A Thousand Tomorrows & Just Beyond the Clouds Omnibus (19 page)

“Yes.” The man came to the foot of her mattress and touched her toes. “Hi, Ali. You doing okay?”

“Mmm-hmm.” She was breathing easier, but she looked exhausted.

The doctor shifted his look to Ali’s mother again. “I ran the test results by Ali’s doctor, and, well… the news isn’t good.”

Cody steeled himself. Hadn’t he known this was coming? No matter what Ali said about this being another tune-up,
they all knew she was getting worse. The coughing, the extra medication, the frantic times when she couldn’t breathe. The signs were there for all of them.

“Her functions are bad, right?” Ali’s mother took hold of Ali’s forearm. “I can tell.”

“It’s more than her function tests, Mrs. Daniels.” The doctor released a heavy breath. “Her lungs are shutting down. She’s finished barrel racing.”

Ali reached for Cody’s hand. She closed her eyes, squeezing his fingers. He wanted to cover her ears, shelter her with his body. Anything to erase what the man had said. This was the day she’d dreaded all her life. She wasn’t being given a warning; it was more of a pronouncement.

No more barrel racing. Not ever.

Cody could only imagine the heartache exploding through her, because his heart was breaking, too. She was finished racing? Done with the dream she’d chased since she was eleven? Never again would she race around the barrels, faster than every other rider. She and Ace were finished, finished with the Pro Rodeo Tour, finished traveling around the country, finished climbing the leaderboard.

Ali Daniels would be remembered for blazing onto the barrel-racing scene and staying in the top handful of riders the whole time she competed. But her promise would never be fulfilled; there would be no national championship.

He let his head fall against her hand, willing some of his strength into her. The doctor was going on, saying something about recuperating and using the next few months
to get stronger. Then he said something that made Cody sit straight up.

“Dr. Cleary tells me you’re planning a lung transplant in December.” The man’s face was stern, tense.

“Yes.” Ali’s mother continued to be the spokesperson for the three of them. She hesitated and looked his way. “Cody’s one of the donors. Her father’s the other.”

“That’s what I need to talk to you about.” The doctor opened the file he was holding. “We rescheduled the transplant for June. Dr. Cleary believes that’s as long as we can wait. After consulting with our specialists, I have to agree.” He read the file. “Ali would stay a few more days here, and then return home. We’d like her to gain some strength over the next eight weeks, so that she’s in the best possible shape for the transplant.”

June? Cody froze for a moment, but there was no hesitation. June was perfect. The sooner the better. That made his decision about the season an easy one.

Ali opened her eyes and the three of them stayed silent, the news suffocating them like a desert dust cloud.

“Doctor”—Ali’s mother sounded drained, resigned—“could you give us some time to talk?”

“Yes, certainly.” He looked from Ali’s mother to Ali and finally to Cody. “I wish I could give you some options, but there are none. This is the only plan left.”

As soon as the doctor was gone, Ali turned to him. “You don’t have to do it, Cody. Someone else could give me a lung; I’m still on the donor list and my case will be more urgent now. June is the worst time for—”

“Ali.” He pressed his fingers to her lips. “I’m done with the season.”

“No, Cody.” Her mother looked at him. “Ali’s right. You’re at the top of your sport.” She clutched the arms of her chair. “You’re healthy and whole; if we put her back on the donor list she might get a lung right when she needs it.”

“Listen.” Cody’s tone was calm, convinced. He slid back in his chair. “I’m doing this. Nothing can change my mind. I
want
her to have my lung.”

No one said anything. Then Ali reached out and took his fingers. “We could try to wait, Cody. The doctor might be wrong. What’s a few months if it’ll let you win the championship again?”

“Hear me, Ali. Please.” He leaned close and kissed the inside of her wrist. “My season’s over whether you have the transplant in June or December. I won’t get on another bull until it’s over.”

“Why? I… I don’t understand.” Her voice was quiet, weak. “I don’t need you at home with me, watching me breathe from a machine. I’d rather have you winning rodeos, Cody. Doing what you love.”

“I can’t.” He ran his fingers over her engagement ring and pressed her hand to his face. He didn’t want to tell her, but he had to. “I’ve never worried about getting hurt on a bull, because I only had myself to think about.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe I wanted the challenge. The pain of a pulled shoulder beat the other pain, the one inside.” He found her eyes and held them. “But everything’s different now.” He sat up and put her hand to his chest. “One of my lungs is already yours, Ali. It’s
not mine. I’m not worried about myself, I’m worried about the part of me that belongs to you.”

Ali’s mother covered her face with her fingers. She was crying, doing her best to hide the noise.

Tears filled Ali’s eyes, too, spilling down the bridge of her nose onto her pillow. And that’s when he knew he’d won. It was time to go home and get Ali well again, time to dream about the days the transplant would buy them. It was possible, wasn’t it? A cure could be found while she was living on borrowed time, right?

He leaned over the bed and hugged her. No matter that Ali and her mother were crying, he couldn’t bring himself to feel sad. So what if he missed a season of Pro Rodeo? He’d earned plenty of money that year already, and he could always go back when the surgery was behind them.

Ali was going to get better, stronger, and after her transplant anything could happen. She was a survivor, a fighter. If anyone could beat cystic fibrosis, it was Ali Daniels. And now they would be together every day back at her ranch. Ali and her mother were upset now, but Cody could feel nothing but joy over the fact. And then in just a few weeks when she was well enough, they would celebrate the happiest moment of all.

Their wedding day.

Chapter Seventeen

S
he found the dress at an old boutique in Denver, a small store she and her mother visited on the way back from a meeting with Dr. Cleary. Ali knew the moment she slipped it on. It was perfect, the only dress she could wear to marry Cody Gunner.

