A Suitable Vengeance (61 page)

“Why?”

And now he had come to it. So easy to sit alone in the study and rehearse for a month all the things he had needed to say to her for years. But now that he had the opportunity to say them, he found himself faltering all over again and he wondered why it had always been so frightening that she should know the truth. He drew in air like resolution.

“For the same reason I wouldn’t make love with you. I was afraid. I knew that you could have any man in the world.”

“Any man?”

“All right. You could have Tommy. Given that choice, how could I expect that you might want me?”

“You?”

“A cripple.”

“So there it is, isn’t it? We end up at
cripple
no matter where we begin.”

“We do. Because it’s a fact of who I am and we can’t ignore it. I’ve spent the last three years considering all the things I could never do at your side, things that any other man—Tommy—could do with ease.”

“What’s the point of that? Why keep torturing yourself?”

“Because I had to work through it. It had to stop mattering so much that I couldn’t even hold you if I were unattached to this cursed brace. It had to stop mattering so much that I’m crippled. And that’s what you need to know before you leave me. That it doesn’t matter any longer. Crippled or not. Half a man. Three-quarters. It doesn’t matter. I want you.” And then he added unfairly but without a regret since there are no rules that govern affairs of the heart, “Once and for life.”

It was done. In whatever fashion she would judge them, the words had been said. Three years too late, but said all the same. And even if she chose to leave him now, at least she chose knowing the worst he was and the best. He could live with that.

“What do you want of me?” she asked.

“You know the answer to that.”

Peach moved restlessly at their feet. Someone shouted from the patch of green across Cheyne Walk. Deborah watched the river. He followed the direction of her gaze to see that the swans had cleared the final pilings of the bridge. They were floating unchanged as they had done before, as they always would do, seeking the safety of Battersea.

“Deborah,” he said.

The birds gave her the answer. “Like the swans, Simon?”

It was more than enough. “My love, like the swans.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ELIZABETH GEORGE is the author of thirteen award-winning and internationally bestselling novels, including
A Great Deliverance, Payment in Blood
, and
A Traitor to Memory
. Most of her novels have been filmed for television by the BBC and broadcast in the United States on PBS’s
Mystery!

She lives in Seattle, Washington, and London.

ALSO BY ELIZABETH GEORGE

A Great Deliverance

Payment in Blood

Well-Schooled in Murder

For the Sake of Elena

Playing for the Ashes

In the Presence of the Enemy

Deception on His Mind

In Pursuit of the Proper Sinner

A Traitor to Memory

I, Richard

A Place of Hiding

A SUITABLE VENGEANCE

A Bantam Book

PUBLISHING HISTORY

Bantam hardcover edition published July 1991

Bantam mass market edition / March 1992

Bantam mass market reissue / August 2004

Bantam trade paperback edition / May 2007

Published by
Bantam Dell

A Division of Random House, Inc.

New York, New York

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved

Copyright © 1991 by Susan Elizabeth George

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 91-105750

Bantam Books and the rooster colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

eISBN: 978-0-553-90487-1

www.bantamdell.com

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