A Winter Awakening (4 page)

The snowflakes danced in the headlights of Jacob’s truck; they were in no hurry to reach the ground. Jacob sat in his Ford F350 waiting for Ellie to pick up the wine she wanted to take to Sarina's.  This was typical of Spring in Logan, Montana. Light, fluffy snow one day and warm sunshine the next. He checked his watch, again. He was doing his best to go with the flow about this evening, but this new friend of Ellie's, Sarina something-or-other, didn’t seem like she was a good fit for Ellie. Besides, he had his cattle to worry about. Birthing season would start any day and he shouldn’t be way from the ranch.

Ellie was such a good woman though. She had stepped right into her role as his wife and the woman of the ranch without missing a beat. Jacob wanted to do his best at being a great husband, even if that meant going to some social gathering when he would rather be home checking on the cattle or watching a game with his dad.

At last, he spotted her trotting out of the store. It was easy to spot her from a distance, even if he couldn’t yet make out her features. She had this way of making clumsy moves look graceful. She made her way to his truck, wine bottle in one hand and a bouquet of tulips in the other. 

That is my Ellie,
he thought.
She is always a gracious host and a gracious guest.
Jacob admired her as she jogged toward the car; water and slush spashing onto her jeans as she ran. She had taken his breath away the first time he saw her, and she still had the ability to do it today.  Thought she wasn't dressed in business attire today, she carried herself with that same self assurance that he noticed in her on that first day. She was comfortable in her own skin. 

"Okay, I think that should do it," she said to him as she closed the door. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, lingering long enough to take in her lavender scent.

“Can we just stay here for a while?” He tried to sneak a kiss on the soft flesh behind her ear.

When she swatted him away with a grin, he knew it was helpless, and started the truck.

“Which way?” he asked.

As he drove to Sarina’s, he made one last ditch effort to get out of the evening.

"You know," he said, "you deserve a girls night. Why don't I drop you off now and pick you up later?" He looked at her with a mock expression of charm, as if he was a little boy, his mom just caught him with his hand in the cookie jar, and he wanted to get out of the punishment.

"Oh, Jacob. I know you aren't looking forward to tonight, but it is good for us to spend more time with friends," replied Ellie.

"It seems a little uncomfortable when I am the only man.  Why can't we do this with a married couple?" After a pause, he added, "Why isn't she married?"

Ellie turned to Jacob, "Yea, it is unusual getting to know a divorced woman, isn't it?" 

Logan was a small, conservative town and all their friends were from the St. Catherine's parish. Jacob's parents had been married there by Father Holsted. Jacob and Ellie had been married by him too. All their friends received support and companionship from the elders of the church. Love the Lord, care for the land, and love your family; these are the values of Logan. Though the divorce rate was soaring in other parts of the nation, Logan seemed to be immune from these sorts of troubles. 

Sarina had caused quite a stir when she moved to this sleepy town. Not only was she divorced, but she wore clothing that was quite revealing of her very curvy figure. Ellie told him once she thought that Sarina had surgically enhanced her chest. Jacob turned into Sarina's neighborhood, suppressing a smile as he recalled the conversation. Ellie seemed to be wondering if Jacob would like her to do that. Didn't she understand that he loved her just the way she was? Besides, her figure didn't need any help. Ellie's voice brought his thoughts back to the present moment.

"I don't know why she is divorced, she doesn't talk much about it. It must have been bitter because she seems angry toward her ex-husband," mused Ellie.

Jacob pulled the pickup into the driveway of a small yellow bungalow. A covered porch stretched from the front door to the garage extending from the left side of the house.

"This must be it," Ellie said. 

Jacob noticed a bicycle and scooter propped against the wall of the garage.

“She has kids?” he asked.

"Try to be nice," sighed Ellie. "She is new to town and I'm one of the only people that have befriended her. She seems lonely, and I think it is important to her to get to know my husband." She leaned over to his side of the pickup, placing her face in front of his. Touching the tip of her nose to his, she whispered, "Thank you, babe."

Jacob sighed, gave her a peck, and got out of the car. 

As Sarina greeted them at the door, Jacob took a step back when he saw her two young boys peering at the visitors from behind the cover of their mother’s legs. 

I wonder what the divorce did to them,
he thought.

As the evening progressed, Jacob started to warm up to Sarina. She seemed nice enough, she was certainly loving toward her boys, and she seemed to be a good friend to Ellie too. In fact, she mentioned to Ellie that she would be happy to help Ellie make plans for the fundraiser just as soon as she put the boys to bed.  

Before he even had a chance to think about what he was proposing Jacob heard himself say, "I can play with the boys, Sarina. You two girls can focus on the event planning."

