A Warrior's Return (16 page)

Almost immediately I felt a prick to my
spirit for the harshness of my thoughts. Everyone deserves to be
woken out of a nightmare!

I started to get up, when Cat rose up out of
her sleep on a choked off scream. I watched, as she panted for
breath, as sweat streamed off of her and I sharply regretted not
waking her sooner. In the half light I watched as she brought the
pistol up that she still gripped until it was before her face. She
turned it until it faced her!

She gripped the gun with both hands, every
muscle and tendon in her arms tensed. I was on the verge of crying
out to her to stop from killing herself, when with a disgusted
grunt she threw the pistol to the side and got up off her bunk and
stalked out into the night.

I got to my feet to follow after her, but a
big black hand closed over my entire shoulder and stopped me.
Titus’s deep voice rumbled out from the bunk above mine.

“That little girl is plum messed up! Past
fixing by my recollection. She may have left that pistol in here,
but you can sure bet she’s got something stashed somewhere. You
best stay in here. Dat little girl got no love for you in her heart
for sure!”

I reached up and touched the massive hand,
“I missed one opportunity tonight already, don’t make me miss
another Titus.”

Reluctantly the big hand let go and I walked
forward out into the night. There was a half moon out and it wasn’t
hard to spot the bright platinum blonde hair against the darker
desert background. Cautiously, not trying to shield her from the
sounds of my approach, I stopped to stand ten feet behind her.

Sullenly she asked as she stood with arms
folded tightly, “What do you want?”

“To help.” I responded softly.

“To help! Look lady if you want to help me
then you could disappear back to wherever you came from! That’s how
you can help me!”

I shook my head softly, which was a wasted
gesture seeing as she had her back to me.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“No! You probably can’t, so why shouldn’t I
end your perfect little set up here and now?” She said, as she
wheeled around to face me with a tiny little pistol gripped in one
hand pointed directly at my heart.

Instead of anger I felt only sympathy for
her, as I saw the raw pain in her eyes. I had stared death in the
face before, but frequent exposure to it can’t completely callus
one to its paralyzing force.

“Put the gun down. I’m not your enemy. I
only want to be your friend.” I said softly and cautiously, even as
I was ready to dive off to the side at a moment’s notice.

“Yes you are!” Cat intoned angrily as she
pointed hard with the gun at my head.

“I had a chance, maybe not much of one, but
at least something of a shot with him! But now he has someone
perfect like you and he’ll never bother to look at me again!”

“This is all about Talaric?” I asked
incredulously.

She didn’t answer, but just stood there
holding on to the gun.

“You think I’m perfect! I assure you I’m far
from that! You know what I was when Talaric found me? A cheap
whore! You think that I deserved to come along with him? I didn’t!
You think that I planned any of this? Because I tell you I didn’t!
Am I taking advantage of what God has given me? Yes! Do I hope that
this amazing ride continues? With all my heart and if you think I’m
going to let a little blond headed idiot like you take it all away
from me you’ve got another thing coming!”

I walked up to her and closed my hand over
the end of the small pistol and wrenched it from her fingers and
threw it to the side. She stared at me in a mixture of dazed shock
and amazement, which mirrored how I felt inside in relation to my
own actions.

“Now let’s get this straight! I haven’t
stolen Talaric! He claimed me and I’ll willingly be whatever he
asks me to be and be grateful for it! If he had wanted you he
would’ve let you know, because he is a gentleman. I can well
understand the loss you are feeling for him, because he is one of
the rarest of men alive, but that does not give you an excuse to
try to ruin my happiness! My advice to you is to pull your head up
out of the sand. If you are so dissatisfied with life and have no
hope of it ever getting any better than go ahead and pull the
trigger and blow your fool head off and do the rest of us the favor
of not having to step lightly in and around the unstable emotional
mess that you are! However, if you decide you want to make a go of
it and really be a part of this team and turn over a new leaf then
I want you to know that I’m here for you! I’ll help you out however
I can. I’ll pray for you, I’ll even be your friend, if you’ll let
me, but it all starts with you. How about it?”

