A Stepbrother for Christmas: The Hard and Dirty Holidays (2 page)

Chapter Three

Annalise

I stumbled out of the coffee shop, painful memories swirling through my mind. I thought I’d gotten over all of it, all of the horrible things Niles had said and done. I had no idea just seeing him would cause it all to come bubbling back to the surface. It didn’t help that when I first glanced at him, I thought he was a ridiculously handsome stranger. Then I realized it was
him
.

Having to sit with him and listen to him tell me how he was sorry? It was torture even if it was delivered in a posh accent.

I rushed to the street corner and waited for the light. Cars with red reindeer noses drove by on the slushy street. The chalet was a few blocks away. I couldn’t get there fast enough. It was freezing and I was desperate to lock myself in my room and calm down from the pain Niles inflicted. Just like old times.

I took a swig of coffee, desperately trying not to make a mess as my hands shook. The light finally turned and I crossed the street. I crunched through the gray snow and up onto the opposite curb. Then I struck up a quick stride, fighting against the sting of the wind. But compacted snow must have stuck to the soles of my flats, because one foot skidded out from under me and I was falling. I squeaked as both feet lost purchase.

Strong arms wrapped around me and put me back on my feet. I steadied myself and looked up at my savior. Bright blue eyes, square jaw, red hair – Niles.

“Thought you could use a little help.” His hand was still on my elbow, sending heat through the joint and up my arm. Something was in his eyes I’d never seen before. Warmth.

I shook my head. Three years couldn’t turn Satan to a saint. It was the same old Niles. I yanked my elbow away.

“Thank you. I can handle it from here.” I turned my back and kept walking.

I made it the next corner and waited on the light. He was behind me. I could feel him, as if the air between us was expanding and buffeting against me like a strong wind. I shot him a sharp look over my shoulder.

He shrugged. “We’re going to the same place.”

The sparkle in his eye was irritating. Yes, only irritating, nothing more. I turned back around and crossed with the light. He maintained a steady pace behind me, never coming to walk by my side.
Good
.

I reached the next corner and paused while other people crossed or waited for the light at the busy intersection. They were buzzing about Christmas shopping, lift passes, and skiing gear. All I could focus on was him. He edged closer as more people gathered at the corner. I scooted up closer to the curb. Traffic had ebbed and I wanted to cross, the light be damned.

Before I could step into the street, he put a hand on my waist and pulled me back. “Wait for the light.”

A car turned right in front of us. It would have hit me if I’d stepped down like I’d intended.

Damn
. Niles was throwing off my headspace, making me do things that were beyond dumb.

I just needed to get to some sort of sanctuary where I could think straight. His hand was still on my waist, making any rational thought impossible. My hair stirred at my ear from his warm breath, scented with delicious coffee. His fingers pressed into me almost possessively. His chest was hard against my back as he kept me against him.

“Calm down, Annalise. I’m not going to hurt you. Not anymore.” It was a whisper I wanted to believe.

The light finally changed and we were moving. When his hand left my waist, I missed its pressure and warmth. Like an idiot.

The crowd spaced out as we reached the next corner and only a handful kept trudging up the slope along with Niles and me. We passed storefronts with ropes of garland and lights. Scents of peppermint and cinnamon flavored the air. I should have felt comforted. Instead, I felt on edge. My emotions were roiling. Niles didn’t seem like the boy I remembered. The one who stole my diary and read my most secret thoughts before throwing them back in my face. Red suffused my face at that particularly painful memory.

Maybe he was different. I granted him that. But would that be enough to make me reconsider anything?
How much could a person really change?

“Annalise, please, just let me walk with you.” He stayed behind me, waiting for my permission. No, definitely not the Niles I remembered. The Niles of days past would have barreled past me, not caring if I fell on my ass. Actually, he would have preferred that outcome.

