A Widow Redefined (26 page)

Mom woke me late in the evening. “You hungry?” she asked. “It’s after eight.”

“Yeah. Come to think of it. I am hungry.”

I followed her to the kitchen and reheated leftovers.

“How was the funeral?” she asked. “Was there a big turn out?”

“I didn’t go, Ma.”

“You didn’t go to the funeral?”

“No,” I said calmly. “I did something else.”

Mom knew I didn’t do well at funerals, so she just smiled and looked uncomfortable, probably hoping not to say something that could further upset me.

“I went to the Botanic Garden,” I said. “A place Sabrina and I visited once.” I paused, then added, “Thanks for asking, though. A normal person would’ve gone.”

Then I went over and gave her a hug.

W
eeks passed and life went on. I worked every day and ran with Moose each night. Tyler went to school and continued his art lessons. And Mom started a new book at her club. We were settling in for a long, boring winter.

Then, a week after Thanksgiving, we got clobbered with our first real snowstorm. The kind that keeps you shoveling the driveway in shifts. I’d just finished my turn and came into the kitchen, collapsing in a chair. My fingers were cold even with gloves on. My face was beet red and pulsed with numbing pain. When I took my hat off, my hair sprung into the air from static.

Tyler laughed. “Mom. You look so funny right now!”

I smiled back at him, happy that my pitiful state could amuse him, then got up and headed to the bathroom so I could comb my hair and put it into a ponytail. I heard the doorbell ring, which I thought was odd because we weren’t expecting anyone. I couldn’t imagine it was Jehovah’s Witnesses in this weather. I blew my nose and wiped it dry. I’d have to rest a while before my next round of shoveling. I decided to go lie on the sofa with Moose.

As I left the bathroom and headed down the hall, I heard my mom talking to someone.

“Why don’t you come in out of the cold,” she said.

I wondered who the heck she was talking to, so I rounded the corner to find out. As I did, I made eye contact with the unexpected visitor.

It was Miguel.

Oh my God! This can’t be happening. He can’t be here, at my house. I looked like a hobo who just lost her whiskey bottle—Unbelievable!

He’d already seen me and noticed that I’d seen him. There was nothing left to do but face him.

Mom had seen me too. “Amy,” she called out. “A gentleman named Miguel is here to see you.”

As Miguel wiped his boots, my mom eyed me, and a satisfied smirk crossed her face. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Instead, I walked forward to deal with the issue head on.

The electricity in the room, fueled mostly by my mother’s excitement, scared me; I thought it might cause my hair to stand up in the air again. Miguel looked up at me with a confident smile, then reached out to shake my hand. Just then Moose came running in to see what was going on. He proceeded to run up and jump on our guest, pawing at him, wanting to play.

“Moose. Down!” I demanded.

“It’s okay,” Miguel replied. “He can probably sense I’m an animal lover. He smells my cat.”

Gordito.

“I’m so sorry,” I continued, shooing the dog away. “He’s still kind of new to the family. We haven’t trained him as much as we would’ve liked to yet.”

“It’s not a problem,” he said.

Mom stood there, watching the awkward scene and decided to save me. “Why don’t you leave your boots to dry and come into the kitchen. I can make coffee or tea. Which would you prefer?”

“Tea. Thank you,” Miguel said, then followed her out of the room.

I walked behind them, embarrassed to think of him in my messy house, so completely different from Sabrina’s beautiful place. And, to top things off, I looked about as attractive as a troll. This thought made me pause. Why was I so concerned about how I looked? I knew the answer, but I wasn’t ready to admit it. Not yet.

Miguel took the offered seat while my mom put some water in the teapot and began heating it up. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to be doing, so I shifted nervously from one foot to the other, wondering where Tyler was. I wished he’d show up so I’d have something to do. But he was nowhere in sight.

“Amy,” Mom said. “You know where the tea is. I’ll give you two space to chat.” Then she proceeded to walk out of the room, leaving me alone with him.

Normally, in this house, Tyler, my mom, and Moose were everywhere. There was hardly a moment’s privacy. Now that I wanted them around, they had scattered like rats.

“Amy… it is very nice to see you again,” Miguel said.

“Likewise,” I nodded.