She stared at me for all of two seconds
before bursting into tears and curling in on herself. I couldn’t
but help to step forward and put my arms around her. She seemed to
welcome my embrace and stepped in closer to me and literally balled
her heart out against me.

Layers of bitterness seemed to wash out of
her and I tried to calm her, “Easy Cat.”

Her voice was blubbery from crying as she
said against my chest, “Please don’t call me that!”

My hands stilled on her back, as I sensed
something deeper in her statement.

“Is Catherine okay?”

She nodded not looking up. I waited a little
while and then asked softly still holding onto her firmly, “What
are the nightmares about Catherine?”

She shook her head no and I leaned forward
laying my cheek on her practically white hair sensing the jist of
what was eating up the little woman in my arms. I commiserated all
the more for her.

“I know how it feels to talk about things
that are deeply sensitive. Things that make you feel ashamed, even
as I understand why you don’t want to talk about it I can still
tell you that the best thing for you is to do what’s hardest to
do.”

Catherine had stopped crying for the most
part and was only quivering slightly from the aftermath of her
outburst. I pulled her head to the side so she could breathe easier
and I combed her hair with the fingers of one hand, waiting.

“You know what the worst thing about being
around really good people like Talaric, Sparky, Titus and even you
is?”

I nodded my chin no against her head.

“It’s the knowledge that no matter how much
I try I’ll never be as good and that I’m destined for hell!”

“That isn’t the way God looks at things
Catherine! Nothing you’ve done or have had done to you is
unforgivable!”

Stubbornly she twisted her head back and
forth in denial, “You don’t understand!”

“Then help me understand Catherine!”

There was silence for a while and then I
decided to press her.

“Were you molested?” Grudgingly she nodded
slightly.

“Someone close to you?”

“My daddy.”

She was quiet for a little while and then
started to talk, “My dad and mom were always fighting. I hated it,
especially my mom. She always came out on top of everything it
seemed and she cheated on daddy and told him about it in front of
us all the time. I hated how she shamed him.”

“You loved your daddy a lot didn’t you.” I
interjected softly.

“Yes, he was always nice to us, unlike mom!
She never would have anything to do with us, said we were just a
burden on her. Then daddy started playing around with me. I didn’t
think anything of it at first and then it became more and I didn’t
know what to do. I couldn’t tell anyone. There wasn’t anyone I
could tell anyway. He said he needed it and that if I wasn’t there
for him that he might just end it all. So I did what he
wanted.”

“Your father didn’t love you like he should
have Catherine. You thought he loved you only to find out as he
used you that he really didn’t. He cared more about his own selfish
feelings than any love for you or responsibility as a parent.”

“Yes.” Catherine said softly.

“Your mother found out didn’t she?”

She nodded, “I thought she was going to kill
him, but she didn’t. He hadn’t done anything to my younger sister
and my mother took her away to live with a sister of hers. She kept
me in the car with her and told me that she hadn’t realized how far
she had pushed daddy for him to do what he had with me. She said
that she was still in love with him and was going to try to make
another go of it with him. She turned to me then and said that
there was only room in the house for one whore and it wasn’t me.
She told me to get out of the car and she drove off leaving me on
the street corner. That was the last I saw of her or my
family.”

I had thought my life story was bad! I had
at least had a mother who loved me.

“That isn’t all of it is it honey?” I asked
holding her tighter, as I felt a deep rising shake quiver through
her whole body.

“No! I was pregnant!”

My eyes closed and I just held her, “How old
were you?”

“Ten.” She sobbed out.

“A charity took me in. They asked a lot of
questions, but I didn’t tell them anything. I hated everyone and
everything, but most of all I hated the unborn life inside of me. I
gave birth and the doctor told me the baby was born dead.
Stillborn. I was elated at the news and then I saw the baby. He was
beautiful! All I could think of was that my poor baby would have
been born alive, if it had sensed the love that a true mother
should have had. Instead I had acted like my own mother whom I
detested. I killed my baby as surely, as if I had pulled the
trigger. I’m going to hell!”

