A Surrendered Heart (23 page)

A tear trickled down her cheek, and she swiped it away with the back of her hand. If only she could think of some way to help Amanda. Keeping to the path leading from the front of the house, she followed the trail until she neared the water’s edge. Gathering her skirts in one hand, she picked her way toward a large flat rock, where she could stare at the water and contemplate a solution. Although she normally did her best thinking while near the river, her remedy didn’t work today. Not one single idea came to mind. She longed to help Amanda escape before it was too late. But how?

Fanny now understood why her cousin had agreed to marry Ellert, but that wouldn’t save Amanda from a lifetime of cruelty. Why did Amanda feel compelled to save the family? Had Uncle Jonas presented such an idea to George or Jefferson, they would have laughed at him. Neither of the young men would willingly agree to such an arrangement. Amanda deserved to make her own choice. It seemed Fanny’s marital happiness only served to underscore Amanda’s tragic plight all the more. Her tears flowed unchecked as she stared across the water.

“Here you are!”

Fanny swiped at her eyes before turning to look up at Michael.

“What’s happened? Why are you crying?” Concern shone in his eyes as he dropped down beside her. He reached around her waist and pulled her close. “Tell me what has made you cry, my love.”

She rested her head against his chest and described the exchange with her uncle. “I cannot bear to think of Amanda spending her life with a man like Ellert Jackson. There must be something we can do. I’ve been sitting here for well over an hour trying to devise a plan, but I can think of nothing.” She straightened and looked into Michael’s eyes. “Have you any idea how we can help?”

Michael gently wiped away her tears. “No matter what, I believe things will work out for Amanda. We must pray that God will protect her from both her father and from Ellert Jackson.” Michael tipped her chin upward until their eyes met. “God knows what’s happening. None of this has taken Him by surprise. Right now we don’t understand, but I believe good will prevail.”

“I know you’re right, but it appears it will take nothing short of a miracle to save Amanda from being sentenced to a lifetime of misery with Ellert Jackson.”

“Then you must pray for that miracle, dear Fanny, and I will do the same.”

21

Saturday, July 22, 1899

After a final look in the mirror, Amanda walked to the bedroom window and glanced outside. The sight of Ellert standing near a large pine in the front yard was enough to send her scurrying toward the bedroom door. He appeared none too happy. She hoped that during their tour of the island today she could summon up some sort of feelings, something other than intense distaste, for the man she would soon wed. Ellert could be nice enough when he wanted to gain favor, but he could also be demanding. His passion and lust frightened Amanda more than she could say. Blake’s kisses had stirred feelings of desire within her heart, but when Ellert so much as touched her, she wanted to run.

“Amanda! Where are you rushing off to?” Fanny asked. “I told Sophie we would join her for a picnic today.”

Amanda glanced over her shoulder. “I can’t. I’m late meeting Ellert. I promised him a walk around the island.” She could hear Fanny’s muffled footsteps on the carpeted hallway and knew her cousin was hurrying after her. She twisted around at the top of the stairs and waved her cousin to a halt. “I’m sorry, but I simply cannot go with you.”

“I don’t understand why you want to spend time with that despicable man. If we don’t find a solution, you’ll be tied to him for the rest of your life. I’d think you would want to stay away from him while you can.”

“There isn’t going to be any miraculous solution, Fanny. If I spend time with Ellert, I may find that he actually possesses a few redeeming qualities—that we are compatible. At least that’s my hope.”

Fanny sighed. “I don’t think you’ll be successful, but I wish you well. We’ll miss having you with us.”

Amanda pulled her cousin into a fleeting embrace. “And I shall miss being at the picnic. More than you can imagine.” She released her hold and nodded toward the door. “I must be on my way.”

“Do promise to give me a full report later today. I’ll want to hear if you discover any admirable qualities in the man.”

With a sense of foreboding Amanda ran down the steps and out the front door. Like her cousin, she doubted Ellert would exhibit any admirable qualities. But refusing his request for a full tour of the island had been impossible. The thought of being alone with him caused a tremor. His cruel assault during their previous excursion remained a frightening memory. She slowed to a ladylike gait as she crossed the lower veranda and strolled to Ellert’s side. “I do hope I haven’t kept you waiting long.”

He tapped his watch pocket. “As I recall, we agreed to meet at ten o’clock.”

She offered what she hoped was a demure smile. “That’s correct.”

“You’re seven minutes late. I don’t tolerate tardiness. Don’t let it happen again.” Then he smiled and extended his arm. “Tardiness causes so many problems in life. If I sound harsh, it’s because I know the damage that can be done in not dealing with matters in a timely manner.”

