A Veiled Reflection (2 page)

Jillian nodded. Her mother had a way of meddling in her daughters' lives.

Judith continued. “We'll be completely on our own once we're together. Father will certainly never offer any financial support.”

“No, I don't suppose he will,” Jillian replied thoughtfully. She tried to imagine herself going west in her sister's place. A part of her longed to break from her confined environment, but another part was equally terrified. At least here in her confinement she knew safety, even luxury. Out there in the West—well, who knew what dangers might await?

“You really are asking a great deal, Judith. You know that, don't you?” Yet Jillian knew what her sister asked of her was really no different than any other time. Judith always expected the impossible from Jillian, and this was no exception.

“Please, Jillian, I wouldn't ask if it weren't so important. Besides, you'll have the time of your life. Think about the adventure. You were just telling me yesterday how much you longed for a bit of change.”

“This is considerably more than a bit,” Jillian replied. But even as she answered, her heart began to soften to the idea. Her fears of the unknown were nothing compared to her love for Judith.

Jillian studied her twin for a moment and sighed. There wasn't much she wouldn't do for Judith. She adored her sister and admired her free spirit and adventurous approach to life. Jillian had always longed to be more spontaneous—more willing to take chances and risks—but apparently Judith had received all the ability in those areas. Jillian faithfully remained the tame and quiet one.

“So will you do it? Please!” Judith begged.

“But, Judith,” Jillian tried to reason, “I know nothing about Mr. Harvey's system. You've written me enough letters to make me realize how intricate and focused on detail your job as a Harvey Girl can be. How can I hope to understand my duties—much less pull off a believable impersonation of you—when I haven't a clue what will be expected of me?”

“I can teach you,” Judith said, getting very excited as she sensed Jillian's defense slip. “I know I can. There's really nothing to it once you know the routine.”

“But you're expected back there in four days. Your train leaves tomorrow. How can I possibly learn everything that quickly?”

“It'll work out,” Judith replied, coming to where Jillian stood. She reached out to take hold of Jillian's hands and smiled. “I know you can handle this,” she encouraged. “You've always been able to deal with the unexpected. Look at how well you handled Grandma coming to live with us, and now her death and funeral.”

Jillian shuddered involuntarily. Death was not a subject she cared to discuss. Even the mere mention of it caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand taut. “I didn't handle much of anything connected to Grandmother's funeral.” She looked away and tried to steady her nerves. It was silly to get so upset simply thinking about such matters. But in truth, Jillian found this to be her Achilles' heel.

Judith patted her hand. “Forgive me. I forgot how hard these things are on you. I didn't mean to cause you grief.”

Jillian shook her head. “I don't know why it's so hard to face up to. I was such a ninny when Grandma took sick. I guess I just kept thinking of all her superstitions about sick and dying people. ‘Don't look them in the eye or you'll be next. Don't kiss a dying person on the mouth or they'll try to steal your soul.' I mean, I know it's all ridiculous, but that old woman had me tossing and turning with nightmares for the past five years! Every time someone opened an umbrella or broke something a certain way, we were all cursed and needed to look for death on the horizon.”

Judith nodded. “Why do you think I fled to work for Mr. Harvey? I figured at twenty-two, I deserved to put my sights on life, not death. Now a year later, I decided I might as well try married life.”

“You make it sound as if you're trying on a new outfit. Marriage is a lifetime commitment,” Jillian told her sister quite seriously.

“Silly goose, of course it is. I wouldn't think of it any other way. It's just that some women go into marriage acting as though their life is over. I plan for it to be just the start of yet another adventure.”

Jillian shook her head. “I wish I could be like you.” She honestly meant every word. Just thinking about Judith's proposition caused her heart to beat a little faster. Could she really do it—just go and start a new life?

“Here's your chance,” Judith replied, squeezing her sister's hand. “Go take my place in Arizona. It's just until June—barely three months. And you can keep the money you earn. Not that you'll have much need for it. Mr. Harvey houses and feeds you and even has your laundry done for you. It's a pampered life on some counts.”

