Abel (16 page)

“
I didn’t because I hadn’t heard from him yet, and I hadn’t confirmed for sure that I’d be going.” Nellie wasn’t sure what to think of this line of questioning, but one thing was for sure: Abel wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was irritated about all of this. The giant balls of brass on this guy! “He texted me this morning, so I agreed. He’d told me about this restaurant Friday night. It was as good as he’d heard it was,
totally
worth the two-hour drive.”

Nellie continued staring out her window
, refusing to look his way. Her mind was made up, even if her heart wasn’t quite there yet. This ended
now
. She’d been naïve to think she could actually do this—that the incredible sex and the temporary times she got to pretend he was all hers were worth it.

“
So you just met this guy Friday and agreed to let him drive you home that same night and then take a two-hour drive with him today? Kind of dangerous, don’t you think?”

“
He wasn’t a complete stranger,” she clarified, the annoyance with his tone growing heavier with each question. “He’s a friend of Logan’s.”

“
And how long have you known Logan?”

“
What is this? Twenty questions?” she snapped, glancing back at him, sounding more defensive than she’d planned.

Truth was she
hadn’t known Logan for too long or very well at all. She still thought him a bit peculiar. When she’d spoken with him yesterday morning to ask him about his ex and how she was doing, he’d been vague. She thought maybe he’d been embarrassed since Sam did say his ex was dramatic and that’s why he’d changed the subject so abruptly. Oddly, he’d seemed more interested in hearing how things had gone with her and Sam, but not in a prying, questioning way as she would’ve thought. He sounded genuinely pleased that Sam had called him that morning to tell him they’d really hit it off. He even asked if she’d be seeing him again.

Her sudden snap
in mood seemed to have rendered Abel speechless for a moment because he was staring straight ahead, his jaw working, and he hadn’t responded. So she was glad for the interruption when her phone buzzed. Her mom had already called her once earlier, and not wanting to be rude to Sam she’d sent it to voicemail, but her mom hadn’t left a message. She had a thing about not wanting to take up too much of Nellie’s time, so she rarely called twice in one day unless it was important. At that moment, the last thing Nellie was worried about was being rude to Abel, so she answered.

“
Hi, Mom, I was gonna call you as soon as I got home.”

“
I know. I wouldn’t have called you again, but your father and I are about to board a plane, so I was going to leave a message.”

“
Board a plane? Where are you going?”

Her parents were hermits
, and if they ever did take a trip, it was planned out and talked about for months in advance. She’d just spoken to her mom the other day. Never once did she mention a trip.

She heard her mom sigh heavily.
“It’s a long story, honey, but basically, Courtney is in mandatory rehab. I don’t know if you knew anything about this.”

Nellie
straightened abruptly. “No, I didn’t. I haven’t talked to her in forever. She never answers or returns my calls.”

If
neither having to run to Roni’s bathroom to try and compose herself nor Abel’s questioning hadn’t sobered her up completely, this did.

Her mother filled her in quickly on Cou
rtney failing to pick up Gus at the daycare center one too many times and custody having been given solely to Rick. As far as Nellie knew, the jerk was a deadbeat dad who didn’t do half his part of spending time with Gus as Courtney had hoped. But it’d been so long since she’d actually spoken to her sister that things might’ve changed.

“
Anyway, Courtney’s been in rehab for weeks already, and Rick is just now calling to tell us because he says she made him swear he wouldn’t. But he says he’s been struggling with Gus because his job requires him to go out of town a lot and was hoping to hire a nanny soon, only he can’t afford one yet.” Her poor mother sounded so worried. All those feelings of hatred toward her sister and Rick that she thought were long behind her came rushing back. “In the midst of the conversation, he mentioned how already he’s had to leave him in the care of neighbor for a few days at a time more than once while he goes out of town for work.”

“
What?
” Nellie squeezed the phone tighter. “A neighbor? Which neighbor?”

“
Those were my first questions, Nellie, especially because Courtney told me just a few months ago that Rick had moved out of his girlfriend’s place and gotten his own apartment. If he’s only lived there for a few months, how well can he know these neighbors, and he’s leaving my grandson with them for days at a time?”

