A World Between (41 page)

Susan Willaway’s voiceover: “If that be treason to our sex,
I
say let
us
make the most of it!”

“Bucko Power on the march!”

A full shot of orderly ranks of men marching across the screen .from left to right Hard cut to similar phalanxes marching in the opposite direction, then back to the first shot. Back and forth, left, right left the rhythm of the cutting moving to the martial beat of the stamping feet.

Male voiceover: “Fresh from their victory over the repressive Femocratic forces in Thule, the buckos of Pacifica are now uniting to preserve Pacifican democracy from the impending Femocratic coup...”

Cut to an establishing shot of the interior of the Parliament chamber; Most of the Delegate seats are occupied by belligerent-looking women. The few male Delegates are effete types wearing lacy blue tunics. Armed female guards surround the floor of the chamber and stand among the Delegates. A squat muscular, short-haired woman in a military uniform occupies the Chairman’s seat and addresses Parliament.

Chairman: “Resolved that the media access laws, the right of assembly, the male franchise, and further elections be suspended until further notice in order to preserve the internal security of Femocratic Pacifica. In favor?**

A loud chorus of “Ayes.”

“Opposed?”

A pregnant silence broken only by a series of ominous clicks as the female guards cock their guns.

Chairman: “I declare the resolution passed—
unanim
-
ously”

Cut to a medium shot of a graying, wise-looking Transcendental Scientist sitting by a very impressive-looking computer.

Transcendental Scientist: “Their record on other planets makes the strategy of the Femocrats in this election quite transparent. Since men are roughly half of any planetary population, Femocracy participates in democratic processes only to destroy them. Once they achieve even a temporary controlling majority in any government, they always act swiftly and ruthlessly to establish a permanent Femocratic dictatorship.”

Cut to a two-shot of two men having a heavy political discussion at a Gotham sidewalk cafe.

First man: “Well, Carlotta Madigan doesn’t want that! The effing Femocrats themselves are calling her a traitor!” Second man: “Aw, that’s the oldest trick in the book! They attack poor old Carlotta so enough saps like you will vote for fence-sitting nerds to split the bucko vote and elect a Femocrat Parliament. After all, what allows the effing Femocrats to stay here and subvert this election in the first place?”

First man (comprehension drawing on his face):
“The Madigan PlanJ”

Second man: “And you really think any
woman
is going to have the balls to kick the Femocrats off Pacifica?”

First man: “I guess what we need is a real
man
as Chairman for a change... Say, who
was
the last bucko Chairman?”

Cut to a closeup on Mike Lumly. The camera pulls back to reveal the large male crowd he is addressing in front of the main entrance to Parliament.

Lumly: “Who
really
ended the Femocrat strike that was destroying our economy?
(He jerks a thumb at the Parliament building.)
Those ball-less wonders?”

Crowd: “NO!”

Lumly (sardonically): “Our
lady
Chairman?”

Crowd: “NO!”

Lumly:
"Who
saved Pacifica?”

Crowd: “WE DID!”

Lumly: “And how did we do it?”

Crowd: “BUCKO POWER! BUCKO POWER!”

Lumly: “And what’s the only answer to Femocrat subversion of this election?”

Crowd: “BUCKO POWER! BUCKO POWER!

BUCKO POWER!”

Lumly: “And what’s a man who votes for anyone but a Bucko Power candidate?”

Crowd: “A BALL-LESS BREEDER!”

Cut back to a reprise of the opening shots: phalanxes of men marching back and forth across the screen, left, right, left, the rhythm of the cutting and the marching feet creating a druinfire of righteous power and determination. Male voiceover: “Bucko Power on the march! For free' dom, for democracy, for Pacifica—and for a new Parliament with the
balls
to preserve them!”

A full shot on two feathery roly-poly bumblers—one wearing a silly pink ballet skirt, the other stuffed into a black leather uniform—as they whonk and babble at each other, bumping bellies belligerently. Cut to a similar shot on two humans in male and female clown suits, one wearing a mask that caricatures Roger Falkenstein, the other wearing a grotesque Cynda Elizabeth mask, as they squirt each other in the face with traditional seltzer bottles.

