A Toast to Starry Nights (25 page)

“Thanks. It's good to know that my
breasts and ovaries do not detract from my sense of humor.” I smiled at him,
tingly and giddy about the fact that even though my seduction got derailed, the
big thing I sensed turned out to be something so sweet and shocking. Tonight
was a night to remember in many ways. A night that made the soul sing in
delight from the mere presence of one of my best friends, and echo with an aria
of love.

From the top of my head to the bottom of
my feet, I felt alive in a way that felt very familiar but I couldn't quite
place.

“No, your breasts are a nice addition to
the sense of humor and curvy legs. Not to mention the big-picture mind that I
believe isn't as intimidating as I'd like to think. As for your ovaries, well,
I'm ignorant and can only enjoy the being that is you.”

I laughed. “The last thing I want to be
to you is intimidating.” I tilted my head to the side in a flirtatious manner.
“So, homefry... stargazing or what?”

“
Or what
sounds ominous.” The
soft way he drawled it lit the fires within me once again.

“It's only ominous if you lack a sense
of adventure which I am convinced you do possess, else you wouldn't have taken
up bullet dodging as a career choice.”

He barked a short laugh. “Well, when I
enlisted, we weren't at war. I wasn't looking to dodge bullets full time,
professionally.”

“I bet you looked amazing in uniform.”
Him in navy blue with a sword in his hand... that's mind candy to me. Never
thought of myself as an uniform groupie, but whether it's dress uniform,
fatigues, turnout clothing, or civvies... the man is yummy to me.

“So I've been told.” Dmitri said it so
casually, that I found it funny.

“Still have your sword?”

“It's a sabre. And yes, but not on me.”

I swallowed hard. This was the moment I
thought about when Dmitri and I sat in the sushi restaurant, stoking each
others leg, the moment I go all rawr-tigress-woman and pounce on his ass.

I am horny, hear me moan.

A deep breath. “Awww, it's a shame you
don't have your sabre on you, because I happen to have a sheathe with me all
the time for such fun.”

Dmitri sat up a little with a grin upon
his face. His tongue worked circles on the inside of his cheek while that mind
of his formed a reply to my playful opening. “Well, I do have something pokey
on me, but it lacks the sharp edge of steel.”

“Oh, that sounds promising...”

Blue eyes gazed with a soft look into my
hazel peepers as Dmitri settled back against the windshield with me. His hand
grasped mine, and he indicated I could hop on the Dmitri train.

Whoo-whoooo! All aboard!

I straddled his lap and without
hesitation began kissing his lips and wiggling my derriere against his groin to
be rewarded with searing passion. Dmitri's kisses moved from my lips to my neck,
and then to the magic spot behind my ear. I couldn't suppress the breathy moan
that reverberated in his ear. With that, his lips returned to mine with a
delicious fervor.

A hand brazenly searched out the hidden
zipper of my dress. Too bad it wasn't on the back, where both his hands now
roamed. Dmitri whispered against my lips, “How do I get you out of this getup?”

I whispered back, “Let me show you.”
With a lean back into upright sitting position, my hand made for the zipper
hiding on my side. I grinned at him and unzipped. With a deft movement, I
lifted the dress over my head and flung it onto the luggage rack of the Jeep.
Now I wore nothing but black lingerie and stockings as I straddled his bulging
lap.

“You look amazing but those panties have
to go.”

Sounds good to me. Thankfully the
moonlight hides raging full-body blushes pretty well. And now the moment I
could appreciate Jet's unsolicited advice about putting the garter belt on
first, then panties. That way I can peel off my undies and still be sporting my
stockings in style. How she knows such things, I'll never understand, but that
she shared her wisdom with me will be thanked with chocolate truffles.

“Alrighty then. But if I lose things
below my waist, then you have to as well. What's good for the goose is good for
the gander. Let that be your first lesson living full time in NorCal.” I rolled
off him and onto my back. A little lift of my ass and my undies gained freedom
to be flicked atop my crumpled dress.

