A Wolf's Obsession (11 page)

“Fuck,” Dylan cursed. Standing up she started to pace. “He’s going to need something.”

“I’m not going to sit here with you and negotiate what goes on between me and your brother. If he wants to talk about this then he knows exactly where to find me.”

Dylan sighed. “Wyatt isn’t thinking straight.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he wants to have a relationship with me. If he wants this thing between us, whatever it is, to work then we need to talk.” She got off the sofa and went back to the kitchen where her mixing bowl was calling to her. Her movements slow and methodical she placed her cookie mixture on to a baking tray.

“I know it sounds strange but if you’d just talk to me then I could tell him everything and then when he got back you wouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

Sighing as she rolled her eyes, Kass put the cookies in the oven and turned to look at Dylan. “You’re a good sister. He told me what you and Erica did when Emily died.”

Raising an eyebrow, Dylan muttered under her breath. “I doubt it.” If Wyatt had told Kass exactly what they’d done there was no doubt in her mind that Kass would have fled.

“But he’s a big boy now and he can’t have you fighting his battles for him. Tell him to come home and we can talk.”

“I don’t know if that’s going to be possible.”

“He managed to talk to you long enough to get you here, I’m sure you can do the same in reverse.”

Kass smiled and Dylan knew that the conversation was over. She’d been dismissed as politely as was possible given the circumstances and staying any longer would just make things worse. “I’ll try to call him but it might be difficult.”
Considering the fact he could barely speak when he called me and has probably gotten worse.
“I don’t know how long it’ll take for him to come back.”

“I have no where else to go.” She forced a smile to her lips and eyed the door pointedly.

Nodding, Dylan turned on her heel and left the cabin to find her brother. Kass’ request seemed so simple but it was anything but.

Breathing a sigh of relief as Dylan disappeared Kass resigned herself to wait for Wyatt’s return. She waited until her cookies were baked, their fragrant air tempting her to sample their sugary goodness. She waited as the air grew cold with the setting of the sun. She waited as the sun dipped past the horizon and disappeared. She waited as the sky darkened and the stars began to shine. But by the time the moon had risen high in the sky she was sick and tired of waiting for someone who clearly didn’t want to talk to her. As exhaustion forced her into bed her decision made itself.

I deserve better than this. Protection isn’t worth being treated like this. I’ll call Charlie in the morning and find a way to get out of here.
Her heart constricted painfully at the idea of leaving but she steeled herself against what she felt. It would be far worse to stay and be treated like this day after day. Her heart might hurt now but she was saving it from being broken.

Keep telling yourself that,
a voice at the back of her head murmured.

A tear rolled down her cheek and she clutched her pillow tightly.
I will,
she responded.
It’s the only way that I’m going to get out of here in one piece.

Ethan might be gunning for her heart but Wyatt was teaching her very quickly that there were other ways for the
vital organ to be destroyed.

*******

Exhausted couldn’t even begin to describe how Wyatt felt as he staggered into the safety of his home, closing the door quietly behind him. His eyes were heavy and he was only managing to stay upright through sheer force of will. His wolf had been savage in its demands that they claim their mate. Wyatt had tried everything he could think of to get the wolf calm enough for them to be able to come home and be with Kass and nothing had worked. First he’d tried to reason with the wolf explaining that even if Kass had been willing, if she’d stripped herself bare as he’d asked, the instinct wouldn’t have let him claim her. She wasn’t a wolf and the instinct demanded that she come to terms with his true nature before they could be that intimate. Reason had backfired horrifically. The mental image of Kass naked and eager to be claimed had sent the wolf into a frenzy and he’d brought Wyatt to his knees as it howled for their mate. After reason had failed, Wyatt had carved a path of destruction through the woods. Wielding his claws with deadly precision he’d hunted down prey, decimated trees and waged his own private war against anything that had the misfortune of crossing his path. When that had failed he’d run for miles hoping that the pleasure that came from running would distract his wolf enough that it could be reasoned with. The plan had been an epic failure. The wolf had refused to think of anything that wasn’t Kass.