Her stomach lurched, but she managed to maintain her smile. “I’m generally not late, so rest assured I’ll give heed to your desires for promptness.”

He smiled. “See. It’s not all that difficult to please me.”

Amanda nodded. “I’ll do my very best. Shall we begin our tour?” He offered his arm, and though she accepted, she would have preferred to maintain a greater distance between them. Mr. Jackson’s angry, immediate rebuke had increased both her fear and dislike of the older man. “The house sits two-thirds of the way between the furthermost tips of the island. Do you have a preference for which way we begin?”

“I thought you were in charge of this tour. Surely you know which way is best to proceed, don’t you? I thought you wanted to be an independent thinker.”

She looked at him rather confused. “I do enjoy that privilege, but you’ve made it clear to me that you would have it otherwise.”

“My dear Amanda, there are things I will not tolerate in our marriage, be certain of that.” He narrowed his eyes. “Betrayal of my trust in any form will be punished swiftly and without mercy.”

She frowned. “But doesn’t everyone deserve mercy? Surely you are a godly man. Does not Jesus ask us to practice mercy and forgiveness, even to those who do not deserve it?”

Ellert laughed. “I am amused that you presume me to care one ounce what godly men might think or do. I serve no master but myself.” He looked around. “Now are we to take that walk, or would you prefer to further discuss my supposed shortcomings where spiritual matters are concerned?”

The man was rude, but she’d already known that. “We’ll take the path leading south,” she said.

Mr. Jackson made no comment on the beauty of the island or the amazing views of the river as they headed southward. Instead, he maintained a downward focus. Perhaps he feared tripping on a branch or a rock. She did her best to draw him into conversation, but it seemed he had no interest in the magnificence of the island. Her attempt to provide him with a brief history had been met with a quick silencing glare.

Curling his fingers into his palm and using his thumb to point back toward the island mansion, he asked, “Who owns the house and this island? The entire family? Your father? Who?”

She hesitated, uncertain why he would ask and not sure she had an answer. “My grandparents owned this island. I’m not sure what distribution has been made since my grandfather’s death. I believe there was some stipulation in the will that it remain in the family. Why do you ask?”

“Because I want to know.”

His curt response annoyed her. “There are several islands currently for sale. Several have homes even larger than—”

“I don’t want to buy an island. And if I did want to purchase property, I
wouldn’t
seek the
advice
of a
woman
.”

He emphasized the final words as though he intended each one to deliver a fatal blow. And they had—to her ego. If she didn’t change the topic, she might tell him exactly what she thought of him.

“I’ve been completing the wedding plans and thought you might want to offer some suggestions. Other than insisting the wedding take place at the church on Round Island, you’ve not indicated your preferences.”

“I don’t care a whit about the wedding plans. The wedding is simply something I will abide for your sake. I agreed to a formal wedding only to satisfy your father’s need to pander to the social crowd.”

“I believe he was thinking of you, also,” Amanda said. “Without a gala affair, gossip would run rampant. I doubt such talk would serve you well.”

He laughed. “I have never worried what others thought of me. I don’t need their approval. Your entire family concerns itself far too much with the wagging tongues of Rochester society. I have succeeded in spite of them. And you, my dear, will learn they are of little import once we are married. Let them attend the wedding, but that shall be the end of such nonsense.”

She wanted to ask if he planned to keep her away from her family, but she feared his response. “Then I may continue to make all of the arrangements without seeking your approval?”

He pulled her close. His dark eyes bore down on her like a vulture prepared to attack. “The only thing that interests me is our wedding night. Make certain you prepare for that event.”

Amanda squared her shoulders but didn’t fight his hold. “You know that I am an innocent woman. Why must you speak to me in such a manner? I may be trained in various medical procedures, but I have never been with a man.” She surprised them both with her bold statement.

His harsh laughter cut through the morning breeze and echoed through the treetops. In spite of her best effort to remain calm, she shuddered. Ellert pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I’m pleased to hear that you are innocent, but in truth your fear already betrayed that fact. And I find it exciting. Fear enhances everything, don’t you think?”

“Don’t you mean
desire
enhances everything? Shouldn’t both a man and a woman look forward to their wedding and their life together? Fear has such a negative connotation. I fear things I don’t understand—destructive, mean, evil things.” She raised a brow. “Surely you would not have me think thus of you. Are there not more benefits—more loyalty and respect—if I should honestly and completely love you?”

He looked at her for a moment. It was clear he was taken off guard by her comment. He softened his hold and let his fingers skim her cheek. Amanda took the opportunity to continue.

“I know the arrangement you’ve made with my father. Whatever hard feelings and ill will that lay between you two needn’t come between us. I am willing to help my family in the demanded manner, despite the fact that my loved ones and friends think me mad. However, I would much rather have a husband to whom I could look up to and respect, love, and obey, as you once mentioned, with a glad and willing heart.”