While I did my thing, Dmitri was busy
getting undressed. Clark Kent has nothing on Dmitri and the dexterity he
mustered to get nude mere moments after I removed my bra. The black garter belt
still encircled my waist.

Once again I straddled his now bare lap
and leaned forward to kiss his lips and then his neck. One of his arms wrapped
around my back, why the other guided a nipple into his mouth. My ass wiggled
and he responded by sliding inside me. I raised myself upon my knees so I could
work him deeper within.

In that moment I felt blissfully alive
in a way I cannot describe.

After about ten minutes of toe-curling
fun, however, Dmitri and I retreated to inside the Jeep to resume naked fun
time due to massive amounts of mosquito bites on tender parts. That, and
rampant swamp-ass that made for giggles as the squeaking sound of butt sliding
on the vehicle's hood. Otherwise, that evening with Dmitri has forever been
branded to my mind.

When Neilsinhaur asked if it was worth
the wait to hear Dmitri say he wanted me in his life, there is only one answer.

Way yeah.

I'm sure my eyes had glazed over during
my reverie in response to Neilsinhaur's query. That night will always burn
bright in my mind. Epic in so many way.

“Are you ready to dig deep into
yourself?” The good doctor's voice rang out in the quiet room.

After a deep sigh, I replied. “I'm here,
aren't I?”

“So it would seem.” From his seat at the
desk, he flipped a switch and the lights dimmed. “I would like you to look at
the mural in front of you.” It must have been a knob or something he turned to
make tiny little fiber optic lights twinkle within the mural, giving a
realistic sun-dappled feel to the landscape. Neilsinhaur spoke low. “As you
stare at the mural, I want you to find your way to the staircase you've been
traversing in your homework. Find your path.”

I did as he requested. It wasn't hard to
get lost within the mural. I could see the outline of a buck grazing near
trees, and a trio of does around him. A gray squirrel climbing up a pine tree
trunk. Near the center bottom, a red fox vixen and her litter of kits stalked
amid tall grasses and a mountain lion perched on a boulder, basking in
sunlight. I could almost hear the twitter of meadowlarks echoing through the
forest and the tapping of woodpeckers.

I began to do the meditative
breathing—in through nose, hold and exhale through mouth and sank deeper into
the mural. The details seemed to engulf me and I could easily get lost in the
thought of wandering amid such beauty.

My staircase lay in the the middle of
the forest, before the land sloped up to mountain peaks. Past the mountain
lion. Eyelids drooped half-closed as my breathing slowed to a gimpy snail's
pace. Deeper into the forest I gazed, mentally guiding myself to that pit of
horror. I knew exactly where it was in the forest, knew exactly where to go,
and it wasn't long before I found what I searched for.

“I'm there.” Spoken softly, almost like
a breath.

“I am here with you. I cannot go through
the door with you, but you are never alone. Walk down those steps. Get to the
door at the bottom.”

Another deep breath and I began
ascending the stairs. It was the same as before, just louder wailing and thuds
when I got to the door. Dark, impossibly dark and with nothing but those
damnable sounds to haunt my ears, I spoke to Neilsinhaur. “I'm at the door.”

“Open the door before you, Kaylis.

So I did. The iron loop, strangely warm
in my hand, turned with a creak and revealed the world of my inner demons.

His voice came through the blackness as
a beacon of light from the land of the living. “When you are ready, walk
through, Kaylis.”

A deep breath of air filled my lungs,
and with an exhale, my sails unfurled. I walked through the portal.

When I passed the threshold I came to a
startling realization as the surroundings soaked into my mind.

Oh holy fuck.

I am a twenty-first century Alice who
just fell down the rabbit hole of her own psychosis.

Chapter Fifteen-

Red light poured from above to highlight
the pillar I stood upon. A gigantic monolith in the middle of a blackened
chasm. Banshee wails of terror filled my ears. Thuds and thumps came from all
directions to make my hair stand on end.

