A Tragic Wreck (38 page)

Someone out there knows that Olivia is still alive, but it does not appear that Jack’s identity has been compromised. These people have hired Mark to clean up the loose ends that his father left behind. My guess is it’s the same people who hired his father all those years ago. Part of me thinks they were never off this case.

They think that Olivia knows where the incriminating documents are that Jack left behind, hidden. This information could implicate hundreds of powerful people. Help her. Please. That way, my death wasn’t in vain. I beg you. Do the right thing.

I’m proud of you, son. Carry on the business as I would have.

Love,

Dad

Alexander looked at the letter. He had so many questions, but there was nobody to answer them. Then, something caught his eye. He grabbed the envelope and was able to make out script on the flap that was written in almost white ink. If the envelope wasn’t so faded, he never would have noticed it.

 
There is a safe room installed in my office. You may have found that already. If not, go there. It will give you the rest of the information you’re looking for.

His heart raced.
Safe room
? he thought to himself. “Fuck!” he shouted, knowing exactly what his father was referring to. Alexander always thought that the room contained company files from before its move to a paperless system. “Martin,” he spat into the phone. “Bring the car around. I need to go to the office immediately.”

Within ten minutes, Alexander ascended the twenty-nine stories to his office. It was a Sunday so his non-essential office staff was not working, giving him plenty of privacy. He dashed down the hall, frantically punching the code into his office door. After swinging the door open, he ran to the bathroom, opening a small door on the far side of the tiled room.

He looked down at the stairs, knowing that all the answers lay just below him. Taking a deep breath, he descended the flight of stairs. He ran into a large metal door and quickly punched in his code, worried that it wouldn’t work. He breathed a sigh of relief when the door beeped, allowing him access. The sight before his eyes was overwhelming.

He entered the large reinforced steel room that seemed to take up the entire floor between the twenty-eighth and twenty-ninth story of the building. All along the walls, banker’s boxes were stacked high.

Upon closer inspection, he realized that the boxes contained items from Olivia’s past. His father had erased her life, but kept everything in those boxes.

Alexander grabbed a box and lifted the lid. He gasped. “Mr. Bear.”

“N
OW
, O
LIVIA
,
WHAT
IS
it about Alexander’s declaration of love that scares you?” Dr. Greenstein asked.

“What makes you think I’m scared?” she responded as she glanced out the window. It was a dismal Tuesday in March. There was a mixed precipitation falling. Olivia hated that type of weather. It made her angry. Either snow or rain, but don’t do this in the middle bullshit. It seemed that everything irritated her lately. Well, at least since she ran from Alexander Sunday morning after he said the three words that scared her most.

“Well, it’s fairly obvious, isn’t it? You’re trying to find some excuse to not have to say those words back. Olivia, do you remember the last person you said ‘I love you’ to?”

Olivia searched her brain for a memory of saying those words. She was coming up short. She couldn’t remember. It wasn’t the day of the crash. When her father had told her that he and her mother loved her, instead of responding in kind, she simply said, “I know”.

“I can’t remember,” she said quietly.

“Olivia, I want to try something.” Dr. Greenstein got up and pushed a button, causing the blinds to drop on the windows, shielding all the light from the room except for a dim lamp on the desk. “I want you to lie down and close your eyes.”

Olivia looked at the doctor like she was crazy.

“Please, Olivia. Humor me.”

“Fine,” she exhaled as she lay down.

“Now, I want you to just breathe for a little bit. Inhale and exhale.” Dr. Greenstein’s voice had changed to a soft singing-type sound.

“Just keep breathing and focus on that alone. Shut the rest of the world out. Forget about everything. It’s just you and me, okay? Inhale. Exhale.” Olivia relaxed, listening to the doctor’s gentle voice.

“Now, let’s go back for a minute. What do you remember about growing up? Before the crash, what memory stands out?”

“I remember playing the piano with my mom. I remember singing with her.”

“And what songs did you sing?”

“A lot of Beatles songs. My mother loved the Beatles.”

“Do you remember any of the songs you would sing with your mom?”

“I’m trying.”

“Picture yourself sitting at the piano with your mother.”

“I am.”

“Look at the piano keys. What notes is she playing? Can you visualize it?”

Olivia held her hands up as if she was playing the piano, tracing where her mother’s hands would have been, humming along to a slow, haunting version of
If I Fell
, the memory of singing the song while her mother played the piano making her smile. She was singing that song to someone…someone other than her mother.

“Good, Olivia. Good. So you can remember. Now, even if you don’t remember telling your mother that you loved her, do you remember feeling the love you had for her at that moment?”

“I remember singing that song for someone else… There was someone else in the room…a boy with green eyes. I loved him… I know I did, but I just can’t say those words.”

“Do you think the reason you’re so scared of telling Alexander you love him is because you regret not telling your parents, and this green-eyed boy that you’ve been dreaming of, that you loved them?”

“But that was just in a dream. The only memories I have of my life before the crash come from my dreams.”

“Are they just dreams, though? Okay, sit up, dear.”

She sat up and the doctor opened the shades, the grayish light filtering into the room once more. “Olivia, when we go through a traumatic event, our bodies try to protect themselves. That includes the brain. You experienced a traumatic event when your parents died. Your brain tried to protect you by shutting out certain memories. Now your brain is showing you more about what happened that day and before, telling you it’s okay for you to face these fears of yours. I need you to start doing that.”

“But I’ve been dreaming about other things, too. Stuff that definitely could not have happened. My father is dead so why are my dreams telling me he’s not?” Olivia questioned, staring at the doctor.

“I don’t know, Olivia. Our brains sometimes take our deepest wishes and try to turn them into reality.”

