Above the Noise (30 page)

“Morning, you two. I’ll get the juice.” My mom smiled at us and winked at me when she walked past. “So, Calon, what is that heavenly smell?”

“Well, it’s something my mom used to make all the time. It’s strata. Bread, cheese, and eggs all stirred together and baked. You let it soak in the pan overnight, so the bread sucks up all the moisture. You can put just about anything in it, but I was a little limited to meatless ingredients.” He smiled and pulled me closer into his side.

“Wow. Was your mom Martha Stewart.?” I cringed on the inside at her question, because I didn’t know where that would take Calon in his mind.

“Not really, Mrs. Mowry. Quite honestly, I’ve been cooking since I was five. So, it was simply the ease in preparation that inspired her to share this recipe with me. That way she didn’t have to get up to make us breakfast.” I rested my head against his chest and pulled him to me. His smile was pained, but he had been respectful in his portrayal of his mom. I wondered where she was, if she was better, if she knew of her son’s talents and success.

I looked up at my mom and made a face. She needed to respond somehow. Calon didn’t open up to many people.

“Calon, I’m sorry. I—”

“No worries, Mrs. Mowry. It was a long time ago. Now, ladies, are we going to eat or what?”

After a couple hours of eating and storytelling, we were all too stuffed to move. Calon got up and brought the presents from under the tree to the table.

Neither of us grew up doing big Christmas mornings like the ones you see on TV where the room is filled with piles and piles of gifts. My mom always taught me that giving gifts wasn’t about the amount of gifts you bought someone, it was about the amount of thought that went into that one perfect gift.

At a street fair in LA, Calon and I’d watched a man hand-dye a silk scarf. The design was very abstract, but the blue and green splotches of color reminded me of Hydrangeas, which were my mom’s favorite flower.

“I love this. It looks like Hydrangeas. Thank you both, so much. There was no need to spend money on me. My gift was you two coming home for the holidays in the middle of a big tour.” She looped the scarf around her neck and fluffed it here and there to make it just right.

“Well, I guess it’s my turn. I got you two a joint gift.” She reached across the table and placed an envelope in front of us. Calon motioned for me to open it. It was a five hundred dollar gift card for BabyMe, a baby boutique just outside Knoxville that had everything we’d need to welcome our little one home.

“Thank you so much, Mom. This is amazing.” I got up and walked around the table to give her a hug. When I turned to head back to where I’d been sitting, Calon was behind me, waiting to hug her. Their hug lasted a little longer than I would have thought, and neither of them spoke. Not out loud, at least.

I was so excited to give Calon what I’d had made for him. There was this cool shop down the street from the hotel that sold handmade jewelry, tapestries, leather bags, belts, and cuffs. Leather cuffs were a rocker thing. A single wide strap and a snap, like a bracelet. I had the guy that made them hand-stamp something and dye Calon’s a little darker than he usually did. He’d looked at me like I was crazy when I wrote down what I wanted stamped into it. I told him to just make it look good. He made the letters smaller than he usually did so all the words would fit and it turned out beautiful. I knew Calon would love it.

When he pulled it from the bag, he read it out loud.

“Without limit, infinite, no catch, no fine print, no holds barred, no ifs ands or buts, no joke, no strings attached, pure, unconditional, unlimited, and unrestricted.” Unshed tears floated in his eyes. He reached for my chin and pulled my face to his. “I’ve never owned something this personal. Thank you so much, Becki. I love it. I really, really love it.” He kissed me gently then snapped his cuff around his arm and, like a little boy, grabbed the finely wrapped small, flat box from in front of him and handed it to me.

It didn’t take long to unwrap, and, to be honest, I was a bit nervous to open it. I had a feeling it was something as personal and meaningful as what I’d given him. When I pulled the lid off, I smiled. It was a bracelet, too, a narrow silver bangle. And it was also hand-stamped but with the last stanza of the song I’d read on the pad of paper by the hotel bed.

“I want to be your habit. I want to be your vice. I want to lose myself inside you. Be the reflection in your eyes.” I slid it on my arm and held my arm out for my mom to see. She turned it as she read it.

“Now, how did you two do that? Your gifts are almost identical?”

“Good minds, Mrs. Mowry.” Calon flashed her a priceless smile.

“Calon, so that song really
was
about me?”

“You doubted me?”

“I don’t know. I just thought maybe it was a song about love more so than about a specific person.”

“Nope. It’s all you. And there’s another small part to my present.” He got up and walked into the hallway. I heard the coat closet open and close. When he walked back into the kitchen, his acoustic guitar was hanging from his shoulders. He smiled, and I realized what he was going to do.

Calon put his foot up on the seat of his chair and rested his guitar on his thigh. He looked up at us and chuckled. My mom and I must’ve looked like a couple crazed fans just waiting for him to notice us. He winked, shook his head, and then started to play. It was the melody I’d heard him humming in the kitchen.

So much of my life has been darkness

But you handed me the sun

Brought to me as a gift

Baby, you’re the one.

Your heart came at me like the tide

Each wave coveting more

Now you’re completely inside

And, I’ll never leave your shores.

I want to be your habit

I want to be your vice

I want to lose myself inside you

Be the reflection in your eyes.

So much of my life has been darkness

But you handed me the sun

Brought to me as a gift

Baby, you’re the one.

