A Special Relationship (19 page)

 
He opened the passenger door for her and she stepped out onto the sidewalk.
 
More than a few brothers were checking out Robert’s truck, but all of the others seemed more interested in checking out Carrie.
 
Robert’s jaws tightened at the sight of all of these hungry young men with too much time on their hands, men who had probably seen and done some things that would make even Robert’s skin crawl, and he immediately felt possessive of Carrie.
 
He placed his hand on the small of her back as he walked her up the stoop and into her apartment building, his eyes trained on the young men as if he was daring them to try something.
 
For some reason he wanted them to think that Carrie, that this particular woman, wasn’t available.
 
And if they didn’t understand that, if they still wanted to try and get next to her, he wanted them to get a good look at what kind of man they would have to go through first.

 
Carrie, however, wasn’t giving those guys a second thought.
 
She was suddenly embarrassed by where she lived, as the noise inside the building was only slightly less irritating than the noise outside, and the smells, of urine, of liquor, were worse than ever as they walked up the stairs.
 

 
Robert walked slightly behind her, his hand still pressed against her lower back as if he were afraid she was going to get away from him, his eyes unable to fully accept these surroundings.
 
He knew she wasn’t living high on anybody’s hog, he knew life circumstances had dealt her a less than flattering hand.
 
But living like this?
 
In this war zone?
 
It made him want to make her pack a bag right now.
 
And take her where, he wondered.
 
Into his world?
 
Into his horrors?
 
Leaving her alone would be less cruel, he decided.

 
He stood next to her at apartment number six as she fumbled with her keys.
 
His hand was still on the small of her back, it was, in fact, that way even as they walked up the stairs, and she didn’t know quite what to make of it.
 
The press of his hand felt good to her senses, and just the thought of him so close to her did manage to relax her around those horrible boys out front, but what she couldn’t figure out was if he was just being nice again or meant more by the gesture.
 
But since she couldn’t exactly ask him, she decided not to dwell on it.
 

 
“Thank you so much for the ride, Mr. Kincaid,” she said as she continued to fumble nervously with her keys.
 
“I seem to be all thumbs tonight.”

 
Robert took the keys from her hand, although he still did not release his hand from her back.
 
“Which one is it?” he asked her as he looked at her key chain.

 
“That one,” she said, looking at the keys.

 
Robert looked at her, as their closeness wasn’t lost on either one of them, and then he put the key she had selected into the door lock.
 
“Do they hang out like that all the time, Carrie?” he asked her.
 

 
“Who?
 
Those guys out front?
 
Yeah, they do.
 
Maybe not the same ones but it’s always a group hanging out there.
 
I just ignore them.”

 
She could feel Robert’s hand slide from the small of her back to curve around her waist.
 
He also pulled her closer against him.
 
“Do they ignore you?” he asked her and then looked at her.
 
Her heart was pounding by their sudden closeness and she looked him in the eye.
 
“What do you mean?” she asked him.

 
“Do those young men bother you, Carrie?” he asked in his naturally firm tone.
 
“You know what I mean.”

 
Carrie looked Robert in the eye when he said this and her stomach tightened.
 
He smelled so sweet and his eyes looked so compassionate that she wanted him to hold her.
 
Her body was screaming for him to hold her.
 
“No,” she said.
 
“They pretty much ignore me too.”

 
Robert looked at her mouth and then into her eyes.
 
“They’d better,” he said to her and for a long moment they just stood there.
 
Then he turned the key in the lock and pushed open her door.
 
His heart skipped a beat as she moved past him and walked across her threshold.
 
He didn’t hold her or kiss her, but he once again showed such kindness towards her.
 
Which was what she needed most.

 
Robert, however, seemed distracted by her door lock.
 
He looked at it and rattled the knob.
 
Then he looked at her.
 
“Make sure you lock this door,” he said.

 
“I always keep it lock.”

 
“Good.”

 
“Even Popena believes in that.”

 
Robert didn’t respond.
 
He had said too much already.
 
Asking her about those young men.
 
What was he going to do, he wondered, if she’d said no, they come on to me every day and I’m afraid of them?
 
He’d have to do something then, he knew, and that was the last thing he needed to do.
 

 
“Take care of
yourself
, Carrie,” he said.

 
“You too, Mr. Kincaid.
 
And don’t
let
 
Dyson
work you too hard.”

 
Robert laughed.
 
“I won’t.”

 
Carrie found herself staring at his face while he laughed.
 
And even when he stopped, and found himself returning her stare, she couldn’t even force herself to look away.
 

 
Robert exhaled as he looked at her, as he glared at this delicate creature in this hell hole of a living space, and he did something he knew he shouldn’t do, he knew he wouldn’t do ordinarily, but he couldn’t seem to help himself.
 
He moved up to Carrie, invading her personal space with the agility of a thief in the night, and pulled her into his big arms.
 
