A Taylor-Made Life (27 page)

* * * *

The room darkened as the sun sank in
the sky.

Taylor’s head lay on Gavin’s chest,
her warmth sinking deep into him. He’d been so cold lately.
Supposedly the medicine and lack of circulation, but next to her,
he was warmed to his bones.

She spoke softly. “I should probably
get up. The nurse’ll be in soon to give you your meds.”

“Mmm.... Just a few more minutes with
you like this.” He lay perfectly still. “You know, I had a dream
about heaven this morning.”

Her body tensed, and he trailed his
fingers up and down her arm, tracing the bruises that appeared so
easily because of the leukemia.

“I stood in a white fog. A voice I
couldn’t place told me I could have whatever I wanted. A wish for
anything.”

Taylor rested her chin on his chest
and watched intently. “What did you wish for? Obviously not money.
Health?”

He shook his head. “I wished for one
more day with you. Because that seemed most like heaven to
me.”

Her eyes sparkled with tears that
never spilled.

He sighed wistfully. “I thought that
was the best thing I could ask for. And now, today, I feel like I
got my wish. But you know what I realize?”

“No.” It was a whisper, a
plea.

“It’s not enough.” He cupped her
cheek. “Because even an endless number would leave me wanting one
more.”

She smiled. A tiny tear slipped from
the corner of her eye down her cheek before he caught it with his
finger and wiped it away. Then she kissed him.

The door opened.

“Knock, knock.” Maureen stepped in and
threw her splayed hand in front of her eyes. “Oh, so sorry.” Then
motherly concern spread over her face. “Are you two supposed to be
doing…
this
?” She flapped her hand.

“Come on in, Maureen.” Not that he
wasn’t mildly embarrassed, but being in and out of the hospital so
much desensitized him to modesty. Was that what happened to porn
stars? They eventually forgot what normal society deemed
inappropriate. Because he was certain his mother-in-law catching
him naked in bed after making love to his wife would qualify as
wrong on several levels.

She tsk-tsked at them then said, “I’ll
come back in a few. Taylor, have you told him yet?”

Taylor’s face paled, and she shook her
head. “Not yet.”

“Taylor
.” Maureen made her name
sound like a reprimand.

“I know, Mom.”

What was with the cloak and dagger
stuff? He goosed her under the covers.

Taylor flinched and turned to glare at
him, but said to her mother, “Give us a few minutes.”

He wiped the grin from his face. “Tell
me what?”

Maureen snuck out and closed the door.
Taylor dropped her gaze, rose from the bed and put her clothes on.
Damn. There goes the view.

“What are you up to? It scares me when
you two start plotting.”

She sat on the side of the bed and
smiled but a little sadness laced the edges. “It should scare you.”
She took his hand. “Please don’t be mad. Mom needed some help, so
she called in reinforcements.”

He raised her fingers to his lips and
kissed them. “Why would I be mad at that? She’s seven months
pregnant with our baby. Both of us are sick. It makes perfect sense
she needs more help. Tell her to hire whoever she
wants.”

“She didn’t hire anyone, Gavin. She
called your mom. Grace is here.”

His face tingled as the blood drained
from it. “Why would she come now? Does she want money?”

“Honey, she doesn’t want anything.
Except to see you.”

“What if I don’t want to see
her?”

Taylor gave him that yeah-right look
he hated. “You need to settle this, Gavin. While you still can.
Please give her a chance. For me.”

* * * *

Grace entered the room. Gavin’s
heartbeat raced as she took a couple steps then stopped. Taylor sat
on the bed next to him and clasped his hand. He slid his gaze from
the top of his mother’s head to her feet. “You changed your
hair.”

She sucked in a breath. “So did
you.”

“Thank God.” He remembered the hideous
shaggy mane he’d insisted on wearing during college. He’d thought
it made him look older. He realized shortly after graduation it
didn’t. It made him look…goofy.

She sat in a wingback chair next to
the bed. The silence stretched.

“I wanted—”

“I’d planned—”

They both spoke at the same time.
Gavin gestured for her to continue.

“Gavin, I wanted to contact you so
many times.” She wrung her hands in her lap. “So many. I regret
every minute apart from you.”

“So you’re married?”

She nodded.

“How is Professor Grable?”

“He’s good. He came with me but stayed
at the hotel. He’s concerned about you.”

Gavin nodded. “You have
children?”

“We have an eight-year-old daughter.
Rebecca. She’s staying with friends while we’re here.” She smiled
at Taylor. “I’ve heard a lot about you from your
mother.”

“And from what you’ve seen on TV?”
Taylor laughed.

“To be honest, I don’t watch TV.”
Grace fidgeted nervously with the collar of her blouse, a gesture
so familiar to him it brought tears to his eyes. “So, Taylor, are
you excited about the baby? I know these are special circumstances,
but a baby is still a precious thing.”

“Thinking about Aaron is the only
thing that gets me through some days.” Taylor’s face sparkled when
she spoke of their son. “I can’t wait to meet him and hold him. Mom
says she wants me to be the first to feed him. And I’m grateful for
that because afterwards it’ll be a while before I can see him
again.” She dropped her head to hide the pain he knew was
reflected.

It broke his heart to think of leaving
her with a baby to care for. Her own life was still very much in
jeopardy. But he rested in the fact that Maureen would be there and
now his own mother.

Grace said, “Maureen told me a little
bit about the procedure. You’ll be sequestered for a month after
the transplant?”

Taylor wiped her eyes with her
knuckles and nodded. “Because they have to kill off my wonky blood
cells and suppress my immune system before the procedure. I’ll be
in hospital isolation for three weeks before Aaron’s born, and then
a month after or until my body accepts the stem cells. Then if the
transplant takes and my counts go up, I should be able to stay at
home. But I won’t be able to go out in public for about six
months.” She stood from the bed and stretched. “I think I’m going
to go see what Mom is up to.”

