A Tragic Wreck (11 page)

As a last desperate act, Alexander grabbed her, pulled her body into his, and crushed his mouth against hers. His hands roamed her body. She tried to push him away, but his strength was too much. The feeling of his tongue exploring her mouth and his hands caressing her body sent tremors through her entire being. She melted into the kiss as he dipped his hand into her shorts. “You can’t possibly tell me you don’t feel this, Olivia,” he growled, inserting two fingers inside her. “Your body betrays your words. I don’t believe a fucking word you say.” He covered her mouth with his before she could even protest.

He forced her against the door, reaching for the handle with his spare hand as he continued his relentless assault against her.

She didn’t know what to think. She needed Alexander out of her life, but her body was on fire from his mouth pressed against hers, his tongue and fingers invading her. She couldn’t help but to kiss him back, running her fingers through his hair and pressing her body against his even more. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get close enough to him.

Alexander dragged her inside, pushing her up against the wall as he closed the door.

“Alex,” she whimpered.

“Tell me you don’t want this, Olivia. I need to hear you say the fucking words.” He continued thrusting his fingers inside of her. He lowered her shorts before quickly unbuttoning his own, sliding them down. He positioned himself at her wet entrance, panting from the proximity. “Tell me, Olivia,” he growled, waiting for her to respond. “Say you don’t want me.”

Olivia couldn’t form any thoughts, the feeling of his arousal on her clit overwhelming. Staring into his intense green eyes, her mouth refused to form the words that weren’t true.

“God damn it, Olivia.” He slammed into her, causing her to throw her head back in ecstasy. “Tell me Cam makes you feel like this when he’s fucking you. Tell me he drives you crazy like I do.” He continued thrusting into her, savoring the feeling of being inside her. It felt right. It felt like home.

“Lift me up, Alex,” Olivia breathed out. “I need to feel you closer,” she begged.

Alexander did as she asked and lifted her up, steadying her as she wrapped her long legs around his waist.

“Is that better?”

“God, yes,” she responded. “Faster, Alex. I need to feel you.” She began thrusting against him, savoring the closeness that she had been missing ever since she ran. He matched her tempo. Something about Alexander being back inside her made everything seem alright again. She was climbing higher and higher toward her peak, and she could see the edge in sight. But, unlike so many other times, she didn’t know if Alexander would always be there to catch her. She didn’t know if she wanted him to catch her anymore.

Olivia’s breathing became heavy and Alexander felt a familiar clenching around him. He continued driving into her, wanting to come with her. As she screamed out his name, he let go. “Tell me every time that Cam fucks you he makes you come like that!” He thrust one last time, emptying himself inside of her as she convulsed around him. He kept her pinned to the wall for several long moments as he tried to regulate his breathing.

After she finally came down from her earth-shattering orgasm, Olivia opened her eyes and stared into Alexander’s haunting green ones…the same green eyes that she kept seeing in her dreams. Those eyes that told her she would only destroy him, too.

She desperately needed to clear her head.
What the fuck just happened?
She couldn’t let Alexander back in. She pushed against him, ridding herself of his grasp, tears flowing. With shaky hands, the aftershocks of her orgasm still ravaging her body, she raised her shorts and stormed upstairs, embarrassed about what had just happened.

“Olivia!” Alexander shouted, his chest heaving as he raised his shorts. “Answer me! Does Cam make you feel as good as I do? Do not run away from me!”

She turned around, bolting back downstairs, and slapped his face hard. “You want a fucking answer?!” she roared. “YES! He makes me come better than that every fucking time! His dick fills me up like I’ve never been filled before! Now get the fuck out of my house!” Tears streamed down her face as she fell to the ground, unable to muster the strength to stand anymore. “Please,” she whimpered. “Leave me alone.”

Alexander looked down, knowing that it was his fault the girl in front of him appeared so broken. He thought about telling her everything, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t form the words that she probably needed to hear. So, instead, he remained silent as he took in her shaking form.