It was only when Dylan had called to tell him that his mate was hurting because of what he’d done that Wyatt and the wolf had come to a tentative truce. No matter what he was feeling, his mate would always come first. His wolf had calmed enough that Wyatt didn’t think he was an immediate threat to Kass but he could feel the wolf simmering at the back of his mind. If it was given the chance it would grab control and Wyatt shuddered to think of the damage it could cause if that happened. He wouldn’t be giving it that chance. He took a deep breath as he walked into the cabin and stumbled, the chair he grabbed the only reason he didn’t hit the ground. After hours away, the power of Kass’ scent was even more powerful than it normally was. His gut clenched with the need to be near her. Drawing in lungfuls of her sweet scent he felt himself begin to relax. His mate was here; she hadn’t run away which wouldn’t have been a surprise considering how he’d treated her. He’d half expected to come home to an empty cabin and spend the night looking for her. Forcing the muscles in his legs to tense and take the weight of his body, he let himself revel in the knowledge that very soon she’d be in his arms. The thought calmed his wolf enough that Wyatt trusted himself to go to her. She called to him like a moth to a flame and his feet moved unerringly towards her. A smile broke out on his face as he got closer to the bedroom but when the sweetness of her sugary scent became clouded with the bitterness of her tears his heart fell.

He stopped in the doorway unable to do more than stare at the track marks that ran down her cheeks and coated the pillow beneath her head. Shocked, he stumbled into the bedroom stopping inches from the bed. His hands itched to reach out for her and soothe her every ache but he couldn’t do that, not when he was the cause. Disbelief made him numb. He’d done this. His mate had cried herself to sleep because of him, because of what he’d done. He’d failed again. It was his job to protect her, to see to her happiness. He’d done neither.

I don’t deserve her,
he thought sadly.

She’s our mate, of course we deserve her.

Self loathing quickly gave way to anger as his emotions found a target to attack.
Don’t you dare!
Wyatt roared. Enough was enough. If his wolf wouldn’t respond to reason then he’d beat it into submission. It couldn’t be allowed to do anymore damage or it might be irreversible.
This is your fault. You did this.

I didn’t hurt her. You did that. Those are your fingers around her neck. You put those bruises on her arms.

But I didn’t do this. You made her cry and that’s worse. The bruises will fade but she’ll never forget tonight.

I didn’t hurt her,
the wolf denied, flashing its fangs in anger.

You made me leave her. She probably thinks I abandoned her because she wouldn’t have sex with me. You made her feel worthless, you made her think the only thing we wanted was sex.

That’s not true.

No?
Wyatt sneered.
We asked her to let us claim her. She says no. We lose control and run away. What else is she meant to think?

Losing ground the wolf snapped in retort,
You’re the one who made us leave.

And what other choice did I have? If I’d stayed you might have tried to force the matter. You could have tried to rape our mate. I couldn’t let that happen no matter the cost.

Silence followed, the wolf unable to think of anything that could make the situation better. Much as he was loathe to admit it, Wyatt was right.

Rubbing his brow, Wyatt sighed heavily.
If you want this to work, if you want to go back to how we were before we lost Emily, then you have to leave me in control. Trust me to take care of things. I want to claim her as much as you do but I want her to love us like a real mate should.

Just wanted to keep her safe,
the wolf grumbled.

And I’ll protect her. It’s what I trained for. Just leave Kass to me until the claiming.

Promise me we’ll claim her soon.

No. Even if it takes months I’m going to wait until Kass wants me to claim her. She has to come to me willingly otherwise what’s the point? She won’t stay; she’ll leave as soon as she can. We have time; we can afford to take this slowly. After what we’ve both done she deserves this much.

But…

But we can encourage her to want more and we will but if she says no then don’t try to force the matter. Agreed?

The silence that followed seemed to last an eternity but Wyatt waited, refusing to conceded any ground in this battle of wills. The stakes were too high for him to lose.

Fine,
the wolf grumbled.
We’ll do this your way…for now.

