gavin been bothered about wanting to visit Beth? She found herself trying desperately to think of a good reason to turn down his magnanimous offer. “Aren’t you doing anything else?”
Like washing your hair perhaps, or dyeing your eyebrows.

But Gavin wasn’t about to be put off. “I haven’t had chance to meet them yet. I just thought it might be a nice thing to do before they go.”

Rosie’s mind was reeling. “Look, Gavin – I know what visiting times mean to Beth. I think it might be awkward if you were there for any length of time. After all, you
are
a total stranger. I don’t like the idea of her sitting there feeling self-conscious while we all try to make small talk around her bed.”

“Point taken.” Gavin’s voice was clipped.

Inwardly Rosie groaned. “Okay. How’s about this? We go to the hospital together. I go in and have half an hour with her while you go for a coffee in the restaurant. Then you come up to the ward. Just for five minutes or so, to give me chance to introduce you.” Rosie paused. “Then we go home.”
Take it or leave it, sunshine. That’s as much as I’m bending on this one.

Gavin perked up at this idea. After making brief arrangements, Rosie managed to extricate herself from the phone call. But she couldn’t help feeling strangely irritated. Setting up her laptop, she sat drumming her fingers as it was loading. She hardly wanted to admit it, even to herself, but she was hoping beyond hope that there would be a reply from Jonathon. There was.

Hi Rosie –

Don’t like to hear you sounding so fed up. I saw Maisie earlier – she was asking about you. I think she’s quite taken to you.

Sounds like old Sam went through the mill in our last instalment, doesn’t it? Can’t wait to find out what happens next.

Try to keep smiling

Luv Jonathon.

As Rosie stared at the words, memories of her time in Ridderch Standen flooded her mind again. For a few brief moments, she could almost forget the oppression that was pushing in on her. Life had seemed so much slower up there – calmed to a nice, digestible pace. The sky had been open too. Open, vast and majestic – not like the dark, sullen sky that looked down on London. She tried to remonstrate with herself. She was being ridiculous. London was a great place; plenty of people thought so. She’d thought so herself only a few weeks ago. But, she now realised miserably, nowhere was a great place when your heart was somewhere else.

Carlesands January 15th 1917

Well, Emily, here I am just enjoying the last few days of my leave. I’ve finally been declared fit to return to the front, and though I never thought I’d say it, I’m almost glad. Somehow, leave is a difficult business. Small snatches of cosy normality do not sit easily with those who’ve been living in hell. It’s been rather hard fitting in at home. Lovely to see everyone of course – that goes without saying. But the war has done something to me. My eyes have witnessed things my own father could never conceive in his worst nightmares. Set against the backdrop of ordinary civvy life, our experiences seem almost unbelievably grotesque. Only in the trenches themselves do our stories fit comfortably. I fear that those of us who survive this thing will carry our memories, for the most part unspoken, to the grave.

A rather unpleasant experience yesterday, Em. Kitty wanted to go to the big town, so I accompanied her. She was looking in a shop window and I was standing a few paces back. Suddenly a young lady approached me, a strange expression on her face. To be polite, I smiled and removed my cap. Then she stepped right up to me, stared hard at me and said, ‘To think such a brave fellow as yourself is here gazing in shop windows when my own poor brother is buried with most of his pals at Beaumont-Hamel.’ Of course, I was in my civilian clothes, and she could hardly have known that I’d just been shipped home from Ypres having been within a hair’s breadth of death myself. Before I had a chance to explain, she turned on her heel and walked away almost in tears. I’ve never had anyone give me a white feather like some chaps have, but honestly, Em, she might as well have done it. I don’t think Kitty saw any of the business, but I know I was quiet on the way home. It left a rather unpleasant taste in my mouth.

I have to say, I’m very much looking forward to seeing my mates again. I hope they’re all in the pink. I’m being posted back to my old unit which is good news. After an episode like this, a fellow can be sent anywhere.

I called to see your family the other day, Emily. Your brother is recovering well from his wounds, though I don’t think he’ll be seeing any more action in this conflict. Your parents are terribly proud of you even though they miss you dreadfully. They’re not alone in that.

It will be good to be near you again, Em. Even though we’re stationed so far from each other, I know I’ll be closer to you on that side of the channel than on this. For my sake, you must stay safe. This war cannot last forever.

Attaching the diary entry, Rosie typed a quick message to Jonathon.

Hi Jonathon –

Life gets better and better. My brother has just broken the news that he and Beth are moving up to Oak Lodge. Beth wants to spend her last few months back there. Understandable I know, but I’m pretty miserable about it all. Guess I’m being selfish, but I’m gonna miss them like crazy. Keep an eye on them for me. You know how to get hold of me if you feel there’s anything I should know.

Bye for now

Rosie.

PS Tell Maisie I said hello.

____________

The next day on the ward, Rosie felt nervous. In keeping with their arrangement, Gavin had brought her to the hospital then gone off to the restaurant for a drink. Rosie had already forewarned Ciaran and Beth that he’d be putting in a brief appearance at some point. Beth seemed in better spirits today, and Rosie could only deduce that the thought of her impending return to Yorkshire had gone a long way towards bucking her up.

Beth seemed to view the prospect of Gavin’s visit with some amusement. “Wants to meet me before I pop my clogs, does he?”

