Abide: An Awakened Fate Novella (9 page)

Vetorians had no reason to attack their own.

“Did the mercenary say which way they’d gone?” I asked, my voice carefully controlled.

“East, toward the California coast.”

I bit my lip. Niall had said Washington. This just left more coastline to cover.

“And my grandfather? Did he go that way too?”

“He–”

A rumbling noise cut her off and, beneath us, the ground suddenly began to shake. Gasping, I kicked up from the floor as dust and gravel started falling from the ceiling to cloud the water.

“What the hell?” I cried.

Shouts came from outside as the shaking grew worse and the rumbling turned to a growl like the largest land predator in the world suddenly had us in its throat. I swam for the cave opening to see what was happening.

“Princess!” Egan yelled.

I only had time to gasp. The ceiling over the cave opening started to slide. The rocks tumbled down, heading straight at me.

Egan grabbed me and yanked me backward as the cave entrance collapsed. His arms crushed me to him as he turned and plastered us both to the floor, his body covering mine as the world roared and darkness swallowed everything.

Chapter Nine

I blinked. The cave was completely dark, so dark that my eyes couldn’t compensate for it. Grit filled the water, making it hard to breathe, and I coughed. “Egan?”

He moved away from me. “Are you alright?”

I nodded. The water felt strange, like everything was still shaking, but the feeling faded even as I noticed it. “Yeah, I think so. I–”

A groan came from deeper in the cave, the sound weak and pained.

Egan swore. “Elder Josinya?”

She didn’t answer.

“Here,” I rasped, struggling not to keep coughing in the clouded water. I tugged my bag around from my shoulder and fumbled inside, finding the torch a moment later. Bringing it out, I pressed at the indentations on its side, working to bring the magical fire to life.

A second passed. Light flickered up in the form of blue-white flames. The shadows in the cave retreated.

I almost wished they hadn’t.

Half the cave had collapsed and the entrance was gone. Sheets of stone blocked the exit now, the slabs huge and heavy and looking as though they might be the only things supporting the rocks above our heads. The rear of the cave was the same, leaving us trapped in a small pocket between two walls of tumbled stone.

And beneath a rock nearby, Elder Josinya was pinned.

I gasped. Egan rushed past me, hurrying to the woman’s side.

“Stay still,” he ordered when she tried to move.

She didn’t respond. The stone was resting on the lower half of her tail and I couldn’t see her fin at all. Pain deepened the wrinkles on her face, and her breathing came in ragged fits and starts.

“Can we move this?” I asked.

Egan glanced to the rock and then back to Josinya. “We can try.”

I could hear the doubt in his voice. I tried to ignore it. Quickly, I propped the torch nearby and then returned to his side.

“Grab there,” he directed, pointing. “We’ll try rolling it that way.”

I nodded.

“One,” he said. “Two…”

We shoved. The rock slid and grated under my palms, and for a terrible moment, I thought it’d never move.

And then a pained cry escaped Josinya as the boulder shifted.

I gasped as the stone fell away. Bloodied wounds met my gaze. The elder’s scales were torn and part of her tail seemed crushed. Trembling, I reached back into my bag while Egan moved to check on her. My fingers found the sieranchine jar, thankfully unbroken, and I tugged it out. “Will this help?”

He took the jar. “It’ll buy time.”

Swallowing hard at the response, I bent to slice a patch of seaweed from one of the cushions with my spikes while he opened the jar. Accepting the scrap from me without a word, he set to scooping out the medicine and then applied it to her tail.

The pain on her face eased slightly.

“Just stay still,” Egan told her. “The villagers will be here to help us soon.”

Josinya was silent.

I hesitated, looking around to see what else could be done, and my eyes came to rest on a cushion. Pulling it over, I gave it to Egan, and then watched while he gently lifted the elder’s head and then lowered her down onto the pillow.

“Grab a tapestry too,” he said.

I did as he asked, tugging one of them from the wall. Taking it from me, Egan draped it over Josinya and then carefully tucked it around her like a blanket while I sank to the ground nearby.

