A Younger Man (19 page)

But fuck, how Noah wanted to do everything with Zane. The guy already filled up every space in Noah’s thoughts that wasn’t occupied by his children and family. He wanted to do more than just have sex with Zane, though—although getting him on his back in a bed and sliding his cock into that perfect ass did invade most of Noah’s daydreams these days. Noah fantasized about doing a thousand other things with Zane too. Like, he wanted to get up early, eat breakfast, and then spend the day hiking in these mountains with the guy. He wanted to slowly take Zane against a tree with the sounds of birds and bugs chirping all around them as they shouted at completion. He wanted to come back to the cabin, lie on the couch together, and figure out what kind of movies they liked, and if they could agree on the perfect one to watch to cap off the day. Every part of his dream looked and sounded perfect, but the further Noah let those thoughts take him, fear would then creep in, and his heart would start to race as he wondered where in that scenario Zane might tell him that he’d changed his mind and wanted to get some experience with women too.

Noah hated the hypocrisy bubbling in him over such a fear. Here he’d been married for twenty years and had two kids—certainly less than perfect in owning his feelings and taking a stand on them—but he didn’t want the guy he fell for to have any doubts about being with him. He didn’t want Zane wondering what it might be like to be intimate with a woman. When they went to bed Noah didn’t want to see curiosity about another gender living in Zane’s eyes.
I want him all for myself, and I want him to be sure about me.

Beneath that feeling, though, what made Noah quake in his boots and break out in a sweat was the fear that he would risk his heart, let go with Zane, to learn down the line that Zane not only wondered about being with a woman, but such a curiosity would burn in him that he had to act on it. Right where he stood, Noah’s legs turned to marshmallow and he had to grab a support beam in the center of his cabin so that he didn’t fall to his knees.
I don’t know if I can keep upright through another loss.

Noah’s father’s rejection still cut him to the quick. Once again, Noah was hit with an avalanche of pain, making his chest band with nearly unbearable hurt. The confusion in Noah, having to face a decision of this magnitude about acting on his feelings for Zane, was exactly the kind of problem he would have taken to his father, trusting that the man’s linear, lawyer’s mind would help him sort out the facts from the fear.
He always used to help me see the truth.

A fisting tightness clutched Noah’s heart, and a terrible lump clogged his throat. Right then, footsteps thudded against his steps. A moment later, a knock reverberated through his home.

“Noah.” Zane’s muffled, yet sexy voice reached through the wood and made Noah tremble. “I need to talk to you.”

In three steps, Noah was at the door. He ripped it open, and the sight of Zane, so disheveled in a T-shirt, zip-up sweater, rumpled jeans, and flip-flops, worked more potently on Noah than a cover model in a three-piece suit.

An amber-colored porch light barely cut the darkness outside. “What are you doing here? It’s,” Noah glanced over his shoulder to a clock on his cabin wall, “four-twenty-two in the morning.”

With a shrug, Zane shoved his hands into his pockets. “I wasn’t asleep. When I saw your lights go on, I decided to come see you. I’ve been stuck thinking over and over what happened today—yesterday, I guess now—and I had a few things I needed to say.” Zane’s breath came unsteadily, and he switched to rubbing his palms against his jeans, but he kept his head up and looked Noah in the eyes. “I might not have any practical experience with other people, with romance or sex, but that doesn’t mean what I’m feeling or how much I wanted to kiss you is any less real for me than it is for you. I like you, Noah.” A smile came from Zane then; a tremulous, sweet as hell one. “I like you in a way I’ve never liked another soul on this earth. And God,” Zane brushed his fingertips up Noah’s belly to his chest, “I am so attracted to you.”

Sucking in a gasp of air, Noah covered Zane’s hand, bringing it to a stop. “Zane…”

“Let me just say this one other thing, because it’s important.” Zane’s fist, curled and trapped under Noah’s palm, scraped a slow pattern against Noah’s chest, right over his heart. He looked up at Noah, and nothing but pure, unfettered light showed in his blue, blue eyes. “You said you’d already been crushed once since you came out, and you didn’t think you could handle it happening again. I want something to happen between us, Noah.” Once again a nervous, sweet-as-all-get-out smile lifted Zane’s lips for the briefest second. “But even if you say no, and nothing ever does, I need you to know I would never do anything to hurt you.” Zane sucked in an unsteady breath, and his voice trembled as he added, “I think if I did, and I knew it, it would break me. I just need you to understand exactly how much I already care about you. I would never do anything to bring you harm.