He sat back in his chair and crossed his hands. I hadn’t noticed it until now, but he was carrying a briefcase. He set it on the ground, next to his chair.

“I see that I have startled you, showing up this way. I should have called first,” he said.

Miguel looked sideways at me, waiting for a response. I couldn’t figure out how he knew where I lived, let alone what my phone number was. But I decided not to bring that up.

I heard the teapot whistle, so I turned my attention back to that. “Is herbal tea okay?” I asked.

“Sure.”

“Any sugar?”

“No. Thank you.”

The politeness and the awkwardness was not a good combination. As I poured the tea into the mug, my hand shook.

“I thought I might see you at the funeral,” Miguel said, as I placed his cup in front of him.

“Um, yeah… that would make sense.” I pulled out a chair and sat opposite him. “I’m not too good at those things.”

Miguel offered a sincere look of understanding. And I didn’t feel judged. Instead, I felt compassion.

He took a sip of his tea. And as he did, I noticed his hands. He had neatly trimmed nails. The hands of a man who takes care of himself. One of the benefits of being in the white-collar profession.

He set his cup down and glanced at me. His face was still kind, like I’d remembered from when we met at the party. “I’ll bet you’re wondering why I’m here. Let me explain,” he said, while reaching down and opening his briefcase.

Miguel pulled out a manila folder and set it on the table. “You may or may not remember that I am a lawyer,” he said.

“I remember.”

He smiled, and I noticed his perfect white teeth again. The feeling of wanting to escape came over me, like the last time. But I couldn’t run this time. I was in my own house.

“Well, Ms. Bergman had me in charge of all her legal affairs, both business and personal. And I wanted to come and handle this in person.”

Miguel’s expression turned business-like. “Okay,” he said, as he opened the folder and pulled out some papers. “I am here to inform you that Ms. Bergman left you something in her will.”

My jaw dropped. Sabrina? Leave something to me? Why?

Miguel noticed the shocked expression on my face and then continued in a professional manner. “I will read to you exactly as it is written,” he said. “To my good friend, Amy White, the person who has taught me the most about true friendship, I bequeath twenty thousand dollars—”

“What?” I shrieked. “Are you kidding?”

In my unbelieving state, I’d rudely interrupted. Miguel was kind enough to pause. I tried to compose myself and said, “I’m sorry. I’m in… just a surreal place right now. Please continue.”

Miguel smiled and nodded. Then he backed up and continued. “I bequeath twenty thousand dollars to be used to travel to that special place where she has always wanted to go.”

He stopped and looked up at me. I was experiencing a mixture of emotions. Disbelief, shock, gratitude, hysteria. I couldn’t mentally process what was happening to me. With all my loud antics, I was surprised my mom or Tyler hadn’t come into the room.

I stared at Miguel, overwhelmed with emotion.

“I guess I can see why you’d like to do these things in person,” I said.

He leaned back in his chair. “It is one of the better parts of my job, but not the only reason I wanted to come.”

“Bet you changed your mind about that when you came in,” I said, while pointing to my outfit. “There’s no glamour in shoveling,” I joked, a weak attempt to flirt.

“I suspect you could make moving snow seem elegant,” he replied.

I couldn’t hold back a smile. “Thanks,” I replied. “Oh, and by the way, I listened to your CD.”

This got his attention. He set the papers he was holding down. “And what did you think?” he asked.

“I liked it. It was completely unexpected and unique.”

Pride swelled in Miguel, and he seemed to expand a little. He looked a bit like Tyler gets when I give him a compliment.

“And what did you think of the ending?” he asked.

Yes. I remembered the ending, the part where he gave me his phone number and asked me to call. I shifted nervously from one foot to the other, unsure what to say. “Well, as you know, I haven’t called. I’m sorry if that hurt your feelings. But the truth is, I wasn’t ready for that. I’m not sure I’m ready for it now, either,” I answered.

Miguel seemed unfazed. He nodded his head and said, “I think I understand.”

With that over, he reached back into his pile of papers and pulled out a legal-sized envelope and handed it to me. “Well,” he said, “I guess all that is left is for me to give you this.”

I took the envelope.

“Your check, for the trip,” Miguel clarified.

