Abram's Daughters 03 The Sacrifice (35 page)

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Ooon the daily routine Monday washday, Tuesday ironing nnd cleaning took precedence as the newness of Sadie's return began to wear off, at least for Leah. Lydiann, on the other hand, was rather taken with Sadie and followed her wound the house incessantly, Leah noticed.

Early Wednesday morning, while Leah was still making the bed in her room, a firm knock came at the door. "Who's there?" she called, reckoning who it might be.

"It's Sadie."*

Stopping what she was doing, Leah moved toward the door and opened it slowly.

Before her stood her sister, the blue gone from her eyes, washed away by tears. "May I come in?" she asked.

"If it's important enough for you to be cryin', then I 'spect we ought to go outside," she surprised herself by saying. Honestly, she didn't much care to hear Sadie tell of her widowed sorrow, not in the privacy of Leah's bedroom. Not this nearsacred place where Mamma had given up her life for Abe .. . and where Leah had made her important promise.

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"I'm not meanin' to box your ears," Sadie said suddenly "But the way ya talk, you'd think we were gonna have ii mil between us."

Leah hadn't meant to be reckless with her words. "I'll

meet you out front, where we can speak plainly without lu-ln' overheard."

Sadie frowned, seemingly surprised. "All right, then."

Leah closed her door. She took her time finishing up 11 if bed making, even set the green shades straight, eyeing tlinn carefully so they each matched in length across the three win dows on the side facing the woods. All this before ever k\iv ing the house to meet Sadie. ^

"Truth be told, you act like you wish I'd stayed away f( >i ever," Sadie said when they were alone amidst the trees mi the rolling front lawn. "And don't be sayin' otherwise."

There was nothing to add, really. Leah felt if she couldn'i say anything nice, she ought not to say anything at all.

"What's wrong, Leah? Why do you seem to detest me/"

She filled her lungs with air. "Best not talk 'bout it, I'm thinkin'."

"Why? Does it annoy you that I assumed you were married to Smithy Gid? If so, I was only saying what Jonas told m<- years back."

"He told you that?" She was as bewildered now as she hi id been the day his strange letter arrived, followed by total silence once she promptly responded, writing him the truth.

"Several times, jah." : ; :,'

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^H\ui there was nothing tender between Gid and me, 'least I^Hvlulc 1 was engaged to Jonas." She paused. "Are you f^HniluTin' things correctly did Jonas really say that?" ^B}Vhy, sure he did. Even his father confirmed to Jonas that

|^^Bvas sweet on you, that Dat had given his blessing for him

^^Burl' you. All this while you were betrothed to Jonas just

^^B>was completing his carpentry apprenticeship and prepar-

^^g travel home for your wedding."

^^H@ this was what Peter Mast and Dat had secretly dis-

^^Hcl the two of them had destroyed her future with Jonas!

^^Fnmkly," Sadie went on, "at the time, I found it down-

^^H Hlirprisin', but I assumed you'd decided to follow Dat's

^^Bn in the end and marry Gid instead."

^^BThal's ridiculous. You of all people knew how much I

^m Jonas!"

^H*]!ih, 1 thought I knew that, but I was altogether befuddled

^^H) I saw you and Gid holdin' hands in the woods that day

^Hgot yourself lost up there. Remember?"

^H'You saw what?" She couldn't believe her ears. Sadie was

Tin the he%d!

I Her sister went on, describing the day Gid had gone in

I ni'h of Leah, at Mamma's urging. Sadie told how she herself

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|l< "I tfone into the forest, up to the low stone wall rimming nit Lizzie's log house. "Smithy Gid and you were holding in 'mis and laughin' together. I saw it with my own eyes, so h, m can't deny it."

"You must've told this to Jonas," Leah said, not recalling I In* himd-holding incident whatsoever. "You made me look lltilnithful . . . was that what you did?"

Sadie shook her head, blinking back tears. "I simply told

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him once he asked what I knew 'bout Gid, and only after thai You must believe me, Leah. He'd heard, but not from me, tlmi you'd gone to a summertime singing in our barn where you'd linked up with Gid, then walked home with him through I he cornfield."

Again, she was wholly baffled. "I believe I recall that eve ning, but Adah and I went together to the singing. She and I, along with Gid the three of us walked over to the Peach eys' afterward . . . innocent as the day is long."

Sadie touched her elbow. "Ach, Leah, I don't care to brini; up the past. That's not why I say these things. I only won dered why you hadn't married Smithy Gid after Jonas am I I had believed it so strongly."