And that was all Wyatt needed. The bond between mates was unbreakable, an irresistible pull that would draw them together in spite of what he’d done and now that he didn’t have to worry about what his wolf would try to do Wyatt was going to do everything in his power to get his mate to fall for him. He’d failed with Emily but he’d been given another chance with Kass. It was more than any wolf could hope for and he was going to take full advantage of his unexpected second chance.

Chapter Eight

It was never nice being stared at. It was even worse when the feeling of eyes watching you was the reason you woke up and worse still if the eyes watching you were those of a predator. Despite the fact that Wyatt looked more relaxed than she’d ever seen him, Kass couldn’t shake the feeling at she was being hunted. Her eyes locked with his and her treacherous body began to warm, her arms itching with the urge to wrap around him. If she didn’t know better, she’d think he’d cast a spell on her. There was no logical reason that she should feel anything for him, he’d made his priorities quite clear last night. Logic didn’t stop her fingers itching to brush a lock of hair from his brow before sinking her hands into the silky strands.

Thankfully she was more than capable of putting a stop to her body’s irrational desires and she forced her eyes to narrow into a withering glare. “What do you want?” she spat, tossing the sheet aside and getting out of bed. She wasn’t going to give him any advantages and lying down in bed put her at a definite disadvantage.

“We need to talk.”

The sound of his voice shot straight to her knees and she had to lock her legs hard to stop them from giving out beneath her. A deep breath later and she had her body back under control. “No, we don’t. I tried talking to you yesterday and you made your feelings quite clear.

Getting out of the chair he’d watched her for hours in, Wyatt moved close. He’d thought she might be upset with him but he wasn’t prepared for her anger. Tears he could deal with, an apology went a long way when you were the cause of the problem, but anger… he didn’t have a clue what to do or what to say. “Kass, last night was a mistake–”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she interrupted, her temper rising.

“Damn it Kass, I’m your mate.”

She reacted almost instantly to his words, spinning around and slapping him hard across his face. She regretted it immediately. Her palm burned and her fingers felt like they were going to fall off after hitting the hardness of his cheek. Her fingers curled instinctively in response, trying to shelter her body from any more pain.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Wyatt hissed. Grabbing her arm, he eased her closed palm open. Running his fingers over her flesh he breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t find anything broken. “Don’t hit me with an open hand, you’ll hurt yourself.” Sighing, he closed his eyes and moved in until there was barely any space between them. “Use your elbows or your knees or better yet just tell me what you want done and I’ll get another wolf to do it for you.”

“Are you seriously telling me how to hurt you?”

Lifting her hand to his lips, he kissed her reddened skin gently. “I’d rather let someone take my arm than let this happen again. You’re not a wolf, you couldn’t hurt me even if you wanted to, you’ll just end up hurting yourself and I can’t let that happen.”

“Why?” she sneered, “because it would get in the way of trying to have sex with me?” She pulled her hand back, struggling to keep from shaking. The simple kiss had touched her inside, warming her from the inside out. The temptation to run her hands over his chest was almost overwhelming, her treacherous body desperate to be close to him despite what he’d done. “I’m not going to sleep with you until you’re ready. If it takes months then so be it.”

“You’ve been talking to your sister,” Kass spat in accusation.

Shaking his head, Wyatt locked gazes with Kass. She needed to know that he was being completely honest. “I haven’t spoken to Dylan since yesterday. I spent the whole night there, watching you and trying to think of what to say to you when you woke up.”

“Save it. I don’t want to hear your excuses. Sorry isn’t good enough.”

“I know that Kass. I hurt you badly. I saw your tears. They hurt me more than you’ll ever know. What can I do to make it up to you? I’ll do anything.”

His words made her see red and pure anger spilled from her lips. “I want you to suffer. I want you to feel the same pain that I felt when I cried myself to sleep because of you.”

“I can’t give you that,” he said sadly. The only way he could possibly feel what she’d felt was if Kass died in front of him and that was definitely never going to happen. Watching her turn away from him Wyatt knew that he had to give her something. He was losing her, his future slipping away right before his eyes. There had to be something he could give her that would make her understand how sorry he was. He looked down at his hands and had his answer. He could never suffer what she had, but he could try. Nails elongating into claws, he placed his hand over his chest. He’d make her understand that she was his world, that she held his heart in the palm of her hand, even if he had to tear it out and give it to her. “Kass,” he growled, waiting until she turned to look at him. “I really am sorry for what happened and if I have to prove to you just how sorry I am then so be it.”