A moment slid past.

“You’re good at this,” I said.

He shrugged, not looking at me.

Another moment crept by. Torchlight flickered over his white hair, turning it to a shimmering shade of pale blue, and on his shoulder, I suddenly noticed scratches.

My brow twitched down. I bent backward slightly.

Scrapes marked his back from where rocks must have pelted him when they fell.

A short gasp left me. “You’re hurt.” I reached for the sieranchine jar in his hand.

He moved it away. “I’m fine.”

“But–”

“We need to save this.”

His gaze flicked toward Elder Josinya. I shivered. Her breathing seemed easier now, but otherwise she hadn’t moved. I couldn’t even tell if she was conscious.

“Thank you,” I said. “For, you know…”

He nodded. He still wasn’t looking at me.

I let out a breath and turned to the entrance again. Rubble coated the ground around us, making me doubt the stability of the roof over our heads, though at least the dust was settling to the floor. I couldn’t hear anything from the other side of the slabs of rock blocking the entrance, though. But the villagers had known we were in here. They’d be coming for us soon.

Unless more people were hurt. Unless there weren’t enough people to rescue everyone.

Panic started to quiver through me. I struggled to push it away.

“So…” I tried. “Earthquake, huh?”

“Been happening for the past week or so, farther out in the ocean.”

I looked back at him. “Really?”

Egan shrugged. “Just small ones.” He paused. “No one got hurt.”

I kept myself from glancing to Josinya. I hadn’t heard that, though considering what happened to Dad, maybe nobody had felt the news was all that critical.

My gaze dropped to the floor. Someone would be here to get us soon, though. They knew where we were. We’d be fine, and Elder Josinya would be too.

Seconds crept by, filled with silence and the utter lack of anyone coming to rescue us.

I closed my eyes, breathing slowly and trying to stay calm.

“Why did you react like that, princess?” Egan asked quietly.

My brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“A few weeks ago, when I told you… when I said that. You didn’t laugh or… you didn’t even say anything. You just took off.”

Irritation rose in me. Good grief, he wanted to talk about that
now
? Oh, but of course he did. Now was the perfect time, given that we were stuck here and I couldn’t get away from him. Given that the world was threatening to crash down and kill us.

Given that we could die.

I fidgeted uncomfortably on the rubble. We wouldn’t. We’d be fine.

“I don’t know.”

My voice sounded defensive. I made myself take a breath as his gaze met mine.

“You shouldn’t have said anything,” I continued more coldly. “You had no right to say that to me.”

Egan paused, and then a scoff escaped him. “I didn’t realize having feelings for a member of the royal family violated the rules of etiquette, highness. My apologies.”

My irritation grew. “
Etiquette
? Telling me you…” I couldn’t get the word out.

“Loved you.”

“Shut up.”

His face darkened.

“
That
,” I continued. “Telling me that. You should have kept it to yourself.”

He stared at me for a moment. “Why do you even
care
? Some courtier, some lover in your long string of lovers says something you think they shouldn’t… why do you care?” He scowled. “Why not just tell me to leave? Have your brother order me home? Why do this?”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Exactly!”

I gaped at him in irate bafflement. “
What
?”

His scowl deepened. “You didn’t do anything. You left, you came back, and you went on like nothing happened. The whole damn palace knew I’d upset you. They saw how you bolted out of here and disappeared for days, and they knew it was for a reason. And yet there you were, carrying on like you barely even knew me. Like the time between us had just ceased to exist and nothing had bothered you at all. It was deranged, princess. Why did you do that?”

I bristled. “
Deranged
? I take off all the time. Everyone knows that.”

“Not when you have a reason to be here, you don’t.”

I looked away. “So this is all about you, huh? Your bruised ego because they knew you’d–”

He made a furious sound. I didn’t turn back.

Seconds slid past. No one came for us. The silence didn’t change.

“I can’t have been the first one to ever tell you that,” he said.

I didn’t respond. That wasn’t the point. That had nothing to do with it at all.