They were still for a moment as the sun rose higlin through the trees from its dawning place. "I s'pose there's nothin' to be gained by rehashing all this," Leah said, gmp pling with her own words. "We oughta be thinking of you now, sister. Your needs . . . your great loss." She looked at lief brokenhearted sister, sharing the intense sorrow. "How sad lo have lost Jonas that way in the silo accident. I feel right sorry for you . . . him so young and all."

A shadow swept over Sadie's face. "Didja say . . . Jonas/"

Leah nodded, unable to go on, wishing not to visualize 11 ie fatal fall from such a height.

Sadie shook her head slowly. "Oh, Leah ... no wonder, You're sadly mistaken. I haven't seen Jonas in years."

Leah's breath bounded out of her lungs. What on earth . , , how can this be? "You mean you didn't . . . you never married Jonas at all?" She held herself around the middle, thinking she might be sick then and there.

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I Shaking her head, Sadie appeared as flabbergasted as Leah ill. "Why, no. I married Harvey Hochstetler . . . from Indium-" Sadie began to explain how Jonas had taken care to tfiriend her after she'd shared with him the tale of her wild PUinschpringe. He had gone so far as to begin to date her, ''iolcly out of a sense of duty, not love. He and I went our M'pnrate ways the following spring, after I met a boy named Mm Graber, who introduced me to Harvey."

"And what of Jonas? Where is he?" :.

Sadie shook her head sadly. "I don't know." "When was the last you heard of him? Where was he

11ifii?" She felt nearly panic-stricken, suddenly aware of the liniTkl string of deceit coupled with misunderstandings. I Inspeakable, for sure and for certain.

"I last saw Jonas in Millersburg. He was preparing to mi >ve, though he never said just where. I assumed he was hoplni; to set up his own carpentry shop somewhere in Ohio, but

I tiin't be sure." Sadie went on. "Bein' shunned ruined his life, In- said. It changed everything . . . made it impossible for him in continue his ties with his family and friends. Jonas once

I1 'Id me he felt like a man without a country. I surely underi"od that."

"So he just disappeared ... is that what you're sayin'?" Iriih sat right down in the grass, her legs incapable of supporting her. She held her hands over her heart, no longer able to deny her tears. "Oh, Sadie, I can't bear to hear any more," *lu> cried. "Please stop. I ... loved him so."

Sadie knelt next to her, wrapping her arms around her. "I'm sorry for comin' between you and Jonas," she whispered, leaning her head against Leah's. "I should've known you and

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Smithy Gid were merely good friends. I shoulJ've : known. ..." |

Like a breeze blowing the memory of that day gently h;n k,| the treacherous hike out of the deepest part of the wi >di j became clear in Leah's mind. She recalled well-meaning Utsfj reaching for her hand several times, steadying her when shf j felt nearly too weak to walk, having strayed through thff immense tangle of the woods, wandering for hours. He hafilj merely protected her as a big brother. Nothing more. 1

But there were no words now to speak the truth of it l:fl; Sadie. Instead, she wept in her big sister's arms for the IonH years, for her resentment toward Sadie, who had been caughtj in a maze of misconceptions. Her heart ached, as well, for ihif long-ago sweetheart she would never see again. Dear Jonas. , r gone forever. Leah felt as if her very life was being driven from her. i

Whispering now, Sadie said, "Do you remember wluiti Mamma used to tell us? 'God knows the end from the begin*!ning.'" j

How on earth could the Lord God know such a thing, iisi Mamma had ofttimes said, and yet allow what had happened lu] take placel The end from the beginning. Leah had missed being 1Jonas's loving wife by a series of errors. Nothing more.

After a time, when the sadness and disbelief had spillnl j forth in a great veil of tears Sadie comforting her through i|j all Leah dried her eyes and kissed her sister. "The grapeviu^f had it all wrong 'bout you and Jonas," Leah said softly, sfila puzzled by the absolute certainty of the news they'd receivafj over the years. t

Sadie spoke up, attesting to the fickleness of gossip. "No j

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wonder you've despised tittle-tattle your whole life," she u'liiiiikcd, to which Leah could only nod her throbbing head.

rIi)i:i-rher, the two of them rose slowly and walked hand in hflrul I < ward the house. Sadie's return is both an end and a begin' illnjt j<"' ws all, Leah thought, hoping it would be so when all i. -.:iKl and done. She was mindful to breathe deeply, willing Im i headache away. The children would be hungry for breaki ' i .null, and she must wear a smile for them.