The pillar of terror from my childhood
dream. Not cool.

“Where are you?” Neilsinhaur's voice was
soft, soothing.

A deep breath. “In a cavern, no light,
but a red one shining down on me. I'm on a pillar. Can't see the floor beyond
the pillar. Don't know where the light is coming from.”

“Where are you physically?”

“In your office, sitting in a chair.”
Duh, you silly man. But where my mind is... well, not so sure of that.

“That's right. Remember, you are safe.”

That's good to know. “How do I leave?”
Because having an exit route is a must in life.

“You want to leave already?” The good
doctor's voice conveyed a hint of surprise.

“No, but should I feel the need, how do
I escape?” This mindfuck barely began and I found the anxiety starting to ride.
Another deep breath.

“When you need a door, it will be there
for you.” Awesome.

“Where do I go from here?” Not that many
options when it comes to being stuck atop a granite column and all.

“Walk forward. Instinct will guide you.”

Super. Instinct is telling me I'm going
to be creeped out. That perhaps, somethings are not meant to be remembered. So
what if I can immerse myself fully, that isn't a guarantee that my mind is
truly receptive to remembering things perhaps crafted by a very fertile
imagination. Sigh.

“You want me to walk forward. Off a
pillar?” That does imply that air is involved as a surface in which can support
weight. Am I that much of a chicken shit?

“Yes.”

Deep, frustrated sigh. Okay, here
goes...I stepped out of the red light and into the darkness. Ground met my
foot. Another step. Again. All was good. Three more hesitant steps. Somewhere
lurked an edge into an abyss. I knew it with a gut feeling. Whatever lay at the
bottom of that darkness would not be happy-hunky-dunky-dory. Mental burial by
Sucrets box, perhaps. Or a school of invisible piranhas waiting to sink tiny
pointy teeth into my flesh and flay me alive. Maybe even a pit of dancing
satyrs, eagerly awaiting Lucifer's bacchanal, panpipe and bowling ball in hand.

Two more hesitant steps, each started
with a toe tapping before me, assuring me that solid ground indeed happen to be
there.

Then the step I dreaded. Toe tried
tapping a beat into a void and my heart stopped. I didn't want to step closer,
but something drew me forward. Invisible strings of the mind, so to speak. A
puppet pulled off the shelf and floating into the vacant abyss.

Mental quicksand enveloped me, like a
velvet cloak of relaxation. In that state, I sunk further and further into the
dark I feared since childhood. Just when I started to get comfortable, a jolt
rattled my bones and I sank more.

Faster and deeper, I can't tell how far
I descended into darkness. Falling, falling forever into a vast feather bed,
sinking into a soft pillow of the dark unknown.

Don't know how long I went down into
that soft void when I saw the light. A tiny dot in the satin black. Slowly it
grew as I neared. Could make out a shadowy darkness in the halo of light.
Closer I came, the more I saw another wood door, bound in wrought iron. It too,
floated in the abyss with me.

This is what I sought. What lurked
behind the door, I didn't know. Not sure if I really wanted to know. The secret
to the moans, thuds, and wailing belonging to the mental staircase came from
here, from this door. Light seeped from around the doorway, a welcome sight
from the darkness that surrounds.

A wooden latch lifted and that door
swung open on rusted hinges, eerily sounding like a deep wail. I held onto the
doorjamb and tried to peer through the golden light.

For a moment, nothing. Then came the
sound of a wind gust, followed by the actual tsunami of air. As it bathed me,
beat into me and covered every nerve of my being, a sensation of familiarity
sank into my mind.

It was like a lucid dream. Of being in
control of my dream-self, able to fly if I wanted. It's a dream so real
feeling, that the emotion it creates will permeates through the waking day. I
knew it already. When I pulled myself into that open door of the mind, it felt
like all of those dream sensations. Light and free and that what I experienced
was as real as when I drove to Chico for my appointment.