It was May, and warm temperatures had come to Colorado. The dress was full-length, layered satin covered with delicate lace, cap sleeves that fell an inch off her shoulders. She tried it on in front of a three-way mirror, and her mother covered her mouth, her eyes dancing.

“Ali, you’re a vision.” She came up and gave her a sideways hug as they both looked in the mirror. “Remember when I told you how much I hoped and prayed for this?” She turned and faced her. “For you to live long enough to fall in love?”

“Yes, Mama.” She angled her head closer to her mother’s. “I remember.”

“I told you heaven forbid it be Cody.” There was a catch in her voice. “Ali, I was wrong, honey. Cody loves you the way I only dreamed you might be loved.”

“I know.” She smiled at the reflection of the two of them. “I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

The days passed quickly and a few nights before the wedding, Ali and Cody were outside on the front porch, sitting in the old swing.

“Hey.” He looked at her. “I just thought of something; I haven’t got your wedding present yet.”

“That’s okay.” She looked out at the winding drive, the one they’d driven down so many times on their way to a rodeo. It was still impossible to believe those days were behind her; it was the hardest part of her new reality. She shifted and caught Cody’s eyes. “I don’t need a wedding present; you’re enough.”

“That’s not right, Ali. You deserve a wedding present.”

She wove her fingers between his and rested her head on his shoulder. A wedding present. She hadn’t given the idea much thought, but now that he mentioned it…“Okay, tell you what.”

“What?”

“After we get married, ride with me out to the far end of the ranch. Out there I’ll tell you what I want.”

“In your wedding dress?”

“Yes.” She set the swing in motion again. “The minute the ceremony is finished.”

He wanted to argue with her, she could see it in his eyes. But he wouldn’t. There was too little time to argue over anything now.

The morning of the wedding arrived, bursting with sunshine and new life. Ali went to her bedroom window and looked out. What would it be like to wake up next to Cody, to feel the strength of his body alongside hers? She could hardly wait. If she were smart she would’ve married him last Christmas when he proposed to her.

A bluebird landed on the tree outside her window. He cocked his head and looked straight at her. Then he hopped three times along the branch and flew off. Something about the bird made Ali think about her sister.

Anna had been her best friend, the sister who was her other half. Together they sat in their safe, clean room with the pastel wallpaper and dreamed of everything they’d do when they got better. Because back then they believed little girls with cystic fibrosis would get better, that one day they could skip across grassy hills and play hide-and-seek around the bushes and craggy rocks and outcroppings of pine trees. That come some autumn afternoon they might ride horses from sunup till sundown without worrying even a bit.

But it hadn’t happened. Anna never got the chance to grow up or find her way out of their bedroom or skip across the grassy hillsides or ride horses. Anna should’ve been there that day. She would’ve worn pale blue, her favorite color. Her dress would’ve been long and slender, and she would’ve placed baby’s breath and miniature daisies in her hair. The daisies that grew outside their bedroom window.

She would’ve loved Cody, loved the way he cared for her and her family. Cody and Anna would’ve been fast friends, and together with Ali and their mother, the four of them
would’ve played hearts and spades and dreamed of the future.

Ali gripped the windowsill. Tears welled in her heart.

Anna should’ve been there beside Ali that day, her maid of honor, her best friend. And the fact that she wasn’t, that instead she was buried in the cemetery down the road, made Ali mad with a fierceness she’d hidden for a decade. It had been easy to place it all in a box and let it lie there, her sorrow, Anna’s death, all of it. Easy to never lift the lid and examine exactly who was to blame, to never even try to make sense of it.

But now… now everywhere she looked she saw Anna, and not just Anna, but life and hope and a future full of promise. She’d had a decade of horseback riding and barrel racing, parents who let her follow her dreams, and now the most amazing thing of all.

Cody’s love.

Coincidence could explain a lot of situations, but Cody? The fact that his lung was a perfect match for her ailing body? A love that made it hard to know where she ended and he began?

None of it was by chance.

She’d been granted all her dreams but one, and what was a national championship compared to the sweet season she was about to share with Cody? It was a miracle she was even standing there that morning. She could’ve died her first year on horseback. Dr. Cleary had told them that, hadn’t he?

She never should’ve survived the years she spent on Ace, the friendship she shared with her horse. Ace had taken
Anna’s place, easing the loss and giving Ali another chance at life. Ace didn’t treat her differently for being sick. He didn’t take it easy on her or hold back. No, he flew when she was on him, sometimes for whole afternoons before either of them would get tired.

None of that should’ve been possible.

And then there was her mother’s dream. That she live long enough to fall in love, to know the love of a man who cherished her beyond even himself. Who would’ve thought that Cody Gunner would be that man? But there was Cody, loving her, adoring her, giving himself completely for her.

If he could’ve taken her disease onto himself, he would’ve done it. That was the kind of love Cody had for her.

And what about the time out by the back fence, when she couldn’t catch her breath? She could’ve died then, and she never would’ve known this day, never would’ve been preparing to stand on a hillside and promise her love to a man whose soul was intertwined with her own.

She’d been spared so much. She drew a breath and smiled. Her lungs would hold up today, she could feel it in her bones. She lifted her eyes to the sky and peered beyond the blue, to the place where her sister must live. As long as she drew breath she wouldn’t understand why Anna had to go so young, why she couldn’t be here now to celebrate this day with her.

But she couldn’t be mad about it, not anymore.

Tears stung at her eyes and she moved closer to the window, the blue sky filling her senses. She sniffed, overcome by a wave of sorrow bigger than the ranch out back. “Can I ask
You something?” Her voice cracked, but she kept her eyes toward heaven. “Would You let Anna watch today, please? Give her a front-row seat.” Ali closed her eyes. She ached for Anna more today than ever before. “One more thing. Tell her I miss her.”