He looked back toward me and from the corner of my eye, I could see his brow draw down. “Was I?”

I stayed motionless. I focused on keeping everything from my face. He wasn’t. Not exactly. But the others…

My throat was tight. They hadn’t said what he did. They’d told me they loved what I did to them. How I made them feel. And when they said that, they hadn’t looked at me like he had, with this… this
thing
in their eyes like the words were more than just something to say while having sex.

Like it was real.

I shivered. “No.”

“Then why–”

“You weren’t, okay? Get over yourself.”

I shoved away from the ground and retreated to the boulders near the entrance of the cave. Behind me, I felt him move off the floor too. I didn’t turn around.

He hadn’t been the first. If you counted all instances of the word, he hadn’t.

He’d just been the first to say it about me.

My stomach clenched. Stupid. He’d been so fucking stupid. Things had been good. We’d been having a great time. He’d been funny and smart and kind and great in bed and I– I’d loved being with him. Loved spending time with him. Loved the way we’d seemed to understand each other like we’d known one another for our entire lives, rather than the few months it’d been since his father came to court.

It was hard to breathe. That wasn’t the same thing. That wasn’t even
close
to the same thing. Lots of people said they loved being with me. It didn’t mean anything at all.

It’d hurt, losing that.

I pushed the thought away. So what? He was great company and a great lover too. That was a difficult combination to find.

And I never had. Not like it was with him.

Not like I’d felt around him.

I drew a rough breath, fighting to shove those thoughts down with the first. I didn’t do emotions. That emotion. The romantic one. None of us did. Not me, not Zeke, not– Egan’s hand rested on my shoulder. I flinched, not having noticed him come close.

“What is it, then?” he asked.

I shifted my shoulders, and he took his hand away as I moved farther from him. “I don’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“This.”

He paused. “Why?”

My brow flickered down. Why? Who cared
why
? I didn’t need a reason not to want to get emotionally involved with someone.

“Because I don’t,” I said.

He was silent for a moment. “And if you did?”

I didn’t respond.

“Princess,” he continued quietly. “What do you think that would cost you?”

I felt him move closer. I tensed.

“What are you thinking that’d do?”

I stayed silent. There wasn’t a point in answering. He should know. He’d grown up in the same world I had. Seen the same things as me. Everyone was only in this for their own advantage, from sex to dating all the way through to marriage. You had to keep your head on straight for that. You had to be cautious, and make sure you never promised more than you could deliver and that you always kept as much of the power as possible.

And you never got emotionally involved. Not once.

People only made fools of you if you did.

My stomach twisted. That hadn’t had anything to do with me. It’d been his own fault he’d been the laughingstock. He shouldn’t have let himself forget reality.

“Princess?”

“Don’t you know?”

He paused. “I know it hurt. When you left. When I saw you with… with those others. When I realized you didn’t feel the same about me as I did for you.” I felt him turn away. “I’m not sorry, though, that I told you. I can’t be sorry for that.”

His tone was quiet, thoughtful, and held tinges of that same thing I’d heard weeks ago.

Adrenaline prickled through my veins at the sound of it, like I was being chased by the soldiers all over again. “What do you want, Egan?” I demanded, looking back to him. “Really?”

His brow furrowed. “You mean do I want you to feel the same? I–”

“What are you
after
? More power for your father? Maybe me bargaining for Teariad on his behalf?”

He stared at me. “
That’s
what you think this is? Some ploy for–”

“I think it’s bullshit,” I retorted. “Everyone’s always after something, I don’t care what they say. They always want something. So what is it you’re–”

I cut off as he came closer. Incredulity and hurt in his eyes, he looked down at me.

“I want you,” he said. “Just you. No tricks, no political schemes. You think I give a damn that you’re the princess? That your brother or your father or anyone else is king? You think
that’s
why I said what I did?”

He turned away. I watched him, speechless.

“I never wanted anything from you,” he continued. “Then or since. I never wanted
anything
but what we had, for every second of every minute that you would let me be with you. And I’m sorry you thought that was just some kind of sick game.”