At this, both women turned to him with surprise. He knew the reason for Ellie's expression. His family was quite traditional. The women did the cooking and took care of the children, while the men worked and took care of the fields and animals. Of course, the men love their kids and played with them on occasion, but whenever one of his sisters or his mother was around, they were the ones to entertain the children.

He understood Ellie's surprise, because he felt the same way himself.
Why did I just say that?
he wondered.

Sarina's expression, though, he didn't understand.
Perhaps the men in her life have never spent time with children,
he thought.
Or maybe, I don't seem like a fatherly type.

"Sure, Jacob. That would be great!" replied Sarina. Jacob noticed that she did seem genuinely happy that he had offered.  Surprised, but pleased. 

As the two women talked about the big event in the dining room, Jacob followed the boys into the living room. They were identical twins, Jacob guessed about eight years old.    They both seemed shy, or perhaps just leery of him. Jacob tried to engage them in a game, but neither one responded to his attempts. 

"We could play hide-and-seek," he said. 

"No thanks," one of them responded.

"Or a game of cards?" he tried again.

"We don't know any games," said the other.

"Well, how about we see if there is a game on TV?" he tried again.

The boys shrugged. "I guess," one of them said.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Jacob looked around the room for a remote control. This was much better than a game of hide-and-seek anyway.

"What sports do you like?" he asked the boys as he flipped through the guide, looking for ESPN. When he didn't hear any response, he looked over at the boys.

They both sat on the couch, side by side, looking at him with eyes as wide as saucers. 

"Do you like sports?" he asked.

One of the boys shook his head slowly. The other finally said, "We, uh... no one has really taught us sports."

"Well, I'll teach you about something. Let's see what’s on. Baseball. Soccer. Football."  He looked at them as he spoke. None of these sports seemed to get a reaction out of either of the boys.

Jacob looked back at the TV. "Well, I see that a World Cup game is on, Germany is playing Mexico." he said. "Let's watch that." 

Jacob turned the channel to ESPN2 and noticed the game was only ten minutes in, and the score was still zero to zero. 

"Have you boys ever played soccer?" he asked. 

They both silently shook their heads no, but one of them crossed the room and took the seat next to Jacob on the couch. 

Jacob suppressed a smile, and started teaching the boys about the rules of soccer. They both listened with interest, and in time even started asking him a question or two.

“Now you need to pick a team to cheer for,” he said. “The one in red and black stripes is Germany. Do you know where that is?”

The boys stared with their big blue eyes, but didn’t speak.

“I’ll take that as a no,” he said. “Germany is in Europe – across the Atlantic Ocean.”

One of the boys smiled, and nodded as if he wanted Jacob to continue.

“The other team, the one in green and white, is Mexico. That country is…”

“Next to us!” one of the boys exclaimed.

“That is right!”

Jacob relaxed into the situation, and within an hour they and were thoroughly enjoying the game. 

With only five minutes left on the clock, and the score was tied one-one. Sarina poked her head around the corner and told the boys it was time for bed.

They groaned and begged Sarina to let them watch the end of the game. Jacob looked up at her and noticed that she was looking him over. 

"They are really enjoying the game," he said to her. 

She gave the boys a stern look and said, "Okay, but then it is straight to bed!" 

They looked back at the TV. She turned her eyes to Jacob, gave him a wink, and headed back to the dining room.

When the game ended, the boys did go to bed without a hint of complaint, and Ellie and Jacob helped Sarina clean up her kitchen, much to her protest. Once that was done they thanked Sarina for her hospitality, and Jacob surprised the women a second time that night by saying they should all do it again soon.

On the drive home, Ellie noticed that Jacob was quiet and withdrawn. 

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

Jacob was quiet for a minute before answering. He knew he was bringing up a topic that could be hard for her, and he didn't want to cause her any unnecessary pain. 

Finally he said, "I was just thinking about those boys.  They need a dad."

Ellie didn't reply.

I knew I shouldn't have brought up the kids,
Jacob thought. 
She always turns it into us and our problems when the topic of kids comes up. 

"Did you find out what caused her divorce?" Jacob asked, trying to change the subject.

"No," is the only word spoken for the rest of the drive home.

The flute like song of the meadowlark floated through the chilled evening air as Ellie pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped the blanket around them. This was the fourth spring Ellie had been in Logan with Jacob and every time, it was the meadowlark that she heard first. She inspected the trees in the field stretching into the horizon beyond her back porch, looking for the telltale yellow breast of the songbird. There was still so much to do for the Burlesque show, which was quickly approaching, but Ellie needed a break. 

The crisp spring air was just what she needed to wake herself before returning to the planning. Sarina had given her several ideas last night, and she needed to put them into action. 