“Okay,” Zane finally exhaled, and that smile, so fucking full of clear nervousness, appeared once more, “you can say whatever you wanted to now.”

Every light touch of Zane’s hand against Noah’s bare chest, and every second he remained locked on Noah without wavering—while Noah could see fear coursing through him—pushed against Noah’s own trepidation and ideas for what he needed in a relationship with another man. Noah already respected Zane more than he’d imagined possible. And God knew he desired the man more than he’d ever thought he could crave another human being.

Zane slid his other hand up Noah’s stomach and chest right then, over his shoulder, as if he’d been fantasizing about touching another man his whole life, and Noah slipped a little deeper under the spell that was Zane Halliday.

As Zane stepped closer, he curled his hand around Noah’s neck. “Noah?”

Christ.
The man’s fingers brushed against Noah’s nape, and blood rushed straight to Noah’s cock. Zane then rubbed his palm down Noah’s chest and grazed his nipple.

With a shudder, on pure emotion, Noah said roughly, “I don’t really want to talk right now.”

Zane lifted up on his tiptoes and whispered against Noah’s mouth, “Then don’t.”

Shit. He’s intoxicating.
Wise or not, impulsive or not, Noah let himself slip under the tide. His body raged to mate, and it only wanted this one young man. For the first time, not knowing where the hell this move would take him in his life, Noah grabbed Zane, crushed his mouth down on the other man’s, and lost himself in his feelings for another man.

*

The moment Noah slammed his mouth against Zane’s, Zane cried out and flung himself against Noah, making them both stumble a few steps into the cabin. Zane had spent every minute working at the restaurant last night thinking about Noah’s kiss and imagining where it could have gone if they hadn’t been at work. Then after he’d gotten his brother and sister organized for the morning, and then into bed, he’d paced the cabin with a picture of Noah in his head. The sensation of the bigger man’s mouth seared against his remained on Zane’s lips too, and Zane knew for certain that was how a kiss should taste between two people who were meant to be together. That kind of power and passion… Zane didn’t have to kiss a dozen other people to know it wouldn’t be like that with anyone else.
Not even close.

When Zane had seen the lights go on in Noah’s cabin, he hadn’t even thought twice. After throwing on clothes and grabbing a handful of things he needed, he’d run straight to Noah. If nothing else, Zane couldn’t bear for this kind, sexy man to ever believe Zane would hurt him.
Not for the world.

Right then Noah shoved Zane against the wall, next to the open door, and plastered his body to Zane’s, sandwiching Zane in the most amazing way. Zane forgot about anything but living in this moment, right now, with Noah. Pressure surged against Zane’s jaw, and Zane reveled in the force Noah used to push his way inside for a deeper kiss. Zane might even have a thumb-shaped bruise on his face later today, but he didn’t care. He tangled his tongue with Noah’s the moment the man thrust his inside, clumsily on his part for sure, but full of sincere eagerness. Noah groaned and rubbed himself harder against Zane, clearly pleased, and Zane suddenly didn’t care about his inexperience anymore.

“Please.” Zane pecked kisses all over Noah’s face as he struggled with the zipper to his sweater. “Help me get my clothes off.” He cursed the damn zipper and his frantic fingers. “I want to be naked with you.”

Noah’s pupils flared. Rather than help Zane get the stubborn clasp, he tore the sweater and T-shirt over Zane’s head and threw them aside. They went at each other again in a shot, lips clinging, tongues flicking. Zane kicked off his flip-flops and Noah shoved his hands down to get at Zane’s jeans.

Instead of tearing at the snap and zipper, Noah chuckled and brought their foreheads to rest against one another. “What the heck is all of this?” He came up with a walkie-talkie and gum in one hand and a mini-flashlight and cell phone in the other.

Heat burned through Zane’s cheeks. “I needed the flashlight to see in the dark, and the cell phone and walkie-talkie are in case Hailey or Duncan needs me. I left a note on their nightstand, my pillow, and the bathroom door in case one of them wakes up. We started using walkies when I needed to work in the cabin and they wanted to explore around outside.”

Noah put those three things on a catchall table, then, stealing another kiss from Zane, he whispered, “The walkies are a good idea.”

Zane blushed an even deeper red. “Thank you.”

“And what about the gum?” Noah held up the green packet.