Cut to a long shot on a mixed crowd of men and women on a stylized mock-up of a Gotham street. The women wear enormous false pink breasts, the men wear giant red rubber wongs, and all of them are in clown makeup. A man creams a woman in the face with a gooey cream pie. The woman retaliates in kind. In a few moments, dozens of pies are flying through the air, then hundreds. Soon everyone is coated with white pie-fiUing as the great battle continues to escalate. Barrages of pies fall from the buildings. Finally, there is an ominous whistling sound like a missile falling, and an
imm
ense
ten-meter cream pie falls from the sky onto the fray with a godlike splat.

Caption: ‘THE PINK AND BLUE WAR!”

Cut to a two-shot of Carlotta Madigan and Royce Lindblad as they walk together on the beach at Lorien lagoon. Royce: “Boys will be boys!”

Carlotta: “And girls will be girls!”

They begin raving at each other in mock anger.

Royce: “And so’s your mother!”

Carlotta: “And you’re another!”

Rugo waddles into the frame from the left, stands between them, glances back and forth at the two of them in rather patronizing indignation, and delivers a sermon.

Rugo: “Whonk-ka whonk ka-whonkity? Whonk
whonk ka-whonkity
whonk? Whonk, whonk, whonka!”

Royce and Carlotta look appropriately chastened and embarrassed.

Royce (foolishly): “Well, you see, jocko, it’s like this, we humans are having a very serious election campaign. The men are afraid that the women are going to bite their wongs off...

Carlotta:...nd the women are afraid that the men are going to confine them to purdah...”

Rugo bounces up and down cackling.

Royce (indignantly): “It’s
not
a joke; it’s
serious!
Just ask Pacificans for the Institute or the Femocratic League of Pacifica, and they’ll set you straight.”

Rugo, disbelieving, continues to bounce and cackle. _ After a moment, he pauses, looks up at Carlotta, then at Royce, both of whom have put on expressions of mock anger. He shakes his head slowly, sadly. He makes cooing throaty noises. He grabs Royce’s hand in his big flexible bill and places it in Carlotta’s. He rubs his body against both of them, turns to face the camera, and whonks contentedly.

The camera moves in for a closeup of Royce and Carlotta, smiling together now. The frame freezes, then solarizes into an abstract ikon of loverly bliss. This slowly dissolves into a lyrical series of shots of lovers that melt into each other to dreamy romantic music. Two faces coming together in a kiss, silhouetted by a rich seascape sunset. A naked couple walking hand-in-hand through a forest in balletlike slow motion. A couple making love in a feather-soft white snowbank under a jeweled night sky.

Soft female voiceover: “Pacifica is for lovers...

Mellow male voiceover: “And lovers are for Pacif-• . »» ica...

A closeup on Rugo, looking dreamy and contented now. The camera pulls back for a longer shot, showing Royce, Carlotta, and Rugo ambling slowly together down Lorien beach. The camera moves in again for a two-shot on Royce and Carlotta.

Royce (sardonically): “But
men
will be
men
...”

Carlotta: “....nd
women
will be
women ”

Cut to a closeup on Rugo.

Rugo (in a rather cute quacking voice): “But
humans
will be humans if they stop whonking at each other like bumblers.”

Cut to a full shot on a Bucko Power candidate haranguing a small streetcomer crowd of men. His mouth, his arms, the fist-shaking gesticulations of the crowd—all are in jerky fast-motion. Moving in graceful contrasting slow motion, Royce and Carlotta move into the frame and bracket the speaker.

Speaker (in filtered mechanical voice): “Down with Femocracy! Power to the penis! We demand what we deserve.”

Royce and Carlotta glance at each other meaningfully, shrug.

Royce: “He
asked
for it. ..”

Magically, they both produce cream pies and slam them in the speaker’s face from both sides.

Royce and Carlotta: “Pacifica for the Pacificans!”

Cut to a similar shot of a wild-eyed woman hectoring a female crowd. Royce and Carlotta move into the frame, flank the speaker, and look questioningly at the crowd.

Speaker: “Sisters! Speak out for your rights! Tell these faschochauvinist dupes what you want! Let me hear it! Let me have it!”

Carlotta grins at the crowd and raises her hand like an orchestra conductor.

Crowd:
“Pacifica for the PacificansV
'

Pies fly from both sides, creaming the speaker’s face with white goo.

Cuf to a two-shot on Royce and Carlotta walking on Lorien beach.