I slowed my pace. He matched me, still waiting for some sign of assent. I took a deep breath and waved my hand in a “come on” motion. He took the few steps between us and walked at my elbow. We moved along a bit slower than my previously frenzied pace. He smelled wonderful, like coffee and some sort of woodsy soap. I pushed my scarf further up, trying to cover my mouth and nose against the invading scent.

“Cold?”

Was that genuine concern in his voice, his blue eyes? I looked away quickly, staring up toward the chalet. I was frozen, my Dallas wardrobe no match for the mountain winds. But I just wanted to get out for a little walk and a lot of caffeine. A shiver shot through me.

Niles moved closer to my side. “Here.” He shrugged off his heavy coat.

“Wait. No.” I tried to scoot away. The last thing I wanted was help from Vile Niles. But he slung the warm coat around my shoulders. It was toasty and smelled even more like him. “Won’t you freeze.”

“No, I’m good. Really.” He was wearing a blue plaid button-down with some sort of thermal looking undershirt. His jeans were a dark blue, hitting his muscular frame in all the right places.
Whoa.
That was not the way to be thinking. Not at all.

“So, how’s school?” He asked, his elbow touching mine lightly as we ambled past the bustling storefronts.

“Fine.” I drew my arm closer. Touching was bad, especially when I couldn’t decide if I wanted to run or snuggle more deeply into the coat that smelled like him.

He sighed. “Okay. I get it. Walking’s enough for me.” He looked down into my eyes. “For now.”

A little thrill went up my spine at his words. Disgust, surely that was why.

We walked the rest of the way in silence. Ugly memories paraded through my mind but they were cut off by his hand at the small of my back when we maneuvered around some ice or the way he looked at me with concerned yet somehow hopeful eyes. Confusion settled over me like a fresh snow. I’d always believed that the best predictor of future behavior was past behavior. But Niles was destroying that paradigm moment by moment.

By the time we reached the chalet, the sun was already sinking behind the mountain, sending everything into shadow. The chalet was lit up, warm light pouring out of the wide windows. Mom’s Christmas tree glowed through the night, beautiful and overdone at the same time.

“Your mom went all out on the tree.” Niles opened the front door for me and stood back so I could pass.
Who is this man?

“Yeah.” I entered the home, the smell of some sort of delicious food, spiced with citrus, hit me in the nose. The uphill walk back to the chalet had made me even hungrier. I stripped off Niles’ coat and handed it back to him. He took it and hung it on the pegs by the front door and held his hand out for my light jacket. I pulled it off along with my scarf and hat.

I caught his stare. He’d tensed as I’d removed the knit warmth piece by piece. He watched me intently now, his eyes hungry. I wanted to look away, to forget I saw that look. But I couldn’t. My heart pounded and my skin felt as if his hands were on it, touching and teasing. His adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard and broke eye contact. He hung everything up and turned back to me, his eyes no longer giving anything away. Guarded.

“Anna?” Mom called.

I let out a breath, not even aware I’d been holding it. “Coming.”

I followed her voice through the living area and into the kitchen. Niles followed.

“Oh, there you are. And I see you found Niles.” Mom’s smile faltered.

“Yes. We got a coffee.”

“Together?” Mom flipped a browned fish filet in a pan with an obscene amount of butter. Brent was setting the table in the adjacent dining room.

“Not really.” I spotted an open bottle of red and beelined for it.

“With the fish, Anna?” Mom asked. “I thought we’d have a white.”

I didn’t care what color it was, I just needed alcohol. I poured a glass and took a decidedly unladylike gulp. Mom turned and watched me over her shoulder as she worked on the island cooktop. She raised an eyebrow in question. I shook my head. I couldn’t discuss anything right now, especially not with Niles in the room. She took the hint and returned to dinner.

Niles leaned against the door frame, not exactly relaxed. Handsome, though. Too handsome. I took another drink. Undeniably gorgeous. I drained the glass and poured another.

Brent walked past with a bowl of salad. “Go easy, Anna. We have to have enough wine to get sauced every night for two weeks. I’ll start rationing if necessary.”

