A Winter's Date (52 page)

Whew, I was not expecting that reaction.

Dani makes a face when the rain gets harder on the windshield. “I must say, Coen is gorgeous, but is he any good in bed?”

“Yes!” they both say in unison, and Dani and I laugh.

Dani and I both look at each other in the rearview mirror. Our eyes meet knowingly before we smile brightly at each other.

NOAH

The rain is coming down hard and I’m glad I’m the one driving. Giving up control in a situation like this makes me tense. Coen is groaning in the backseat, holding his nuts. “Fuck, dude, are you hitting every pothole on purpose?” he complains and I laugh.

“I’m sure you’ve had your nuts ridden harder than today. Chill the fuck out; we’re fifteen minutes away.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

I turn the wipers on as fast as they can go to try and see better when we reach the two-lane bridge. The girls turn onto it first, and I follow behind. Shit, it’s really coming down.

I sit straighter and try to squint, seeing only their taillights in front of me. “Damn, I wish I had my glasses,” I comment to nobody in particular.

Coen laughs from the backseat. “You still wear those fucking things?”

“Damn right I do. They seem to get me ass every time I wear them too, so you can go fuck yourself, dipshit.”

“Shit, Lana just needs to see me, and she fucking strips.”

“Dude, I’ve heard you fucking before. I don’t need any further details.”

There have been a few cars passing by as we head back to the lodge, but the roads are mostly empty. I can see a large white SUV coming down the other side of the bridge. I look back at Coen in the rearview and chuckle when he gives me the finger.

I look back at the road and am instantly confused. I hear a distant pop and then someone’s horn up ahead. I slam on my brakes when I see the girls’ grey SUV swerve to the right. Their brake lights light up bright red. In that instant my heart stops. The white SUV that is headed their way almost collides with their SUV, and I hear two horns honk before both vehicles swerve in opposite directions. The rain is coming down too hard to see anything, but suddenly the white SUV stops, and I watch in horror as everything happens in slow motion.

“Oh fuck!” is all I hear from Coen before my ears start ringing. My heart slams against my rib cage and my adrenaline skyrockets. It all happens so fast, yet insanely slow as I watch it happen, frame by frame. The SUV that Dani is driving suddenly collides with the guardrail and the rail shatters like it’s made of matchsticks. My heart drops to my stomach, and I can’t make a sound as I watch their car plummet off the bridge and out of my sight into the water below.

I slam on the brakes and put the Range Rover into park. I can’t feel my body moving as I get the seatbelt off, and I swing the door wide open. I sprint ahead to where a few feet of the railing is missing from the side of the bridge. I don’t hesitate for a second as I see that corner of the bumper sink into the dark water. I dive into the water, journeying into the dark nothingness. The water gives way to my body as I swim down in search of the grey SUV. The water does not resist my movements as I finally see the car in a foggy haze. I have to go back up for air before I can swim any further, before I can get to my girl. I propel myself up with as much energy and force as I possibly can until I feel the harsh and heavy raindrops hit my face.

Brannon and Coen are standing at the edge of the bridge when I surface to draw in a lungful of air. Coen dives in, and I go back down to where I last saw the SUV before I know if Brannon jumped in or not. The frigid water is not solid but it feels like stone against my body. I finally reach the vehicle as Lana is pulling her body out through the window. I grab her and make sure she’s conscious, and able to make it up to the top on her own. She’s panicked, though: she looks petrified. I push her up toward the water’s surface and follow her through the bubbles to the surface to get another breath, as well as to make sure Brannon can get her to the banks of the river. When we emerge from the depths, she starts to panic as I hand her off to Brannon who starts swimming her to the water’s edge.

I take a long, deep breath and dive back into the dark waters. When I eventually make it down to the car, Coen is pulling Dillen out through the window and swims her up. She seems to be conscious, but I don’t let it distract me to get Heather and Dani out. That’s when I see her: the only thing holding Heather down is her seatbelt. I maneuver my body through the almost too-tight gap of the open window to Heather’s side. Her lips are sealed shut, and I want to give her my breath. I want to watch her inhale fresh oxygen that will stop her from suffocating in this heavy liquid stone. I press my lips to hers and push the breath of air I’m holding into her mouth. When she doesn’t respond I start working on her seatbelt, trying to get it unclipped, but it won’t fucking budge. She’s unconscious, and I’m fucking glad I can’t see her thrashing and gasping for air.

I look toward the front for Dani just as Brannon manages to get in through the window of the SUV and thank fuck because there’s no way in hell I could choose. Brannon gets into the front and gets Dani’s seatbelt off with ease, before getting her out of the window while I struggle to free Heather. It feels like hours go by when I finally get it open. I move the belt from around her limp body as Brannon pulls Dani out of the vehicle. I make sure that Heather’s not caught on anything before I attempt to move her. Once Brannon has Dani through the window I move backwards and get out of the window before I pull her out with me. The car creaks and protests as the weight of the water pushes it farther into the depth of the river. I push myself off of the roof of the car while holding onto Heather as I struggle to get to the surface, and bubbles escape from her nose.

As soon as I breach the surface, I inhale a burning breath. My chest feels like it’s on fire, and I cough as I swim to shallow water with Heather in my arms.

