A Taste for Blood (The Godhunter, Book 6) (41 page)

“
Yes, he did,” Roarke said solemnly. “I'm not asking you to forgive him for that, I'm asking you to remember what you've learned about the sidhe and
understand
that for him, it was a viable solution to his problem. A faerie is a very practical creature. When we see what we want, we will use any means to get it. Why have the gift of magic and not use it? It's just another tool designed to help us get what we want. It's a different way of thinking and it was how he was raised to think. That in itself should help you accept what he's done but the thing that gives me pause, the thing that should really make you reconsider, is that he
regrets
his actions now.”

“
Of course he regrets them,” I scoffed, “he wants me back.”

“
Yes, he does but not for the same reasons that he wanted you in the first place.” He ran a hand through his wild hair. “He loves you and not just in the way a faerie loves. He set out to achieve a goal, to get you with child and give his race a chance at living again. Instead, he fell in love with you and you changed his fey way of thinking, of loving. He's imprisoned now because of it.”

“
He's in jail because of me? Yeah, okay,” I rolled my eyes.

“
Vervain,” Roarke frowned. “He went to the High King and asked him to name a new ruler for the House of Fire.”

“
What?”

“
King Arach stated that he cannot rule his people anymore. His beliefs are tainted with humanity and his thoughts are consumed with you. He said he had nothing to live for and could not in good conscience... he said
conscience
, a word few fey even know the meaning of, well he said coinsias but it means the same thing. I merely translated.”

“
Roarke!”

“
Alright!” He shook his hair back. “He said he couldn't in good conscience rule his kingdom anymore. King Cian refused his request, told him basically to go home, get drunk, bed a new woman, and get over it. Then King Arach told the High King to stuff it. Well the words he used were...”

“
Whatever,” I threw up my hands. “So the High King threw Arach in prison? Just because he got mouthy?”

“
You don't understand,” he sighed as if he was dealing with an intellect so far beneath him, it was a chore to have to dumb down his conversation. “The High King ordered King Arach home to his post and King Arach not only refused the order, he insulted the High King and his relationship with the Queen. He told King Cian that he obviously did not truly love his wife, if he thought King Arach could just drink a few pints of ale, bed a new woman, and get over you.”

“
Oh,” I blinked. “Not a good idea.”

“
I don't think he really cared,” Roarke tilted his head in a fast, assessing gesture. “It was kind of impressive.”

“
You witnessed it?”

“
Most of the court did,” Roarke grimaced, “including the Queen... she was actually the only one who laughed. I wonder about her sometimes,” he made a swirling circle with his finger at his temple.

“
Holy faerie farts,” I whispered.

“
Yes, precisely,” he gave a quick chuckle. “King Cian had no choice but to imprison him until King Arach came to his senses, as the High King put it.”

Calm was flowing over me, the tension I'd been carrying all week disappearing. Arach had betrayed me but was it betrayal if there was no bond between us previously? I've done underhanded things to get the results I needed. I'd snuck into the home of sleeping gods and beheaded them. All's fair in love and war. Huh, I guess that's a very fey saying.

Arach had employed underhanded techniques to get what he wanted but then we'd spent time together. He got to know me, formed a connection between us, and he'd begun to feel guilty over what he'd done. I had memories of that at least, his guilt. What did that say about a fey King? It said he cared, cared enough to question his own means to an end.

I thought about the months I'd spent with him, the things we'd shared and the way we'd both changed. Had he raped me? Maybe not. I had a flash of his face, the first time we'd made love. He'd hesitated, even back then. Did that absolve him of all fault? Absolutely not but did it help me to forgive him? Yes, it did.

Once that anger was released, everything changed. I could see things clearer and think clearer. I couldn't let Arach rot in prison. It wouldn't sit right with me. I needed to go back and see what I could do for him, not just for him but for me. It would help me move on.

“
Let's go,” I picked up my book and stylus.

“
What?” Roarke stood up. “Where?”

“
To Wonderland, Dinah, where else?”

“
To... what?”

“
Just come on, cat.”

Chapter Sixty-Two

The walk from The End of the Road to the Castle of Eight was a lot longer than the flight had been. By the time we got there, I was a little grouchy and very hungry, so the offer of attending the High King at dinner was accepted with a bit of glee and a bit of frustration. I wasn't looking forward to walking the spiral but I was happy about the thought of food along the way.

When I finally reached the center, the High King gave me a pleased look and indicated that I should have a seat in a chair beside him. Roarke sat to my right. I had to go through the niceties first because the fey could get testy about that sort of thing. So it was awhile before I was able to bring up the reason for my visit.

“
King Cian, I want my husband released.”

“
Well that was well done,” Roarke's sarcasm was thick. “Not at all too blunt.”

“
I find the frankness refreshing,” said Queen Meara.

“
I find the fact that she still calls King Arach, her husband, to be refreshing,” King Cian smiled. “I was told you renounced your vows.”

“
And I was told that it didn't matter,” I shrugged.

“
It doesn't,” the King leaned forward. “I will release him on one condition.”