Shock made Kass’ body freeze as she watched Wyatt force his razor sharp claws into his flesh. He sliced across his perfect chest until rivers of blood covered his body and then he did it again. Disbelief meant that she did nothing the first two times he cut stoically into his chest but when he raised his arm a third time, the scream of terror she’d been trying to summon finally broke free.

“Wyatt!”

“I can’t feel what you felt but I can do this. Let this be enough. Don’t leave me.” His hand raked across his chest again, his eyes never leaving hers as he tried to convince her of the truth in his words.

“Wyatt stop. Oh God, you’re going to bleed to death.” Grabbing the sheet from the bed, she pressed hard against his chest. As the blood stained the sheet and began to coat her hands, Kass paled. There was no way he was going to survive this.
Why would he do this to himself?

Because if I hurt you then I deserve to suffer. This is the least I can do after making you cry.

She shook her head. “Don’t make me responsible for this. Don’t blame me for your death. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” On the verge of tears, Kass’ voice quivered. When she’d been wishing a multitude of horrible things to happen to him as she’d fallen asleep, Kass had never once imagined that they would come true.

“I’m not going to die and this isn’t your fault. This is my fault. All of this happened because of me and the things that I did. If I could go back in time and make it so that you didn’t cry because of me then I would but I can’t and this is all I can do.”

When Kass felt his hand move again, reading to make another strike against his chest, she pushed hard trying to put a stop to his movements. “Stop,” she sobbed.

“No,” he growled, forcing his claws to lengthen and press further into the bloody wound. His knees wobbled, threatening to give out under him as his strength faded but he gritted his teeth against the pain. He wouldn’t let his mate see him weak, he’d prove to her that he was strong enough to endure what she had, that she had to forgive him. Nothing mattered other than getting her to see that he was being honest, that she was his everything. “Not until you forgive me.”

“I forgive you,” she shrieked. “I forgive you, just stop this.”

“You’re just telling me what I want to hear. I can smell it. This is my punishment and I’m happy to take it if that’s what it takes to have a future with you.”

“You really think that killing yourself is going to mean that we’ll be together? You’re not going to make it past today if I don’t call a doctor.” She risked another glance at his bloody wound, daring to pull the sheet back and see the damage without anything standing in the way of seeing the gruesome truth. Her stomach turned as soon as she saw the red, raw flesh. She’d literally seen his heart beating inside his chest, the fleshy organ struggling to pump blood around his body while Wyatt’s claws were a hair’s breadth from slicing it wide open. She hastily pushed the sheet back into place, the gruesome sight had her heart racing and all they needed was for her to pass out leaving him vulnerable and exposed.

“I’m a werewolf, I’m not going to die from this.” He sighed heavily. “If this is what I need to do for you to forgive me then I’ll do it happily.”

“Wyatt, stop this right now,” Kass screamed, her cheeks flushed in agitation. “If you think hurting yourself is going to make me forgive you then you have completely lost your mind!”

“Is that really what you want?”

“I sure as hell don’t want your blood on my hands so just stop what you’re doing, we’ll call a doctor and then we can talk about this like normal people.”

“I’m not a normal person Kass and neither are you. I’m a wolf and you’re a phoenix but most importantly we’re mates. Humans can separate; they can decide that they don’t want to be together. We don’t have that choice.”

“Mates?” she scoffed, her sympathy dwindling as the she remembered her previous anger. “Why bother to sugar coat it? Mates are nothing more than fuck buddies, you made that perfectly clear yesterday and you know what? I’m fine with that but please don’t try to lie by saying that we’re soul mates, that we’re destined to fall in love with each other. It just isn’t true.”