“
What did he say?”

“
That he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.”

“
That selfish bastard,” Nellie muttered. If she didn’t already, she now had Abel’s full attention.

“
He leaves again day after tomorrow for a week.”

“
And you and daddy are flying out to stay with Gus?”

“
No. We’re bringing him home to stay with us until Courtney gets out. She only has a few of weeks left to go. When I voiced my concerns about him leaving Gus for a week with near strangers, he said, ‘It is what it is.’ Then he said if it bothered me so much and we wanted to come get Gus he was all ours. He’d even sign guardianship over to us.”

All theirs?
That’s how much he cared about being near his son? Nellie brought her hand to her mouth, closing her eyes. She felt completely ashamed that she’d once been married to this man.

“
Something wrong?” Abel asked, the tension that had filled that car just minutes earlier now replaced with a feeling of urgency.

Nellie nodded but waved at him to give her a second. After her mom gave her all the facts about how long she
’d be in Seattle and how and when she’d be back with Gus, Nellie got off the phone. Everything she’d been so worried about all day regarding her love life now seemed so trivial in comparison.

She shamefully
explained about her sister in rehab and her asshole ex-husband pawning their son off on her parents. “They’re on a plane now to go bring him home until Courtney gets out and she can get custody back.”

Abel frowned
, looking very genuinely concerned. Any resentment he may’ve been feeling toward her earlier was completely gone now. “Anything I can do?”

“
No, there’s nothing.” She smiled softly then felt sadness deep in her heart for what she had to say next. “But I think maybe it’s best if you don’t stay tonight and I skip your radio interview tomorrow. I didn’t get the work done that I was supposed to on the mixer today, and now I have a few more things I need to look into for my parents, regarding my sister and Gus.”

Abel pulled up into her driveway without even looking at her
, and without turning off his car, he nodded, his moving Adam’s apple once again catching her attention. “That’s fine. You take care of what you have to take care of. If you need to reschedule anything else you have going on with 5th Street or even going on with the fight, that’s fine too, Nell. I don’t want you stressing over any of that when you have this to worry about now.”

Feeling the enormous knot
in her throat nearly suffocate her because this totally felt like the beginning of the end, she shook her head. A part of her, that pathetic little part of her heart still held out hope—hope that she could just shut off the hurt of knowing that as with Rick she alone would never be enough for Abel—hope that she could just accept this arrangement for what it was and that she wouldn’t have to walk away to save herself from further pain. That same pathetic part of her aching heart had also actually hoped that he might insist on staying. As strong as she was trying to be, she knew with all certainty that if he stayed with her she’d be in his arms all night. Once again, she’d give into him entirely despite the amount of time she’d spent agonizing over those photos today.

Swallowing back the knot
that was still lodged in her throat, she fought the urge to take him up on the offer to cancel everything and just stay in bed for the next few weeks instead. Unless she was planning on cutting Abel along with her work with 5th Street completely out of her life, which would kill her best friend, she may as well face the inevitable. “No, they won’t be back for a few days. They’ll be renting a car and start driving back tomorrow. My mom said she has no desire to be anywhere near Rick for any longer than she absolutely has to be. But we should have everything squared away before the fight and the other things I need to work on.”

“
They’re driving back from Seattle?” Abel asked wide-eyed. “That’s a hell of a drive.”

Nellie nodded in agreement then explained why.
“They think it’ll be less dramatic for Gus than taking him through the whole airport and flying experience. And they figured the long drive home would get them better acquainted with him.” She opened the car door, her heart aching with every move that she made to end this night with Abel. “They haven’t had a vacation in a while. This will probably be it for them for a few years.”

“
Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow at the gym. You said eight, right?” he said as she got out, making no attempt at all to reach out for her and kiss her madly as he normally did.

“
Yeah, eight.”

With the realization that she was really walking away from Abel for the first time in weeks without so much as a peck goodbye and
that he was perfectly fine with it, she couldn’t even turn to face him now as she closed the door.

“
I’ll be on the lookout.”

He didn
’t even wait for her to go in before revving up his car and pulling out in a hurry. Maybe he figured he still had time for a quick one with the fitness model or whoever else he had lined up.