He pulled back as if her skin had suddenly burned him. Ellert looked at her oddly for a moment, and then his features hardened. “I thought you a woman of intelligence, but I can see you hold the same nonsensical beliefs as the rest of your gender. I care nothing about your desires or love. I demand your respect and obedience, and I find that fear is often the best way to get both. You will learn quickly just how cruel and hard I can be, both in public and private, when I am crossed or otherwise made to look the fool.”

His words and behavior appalled Amanda, but she fought to remain calm. She must attempt to find some common ground with this man if she was to spend the rest of her life with him. Perhaps it would help if she could discover his interests. Amanda forced herself to take hold of his arm. “Let us continue our walk. Tell me of your business ventures. What interests you the most?”

“Anything that will make me money. I don’t give in to the whims of what I might like or dislike. If it is a venture that will add to my holdings, I am interested. Although I abhor the boorish stupidity and the silly games played by social elitists, I do enjoy the many comforts money can buy. And I’m not opposed to purchasing occasional trinkets for myself or for those who show me loyalty.”

Amanda was quite certain he didn’t frown upon worldly possessions, at least for himself. The servants had been quick to tell her that Mr. Jackson had arrived with seven huge trunks filled with tailor-made suits and more shoes than had been brought by any other guest who’d ever visited Broadmoor Island—male or female. Amanda had been keeping a close watch, and as yet she hadn’t seen him wear the same pair of shoes more than once. No doubt he was a man who would take a great deal of understanding, but becoming better acquainted with Ellert Jackson was proving most difficult.

She watched a boat pass by carrying a group of sightseers pointing at various islands. They appeared carefree and happy. She wondered if they’d enjoy a picnic lunch later in the day. Ellert remained a short distance from the edge of the bluff, and she turned to wave him forward. “There is a particularly lovely view from this vantage point.”

“I’ve never been overly fond of the water. The view is fine from here.”

His words affirmed his earlier comment. If he didn’t enjoy the water, he would never buy one of the islands. She had hoped he might consider a summer home so that she could visit with Fanny and Sophie each year. Of course, he’d not yet said where they would make their permanent home. The thought of life without her cousins close by spurred her to ask, “Where we will make our home once we are married?”

“In New York City. I purchased an estate when I first moved to the city. It was constructed more than a century ago, but it has been well maintained and has been furnished with all of the modern amenities found in your Rochester mansion. I believe it is far superior to any home in Rochester.” He crooked his finger and beckoned her to his side.

Though she would have preferred to maintain the distance between them, she did as he bid. If she hoped to persuade him to change his mind, she’d need to appear malleable. “I had hoped we might live in Rochester, at least part of the year. I’ve always been surrounded by family members. I’m sure you understand my desire to remain close to them.”

“If you remain near your home and family, you’ll never become reliant upon me.” He pulled her close in an ironlike grip. “I don’t want your family involved in my life—only you, dear Amanda.” He chuckled at her frown. “You’d be rushing home to cry on your mother’s shoulder every time you were unhappy. Then your father would pay me a visit and plead with me to behave like a good husband.” Ellert shook his head. “I don’t want interference in my business ventures or in my home.”

“But they won’t interfere. I wouldn’t allow for it.”

“Don’t whine at me. I’ve seen some of the things you’re capable of, my dear. I know now that I must put you fully in your place or we might never know a moment’s peace.” His face contorted, and it was almost as if he became someone else. “I won’t tolerate you putting others between us.”

“I would never do such a thing if only you will agree to live in Rochester. I can’t bear to think of losing the companionship of my cousins. I have lived in Rochester my entire life, and my family is of great importance to me. Won’t you please reconsider?” When he didn’t respond, she decided to plead her case a bit further. “You are aware I’ve been working with the impoverished in Rochester, and I truly desire to continue my work. I have begun my training to become a physician and realize it is my life’s calling. I love medicine and want to continue. You have often commented that I might do exactly that and—”

He yanked her forward and pushed her against a nearby tree with a ferocity that knocked the wind from her lungs. His transformation from gentleman to monster was complete. Unable to speak, Amanda stared at him in disbelief. He bared his teeth like a mad dog.

“I know exactly how much you love medicine—I saw you along the shore of Round Island with Dr. Carstead. Tell me, what medical procedure was he teaching you when I saw you locked in his embrace?”

She cowered as he leaned even closer, his hot breath on her face. With his free hand he yanked her hair until her head tipped back against the tree.

“Look at me when I speak to you!”

Hands trembling, she forced herself to meet his hardened stare. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.