He squeezed Taylor’s hand. She kissed
his cheek and slipped out of the room to give him and Grace time
together.

The door clicked closed. The silence
stretched.

Grace clasped her hands in her lap.
“So, Gavin, whatever happened to Snappy?’

He chuckled. “That dog was something
else. After he got out and knocked up the Olsen’s spaniel down the
street, Dad had him fixed. He went downhill after that. I guess he
figured life wasn’t worth it if he couldn’t sow his wild oats.” He
paused, remembering the lively dog from his youth. Then he smiled
sadly. “We had to him put down the year I graduated. He got too old
and couldn’t even walk to his food or go outside
anymore.”

Grace laughed softly. “You begged and
begged for that dog, and when you got him, I thought you were going
to burst with happiness. You remember you snuck him in your
backpack and tried to take him to school?”

Gavin stared deep into her eyes. “I
remember.”

Grace cleared her throat and wiped
away the tears that spilled over. “Gavin, I had no idea your father
blamed you. His depression had gotten out of control and he
wouldn’t do anything about it. The first time he hit me, I let it
go.”

“He hit you?”

She nodded. “Twice.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Because I hid it. I didn’t want you
to hate him. He needed you. Ben was there for me. I couldn’t help
that I fell in love with him. But no matter what you think, Gavin,
it wasn’t your fault. I should have known. I should’ve
fought…”

He shook his head and whispered, “It
wasn’t your fault either. You deserved to be happy, too. And I
should have let you explain.” Grace had been a beautiful woman. She
still was, tall and thin with blond hair. It struck him how very
much Taylor would look like her with hair.

They talked for the next several
hours, cried and laughed. The rift in his heart scabbed over and
began to heal, but his body sagged with fatigue. His eyelids
drooped.

Grace rose from her chair. “It’s late.
I should be going. You need to get some rest.”

Panic rose in his chest. “You’re
leaving?”

“For now. Can I come back
tomorrow?”

He nodded as the lump formed in his
throat.

She turned to leave.

“I love you, Mom.”

Tension lined her jaw in a decade
worth of agony as she faced him. She sat on the bed and pulled him
into a hug. “I love you, too. And I’ll be back.” After fluffing his
pillow and kissing his cheek, she whispered, “Get some
rest.”

Grace stayed at the hotel the first
two nights but came to visit him each morning. Finally, on the
third day, Gavin told her to bring Ben. He wanted both of them to
stay in a guest room and insisted she send for Rebecca, too. They
hired another housemaid, nurse, and a tutor for his half-sister.
And the big house was as full as it had ever been.

The hustle and bustle of life filled
their days and settled them in a comfortable routine that Gavin
knew would soon come to a crashing halt.

Weeks passed quickly, too quickly. His
body continued to weaken and give way to the disease. Taylor stayed
close and rarely went to the office at all. She continued to do a
few things from home, and John gave daily updates from the
company.

With Nancy gone and Aaron on the way,
Rick and Charlie had withdrawn their case from arbitration and were
inquiring about selling their share of the company. Brad was
negotiating, and he kept John in the loop. Taylor had no need to be
at the office, but she still kept abreast of what was happening
through email.

Christmas came and went. They all
celebrated together. Maureen and Grace decorated and bought gifts
for everyone. Ben and John had carried him downstairs on Christmas
Day to open gifts and eat. It was the first time he’d left the
confines of his bedroom in months. Laughter, conversation, and the
smell of live cedar, turkey and spices transformed the space. It
was the best holiday he could remember.

In his bones, he knew death was
imminent. Powerlessness wracked him. He could feel the cancer
sapping his strength. His kidneys barely functioned, and he could
no longer get out of bed at all. It was strange to feel the life
being systematically drained from him. His appetite completely
left, and he took food via an IV. But like Taylor, he set his will
on a goal, and he refused to give up until that goal was met. Until
he saw his son.

* * * *

Taylor sat cross-legged on the bed
next to him. Her hair was about an inch long over her head and
golden blond. He studied the soft lines of her face. His gaze
traveled down her neck. Her chest rose and fell lightly as she
perused her email. Memorizing each curve and playing every memory
of her in his mind again, he watched in awe.
Matrons of the
Havens
, she lit the room like sunshine. And she was leaving
him. Bands of pain tightened around his chest and
throat.

He spoke to change the subject
swirling in his mind. “Hey Sweetness, you gonna shave your
head?”

She looked up over her laptop. “Yeah.
Tonight.” The melancholy in her voice also reflected in her gray
eyes.

She didn’t want to leave him anymore
than he wanted her to go. And if it was anything short of her
survival, he knew she wouldn’t.

“What time do you go in
tomorrow?”

She closed the computer and scooted
next to him. “Ten.”

His heart sank, and his gut clenched
as he glanced at the clock. Already past noon. Less than
twenty-four hours with her. Time was always the enemy, a vicious
foe that loomed when it needed to speed, and flew when he wanted it
stop.

Taylor’s plan was to check into the
hospital for two weeks of chemo and a week of isolation before the
baby was born. Then as soon as Aaron came, she could have the
transplant. During the three weeks before the baby’s birth, she’d
be sequestered in the cancer ward to prevent infection and to
monitor her counts, taking two weeks of chemo then being
quarantined for the final week. He wouldn’t see her until
after.

But in his heart he knew. There would
be no after. He’d never make it to her homecoming. This was it.
Their last night together. Alone. In their own bed. But he’d be
damned if he would say goodbye. Not yet.