Rosie smiled but said nothing. Beth was much easier company when her sense of humour was up and running.

“You will come and visit us some weekends, won’t you, Ros?” Beth looked at her directly.

It was an invitation Rosie had been secretly hoping for. “Yeah, course I will. If it’s okay with your mum and dad.”

Beth’s face broke into a smile. “Oh, there’ll be no problem there.”

Just before five, they heard footsteps in the corridor outside followed by a light tap at the cubicle door. It opened to reveal Gavin. It could have been an awkward moment, but Ciaran rose to the occasion. Extending a hand to Gavin, he introduced himself then gestured towards the bed. “This is my wife … Beth.”

Gavin shook Ciaran’s hand enthusiastically, then turned to Beth with a gentle smile. “Hello, it’s great to meet you. Rosie’s talked a lot about you both.”

“All good, I hope?” A sparkle of the old mirth lit up Beth’s pale face.

“Oh yes,” Gavin assured her in a voice that Rosie was convinced could have charmed the birds off the trees. “All good.”

Gavin drew up a chair and seemed surprisingly at ease as he quickly fell into conversation with Ciaran and Beth. After telling them a little about his own job and background, he suddenly turned the discussion round to the topic of classical music. Even though Rosie suspected he was virtually clueless on the subject, his apparent avid interest proved an instant hit with the two musicians. As the moments went by, Rosie could hardly believe what she was hearing. Since when had
he
known the first thing about Max Bruch or Tchaikovsky?
What was that – he likes Khachaturian? Is he having a laugh? I’m surprised he can even pronounce his name.
This was getting scary; Gavin was beginning to sound almost intelligent. He must have spent the whole morning trying to memorize
The A-Z of Classical Composers
specially for the occasion.
Gotta hand it to you, Gav,
she conceded grudgingly,
you’re good. Boy, you are good.
After twenty minutes, he was well into his swing and showing no signs of wanting to leave. Rosie was beginning to feel restless. This was supposed to have been a five minute visit and it was starting to look like they’d be here until throwing out time. Besides, she thought cynically, how could they be sure Gavin’s aftershave wasn’t interacting with Beth’s medication? She tried shuffling in her chair, hoping he would take the hint. Then she made a couple of attempts to look at her watch when she was sure his eyes were focused in her direction. Eventually, she gave up the subtle approach and began to pull on her coat. “Guess we ought to be getting off now, huh…?”

Gavin glanced down at his own watch with a look of surprise. “Is it that time already?” He stood to his feet, zipped up his jacket, and smiled down at Beth. “It’s been great meeting you …” He put his hand out towards Ciaran. “And you, sir.”

As the two men shook hands, Rosie said goodbye to Beth and moved towards the door. Stepping out into the corridor, she didn’t see Gavin lean towards her brother with an air of confidentiality. “Don’t worry about your sister when you go up to Yorkshire. I’ll be looking after her.”

Ciaran smiled gratefully. “Thanks, Gavin. I really appreciate that.”

On their way back to the car park, Gavin was unusually quiet. Rosie wondered if she’d upset him by her attempts to get him out of Beth’s room. “You okay?” she asked lightly in an effort to bump start some sort of conversation.

He mumbled something in reply, but the wind seemed to snatch his words and scatter them into the night air.

Rosie decided to wait until they were in the car before trying to pursue the matter further. “Something up then?” she ventured a couple of minutes later as she clipped on her seatbelt.

Gavin breathed out slowly as he stared hard at the windscreen. For a few moments he was silent. “Brings it home to you, doesn’t it?”

Rosie frowned. “What does?”

“Seeing them together. She’s so young. And your brother – he’s a nice guy. A really nice guy.” He was still staring straight ahead. “I know you’ve talked about them before, Rosie. But actually meeting them … it’s different. Makes you realise the situation.” He swore under his breath. “I’ll be honest, Rosie, it’s upset me. It really has.”

It was the last thing Rosie had been expecting. She wasn’t sure what to say, and was half afraid Gavin might suddenly burst into tears. She felt a flash of guilt about her earlier cynicism. So what if he’d been brushing up on his Beethoven? He’d obviously just wanted to make a good impression. Kind of sweet really. Tentatively she reached for his hand. “Now you know why I haven’t been the life and soul of the party in recent days.”

“Yeah.” Gavin nodded quietly. “Actually, from what I’ve just seen, I think you’re all doing amazingly well.”

Rosie found this vindication strangely uplifting. “And now you understand why I wanted to spend Christmas with them?”

Gavin turned to her, a remorseful expression in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Rosie. I was a selfish pig. Forgive me?”

Rosie smiled. “Just one thing. How did you do all that in there?”

“All what?”

“All the classical music stuff. Gotta say, I came painfully close to being impressed.”

“Ah,
that
.” There was a twinkle in Gavin’s eye. “That’s down to good old Granddad Pennington. He was a classical music buff. Always had it on in the house when we visited. Whenever Khachaturian’s
Masquerade
waltz came on the radio, he’d grab my grandma and twirl her round the living room at high speed. Me and Bellamy used to do impressions of them – till we got to an age when it became embarrassing. We had a pretty neat routine for Borodin’s
Polovtsian Dances
too.” He grinned. “Not really my scene nowadays, but some things you never forget. Hey, maybe I could teach you a few nifty moves, Rosie.”