With her vision completely blurred now as she struggled to unlock her front door
, she finally got it open and hurried to her room. The second she made it to her bed, she lay down and let out all the pain she’d felt that day. She knew no matter how much she wanted this to keep going that she had to put an end to it. It was just too damn painful to keep insisting that she could do this. She’d been an idiot for bringing him back home last night even after Roni had told her how he still felt about their relationship. Maybe he did enjoy doing romantic things with her like in San Francisco and even the night they had last night then again this morning. But it didn’t mean he wanted that for an extended amount of time and exclusively with only one girl.

She
sobbed into her pillow, the pain smashing into her heart and stealing the air from her lungs so much so that it alarmed her. Gasping for chunks of air through what felt like a tiny straw, she reached for her inhaler on her nightstand. She forced herself to calm down because she could feel herself getting close to that point of no return—a place she’d dove into far too many times when she was a child but only a handful as an adult. If she didn’t calm down now—force herself to take long deep calm breaths—she could end up having another asthma attack that was so bad she’d be in the emergency room all night. That hadn’t happened since she was still married. Before that, she hadn’t had an episode that felt like this one since high school.

As she sat there
, still trying to calm herself, taking long slow breaths, she realized something. She hadn’t imagined herself falling so dangerously hard for Abel. This was further proof that she was too far gone to continue with this arrangement.

C
hapter 14

Something had definitely changed. Last night
Abel hadn’t wanted to stick around for even another minute. He’d been beyond pissed. One date with this Sam guy, and suddenly Abel was yesterday’s news? But once he calmed, he realized there was more to it. Aside from the news that Nellie had just gotten about her sister and nephew, it was blatantly obvious she wasn’t in the greatest mood even before the call. He held on to the hope that the goddamn photos of him and Rachel that were still going viral were the reason behind her “twenty questions” retort, because it was so out of character for her. But then again, he wasn’t used to asking personal questions, so he wouldn’t know exactly how she’d normally respond. Was this just her way of finally saying he’d crossed the line, or could he actually be right and the photos were the cause of her bad mood?

Th
e morning she arrived at 5th Street for her meeting with the winery rep had been weird again. He ran into her in the parking lot of 5th Street. She’d worn one of her business skirt suits, but more than sexy, beautiful was the only way he’d describe her now. As much as he yearned to kiss her, he’d refrained—too afraid she’d reject him. It might confirm what had kept him up most of the night: that maybe she’d changed her mind about this whole thing. Maybe
Sam
had something to do with her decision. There was definitely something different about her demeanor toward him—colder—distant.

They made small talk about her nephew and
then about her parents arriving safely in Seattle. She’d avoided eye contact for the most part then excused herself when she got the text from the rep she was meeting, letting her know she was right outside. And that was it. Abel had been quickly caught up in training again. The fight was only two weeks away now. He’d be going into virtual training lockdown and conditioning soon and for sure would have little to no time for a social life.

At first
, he thought it was a good thing. With things definitely going in a new direction, he gave into Noah’s pleas to concentrate on this fight and nothing else. He’d had every intention of doing just that before becoming involved with Nellie. Of all five of the now owners of 5th Street including their silent partner, Felix, Abel had always been by far the most dedicated. A shot at the title was his lifelong dream, and now he’d put it on the back burner for something that had always irritated him about his friends—a girl. So this awkwardness and sudden distance couldn’t have happened at a better time.

But even
through the last week of intense training that started in the wee hours of the morning and continued until late in the afternoon, leaving him completely exhausted, thoughts of Nellie still lingered. Mid-week he’d given into temptation and texted her to simply say that he missed her. Her response? She missed him too, but nothing more. He’d followed up to mention that his grueling training schedule was endless and would continue to be, up until he left for Vegas. He hoped it answered the unasked question of why he’d suddenly disappeared.

To his relief
, her response to that seemed to convey understanding to the answer of her unasked question. She said that she could only imagine then mentioned that Roni had told her that Noah had hardly been home lately either. But the even bigger relief was that she never once mentioned canceling driving out to Vegas with him. As far as he knew, that was still on, but he was worried. Clearly, the day those photos of him and Rachel went viral, something changed. He only hoped the newer grainy photos that had been leaked of him and Rachel in the gym and her turning on the flirtation again by touching his hair and face weren’t going to be the cause of more changes. The only reason he even knew of the photos was because Andy and Noah were pissed that obviously someone in the gym was taking photos with his phone and leaking them to the press.