“No, no, no! Catherine that is not the way
of it at all! Oh honey listen to me please!”

We talked and talked for hours and I broke
through a lot of the bitter layers and abuses she had heaped up on
herself. She already had a faith in God, probably gained simply by
the company that she had kept the past few years. She just hadn’t
believed that she was redeemable.

I still marveled at the gift of grace and
how it had been poured out over my own life. By the time we were
done she had a workable framework to start over with and a friend
to help her along on her journey. I had never thought that God
could use my own disappointments and weaknesses in life to minister
to someone else’s needs and yet it had just happened.

I felt sort of like I had helped pay forward
what had been given to me, only God had given me both the
opportunity to try and the strength to do it and all I had supplied
was the choice, of which I had grudgingly agreed to at the time. It
had been so worth it though.

I felt unbelievably good, like I was a part
of something that was truly special. Something truly worth doing
and I hoped that I would be more willing and ready the next
opportunity I got to share the grace given to me.

Catherine stayed behind in the desert to be
with God for little while before the sun finished peaking up over
the horizon. As I drew closer to the plane I picked out the darker
outline of Titus casually leaning against the plane’s side. In the
shadowy darkness his teeth shone out like chips of alabaster
marble.

“You sure knows how to grab the bull by the
horns Miss Eva! Lord have mercy you’re a spunky gal! Captain better
watch himself around you honey!”

I ducked my head in embarrassment only to
have a big finger pull my chin up.

The smile was gone and replaced with a look
of utter seriousness, “That was a mighty fine thing you’ve done for
dat girl. Looks like ya helped her get her soul back on track.
That’s about the best thing anyone can do for another, I reckon, in
this here life. You can be proud of yourself . You did good!”

I nodded and started to go in when I caught
sight of the rifled leaning up against the side of the plane.

My eyes rose questioning up to Titus’s and
he grinned again, “I got your back Miss Eva. No sense in telling
Blondie over there how close she came to being a redhead I
reckon.”

I blinked as his meaning became clear and
strange enough I didn’t doubt what he had said at all. I looked out
at the rising sun. It was good to have friends that had your back
when you needed it. It was a new experience for me and one that I
was relishing along with everything else in my life right now.

My eyes widened, as I stared out into the
desert, “Titus!” I screamed before taking off as fast as my feet
could carry me in the direction I had been looking at moments
before.

It was Talaric and Eleanor. Before I reached
them I saw Talaric stumble to his knees and then I was diving onto
the sand beside them. They were both badly burned and their lips
were cracked and bleeding.

Talaric appeared as if he was unconscious,
even as he was kneeling upright. Titus grabbed a hold of him and
held him up. Moments later Sparky and Catherine arrived and lifted
Eleanor gently out of Talaric’s arms.

She was mumbling something about
repopulating the old island and the joys and rich rewards of duck
hunting. Titus picked Talaric up, as if he was a feather and
started for the plane following after Sparky and Catherine, who
were carrying Eleanor.

Over his shoulder Titus said, “Bring the
pack along Miss Eva. It sure must be important for him to drag it
across the desert like he has.”

He indicated the scuffed up bag lying on the
sand behind where Talaric had fallen. I reached for it and carried
it along, even as I tried to steady Talaric’s head, as Titus moved
quickly toward the plane.

I was knotted up inside with fear for him,
“He’ll be alright Miss Eva. He’s got something to live for. He’s
got you.”

Two days passed by and Eleanor came to her
senses so to speak. She was in a lot of pain and sharp tongued as
ever, strange enough it was Catherine who took over caring for her.
Eleanor took to calling her Katie and the new name stuck.

No one seemed concerned about Talaric’s
prolonged rest. Sparky had hooked an IV up to him and for all
general purposes he appeared to simply be resting and recharging
from a harrowing experience, if anything Eleanor was blabbering
about was true.