Hnl it was Sadie who was smiling broadly now. "What do , ' .iy i! I help Dat and Lydiann with the milkin' from here

ii i .ill :'

"Well, now, are ya sure, sister?"

"That's one chore you should never have to do again. Alici all these years."

I rah was surprised but pleased. "Sounds quite all right to in. I'll be glad to cook breakfast and pack the children's lunch pails." With Sadie's offer to do the milking chores, I rah realized they'd reversed roles from childhood. Not only I luil, hut she and Sadie were both single women, without husIlitinIs or hope of any. Together under the same roof, she tlit >iij'lii", finding the notion almost humorous in a strange sort til way, recalling the saying, "Too many cooks spoil the hinih."

With that she carried stacked firewood for the cook stove

IIill11 he kitchen, where she was met by the sound of Lydiann's cKpivssive voice. Sitting at the table, Lydiann carefully pracIII'ell I he poem she was expected to recite at school today.

"'My Father, what am I that all Thy mercies sweet, like Miiuli^hl- fall so constant o'er my way? That thy great love

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should shelter me, and guide my steps so tenderly thnnii'h every changing day?'"

Leah could not simply stand there and overhear the iniili of the rhymed verse, spoken so clearly by her young chiifr Honestly, she couldn't help herself; she smiled. Quickly pu.-.li ing the wood into the belly of the stove, she hurried in Lydiann's side. "God's mercies are new every morning, iim'i so?" she found herself saying as she slipped her arm an mini her.

Looking up at her with shining eyes, Lydiann said, "Yum must've heard me sayin' my poem, Mamma."

"Indeed I did, and I hope you never forget those piiiy words, 'cause they're ever so true." Leah's heart was filial anew with love for her dear ones. She kissed her girl's Ionhead and rose to make pancakes, eager for this shining new day.

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h' nearly Christmastide again, and Hannah continues to

i'iiy about her new little one coming so close to Abe's sev'

Mill birthday Mamma's going-to-Glory date. I wish she

mil I Must the Good Lord more. Fortunately Sadie's home-

'iiHii|4 has seemed to help Hannah some. Actually, all of us

" I >ri ler in spirit since Sadie's return to Gobbler's Knob.

I i;ii and I had a much-needed talk following her return. I1.; 'ill I nut and befuddled, I expressed my disappointment over iIm ink' he had played in Jonas's and my breakup. His keen l> -iic lor Smithy Gid "to have his chance" was the culprit. . . iIn uiie and only motivation for my father's deception. Ever . > adamant about my choice of a mate, he sadly shared with

11if i bat he had lost his head to dogged aspiration, and one \vii >ng turn had simply led to another. In the end, Dat pleaded my pardon, and I surrendered to his open arms, with a clearer pii lure of the past. Some might say I have every right to carry ,i grudge, but an unforgiving spirit eventually destroys the mil, and I have better things to do.

This week Dat and Smithy Peachey are out chopping

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wood with a group of other men, filling up the woodshed-, round Gobbler's Knob while the women folk have been swap ping dozens of cookies and recipes, everything from snowball1, and coconut cookies to snickerdoodles and whoopie pies.

I try never to think of Jonas any longer. Knowing him, he's happily married and busy with his carpentry work, wiih plenty of little mouths to feed. I have to admit I'm glad In didn't end up with Sadie, because then, who knows, he might've been helping to build that silo, same as Harvey " Hochstetler was the day he died. Who's to know really, excepi f the Lord. He knows the end from the beginning and sees 4 Jonas Mast and his dear ones wherever they are. 'Tis not Im* i me to ponder. j

The gray pallor of grief has flown away; I know this to In1 true. There was a spring in my step early this morning as I 1 donned my boots and trudged through the snow to scalier I feed for the small birds that stay with us during winter. While J out in the crisp air, I noticed the hydrangea bushes bare J against the side of the house. How Mamma loved their color- J ful summertime clusters! Yet each autumn they shed their j pretty pink blossoms, and next year's buds lie dormant on the j bough, waiting to burst forth and bloom again. I

As for Aunt Lizzie's remark to me in the woods, I'm mak- 1 ing a conscious effort to keep my eyes off myself and whai I had viewed as a rather bleak future as a maidel, once Lydiann and Abe are grown, that is. I'm looking more compassionately on Sadie helping her walk through yet another Proving I because of our severe bishop. He's setting her up as an exam- i pie for other young people, just as she always worried he ! would.