“Fucking call someone!” I cry out as loud as I can to the bystanders on the bank. There seems to be more people than just us, and they’re standing around one body with Brannon leaning over it. I can’t worry about that: the girl in my arms is unconscious.

“Help! Somebody fucking help,” I scream over the rain as I lay Heather’s cold, lifeless body onto the muddy, slanted riverbank. I start breathing against her lips—her blue-rimmed lips.

I can hear girls crying . . .
Dillen and Lana?

I start performing CPR on Heather, trying to remove the water from her lungs. As much as mine burn right now, I know hers are ablaze.

“Come on, baby. Breathe. Breathe!”

My arms burn as I put all my weight against her chest. I can feel her sternum crack under the pressure and I hear it break. I’m yelling for help as Coen joins me. He’s breathing life into her as I continue building pressure in her chest. My life is flashing before my eyes. My girl is dying right before me and all I can feel is numbness.

All I hear are screams.

Mine.

The girls’.

Coen’s.

Brannon’s.

The paramedics’.

It may have been minutes but it felt like hours. But they finally arrive and push me away.

I fall backwards onto my ass as I now struggle to breathe. They block my view of her. I’ve already lived through this before. This cannot be real. Coen pulls me to my feet, and I look back over to Brannon on his hands and knees while they work on Dani. Dillen and Lana have been pulled aside to be examined, but all I can think of is Heather. The lump in my throat is about to suffocate me. Coen steps over to Brannon to help him up and, fuck, the look of agony in his eyes must be the same as what he sees in mine. I turn my attention back to Heather and wait for a reaction out of her.

My vision blurs, and my body finally starts to shake. I think I’m going to lose my shit. I can’t believe what I’m seeing, what we’re going through. This isn’t happening to us. The wailing I hear from Dillen is unbearable, and I cover my ears in protest. I turn my back on the whole scene. I can’t watch them cover her. I can’t. I just fucking can’t. I can’t have that vision stuck in my head for the rest of my life. It can’t be the last thing I see of her. I feel my knees buckle, and a painful cry fills my ears as I clutch my chest.

My own cry.

How am I going to tell her when she wakes up? How am I going to look at her and tell her she’ll never see her sister again? How do I tell her that we all did all that we could to save her, to get her to breathe again? What words do I choose to tell her that the weight of the water was too much for her, and that her heart stopped, while hers will continue to beat wildly?

The only thing I can seem to hold onto is the thought that I could have done more; if I had done more to save her life, then we wouldn’t be in this brightly lit hospital room where I can smell the death wafting through the hallways. We should not have to say goodbye like this.

She has her hand over mine, trying to calm my numb and un-inflatable heart. It isn’t working, and it won’t. I’ve dealt with loss before, but this . . . this anguish is all consuming. My feet feel like cinderblocks, and I haven’t been able to move my arms because they weigh as much, if not more, than the inconceivable weight of the water which held her down. The indescribable agony she felt, that I felt. I lost count of how many breaths I took that she couldn’t. I don’t remember pulling her out or breathing the frigid air of what I could into her lips. My eyes close, and all I can see is her frigid blue lips on her soft face. Those lips that I’d kill for sealed shut with her last breath.

I’m brought back into the current moment when Lana releases my hand to take the cup of ice water from Coen. I don’t bother lifting my head when he hands me mine. I can still hear the faint beeping of the machine, telling me just how much I failed.

I’m certain I won’t be able to take her suffering. I won’t be able to help. This is beyond our control, and I feel like death. The room is quiet, and I look up at her lifeless body and over at Brannon. He’s just as inconsolable as I am. Dillen had to be sedated to numb her pain and devastation, and I wish nothing more than to join her.

I’d do anything to bring her back.

I had to be the one to identify her body.

The others couldn’t do it for me. I needed to be the one. I wasn’t strong enough to help her . . . to help them all, so I punished myself.

Our lives are broken.

Our family is no longer whole.

Our entire lives were ahead of us, and now I can’t see past the dark, all-consuming water that stole her away. How can I get past this tragedy?

One by one, they leave: first Lana and then Coen. It’s just Brannon and I. We look at each other, both knowing that our lives will never be the same, forever changed. A dark, malevolent cloud will hang over us until it is our time to go.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t save her.” My voice cracks, and I lose it.

We both do.

Both of us lose it for the women in our lives. The two sisters that meant so much to us, that meant so much to each other.

Nothing will ever be the same again. It will take all I have to call my parents, to tell them of this deplorable news. They will want to pay their respects to her; I know she was important to them, and they will want to be there for me as well . . . to be there for all of us . . . to be there when they bury her.

I look down toward my feet, hoping that when I look up again, none of this will be in front of me. That the machine that is breathing for her, keeping her alive, isn’t really there, but the sound is excruciatingly loud. I swallow the crippling guilt before I open my fist to reveal Heather’s engagement ring to my red, swollen eyes. The pear shape is pressed into my palm, a painful reminder of a fraction of the pain she must have felt hours ago. When I turn the ring over, it catches the fluorescent lighting, making it sparkle like it never has before.

I’m revolted that it can still shine while her light is out.