Oh God.
If he’d been red before, now Zane went up in flames.
Shoot.
Wishing like hell he was just a bit smoother at all of this, Zane stubbornly kept his chin high. “I was hoping you would want to kiss me, so I wanted to have nice, minty breath.” Nerves and honesty had Zane blurting, “I spit out what I chewed and stuck it under your porch railing before I knocked.”

Noah barked with laughter, the sound and the mirth in his eyes lighting up the whole room. “Just this once,” Noah murmured as he descended again, “I’ll forgive you for littering on my property.”

“Thank y—” Noah claimed Zane’s mouth right then, deep and hard and full of aggression, and with a moan Zane shut up.

Zane clung to Noah, sinking into the man’s hot flesh as Noah invaded his mouth again. Eagerly parting his lips, Zane accepted the thrust of Noah’s tongue, still shocked, but loving the voraciousness with which Noah kissed. In every movie or TV show Zane had ever watched, or even every real couple he’d observed with envy, Zane never could have dreamed that kissing could feel like this. One part of Zane wanted to let Noah ravage his mouth, leaving Zane raw and swollen from Noah’s passion. Yet with an equally powerful need, Zane flung himself even harder against Noah, desperate to kiss him back and get so close their bodies would meld into one entity.

Breathing heavily, Zane let Noah own his mouth, for the moment, and instead obeyed the tingling firing in his palms.
I need to touch him everywhere
. Zane ran his hands all over Noah’s stomach and chest, loving the feel of the man’s hot, firm flesh. When that wasn’t enough, Zane pushed his hands around to learn every hard, sinewy line of Noah’s strong back. Good God, Noah’s skin was burning hot and rock solid, not an ounce of give anywhere. Every square inch of Noah that Zane touched spurred the fiery need already lit inside him and sparked a full-fledged wildfire. Zane had never understood the raging need to touch another person everywhere, but he suddenly knew that if he didn’t get his hands on Noah’s ass and cock he would expire on the spot.

Just then, just as Zane slipped the very tips of his fingers into the waistband of Noah’s flannel pajama bottoms, Noah bit at Zane’s lips and then pulled a few inches away. He visibly struggled to regain his breath, and his eyes burned the deepest, hottest espresso Zane had ever seen. “You’re so beautiful.” Noah brushed his fingers against Zane’s cheek and mouth, and the sight of such big, rough hands trembling with the slight contact speared straight to Zane’s heart. His gaze too bright, Noah pulled his hand away and hid it behind his back. “I’ve never desired someone so much that it makes me shake the way I do with you.”

Zane took Noah’s forearm and pulled his hand out of hiding. “I’ve never had such wet dreams and daydreams about being with a person all the time as I have since I met you.” More huskiness than Zane had ever heard filled his voice. “I want you, Noah.” Zane’s heart had never raced so fast. He’d also never been so goddamn hard either. Reaching out, he put his hand on the tie holding up Noah’s flannel bottoms, dangerously close to the visible line of the man’s erection. “I’m not so naive that I don’t understand what that means.” Zane let the edge of his pinkie graze the head of Noah’s cock, and they both gasped. Still, his throat tight, Zane looked Noah in the eyes and admitted, “I’ve come more than once on the fantasy of taking you inside me.” Then, he pulled on the string and let Noah’s pajama bottoms fall to the floor. “I’m not afraid of your cock.”

Noah’s shaft reared, and the head reached well past his belly button. Just as a pearl of seed pumped out from the slit, Noah muttered, “Fuck,” and stole a fast, hard kiss, sensitizing Zane’s lips even more. “You have no idea what your sweet sexiness does to me.” Noah’s stare seared through Zane. He yanked at the snap and zipper holding Zane’s jeans in place. “But you will.” With that, Noah shoved Zane’s jeans down to his knees and fused their bodies together once more.

Oh God. Oh shit.
Zane shouted, right into Noah’s mouth, as his bare cock touched Noah’s for the first time.
Fucking shit.
Nearly crawling straight out of his skin with first contact, Zane wrapped his arms around Noah, holding on for dear life, and he rubbed and rubbed and rubbed his dick against Noah’s. Nothing had ever felt as perfect or right as his rigid flesh touching Noah’s hot body.

“Christ, Zane…” Forehead to forehead, Noah pinned Zane to the wall, his stare a hazy blur of need. He curled his big hands around Zane’s hips, then slid around to cup his ass, and he used the strength in his hold to grind their dicks together even more. His lips parting, Noah looked almost frightened. “Feels so fucking good…” His fingers flexed deep into Zane’s ass cheeks, surely bruising the flesh.