A Year to Remember (22 page)

“Why don’t you take a shower and brush your teeth?”

“Do you want to join me in the shower?”

“No, I already took one, but I’ll be waiting for you to come out.”

Even though I couldn’t get the shower hot enough, I took my time, not eager to return to the bedroom. I shampooed my hair twice and conditioned it, then scrubbed my body from head to toe.

Then, deciding it might be my only alone time for the day, I lay down in the shower and gave myself an orgasm. Now I was ready for Caleb.

Apparently I had taken too much time in the bathroom, because when I came out, Caleb sat in a chair in the corner reading the newspaper completely dressed.

“I just talked to my parents. They said everyone will be over at eleven. We should get to their house around ten to get ready.”

“Get ready?”

“You know, so you and my mom can decorate and get all the food ready for my dad to grill.” He stated it so matter-of-factly, I wondered if I had forgotten he hadn’t told me I had responsibilities at the barbecue. If my parents threw a barbecue for Caleb and me, we wouldn’t be expected to lift a finger unless we volunteered.

“What are you going to do while I’m slaving away in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant?” I asked sarcastically. “I’m going to help my Dad set up the grill.”

Yeah, because that takes two people.

I concluded I wouldn’t mind helping his mother and didn’t say anything to Caleb.

As it turned out, his mother spent most of the time showing off her photo albums, specifically pointing out pictures of Caleb as a baby.

“He was such a wonderful baby. He never cried, and he slept through the night starting at two weeks old. Of course, back in those days we put cereal in the bottle, which I’m sure you know is the secret to getting a baby to sleep for long periods of time.” Actually, I knew practically nothing about babies. I’d have to take her word for it.

Caleb had been an adorable baby with big round blue eyes and rolls of pudgy baby fat. It was difficult to equate that baby as the lean man Caleb was today.

Until I turned five, my mom had to force me to eat. I had such a small appetite my mom swears my brother and I used to share one hot dog and I still didn’t finish mine. I don’t know what changed, but after I started kindergarten, I began to gain weight, my tummy sticking out in every one of my pictures. Soon, I began to eat two hot dogs for dinner and I never felt full. I thought about food constantly throughout the day, always asking when we would eat. Sweets and bread were my favorite and I’d often hide food in my room.

My mom put me on my first diet at eight years old. I remember losing twelve pounds even though I ate such things as a Taco Bell taco salad. Too bad I don’t have that kind of metabolism now.

Hopefully, if Caleb and I have children, they’ll take after him. Chubby babies that turn into athletic, lean adults.

“What did I miss?” asked the female version of Caleb.

Caleb’s sister who appeared to be about twelve months pregnant waddled into the kitchen wearing a child on her back in something that looked like a backpack with holes for feet. Hmm, I didn’t know kids were in fashion.

“Gamma!” the little boy wailed, holding his arms out to Carol.

“Larry!” Who names their kid Larry these days?

“Thanks, Mom,” Caleb’s sister Crystal said, obviously relieved of having to carry an additional twenty pounds on her already overtaxed pregnant body.

Crystal took off the contraption and groaned in satisfaction.

“Hi, you must be Sara. I’m Crystal, Caleb’s sister. It’s so nice to meet you!” She threw her arms out and tried to hug me, but the basketball under her shirt kept her from being able to completely fulfill the embrace.

I laughed in sympathy and hugged the side of her, patting her back at the same time. “It’s really nice to meet you, too! Why don’t you have a seat? Can I get you something to drink?”

I pulled out a chair for her so she could get off her feet. I couldn’t imagine being responsible for three lives with a fourth one growing inside of me. She deserved a seat in my opinion.

Crystal turned to her mother. “I like her. At least someone treats me right!”

While Carol greeted and played with her grandchildren, Crystal and I got to know each other. If she lived in Michigan, she’d be a candidate for my new best friend. Although we led completely different lives, we had no trouble finding things to talk about, maybe because she reminded me of Caleb.

Her children ran through the house shouting at the top of their lungs while she tuned them out and talked up her brother to me. Meanwhile, Caleb periodically ducked into the kitchen to give me a quick kiss, and then continued chasing the kids, threatening them with tickles and belly blasters, which Crystal explained as raspberries on the tummy. It was hectic and crazy and I loved every minute of it!

I met Nancy and Chris, Caleb’s aunt and uncle, who seemed more conservative than the rest of the family. They didn’t like the noise of the kids and spent most of the time sitting on the family room couch drinking wine. Still, when we prepared to leave the barbecue at nine o’clock that night, I already felt like part of Caleb’s family. We hugged his family goodbye and then his mother burst my little fantasy of perfection.