Carlotta: “Of course, this election is serious business.” Royce (fatuously): “In fact, I’ve never seen so many
serious
people shooting their damn fool mouths off in my life. If you believe what you hear, Carlotta’s sold out the women of Pacifica to Transcendental Science and sold out the men to Femocracy, both at the same time. How’d you manage
that
trick, babes?”

Carlotta (waving her hands like a magician): “The hand is quicker than the eye!”

Royce: “And if you believe that, you must believe in the tooth fairy, too.”

Carlotta: “Personally, I make a practice of believing in two impossible things before breakfast. Today it was Transcendental Science and Femocracy.”

Royce: “Well,
we've
had
our
fun, fellow Pacificans...

A huge hand shoves a big cream pie into the foreground of the shot as if handing it to the viewer.

Carlotta: “But come election day, it’ll be
your
turn to throw the pie!”

Royce Lindblad giggled, turned away from his net console, and gave Carlotta a big grin. “They don’t know what’s hitting them!” he said. “Falkenstein’s bellowing like a wounded godzilla, and the Femocrats won’t even talk to newshounds. Their campaigns are disasters, and they can’t even figure out why.”

Carlotta shook her head, paced around his office, glanced at the depth poll figures on the access screen, and sat down on the arm of Royce’s lounger. “To tell you the truth, I’m not sure why either,” she said. “I thought this media blitz you layed out was crazy, but...”

“But it’s working, isn’t it?” Royce said somewhat smugly.

The depth poll figures might not be ideal, but the shape of the new Parliament was already clear. Planetwide, the projected vote now broke down as 23 percent Femocrat, 30 percent Bucko Power, 3I percent for the vague Pacifica for the Pacificans movement, and 12 percent undecided with two days of campaigning left Neither Transcendental Science nor the Femocrats had a prayer of forming a new government, and a paralyzed Parliament would mean maintaining the status quo by default—a Madigan Chairmanship and a continuation of the Madigan Plan. And a considerable portion of the population, male and female, was at least temporarily coming to see the whole Pacifican Pink and Blue War as some kind of hideous joke.

“If there’s one thing you can count on fanatics to do when it’s escalation time, it’s lose their sense of humor,” Royce said “They’re screaming foul slok at us and each other and they just can't comprehend why we’re just coun-terpunching with cream pies. And still less why it’s working as well as it has.”

Carlotta took another, longer look at the depth poll figures. “But I think we’ve milked the fun-and-games approach as far as we can,” she said. “Seems to me, anyone who’s
still
committed to Femocracy or Bucko power after all
this
is going to vote that way no matter what anyone does in the next two days. I’d expect the undecided to break roughly in thirds, so that’s not going to affect the outcome either...”

“Yeah,” Royce said.

“Which means no one will have the votes to oust me from the Chairmanship or repeal the Madigan Plan or dare to force a vote of confidence on
anything
for the duration of the trial period.”

Royce nodded. “You could call it constructive paralysis,” he said.

“But when the trial period is up, we’ve got to be in a position to get through a resolution expelling the Femocrats and Transcendental Scientists, or at least win an electronic vote of confidence and elect a new Parliament that will pass it if this one votes it down. So...”

“So?”

Carlotta got up and began pacing the office again.
“So
since the outcome of this election is already decided, we should start playing the endgame
now
. Get heavier and nastier so that the result of this election isn’t just a cream pie, but a ringing endorsement of Pacifica for the Pacificans. Of me. Of us. Of the Madigan Plan. Of Pacifican nationalism.” She grinned crookedly at Royce. “It’s time to change the media blitz and make us heroes, babes.”

Royce laughed. “I suppose I can hold my nose and do it,” he said. “Carlotta Madigan and Royce Lindblad, saviors of the Pacifican way of life, champions of Pacifica for the Pacificans, the golden couple, and so forth...e grimaced wryly. “As long as we don’t start believing it ourselves.”

Carlotta laughed. She looked down at him with what seemed like a perfectly straight face. “Why not?” she said archly. “Isn’t it the truth?”

A medium shot on Royce Lindblad and Rugo. Royce is apparently involved in a serious conversation with the fat little bumbler, but he’s whonking and squawking like a bumbler himself. Hard cut to a tighter shot on Carlotta Madigan as she filings a pie into the face of a male speaker. Cut to a full shot on two figures made up as clowns, their faces ludicrous caricatures of Royce and Carlotta, as they grope each other obscenely, squirt the camera with seltzer bottles, and finally heave a barrage of pies at a large hologram of Pacifica in the background.