“
Uh huh?”

“
You get him to agree to remain King of the House of Fire.”

“
Alright,” I agreed.

“
Alright?” The King laughed. “It may be harder than you think.”

“
Hard or not,” I shrugged, “if that's your condition, I shall meet it.”

“
Why is there never a bard handy when someone utters their last words?” Roarke searched the room for a musician.

Chapter Sixty-Three

“Hello, Arach.”

He was laying on a stone bench set into the wall of his cell. It wasn't the most comfortable looking of places but it seemed clean enough. The floor was covered in a fine layer of ash, which wafted up into a cloud when he sat up abruptly.

“Vervain.”

“
Yep, in the flesh. How's it hanging, lizard face?”

“
If that's your way of asking how everything goes with me, I'm just dandy, enjoying my new residence. I think I'll call it Castle Royal Pain in my Ass.”

“
When the hell did you get a sense of humor?” I chuckled.

“
When a sassy human walked into my world and started calling me strange names,” he walked over to the bars. “What are you doing here, A Thaisce?”

“
I think the better question is what are
you
doing here,” I looked around the cell. “I mean really? A dungeon? Was your castle not drafty enough?”

“
No, it was pretty cold after you left,” his jaw clenched, elongating slightly. “I have thought of you every second of every day. Thought of words I would say to you if I had the chance, things I would do to make amends.”

“
Well let's hear it then,” I stuck a hand on my hip.

“
Okay,” he nodded. “Vervain, I've been a complete fool.”

“
Good start,” I nodded. He growled. “Continue.”

“
If I could take back my actions...” he stopped and cursed violently, shaking his head and gripping the bars. “No. I'm not going to say these things, they're all lies. I don't regret anything. If I hadn't done what I did, I'd never have held you. I would have never seen you smile at me with love in your eyes. I'd never have been able to share my world with you or carried you on my back as I flew. I never would have helped you through your transition or known what it was like to burn with you, inside of you. I would change nothing but the hurt you felt at the end. That I would remove if I could but I'll never regret the having of you.”

“
Well, that was... honest.” I swallowed hard. “I guess I can give you some honesty back. I just spent the last week on the verge of a mental breakdown. No, that's wrong, not the verge, I broke down. I lost my damn mind, not just because of what you did to me but because of how much I miss the life you gave me. How much I miss you. You've torn apart my family, damaged relationships with people I love above all others, and you have no remorse for it. I hate you for that. But you've shown me magic, taught me power, given me control, and then lost control with me. I feel like I've lived more with you than I ever have with anyone before and the ache of that loss is something I'm afraid I can never recover from.”

“
Then come back to me,” he reached out a hand through the bars and touched my cheek.

“
I can't,” I automatically jerked away and he looked like I'd stabbed him. “I have men who I love more than you.”

“
Vervain,” he groaned.

“
I know that sounded cruel but it was a truth you needed to hear.” I sighed and stepped back, out of his reach entirely. “I will not give them up because I had a dream life with you for three months. What I
will
do is keep the lines of communication between us open.”

“
What does that mean?” He started to look hopeful.

“
It means that when you fog up my mirror, I'll answer it,” I grimaced. “I'm not promising anything but there may come a time when I'll be able to visit again.”

“
I think I can live with that,” he smiled sadly. “Can you forgive me for hurting you?”

“
I already have,” I smiled sadly at him. “Against my better judgment.”

Chapter Sixty-Four

Arach was released so he could return to the Fire Kingdom and resume his responsibilities as King. I went back to Hell so I could pack and return home. I didn't feel a hundred percent myself again but I was much better than I'd been in awhile. The simple fact that I hadn't lost Arach completely was a balm to my wounds and the fact that it was a balm was a bit frightening.

Hades and Persephone seemed relieved when I told them I felt well enough to return home but they didn't press me for details and I loved them so much for that. Instead, they each gave me a quick hug and saw me to the tracing point. I was back at Pride Palace in seconds.

Standing in the hallway, I felt my stomach clench. Why was it so hard to face my men? I'd been pondering that for the last few days and all I could come up with, was that I felt like a traitor. Strange, I knew it wasn't my fault. I knew I hadn't chosen to go to Arach but I'd fallen for him. I'd made the choice to love him and was making the choice to continue to do so. I was afraid to face their anger, to see accusation in their eyes or even worse, pain.

A love relationship with just one person would be so much easier. For a second, I wished I could go back and just be the Queen of the House of Fire. Yes, there were responsibilities but really, the life Arach had tried to give me would have been so much easier than my own. No fighting gods, no taking care of lions, no werewolf relations to worry about, and no multiple lovers to keep track of. I'd never have to kill again.

“
MEEEOOOOWWWW!” Nick startled me out of my thoughts.

“
Hey baby,” I reached down to scratch him beneath the chin and he bit my fingers lightly. “I know, I've been a bit of a bitch,” I laughed. “Come on, forgive Mommy.” He started to purr, rubbing up against my legs. “Thanks, fur face. At least that was easy.”