“We’ll see you both in the morning at church.”

I didn’t say anything, too shocked to respond. I waited until Caleb and I got into the rental car before asking him about his mother’s statement.

Caleb seemed uncomfortable. “Yeah, my parents never miss a week of church, and I didn’t have the heart to tell them we wouldn’t be attending it with them.”

“Do they know I’m Jewish?”

“Yes, they know you’re Jewish. They just don’t know I’m no longer a practicing Catholic.”

“Couldn’t you have used my religion as an excuse not to go?” I didn’t want to have this conversation yet but apparently fate had other plans for me.

“I want them to like you. If I tell them you won’t go to church with my family, they may question whether we should be together.”

“Yes, but it’s not their decision. Only you and I are in this relationship. The only opinions that matter are yours and mine.”

“And, Missy’s.”

“What?”

“You always call Missy for her opinion before you make a decision. I’m surprised she doesn’t dress you in the morning.” The anger in his voice surprised me.

“Well, you won’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“Why?” he asked, softening his voice.

“We had a fight, and she decided she didn’t want to be my friend anymore,” I informed him, trying to hold back the threatening tears.

He absorbed the information for a moment, no doubt attempting to process the huge bit of news.

“Maybe it’s for the best.”

“How could losing my closest friend in the world be for the best?”

“She and you, well… ... you’re different.” He didn’t give further explanation, but what he did say hinted at the underlying meaning. He didn’t approve of us being friends because she’s gay.

I wanted to defend our friendship, but perhaps Caleb was right. Maybe, we need to lead our own lives now, without the other’s influence.

I was not going to discuss Missy with Caleb.

“Caleb, let’s say we got married and had children, would you let our children be raised Jewish?” I needed to know now before it was too late.

“Yeah, they’d be Jewish, but I’d want to expose them to Christianity, too. That way, when they became adults, they could make their own decision about religion.”

Not what I wanted to hear. “Would you want them baptized or christened or whatever your family does?”

“I wouldn’t care, but my mom might give us a problem with it.”

“Well, you would have to stand up to her. Do you think you could do that?”

“I would do anything for you, Sara. I love you.”

Just when I was ready to write Caleb off, he won my heart all over again.

“I love you too, Caleb, but I’m not going to church tomorrow. I’d rather you told your family the truth, but if you prefer to lie, just tell her I had insomnia and needed to get some sleep.”

“I’m not ashamed of your religion, Sara. I’ll tell them in the morning while I let you sleep in,” he said with a grin on his face.

Caleb returned from church and informed me he told his family I couldn’t attend church because I was too tired. He assured me his family didn’t think twice about it. When we had lunch with his family before our flight back to Michigan, Carol acted a bit more reserved than she had the previous day. Caleb didn’t seem to notice.

When I stumbled into my condo late Sunday afternoon, I had never felt more relieved to be home. I might make fun of Michigan as much as the next person, but I loved it. Call me sentimental.

I threw in a load of laundry and ate a cold slice of leftover pizza for dinner before checking my email to see if Missy had caved and written me.

She hadn’t.

My brother had forwarded me an email, which was extremely out of character for him. He hated email, preferring more personal communications. He wrote a short message informing me he thought I might be interested in going to Israel, like he had done a few years earlier and sent me the web flyer.

June 29 to July 8, 2008

An amazing experience with hundreds of twenty to thirty somethings nationally!

From Masada to the Dead Sea to the Western Wall, you’ll go to Israel’s most breathtaking vistas, historic sites, and holiest places.

For more information, contact Jewish Federation

(248) 555-1471.

I had been envious of my brother when he chose to go to Israel during the summer between college and graduate school. I had already committed to an internship for the summer and I never gave it another thought. He hadn’t gone with Jewish Federation, but with a Rabbi from a local
Chabad
, a little too religious for my tastes.

My brother and his wife practiced Judaism in what I referred to as the Conservadox division of our religion, a cross between Conservative and Orthodox. My parents and I consider ourselves Reform Jews. We don’t attend synagogue more than a couple of days a year.

I had no excuse not to go to Israel this summer. My clients could do without me for a couple of weeks, and my mom could offer her services to be on call in case of any client emergency. I have the money for the first time in my life since I’ve paid off all my school debt.

The more I considered it, the more convinced I became that I needed to go. Maybe some time away from everything is just what the doctor ordered. Just because it’s known as a Jewish Singles Mission doesn’t mean I’ll be going to meet a husband. I’ll use the opportunity to explore my Jewish roots and, hopefully, come back a more centered and clearheaded woman.

I just hope Caleb understands.