She closed her eyes, as if by reflex, and returned his hug with a tight grip of her own.
 
She wanted to cry it felt so good to be held like this, her face rammed against his broad chest.
 
She wanted to break down in tears at the warmth of him, the sweet smell of him,
the
touch of him.
 
So she did.

 
Robert could hear the sniffles of her tears, a sound that caused him to languish in despair, and that was why he held her longer, pulling her closer and closer against him.
 
Crying was a private matter, he’d always felt, it was not an activity for public consumption.
 
The last thing she would want was for him to be gawking at her right now.
 
She was in pain.
 
He knew it the first time he saw her.
 
Pain that probably began years ago, maybe as soon as she realized, after her high school graduation, that her dreams were not going to come true.
 
And to leave that hell hole only to find
herself
in this one was undoubtedly getting to be too much for her.
 
The love of a good man probably used to be her goal, now any man’s affections would do.
 
Robert squeezed his eyes shut at the thought of some other man touching her, and he found himself, for the first time in a long time, praying to the Almighty to not let it be so.
 
He silently prayed that God would place a hedge of protection around Carrie and keep all of those opportunistic, good-for-nothing, love’em and leave’em men as far away from her as their shiftless feet could take them.

 
When her sniffling seemed to fade into silence and it appeared clear that she now had her emotions back in check, he slowly released her from his arms.
 
She was, at first, looking down when he released her, as she wiped her eyes, but then she looked up at him.
 
And that look in her eyes, not of sadness or pain, but of a kind of courageous resolve, as if she was determined to not let her circumstances get the best of her, made him feel so proud of her that he wanted to pull her in his arms again.
 
But he didn’t.
 
He, instead, placed his hand on the side of her face and tried to comfort her with a smile.
 
“You okay?” he asked her.

 
She nodded with a smile of her own.
 
“Yes, I’m fine.
 
I’m just. . . I’m just a little tired I think.”

 
“Tired?” he asked as his thumb moved from her cheek and began to rub across her lips.

 
“Yes, I think so.”

 
“What’s got you so tired?”

 
She smiled.
 
“Eventful day,” she said.

 
He nodded.
 
“Yeah.
 
Know what you mean.”
 
He said this and then removed his hand from her.
 
“Go on inside and get you some rest.”

 
She wished it was that simple.
 
She wished she could go into Mona’s apartment and find solace there, but she knew better than that.
 
Mona’s apartment, and everything about this life of hers, was the cause, not the solution, of her weariness.
 
But that wasn’t Robert’s problem, she decided.
 
“I will, thank-you, Mr. Kincaid,” she said to him.
 

 
“Robert.”

 
Carrie looked at him blankly.

 
“My name is Robert.
 
Call me Robert.”

 
Carrie smiled.
 
“Okay, Robert.
 
And thanks again for the ride home.”

 
Robert told her she was welcome, told her goodnight again, and then began walking away from her in a brisk stride.
 
He felt as if he was going in the wrong direction when he left her.
 
He felt as if he should still be at the threshold of that apartment holding her in his arms, but he hurried down those stairs anyhow.
 
He was not the kind of man a woman like Carrie Banks needed right now, and no amount of tears or sentimentality would convince him otherwise.
 
She’d eventually find the right man, somebody steady and stable,
somebody
ready to be there emotionally for her, he was certain of it.
 
What he wasn’t so certain of, however, was why he seemed to be getting sick to his stomach at just the thought of her with another man, regardless of how right that man would be for her, regardless of how absolutely wrong Robert knew he was for her.
 

 
Even when he left the building and got into his truck, he still felt a pull back to Carrie.
 
He had to fight, literally fight the urge to run back up those stairs, pull her into his arms, and never release her again.
 
It was the strangest, strongest feeling he’d ever felt for anyone before, and it disturbed him.
 
Even Gloria had never had this kind of pull on him.
  
He leaned his head back against his headrest and blew out a sigh of anguish.
 
What was it about this particular woman, who wasn’t his type, who was way too young for him, that kept him feeling so unguarded?
 
It certainly couldn’t be love, he decided, since he hardly knew her.
 
But it was something.
 
Something so intense, so incredibly needy, that he knew the best thing for both of them was if he cranked up his truck and got his shiftless feet away from her too.
 
So he did.

 
Back inside the building, however, Carrie closed the door of Mona’s apartment and then leaned against it.
 
The last thing she wanted was for Robert to get away from her.
 
He was such a sweet man, she thought.
 
Such a kind, wonderful human being.
 
He was bothered by those guys out front.
 
As if he would hurt them if they tried to harm her.
 
No man had ever shown that kind of concern for her.
 
Not even Dale, who was once willing to marry her even though he knew she didn’t love him.
 
And it was a wonderful feeling, she thought.
 
A feeling that maybe, just maybe, despite all of their differences and stations in life, God had decided that it was not good for her to be alone either and that Robert Kincaid, of all people, just might be the man to make it so.