She sat and thought about everything that the doctor had been saying to her. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t think I can tell Alexander that I love him.”

“But you
do
love him, don’t you?”

Olivia shrugged her shoulders, hoping to avoid answering that question, desperately trying to convince herself that she didn’t love him.

“Think about that feeling of total contentment you had when you would play music with your mother. Do you remember what that felt like? The love you felt for her?”

“Yeah. So what?” Olivia rolled her eyes.

“Have you ever felt something similar when you were with Alexander? And don’t focus on when you’ve been intimate together.”

Olivia sat there and thought about it. She remembered how she felt when she abandoned Alexander all those months ago. How she felt when he found her in Florida and she lied to his face, saying she didn’t care about him. How, when she found out he was engaged, she didn’t think she would survive. How, when she came back and poured her heart out to him, he turned her away. It was painful, but was it love? Why did he have to say those three little words? Of all the words in the English language, the word “love” scared her the most.

“Olivia, I know you. I know that you have trouble expressing your feelings normally. I know this is scary for you. Love is scary, but it’s part of the human experience.”

Olivia remained silent, thinking about what the doctor was saying. She wasn’t just scared of her feelings for Alexander. She was petrified, worried that something would happen to him. She cared deeply for him, but would it always be enough? Olivia knew that she was an extremely frustrating woman. Would Alexander always stand by her side?

“I’m sorry, dear,” Dr. Greenstein said, interrupting Olivia’s thoughts. “We’re out of time for today, but I want to pick this up on Thursday. In the meantime, remember that pain you felt when you walked out on Alexander back in October. And the pain you felt when you thought he was about to marry another woman. Relive that pain somehow. Remember the heartache. Think about whether that pain was from loving him, and express those feelings to him.”

Olivia left the office, thinking about what the doctor said as Carter drove her home. She cared for Alexander, but it couldn’t be love. She made it her mission to take the next few days and really convince herself of that.

I
T
WAS
DAY
TWO
of no contact from Olivia, and Alexander thought he was going to lose his mind. He tried to respect her wishes and give her time to think about things, but it was driving him crazy.

He had spent the last few days going through all the stuff that his father had boxed up in the safe room…photos, trinkets, and tons of paperwork. There were deeds to property owned by a corporation set up by his father years ago…the beach house on Cape Cod, the house in Mystic, a house in Charleston, a house on Folly Beach. Alexander soon found the corporate paperwork. Sarah Adler was named sole shareholder.

He scoffed.
She doesn’t even look like a Sarah!

As he rummaged through box after box, his thoughts were consumed by Olivia and the past that she knew nothing about. He couldn’t stand the thought of another second without her. She had asked for time and Alexander wanted to give it to her, but there were more pressing issues now. He felt like she was slipping through his fingers yet again. He swore to protect her and, with the new information he had learned, that was becoming more and more difficult, particularly considering that her true identity was known by people who could do serious harm to her. He had two of his best people on her protection detail, but he felt lost, not being able to see her himself.

So many times he had dialed the first nine numbers of her phone number, stopping before dialing the last. How much longer could he possibly go on feeling like this and how could he possibly tell her everything now? That they were kids together? That he swore he would always protect her? That he cried at her funeral? That he never gave up hope she was alive? That his father kept her protected all those years and gave his life for hers? That her own father had found patterns in various kickbacks and government contracts? That some of these politicians were found to be in bed with known foreign terrorists? That her father had tried to force those responsible to come clean or he would expose them? That they were killed by a “cleaner” in order to silence him? That someone knew the evidence Olivia’s father had collected was never destroyed? That they seem to believe Olivia has the answer to the location of the evidence? That they would stop at nothing to destroy that evidence, including destroying anyone who got in the way?

His cell phone rang, waking him from his thoughts. “Hey, Carol. What’s going on?”

“Alex, thank God. I’ve been trying to get in touch with Olivia and she’s not calling me back,” she said frantically.

Alexander stood up and walked over to his office window. “Slow down. What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“Simon is being released this Friday. And his lawyer was good. He got the protective order thrown out. The board agreed that he had been punished enough, and all evidence indicated that he had turned things around and that his attack on Olivia was just an isolated event. He’ll be free to contact her with no repercussions.”

“That protective order was just a piece of paper anyway. Don’t worry. Marshall and Carter have been keeping an eye on her,” he responded dryly.

There was a long pause. “Is everything okay, Alex? I heard about what happened. Granted, I never know if anything on those gossip websites is true.”

Alexander slumped into his chair. “I guess it’s true. I freaked when I saw pictures of us together. There had always been some out there, but now they know her name. And, with everything going on, I was just worried for her safety. I’m pretty sure Kiddish knows who she is.”

“You’re right about that,” Carol said.

“Yeah. So I may have overreacted a bit, knowing that it would be even harder to protect her with her name being associated with mine. She thinks it’s because I’m ashamed of her and still sleeping with Adele and Chelsea. Which I’m not, but I know it didn’t look good.”

“You suck with women, Alex!” Carol exclaimed.

“Hey. Watch it!” he replied jokingly before lowering his voice. “I told her I love her, Carol.”

The line went quiet as she processed that information. “How did that go?” she asked, finally breaking the silence.

“She told me that I couldn’t possibly love her.”

“
Do
you love her?”

“Of course I do!” Alexander shouted. “I’ve loved that girl ever since I can remember!”

“Calm down, Alex. Are you sure your love is for her, or for the girl you knew all those years ago?”

“It’s the same fucking person, Carol!” Alexander slammed his fist down on his desk.

“I know that,” she replied calmly.