“Please. Move on. I beg you. Forget you ever met me. I need you to do that,” she pleaded quietly. “I can’t survive if you don’t.”

“Olivia,” Alexander whispered, his voice soft. “Is that really what you want?”

She looked up at him, the hurt in her eyes overwhelming. “Yes,” she answered, lying through her teeth.

Alexander’s heart sank, not really believing her but deciding to respect her wishes. He had no fight left in him. “Okay. I’ll go then.” He took a few steps toward the front door and opened it. “I’ll be sure to have your credit card reported as stolen so that no one else can track you.”

He turned and walked out of her house, hearing loud crying wails as he made his way down the front steps and into his rain-soaked car, angry at himself for causing her such pain. He thought about going back, but knew it would only make matters worse.

He grabbed his cell phone and dialed a number. “Martin, Burnham here. Prepare the jet. We’re leaving immediately.” He threw his phone on the seat, not caring about the torrential downpour covering him with water as he drove through the streets of Amelia Island for the last time.

O
LIVIA
STAYED
CURLED
UP
on the hardwood floor of her beach house for most of the day, bawling her eyes out, certain that her loud wails overpowered the steady rain that pounded the shore that cold, dismal Monday in November. Her entire body hurt from lying on the hard floor, but it was a pain she welcomed with open arms. It helped dull the ache in her chest. She could still feel his hands on her, she could still smell his scent covering her body, and she could still feel the overwhelming sensation of pure ecstasy from him being inside her.

Screaming, she shot up, desperate to wash every trace of Alexander off her. She gazed out the large windows to see that night had fallen. Out on the horizon, lightening streaked through the sky, highlighting palm trees swaying steadily back and forth in the strong winds. The weather fit her mood perfectly. Dismal.

Running up the stairs to her bedroom, she nearly tripped over Nepenthe as she stripped out of her clothes, eager to burn them. They still smelled like
him
, too. She turned on her shower to the highest setting possible and, over the next twenty minutes, tried to scorch Alexander off her body, scrubbing frantically at every inch of herself.

After finishing her shower, she quickly got dressed, tossing her clothes into the garbage. She crawled into bed, wanting to forget the day. Sleep avoided her most of the night, Alexander’s green eyes appearing every time she closed hers.

As she watched the sun begin to rise on the horizon, she screamed, desperate to find some relief from the pain that she felt. Then she remembered that Cam would be there to go surfing soon. A sudden feeling of relief washed over her. That was her answer.
Cam
. He could take the pain away, just like he had done the past few days.

She jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to make a cup of coffee, hoping that Cam hadn’t already been there. Grabbing her now filled coffee mug, she ran to the front door, searching for his Jeep. She breathed a sigh of relief when it wasn’t parked out front. As she sat down, taking in the waves that the storm from the previous day had left in its wake, she heard the familiar rumble of his Wrangler driving along the sandy road.

She smiled weakly, thankful there was someone in her life that could help her forget Alexander, even if for just a little while.

“Morning, beautiful,” Cam called out, hopping out of his Jeep and walking the short distance toward where Olivia sat on her deck. He took in her disheveled appearance. Something looked off. Her eyes were swollen and puffy, and it looked like she hadn’t slept. “You okay?” he asked, a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep last night.”
 

“Anything I can do to help?” he asked.

She wanted to tell him all about Alexander unexpectedly showing up, but she just couldn’t. She wanted to tell him that she fell apart when Alexander pressed his body against her, making her feel things that she had pushed away those last few months, but the words never came. Instead, she simply smiled. “No. I’ll get over it.”
 

He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. “I’m going to go catch some waves. See you in a little bit?”

Olivia nodded as she watched him run away toward the shoreline, wondering if she could really replace Alexander with Cam. She had to. It wasn’t an option. She made it quite clear to Alexander that she felt nothing for him. It wasn’t the truth, but it had to be done.

“Penny for your thoughts?” a voice said several minutes later.