The one who lights my fire

Who turns me inside out.

The one whose body tempts me

Leaves me breathless and spellbound

So much of my life has been darkness

But you handed me the sun

Brought to me as a gift

Baby, you’re the one.

I want to be your habit

I want to be your vice

I want to lose myself inside you

Be the reflection in your eyes.

I want to be

I want to be

I want to be your habit

I want to be your vice

I want to lose myself inside you

Be the reflection in your eyes.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I just sat there, silent and still. What in the hell did I do in my lifetime to deserve this amazing man? What made him love me the way he did? My mom squeezed my hand, pounded it a little on my leg, then stood and walked toward Calon.

“You’re a keeper, Calon Ridge. Don’t you hurt my girl, you hear me?” She nodded slightly.

“Never in a million years, Mrs. Mowry. Not ever.” His eyes landed on mine as he said it.

“I love my bracelet, Calon.”

“I love you, Becki.”

“Absolute,” we said it in unison. We were so corny, and I didn’t care.

“SO, HOW DOES
this thing work?” I was so nervous I could puke. Becki looked down at our clasped hands in her lap and then back up at me. I hated the way doctor’s offices and hospitals smelled. You’d think with all the medical miracles, someone could create an air freshener than didn’t strike fear into the hearts of its patients.

“I have no idea, Calon. I’ve never done this before.” She smiled a flawless but nervous smile.

“You didn’t look it up or Google it or anything?” My knee bounced up and down, which made the waiting room chair squeak. Becki reached out and stopped my leg as she shook her head. “You didn’t? You’re going in there blind?”

“Not blind, Calon. I’ve seen people having ultrasounds on TV shows. I know it doesn’t hurt, and that’s all I care about. I want to get through this entire pregnancy with as little pain as possible. I don’t do physical pain very well.”

“Um, Becks, I’m pretty sure a twelve pound baby coming out of your… you know… will hurt.”

“First of all, I highly doubt I will be having a twelve pound baby, and it’s called a vagina, Calon. Say it with me, vuh-jy-nuh. Vagina.” She said the second half of her little corrective speech way louder than I would have liked. The snickering I heard from the other women in the waiting room made me more than a little uncomfortable.

“You’re Calon Ridge, right?” A very pregnant young woman, not much older than Becki, stood directly in front of me. She was so close that standing up wasn’t even an option for me. If I tried, I’d hit her belly, and she’d topple backwards. So, I spoke to her from my seat, which made me even more uncomfortable than I was during the vagina dialogue.

“I am. And you are?” I smiled and put my hand out to shake hers. I hoped she couldn’t feel me shaking.

“Violet, nice of you to remember. We met about, oh, I don’t know, about seven months ago.” She patted her belly and raised one eyebrow. Becki sucked in a breath and squeezed my hand. My throat slammed closed. Violet burst out laughing and held her belly with both hands. “I’m totally joking! Oh my word, that was so funny I almost peed myself.”

“Nice.” Becki was never one to hold back when someone pissed her off. “So, can we help you with something?” She motioned toward how close Violet stood to us.

“I just wanted to get your autograph and tell you how much I love your music.” She completely ignored Becki and handed me a Rolling Stone Magazine turned to the page with a very small piece on West Coast bands. She pointed to a black and white photo of our band in action at The Moondance.

I took the magazine and the pen she’d handed me and scribbled my name across the photo then smiled and handed everything back to her. “It was nice to meet you, Violet.”

“Becki Mowry?” A nurse clad in scrubs with little cartoon babies all over them stood holding a chart at the doorway that led to the exam rooms. Violet took a step back when the nurse looked in our direction.

“Excuse us.” Becki stood and took my hand. She spoke with a smile, but there was a definite undertone of annoyance in her voice.

Once in the room, the nurse did all the vitals then told Becki to strip from the waist up and handed her a hideous hospital gown. The door shut, and Becki whipped off her top and bra and then slid her arms through the way-too-wide arm holes.

“You’re not picky, are you?”

“Huh?” She turned in two full circles, looking over her shoulder as she tried to find the other string to tie her gown shut.

“You didn’t even know her name.” I shook my head, feigned disappointment, and grabbed the ties she couldn’t find and tied them.

“What the hell, Calon? Just talk. I’m too nervous to translate your riddles.” She huffed and sat up on the exam table. Her feet swinging with nervous energy.

“I just meant, you didn’t know that nurse for longer than a couple minutes and you took your bra off with no hesitation. Never mind, it was a joke.” I stood and walked over between her knees, I reached down and placed my hands firmly on her calves to stop her legs and calm her nerves. As I rubbed the tense muscles in her legs, her eyes rolled back in her head, and she moaned. It was a familiar enough sound that my dick did a little jump, thinking it was go time. Unfortunately, the sterile smell of a doctor’s office just didn’t do it for me, so Walter quickly went back to sleep.

“I guess I’m just easy like that when I’m pregnant.” She smiled and leaned forward until her forehead touched my chest. She breathed in a very slow, deep breath.

“What are you thinking?” I ran my fingers through her hair and realized how much it had grown in four months of pregnancy. It was surreal that we were just shy of being half way to the due date. Not finding out until Becki was already three months pregnant cheated us out of the full nine months to prepare.