Dread of giving
Nellie the opportunity to cancel driving out to Vegas with him, in case she’d seen the new photos, kept him from giving in to the temptation of calling her all week. It’d been over a week since he’d last spoken with her. It was really beginning to feel like torture. What had she been up to? He hadn’t dared to ask Noah about it, and he knew Noah wasn’t about to bring it up on his own. If anyone knew better what a distraction this could be, it was Noah. Good or bad, his good friend and trainer was not about to let him in on anything that might wreak havoc on his training. As it was, Abel was trying his damnedest to concentrate, and he still felt off. No doubt Gio and Noah had picked up on it too.

Now he lay
there, losing the battle against the temptation to call her and just talk to her for a few minutes—hear her voice one time before he went to bed so he could sleep better. But would he? Or would it keep him up longer?

He sat up and grabbed his phone. Hesitating for just a moment
, he hit the dial button and waited as her phone rang. Lying back down on his bed, he held his breath. What if she wasn’t alone? Now he squeezed his eyes shut, his insides fully engulfed in flames in an instant.

“
Hello?”

Just hearing her voice calmed him
enough that he actually smiled. “Hey,” he said, sitting up slowly. “You busy?”

“
Not really,” she said, exhaling heavily. “I was just about to call it a night. The mixer’s been a little more work than I expected.”

Hearing the hint of stress in her voice
, he frowned. “Everything okay?”

“
Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. I’ve just had my hands full. That’s all.” She paused for a moment before her next question. “And you? Training hard? I hear they’ve been riding you mercilessly.”

“
Yeah, well, it’s getting down to the wire now. I’m in the gym all day every day.” He wanted to make that clear. The gym and this fight had kept him from her, nothing or no one else had as the tabloids might be implying. “Tomorrow, I have a few phone interviews in the morning, but after that, it’s back to the grind. How are things with your sister and your nephew?”

“
They’re going. He’s here now with my parents, and my sister should be out soon. She wasn’t happy that Rick gave Gus up so easily, but what can she do?” He heard her sigh. “It’s just so hard to believe that I could have been so wrong about someone, you know? To think . . .”

She didn
’t finish, and Abel waited for a few seconds, lying back down on his bed before asking. “To think, what?”

“
Never mind. He’s not something I want to put any energy into thinking about right now . . . or ever again.”

After going quiet for a moment
, he heard her typing. “You sure I’m not interrupting your work?”

“
No,” she said even as the typing continued. “I was also chatting online as I worked, but I’m closing it up now.”

Abel glanced at the clock. It was already past eleven.
With the question begging to be asked—who the hell was she chatting with this late—she started to make another comment. “Listen, about Vegas—”

“
Please don’t cancel.” Abel was already sitting up again. His suddenly pounding heart and desperate tone surprised him but not more than what flew out of his mouth next. “I
need
you there with me, Nellie.”

The line went completely quiet. The typing
ceased, and he didn’t even hear her breathing anymore until she spoke again. “I . . . I wasn’t gonna cancel.” Her tone had changed. She sounded a little surprised, stunned maybe. Abel waited, praying he hadn’t blown it. “I was just gonna ask for the exact itinerary. What day and time were you planning on driving out?”

Pulling the phone away from him a little so she wouldn
’t hear the enormous breath of relief he took then exhaled, Abel smiled. He told her what day he wanted to leave, and they went through the motions of deciding what time was best for both of them. Neither mentioned his unexpected declaration, but it was out there, and even though he immediately regretted letting it out that way, he was now glad that he had. Maybe she’d remember that the next time she saw another one of those stupid tabloid photos of him and Rachel.

Nellie had already yawned a couple of times
, and she had mentioned she’d be up early the next day, so Abel was getting ready to let her go, but not before he made sure he told her what he’d really called to say. “I miss you, Nell.”

