Absolutely True Lies (28 page)

“Yeah,” I shouted back. “I know all about you and Faith. Did she get a wrinkle or a gray hair and you just decided you needed to move on to some college freshman?”

“What?” Jamie looked genuinely confused. “I didn’t leave Faith. She left me. I wanted her to leave Deacon, marry me. . . . But she said it was just a ‘business relationship’ and that if I wanted more I had to go somewhere else. She didn’t even care about me. Two years and she didn’t give a crap about anything but sex.”

That was the first red flag. But I still wasn’t convinced. “You’d say anything to get my help. But Faith’s a sweet person, she’d never intentionally hurt someone. I’m sure she cared about you. I know it.”

Jamie stared at me in disbelief. It was that are-you-really-this-­stupid look again. “You think
I’m
the wizard behind the curtain?” He laughed, a loud, booming, staccato sound. “Hols, I gave you more credit than that. Faith doesn’t care about you or me or anybody else. I’m not even sure she really loves Daisy. What she loves—what she
craves
—is the money and power. Do you really think a ten-year-old Daisy was just dying to leave her friends and move halfway across the country to work twelve hours a day? That was Faith’s dream, and she hasn’t let anyone stand in her way.”

I thought back to our conversation earlier, when Faith hadn’t wanted to hear a single thing about my own life. I’d thought we were becoming friends, but I’d been firmly put in my place. A large rupture formed in my confidence and trust in Faith. But I wasn’t about to believe that Jamie was just some poor, innocent Hollywood lamb unwillingly led to the slaughter. “You’re all disgusting.”

“Fine. I’ll take some of your disgust as long as you acknowledge that a lot of it goes back to the evil queen.”

At that moment, Ben opened the door and stepped out onto the stoop. “I saw your car pull up a few minutes ago. Is everything okay?” I saw him throw a warning look at Jamie.

“I was just going, Benji,” Jamie said just loud enough to be heard. Then to me he added, “You know what, you don’t have to advocate for me. Maybe the biggest help is keeping me away from all of those bloodsuckers.”

“I’m sorry things turned out this way.” I was astonished to realize that I meant it.

Jamie nodded and started to back toward his car. “Just don’t trust them, Hols. If they have to—hell, even if they just get bored one day—they’ll hang you out to dry, too. They do it to everyone eventually.”

I was so upset I didn’t even watch Jamie leave. Instead, I just ran up the stairs and disappeared into Ben’s apartment. Unfortunately, it wasn’t twenty minutes later that another large crack formed in my camaraderie with Faith; as Ben and I opened up the computer, attached to the invoice was a note that read, “Don’t worry, we’ll just take this out of your check.”

To which Ben replied, “Did you ask for a five-thousand-dollar computer?”

•  •  •

I
tried to give Faith time to figure out her financial situation, but by Friday of the next week, I was down to twenty-six dollars in cash. Yes, I had the credit card, but I didn’t think it was appropriate to just go around charging my personal life to the Dixsons. I also had the feeling my purchases were now being tallied and would be deducted from my total fee. So I only used the card for gas and related work expenses and all too quickly burned through my leftover per diem. My patience officially ran out at 10:00
A.M.
on Friday, when she pulled up in front of the rehab center in a brand-new Bentley Mulsanne.

“Isn’t it gorgeous? And the dealer gave it to me for six grand a month, can you believe it?” I stood there, dumbfounded, as she swatted me playfully on the arm. “After everything that’s happened, I thought I deserved a toy. Do you think I should get Daisy one as a reward when she finishes rehab? Or do you think she’d like the Azure more?”

“I have less than thirty dollars to my name and you just bought a
Bentley
?”

Faith blinked up at me innocently. “Well, thirty thousand isn’t a lot, but it should be enough for you to get by until I can free up some money.”