Jillian raised a brow and looked at her mirrored image. “Since when is working ten to twelve hours a day serving food and cleaning up afterward a pampered life?” Hard work had never frightened her, but in all honesty, she'd never really been called upon to do such a task. Until now.

Judith laughed. “It has its moments. Haven't I made that clear in my letters? I mean, look at me now. I came home on a railroad pass for Grandmother's funeral. I didn't have to pay a cent. They gave me two weeks' leave for the funeral, and they will even provide meals on the trip back to Arizona. Please, Jillian.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “I love him so much.”

“I just don't see why you can't wait,” Jillian said, carefully studying her sister's flushed features. “There's something more, isn't there?”

Judith turned crimson at this. “You always know, don't you?”

“I can sense something's going on. I just don't know what.”

Judith looked away. “I . . . let things get out of hand with Martin.” Jillian immediately understood her sister's meaning. “Oh, Judith.”

Her twin held up a hand. “Please don't lecture me. I know it was wrong. But the moon was bright and the air crisp and cold, and . . . well, he was so dashing in his brown wool, and when he took me to show me the place he's been living . . .” Judith hesitated, her expression forlorn. “I just couldn't help myself.”

“So now you may well carry his child, and by June your actions would be evident.”

Judith nodded slowly. “There's no way to know for sure—not this soon—but it is a possibility.” She looked genuinely remorseful. “It wasn't the way I planned it. It just happened. Please, Jillian—do this for me. I know I've been foolish, but I do love Martin and there isn't any sense in putting off our marriage. Not now.”

Jillian sighed, knowing that she would do whatever Judith asked of her, no matter the cost to herself. But then again, the cost didn't seem that bad. Arizona did sound like an adventure, and who knew what might await her there. She smiled at the thought of actually taking a chance at something. “Mother and Father will positively rupture an organ,” she said conspiratorially.

Judith grinned. “Oh, thank you! I just know you'll love it in Arizona. It's so warm and dry, and the scenery is so very different from Missouri.”

“I hardly imagine I'll have time for sight-seeing. You'd better start filling me in on what I have to do.”

“Well, if you were paying attention to my letters, you pretty much know the rules.”

Jillian nodded. “No fraternizing with other Harvey employees. If I wish to date, I must have my housemother's permission. Change my clothes if they get dirty. Curfew is at ten.” She glanced upward, as if to find the rules written on the ceiling of her bedroom. “Service with a smile, right?” She looked back at Judith, who was staring at her with the most overwhelming look of love and adoration.

“This means the world to me, Jillian. I can't thank you enough.” Judith's voice was husky, and tears threatened to spill down her cheeks. “I honestly didn't mean for things to happen this way. I know what I did was wrong, but I know this is the only way to make it right. I promise I'll never ask another thing of you so long as we both live. But even so, please forgive me.”

Jillian hugged her sister tightly. “You are forgiven as far as I'm concerned. You know very well that my love for you could never be disrupted by your antics. At least I won't have to endure Mother's parade of suitors on a daily basis.”

“Is she still tormenting you with that?”

Jillian pulled away and nodded. “It's as bad as ever. She's located some distantly related baron who needs a wife. If he won't do, then there's a bevy of commoners that she'll settle for in this country. You know how Mother is about being descended from Bavarian nobility; she won't be happy until she sees us sitting on thrones or dancing with dukes. I simply haven't written to tell you about it because I figured why bother? She wants her daughters married well and living as happily as she is.”

“Given Father's overbearing nature, I don't see how she can be so happy. The man is positively impossible!” Judith declared. “He has berated me since I walked in the door. Chiding me for signing a contract without his approval. Admonishing me that I have done irreparable harm to the reputation of this family.”