I held the envelope in my hand, unable to comprehend it was actually mine, that she had given it to me.

Sabrina, even in death, was full of surprises. Her mysteries never ceased.

“Thank you,” I told Miguel. “I really appreciate you stopping by. This gift from Sabrina… I’m overjoyed beyond words.”

Miguel winked at me. “Enjoy,” he said, then as an afterthought added, “And now that you are a rich woman and my workload has slowed down significantly, perhaps you’ll take pity on me and treat me to dinner sometime.”

Not only was he kind, he was funny too. And apparently, he didn’t give up easy. I responded with a nervous giggle.

“If anything comes up,” he said, “I will contact you by phone or email. I got all your contact info from Sabrina’s assistant, Henry.”

Miguel got up, gathered his papers and shut his briefcase. “Well,” he said, then handed me a card. “Here’s my business card in case you need to reach me. Or if you want to send me any new clients. It would be much appreciated.”

It killed me how he could make such a smooth transition from asking for a date to soliciting new business. I guess it came with the territory. Part of his job was communicating well.

“Will do,” I replied.

I walked him to the front door and handed him his coat. He put his boots back on, buttoned his jacket, then put his hand out. I extended mine to shake his. Instead, Miguel bent down and kissed the top of it.

“Nos Vemos,” he said.

I had no idea what it meant. I smiled and said “Goodbye.”

After I shut the door, I stood behind the drapes, watching him. Once he climbed into his car and pulled away, I allowed myself to breathe. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I mentally replayed the memory of him kissing my hand, and then as I exhaled, I let myself physically react to how it made me feel.

No. I’m not ready.

I snapped my eyes open and shrugged off the feeling. I looked down at the envelope containing the check in my left hand. I wondered when she had added this to her will. Before the fight? After? I guess I’d never know. And it didn’t really matter. What was important were the words she’d written: To the person who taught me the most about true friendship.

A wave of sadness came over me. Even in the middle of this joy it couldn’t be stopped. I would never see Sabrina again. A tear escaped my eye, but I wiped it away and forced a smile. Then I turned and headed back into the kitchen.

Tyler and Mom had managed to show up without me noticing them.

“Who was that?” Tyler asked.

I glanced at Mom first. She still wore her smirk, then back at Tyler. “He’s a lawyer, for my friend, Sabrina.”

Tyler usually had a response to everything, at least a question. But he just stood blank-faced, waiting.

I saw Mom eye the envelope in my hand.

“Mom. Tyler. The man who was just here came to inform me that my friend Sabrina left me something in her will.”

Mom got it now, but Tyler was still confused.

I looked at my son. “When people want to leave someone a present, they have a lawyer put it in their will. It’s like a gift they want to give you if they pass away.”

Recognition showed on Tyler’s face. I was surprised he didn’t ask more questions. He stood there waiting for more, just like my mom.

“Sabrina left me twenty thousand dollars to go on a family vacation to Bora Bora,” I blurted.

“Oh my God!” Mom shrieked. Then she began jumping up and down. Moose began barking and running in circles. Tyler just stood there, stunned.

“You mean your friend is sending us to Bora Bora? We’re really going?” he asked, finally catching on.

“Yes!”

“Woo-hoo!” he cheered, then began jumping up and down with Mom, who was now teary-eyed with happiness.

I let loose and ran forward, joining them in celebration. We hugged and kissed each other, like we’d won the lottery. And, in a way, we did. I glanced down at Tyler. He had a permanent smile plastered to his face.

It was really happening.

“Ma. When are we gonna go?” Tyler asked.

“Maybe we could go on Christmas break? I’d have to check with my boss first.”

Tyler’s face lit up like a roman candle. I’d never seen him so excited about anything in his short life.

“Let’s go online and look at hotels,” Mom suggested.

We spent the rest of the afternoon snacking on Kettle chips and browsing travel sites, getting prices and reading reviews. We’d all but forgotten about the driveway. Airfares were steep and hotels were charging out of this world rates. It was how I remembered it when Justin and I had looked into it—completely out of reach… until today.

Twenty thousand seemed too much at first, but once I added everything up, it wasn’t too off the mark.

“Why don’t I stay home with Moose,” Mom suggested.