Like earlier
, she was quiet for moment then cleared her throat. “I miss you too,” she whispered.

Neither said anything for a few silent moments
, and even as exhausted as he was, if she’d only uttered the words that she wished she could see him, he’d be in his car before she finished her sentence. But she didn’t. Instead she said goodnight, and just like that the call was over.

Abel
lay there in his bed, staring at the dark ceiling, thinking. He wanted so badly to believe that she was feeling what he was. But there was no denying her words. It wasn’t just a mistaken assumption or even her lying. She’d told him herself that serious relationships were not on her agenda. She wanted to be free. Then he saw it with his own eyes.

Punching his mattress
, he shook his head in an effort to shake the visual of her kissing her
date a
way. One thing was for damn sure: he’d never admit it out loud, but Noah was right. He was either going to have to suck it up or end this thing because there was
no way
he was going to be able to deal with that. The very idea that he could get used to it with time as he’d tried to insinuate
was
insane. He’d never get used to that. His reaction to seeing her kiss Sam would be exactly the same if he ever saw it again. It made no sense to even try to pretend he’d hold back, because just lying there thinking about it made him feel like kicking someone’s ass.

That
meant he had an even bigger problem now. Even if he did end things as Noah suggested, it still wouldn’t change the way he felt. His reaction to seeing her with someone else, as inevitable as that was, would still be ugly. What Noah and Roni had been so worried about would happen. It hit him just then. It had already happened. If Noah ever had a gathering where Abel was warned upfront that Nellie would be there with someone else, he wouldn’t show up. There had to be another alternative than the only two Noah thought would work. Ending things with Nellie would effectively mean ending any social gatherings with one of his best friends. He didn’t even want to consider that, but there’d be no way—
no way—
his being around Nellie and another man would
ever
work.

~*~

The long day at the zoo with her nephew, her parents, Roni, and little Jack had worn Nellie out. She hadn’t even realized how long it’d been since she spent that much quality time with her parents or her best friend. Most notably, she hadn’t realized how much she needed to take a break from her busy life and tormented heart. It’d been nice to just relax and think of nothing more than having some good family fun.

She
’d been closer to Roni than she’d ever been to her own sister, so she and Jack were just as much family to her as her parents. Nellie wasn’t even ashamed to admit she loved Roni more than she did her sister. It was natural. Roni’s love for Nellie had always been so selfless—the girl would do anything for Nellie, and betray her? Never. Nellie could tell that Roni still felt terrible about making her feel bad the night she’d told her she’d meant to rub it in to Abel’s brother that she’d been on a date. Ever since then, Roni had hardly asked about Abel.

The drive home from the zoo was a quiet one except for when Gus got fussy.
“He’s tired,” her mom explained as he squirmed in his car seat next to her, whining.

Nellie handed Roni her phone.
“Find the app on my second screen that looks like a big bouncing ball. He likes playing with that one.” She turned back to Gus as she reached the stop light. “You wanna play with auntie’s phone, Gus?”

Immediately
, he reached his hand out. “Fom!”

She smiled as Roni turned around and handed it to him.
“Here you go.”

Glancing up in her rearview mirror
, she could see that, unlike Gus, Jack wasn’t the only one who’d dozed off; so had her dad. Her mom’s eyes were beginning to droop as well. She frowned, feeling terrible that she’d been so busy that she’d hardly been able to help them with Gus.

“
So Logan just disappeared?” Roni asked as she straightened back out in her seat.

“
Yeah,” Nellie nodded as the light turned green. “I didn’t hear from him for a few days, which was weird because he was supposed to be doing the financials for the mixer and from day one he was all about communication, constantly calling and texting.”

“
I remember you saying he was kind of pushy even.”

“
Exactly,” Nellie could admit it now. He
was
on the pushy side. “Then suddenly he emails me that he’d finished the work he was supposed to be doing and said he’d gotten an offer out of state and couldn’t pass it up.” She shrugged. “When I interviewed him initially, he
did
say he’d been in a real financial bind for months. So I guess if he got offered something permanent and with more pay, I can see why he’d just up and leave, but now I’m stuck doing it all alone, and this is a huge project. I’ve been up to my eyeballs with it.”