She turned and smiled at Cam. “What are you doing back so soon?” she asked, taking in his naked chest as he stood in front of her with his wetsuit unzipped and hanging off his hips, that delicious little V showing. Her heart raced as she thought of Sunday night and his rather talented tongue. For a brief moment, she forgot all about Alexander and the heartache she felt from pushing him away. Again.

“I missed you. Why surf when I can spend time with a beautiful woman?”

Olivia blushed as Cam sat down in the wicker chair next to her, staring her deep in the eyes. “Have you given any thought to what we talked about yesterday, doll face?”

She exhaled loudly, placing her coffee mug on the small lounge table in front of her. In fact, she hadn’t really given much thought at all to what she wanted with Cam. She knew that, once she slept with him, things would change. But she wasn’t sure she wanted that. Maybe all she really wanted was someone to make her feel something other than the dull pain.

“Come on, Libby. Talk to me. You’ve got that look again, and it’s taking all my willpower to not take you into that house and bury myself inside you.” His voice was husky and sexy. Olivia thought about how much she would really enjoy that. She desperately wanted to erase all traces of Alexander from her life and she needed Cam to help her. “But I’m not going to do that,” he admitted, bringing Olivia back from her thoughts.

“Why?” she asked, the hurt apparent across her face.

“Because, Libby. You use sex as a coping mechanism. You use it so you don’t have to deal with your real emotions. And, as fucking great as it was, I can’t, in good conscience, sleep with you again, knowing that it’s only stunting your emotional development.”

Olivia stood up quickly. “You know what? Fuck you. You don’t know anything about me,
Dr. Cameron
,” she hissed snidely. “So take your psychobabble bullshit somewhere else, okay?” She stormed across the deck toward her front door, the pain of pushing Alexander away threatening to return. She needed Cam to dull that pain and now he was telling her he didn’t want that role. He saw right through what she was doing and she hated him for it.

“Jesus Christ, Olivia. Calm down!” he exclaimed, shooting up and grabbing her arm before she could retreat into the house, locking away the world and all its problems as she wallowed in her own misery. “I like you, Libby. A lot. And I want to help you feel again. And, holy shit, do I ever want to feel your body spasm as I make you come. But I think we rushed into things. I genuinely care about you. I want to sleep with you for the right reasons and not the wrong reasons.” He took a step closer, brushing a wayward curl behind her ear. “I’m scared to lose you,” he said quietly.

Olivia stood there, staring at her feet, the warmth from Cam's body sending tiny shivers up and down her spine at his sweet words. “I’m not yours to lose, Cam.” A tear fell down her cheek. God, she was sick of only feeling pain. When would it all end?

“Olivia, please. I want you to be mine, but I also know you have problems that you need to start addressing. I couldn’t live with myself if I don’t at least recognize that. It’s going to take all my willpower to not sleep with you right now. I want to help you…as a friend who really wants to get into your pants again.” He winked. “We need for you to find a more healthy coping mechanism than sex. That would be a step in the right direction. Please, Olivia. For me.” He grabbed her hand, caressing her knuckles. “And for you.”

“I need to make a phone call,” she said dryly.
 

“But you don’t have a phone. Who are you calling?”

“You’re the doctor who told me I need to find a healthy coping mechanism. I’m following your fucking advice,” she explained.

Cam raised his eyebrows at her, looking for further explanation.

“Are men really that obtuse? Music. I need a piano.”

A smile spread across his face.

~~~~~~~~~~

After landing back in Boston, Alexander went about his normal routine. Get up. Shower. Walk the dog. Eat. Work. Go home. The last vestige of his military training: When it all goes to shit, remember the routine. So that’s what he did. He resumed his routine, trying to block Olivia from his memory.

He had his answer. He tried to make her want him, to need him, but she didn’t. It was time to move on. As he poured himself a scotch to dull the pain, the door buzzer sounded.

“Chelsea,” Alexander said breathlessly as the door slid open.

“Alex. I heard you were back in town,” she said quietly, looking around the penthouse for any indication as to whether he had a guest or not.