Jillian laughed. “If he only knew the half of it. Still, I can hardly see your joining up with the Harvey Company as a harm to our reputation. We've managed to maintain the second pew on the right-hand side in church. Mother and I are still invited to tea by the best families, and as far as I know, Father has made more money in his many investments over this last year than he ever made in the past. So if that's harming us, by all means, Judith, harm away.”

Judith giggled and looked toward the bedroom door suspiciously. She sobered instantly. “You don't think we've been overheard, do you? If someone tells Mother or Father of our conversation, then our plans will be for naught.” She shook her head and dropped her gaze to her hands. “I should have been more like you, Jillian. I can't imagine life without Martin, but I couldn't bear to lose you over this. I thought going away to work would get Martin out of my heart, but if anything, it just planted him there more firmly. I want to spend my life loving this man and raising a family with him.” She looked up, and her expression broke through any final reservations Jillian harbored.

“Don't worry about anything.” Jillian went to the door and glanced out into the hallway. The entire floor appeared deserted. “I doubt anyone would tell or do anything to interfere with your happiness. Even Charlotte finds Mother's constant harassment toward matrimony to be an annoying inconvenience. I'm certain she would applaud your desire to marry for love.”

“How long has Charlotte worked as Mother's personal maid? Fourteen, fifteen years?” Judith questioned, wiping at her tears. “You'd think after being around this family that long, Charlotte would long to run away to Arizona herself.”

Jillian imagined that might well be true. In fact, the more she thought about her sister's appeal, the more attractive the idea sounded. Why not go west and pose as Judith? After all, what harm could there be? The two were identical in looks, and even though their personalities were a definite contrast, Jillian could pretend to be outgoing and exciting. Couldn't she?

Silently contemplating her next move, Jillian barely heard the supper conversation around her. Her father grumbled and growled disappointment in Judith's plans to return to the Harvey Company, and her mother addressed the issue of taking Judith and Jillian to Europe, where she could get both of them married off before they passed an acceptable age for matrimony.

Jillian gazed at the immaculate room with its gilded gold-framed paintings and portraits. Bavarian ancestors stared down at her from the wall as if to question her decision to help Judith, while overhead a crystal chandelier bestowed electric light in a warm and steady glow. Would she miss it? Would she find the rustic nature of Judith's tiny Arizona water stop to be an unbearable punishment?

I'm twenty-three years old and I've never even contemplated living on my
own,
Jillian reasoned. And in truth, she hadn't. For all of her mother's meddling and continuous parade of suitors, Jillian had simply taken it in stride like a good daughter. She had been raised to be ornamental and lovely, gifted in singing and playing the piano, and graceful and elegant in dancing and formal entertainment. She had been trained for one purpose and one purpose only: to be the wife of an affluent, noble-born man. And if not of a noble birth, then certainly one given over to privilege and wealth.

“Jillian, you haven't said a word all evening. You aren't ill, are you?”

Jillian snapped to attention at her father's words. “No, Father. I'm just a bit weary.”

He nodded. “Yes, well, with my mother gone to her reward, I believe it might do you and your mother both a great deal of good to travel abroad.”

Gretchen Danvers smiled lovingly. “But it would be tiresome without you by my side. I cannot even think of it unless you would consider joining us.”

“I'm afraid that's impossible,” Colin Danvers said, wiping his mouth with his linen napkin. He dropped it down beside his plate and signaled the servant to remove his dishes from the table. “I have an elaborate affair to see to, one that will take me to Chicago for the better part of two weeks. I leave tomorrow.”

Jillian and Judith exchanged concerned glances. If their father was to be at the train station anywhere near the time of Judith's planned departure, it could prove to be a problem.

“Judith leaves tomorrow as well,” their mother interjected before either of the girls could question their father. “Perhaps you could ride together to the station.” Jillian tensed and tried hard not to look in the least bit concerned.

“I'm afraid that won't work. I'm leaving first thing in the morning. Judith's train isn't until evening.”