His blood pumping faster with her every word, Wyatt felt his already weak grasp on humanity fade away as the wolf rose to the fore. Biting back the pain, he wiggled his fingers around his chest until his heart was firmly in his grip. “If that’s all mates are then why would I give you this?” He pulled hard and ripped his heart from his chest. The instinct rose hard and fast, stopping him from losing too much blood and springing into action to repair the damage he’d wrought. Slapping the wet organ into her open palm was all Wyatt could manage before he slumped weakly against the bed. “I love you Kass and if this is what I have to do to prove it then I’ll do it again and again until you see reason.”

Kass was white as a sheet. She’d never been so grateful to be suffering from shock; it was the only thing that was keeping her standing. Her stomach rolled and as she moved her hands to clutch it she suddenly became aware of the warm organ Wyatt had so casually given her. Her beloved shock wore off instantly. Running from the room she dropped the heart and fled to the bathroom where she promptly relieved her stomach of its last meal.

Hugging her knees to her chest Kass sat on the cold floor for long moments, trying hard to understand what had just happened. Wyatt had killed himself to prove a point and he’d definitely made it. You didn’t kill yourself because of sex or the lack thereof. The crazy fool had really thought he was in love with her and had gone to desperate lengths to prove it. Tears made her vision blurry but Kass did nothing to wipe them away. She’d thought she knew what heartbreak was, she’d thought nothing could be more painful than the tears she’d shed last night. She’d been wrong. This was much worse.

Tears rolled down her cheeks in a seemingly endless stream, her mind refused to make her body move from what she knew must be an uncomfortable position but she felt nothing. Her body was completely numb and the future had never seemed bleaker. If the world had ended right then she couldn’t have brought herself to care. It wasn’t right that she felt so strongly about anyone, no one could survive such grief, but she hadn’t known Wyatt long enough to care so deeply and yet she did. She felt his passing in the deepest part of herself. Without him in the world it felt like nothing could be right again. What was the point in trying to go on if he wasn’t going to be there beside her?

Kass?

She sobbed harder at the sound of his voice in her head. If this was how he’d felt when he’d lost Emily it was no wonder he’d gone crazy. If she had to go through years imagining the sound of his voice then she’d slowly go insane. It wasn’t fair. They hadn’t had enough time. Sure Wyatt was a crazy werewolf with anger management issues but she could have looked past that to the good man she knew was buried deep. “We could have made it work,” she wept, rocking back and forth slightly as she tried to burn off the sorrow that had flooded her body.
We could have made it work.

Wyatt growled, the sound bouncing around in Kass’ skull.
We will make it work! Admit it Kass, I just gave you my heart to show you that I love you and that we can build a life together. What more do I have to do?

She slapped her hands over her ears trying to block him out.
You’re not real. You’re dead.
She sobbed.
I saw you die right in front of me.

I’m not dead Kass.

You tore your heart out of course you’re dead.
She chuckled sadly.
You’re dead and I’m crazy. We are not having this conversation. You are dead and sane people don’t talk to the dead.

Kass, I’m not dead.

Silence followed as Kass tried hard to ignore the voice in her head. It wasn’t natural to try and hold on to the dead and this was why. As soon as it didn’t hurt to breathe, she’d leave this place and try hard to put it all behind her.

Kass, you’re not leaving me. I won’t let you go.

Wyatt is dead. You’re just a voice in my head. I can do whatever I want.
And right now all she wanted to do was cry. It hurt to even say his name let alone say what had happened to him. Letting her grief overwhelm her, Kass gripped her knees tighter and cried harder. Soon she’d have to get up, she’d have to move but she had no strength in her body to do anything but stay where she was and mourn a man she hadn’t known she’d wanted but was quickly coming to see she needed.

Clutching his still healing chest, Wyatt growled in frustration. Were all women so much trouble or was it just the women in his life that were intent on causing him grief? His mate was crying because she thought he was dead and even when he’d told her otherwise she hadn’t believed him. That left him with only one option, the one that had put him in this position to start with. He was going to have to show her. If the tears she was shedding were anything to go by, showing her worked wonders but it was damn painful. Her sobs filled his ears and he gritted his teeth against the inevitable pain he was about to inflict upon himself. Glancing down at his open chest he took a deep breath, nothing was more painful than knowing his mate was crying because of him.