There is that little bugger,
Ellie thought to herself. The meadowlark was perched on the fence, behind the spruce in the corner of the yard. He was only visible when one of the branches was pushed momentarily out of the way in the breeze.

The phone rang, startling Ellie. She scrambled around in her lawn chair, searching for her cell.

"Where is the damn thing?" she said into the empty porch.

Just after the fourth ring, she managed to find the phone wedged between the bottom and back cushions.

"Hello?" the words spilled out of her mouth.

"Helena Willow!" At the sound of her name spoken in this way, Ellie eyes widened. There were only three people in the world that called her by her full name, Helena. Her dad disowned her when she married Jacob, so it wasn't him. Jacob referred to her as Helena Sanderson, not her maiden name, Helena Willow. That left her uncle Emery. This voice did not belong to him.

"Yes?" she replied.

Ellie sank into a chair as she listened to the voice on the other end of the line. After a few minutes, she managed to get her voice to say, "Okay," then she hung up the phone. 

She pulled the blanket back over herself and sought out the meadowlark.

It was gone.

Sometime later, perhaps hours, she registered the faint sound of Jacob getting home. It had not even occurred to her to prepare his dinner. This was the first night in their four year marriage she had not had herself groomed, her house clean, and dinner on the table for him. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Jacob coming in. She was glad he was home.

"Ellie?" She could hear the surprise and concern in his voice. He must have noticed the still kitchen and lack of dinner aroma.   

She looked toward him, but couldn't bring herself to speak.

He walked out to the porch, gave her a warm kiss on the forehead, and settled in next to her. 

"I got a call today," she said without removing her gaze from the tree. 

He sat with her in silence for a few moments before placing his hand on her knee and urging her to continue.

She filled him in on what she remembered from the call. 

"Uncle Emery has passed away. Apparently it was a heart attack." 

Jacob wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in close. 

"But, that's not all,” she added. "The attorney says I need to go to Phoenix. That is where they will be reading the will, and apparently I must be there to take care of some other paperwork."

Jacob just listened.

"I'm sorry you lost your uncle, babe. How long since you saw him?"

Ellie looked away from the tree and sank into the warmth of her husband's chest. 

"I don't know. A while. Why don't you come too? I could use your help down there. He expects me next week."

He sighed, "Must you go?"

"I am his only remaining family. He was a father figure to me," Ellie held back tears as she spoke. 

Jacob's tone suddenly changed. 

"You don't need to do anything. That is ridiculous! Just call them back and tell them that travel is impossible right now." 

He stood and paced along the porch. He could never sit still when he was upset about something.

"Besides," he added as an afterthought, "you have the Burlesque show coming up."

Now he cares about my involvement in the show?
thought Ellie.

She looked back toward the tree. The leaves danced in the breeze, but the meadowlark still had not returned. She could feel her throat swell. She swallowed hard, and looked back at Jacob. He continued to pace along the edge of the deck. 

"Jacob, this is my uncle. I don't understand why you are so upset?" Jacob stopped pacing, turned to her and put his hands on his hips.

"Go if you must, but I'm not going and I'm not paying for it." He stalked into the house and returned a few minutes later. "I'm going to the office, and I guess I'll grab dinner while I'm gone. Don't wait up for me." He left the porch again, this time letting the door slam behind him. 

Ellie sat there for what felt like hours, stunned. 

I knew he was upset about not having a baby, but this is crazy. Why is he snapping at me about this? He has never behaved this way before. Is it because I didn't make him dinner? That can't be.

Ellie defaulted to her go to stress reliever, a bottle of wine and a hot bubble bath. Though she was upset about Jacob leaving so abruptly, she welcomed the solitude. 

The long soak in the tub didn't do anything to help her clear her head. Jacob was clearly struggling with something and wanted her to stay home. She should probably just call that attorney back and tell him she can't make it. Yet, every time she thought about picking up the phone, she felt a pang of resentment and sadness. 

My uncle is gone. Why shouldn't I be there?
she wondered. 

Finally, she did pick up, but it wasn't the attorney that she called.

"Hello?" said the voice on the other end after just two rings.

"Sarina" As soon as Ellie heard her voice, she was glad she had made the decision to call her new friend. 

"Ellie! I have been thinking about you. How is the Burlesque planning going?"

"Oh, well, that is a different story for a different day.  I'm calling about a different issue. Jacob and I, well..." Ellie took a deep breath. "I wondered if you would meet me for coffee tomorrow morning? It might help me work through a dilemma if I have someone to talk to."  

"Of course," replied Sarina. "How does 10:00 sound?"

"Perfect, Sarina. Thank you. I really appreciate it."

As they hung up, Ellie wondered how much longer Jacob would be. Hopefully he would feel like himself when he returned home.