I laughed and raised my glass to him. Niles smiled and began helping Brent with the food. Mom bossed me around a bit and we all fell into our roles. I had never been much of a cook, so getting the salad dressing and watching Mom make the risotto was the height of my participation. When it was all done, we sat down and dug in. I was across from Niles and made a point of not looking at him.

“So, Niles, tell us about your rowing team. I heard there was a competition or something that’s a big deal in England?” Mom asked.

Brent laughed and shook his head. “It’s much, much more than just a competition. The Boat Race is, is—” he leaned back in his chair, eyes misting beneath his glasses “—transcendent. My year with the blues, we beat Cambridge by a full thirty seconds. Thirty seconds, can you believe that? Those were the days, I tell you.”

“Blue?” I smiled, my body lighter than it had been all day. “So Oxford team is blue? Is Cambridge red, then?”

“We’re both blue, actually,” Niles said.

I took another drink of wine. Mom was nuts. This red went perfectly well with the fish she’d made. I giggled. “Both blue? What sort of crap? How do you even tell which team is which?”

“Oxford wears a more dignified darker blue, almost navy. Cambridge, tossers with no sense of style, wear some lighter blue. Hideous, really.” Brent took a respectable drink of wine.

Niles nodded in agreement.

“So you won?”

Niles raised his gaze to meet mine. “Yes, my team did.”

“Your
team?
” I laughed. “I’m shocked anyone would let you on a team with other normal human beings. Were they afraid you’d kill them in their sleep or something if they didn’t?”

The room fell silent and Mom dropped her fork onto her plate with a clink. “Anna! Apologize right this minute.”

“I won’t. You know what I mean, right Niles?”

He closed his eyes and when he opened them I saw pain there, pain I’d inflicted. I thought it would feel good, hurting him the way he’d hurt me so many times. Instead, I just felt sick.

“Annalise—”

“No, it’s okay, Ellen. Really.” Niles wiped his mouth and tossed his napkin down next to his half-finished meal. “I need to turn in. It was a long flight and I’m beat. Thanks for this lovely dinner. Delicious as always. Please excuse me.” He rose and squeezed his dad’s shoulder before leaving.

The room seemed to deflate, as if I’d stuck a pin in it. Mom took what was left of my wine and put it out of my reach.

“Really, Mom?” I rolled my eyes and tamped down my unease.
Was she right?

“Yes, really Anna. Why would you say something so awful?”

I fisted my hands next to my plate. “Oh,
I’m
awful. Have you forgotten about how he treated me?”

“That was years ago, Anna. You’re two different people now, all grown up. It’s obvious he’s changed and so have you.” She neatly folded her napkin and gave me a pointed look. “But I don’t know if all of the changes were for the better.”

I winced at her words. She was my biggest cheerleader. Her words were a shock to my system. Was I being a jerk? I pushed back from the table.

“Anna, it’s okay. Stay—”

“No, Brent. It’s fine. I don’t want to ruin the rest of the dinner. I’m going to bed. I’ll see you two in the morning.” I didn’t look at Mom as I strode out with angry steps. Petty? Maybe.

The second I was out of the room, they began talking in low voices.

I climbed the stairs, tripping once before I made the landing. Niles’ door was closed. I stopped in front of it. Should I apologize? A chant of “assless Anna” ricocheted through my mind from my ninth grade year. No, definitely not apologizing. I went to my room and changed into a t-shirt and panties before going to the bathroom. It was a jack and jill between Niles’ room and mine. His door was closed.

A few of his items were on the counter – razor, toothbrush, and the delicious soap I kept smelling. I stilled and tried to listen for him. Nothing. He must have already been asleep. I brushed my teeth, trying not to think about what I’d said earlier. Once I was done in the bathroom, I slipped into the queen size bed. I was beat from the trip and admittedly a little drunk. Sleep took me quickly.