All of Jamie’s words came rushing back. In the last two months, I’d had lots of reasons to hate these people. But never before had
I been so furious that I felt like I might black out at any moment. They’d left me in Miami, nearly convinced my mother (and the rest of the world) that I was a slutty alcoholic, wasted endless hours of my time, and had now left me with two tens, a five, and a one-­dollar bill. I’d managed to convince myself that it was out of necessity, that Faith ultimately had my best interest at heart. But now, with the black metallic Bentley gleaming in the California sunshine, I realized that Jamie was right—I meant nothing to them. It took every ounce of my strength not to burst into tears. The Dixsons had basically turned my life inside out.

“I don’t have thirty thousand dollars, I have thirty
dollars
. And a nearly seven-thousand-dollar credit card bill that is entirely expenses from this work I’m doing for you. I’m scrimping and saving every last cent so that you can go out and blow hundreds of thousands of dollars on a hunk of metal that you’ll think is out of style in eight months.”

“I think you’re just a little tired and so you’re overreacting,” Faith said in her best mom voice. “No one can live on thirty dollars, Holly.”

“You’re right, they can’t!” I said, barely holding back the flood of tears. “How much do you think I make a year? You’re my employer and you haven’t paid me in two months! How much do you think I have left after that?”

“I hadn’t thought about it.” Her tone was shifting, the sweet veneer beginning to wear away and the true Faith reemerging.

I’d only just arrived, but I pulled out the keys to the Navigator. “I’m done working until you pay me.”

Faith seemed too surprised to move. She stood there and watched me walk back to the Lincoln, not speaking until I’d already unlocked the driver door. “Holly? Holly, sweetheart . . .” She quickly switched back to her mom tone, but it was too late.

I paused for just a second, looking at Faith over the roof of the car. I couldn’t walk back toward her because I didn’t trust myself not to punch my boss in the face. “Yes?”

“Um, would it help if I bought you lunch? We can sit down and talk it all out. You know the café here—”

“Good-bye, Faith,” I yelled, climbing into the car.

I made it exactly two exits on the 405 before I started sobbing hysterically. Traffic was heavy enough that my emotional waterfall didn’t inhibit my driving too much, but I did get a number of very strange looks from the occupants of nearby cars. As though no one’s ever had a breakdown during rush hour before.

I’d just reached L.A. County when my phone rang. Thinking it was probably Faith, ready to apologize, I plugged in my headset and answered without looking at the caller ID. The car apparently had Bluetooth, but I hadn’t figured out how to link my phone.

“Hello?” I said, sniffling. I quickly wiped my nose on my sleeve so that she’d be less likely to notice I’d been crying.

“Holly? Baby?” The universe really did hate me. The only person I wanted to talk to less than Faith was my mother. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine, Mom,” I lied. “But it’s not the best time.”

“You’re not fine. You’ve been crying. Holly Ann, you may have moved to the other side of the country, but I still know you better than anyone else.”

Do you?
I wanted to ask. “I’m having a bad day.”

“No matter what it is, you can tell me. Even if you really are pregnant, I’ll understand. I promise.”

I was prepared for nagging or judgment, but I wasn’t prepared for that. I burst into tears, my sobs loud and ugly. My mother didn’t speak, she remained silent and let me finish. “I’m not pregnant, Mom. I would have told you. It’s these people I’m working for.”

I had just given her another huge opening for judgment, but to my surprise, she didn’t take it. “Camille doesn’t like them much. We’ve both been worried about you. Is there anything I can do? I think Great-Aunt Linda is married to an attorney.”

Hearing this, I started to laugh. It was part laugh, part cry, and
I’m sure I sounded like a crazy person. “I’ve never needed a lawyer before.” My mother’s words were so uncharacteristically sweet, I didn’t want to point out that a New York lawyer probably hadn’t passed the bar in California.

“You have to protect yourself,” she said, repeating her earlier warning to me. “I know you always want to see the good in people—it’s one of your best qualities—but most people are only looking out for themselves.”

“They’re awful. Every one of them. I’ve made such a mess of things and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Tell me all about it,” my mother said. “I don’t know much about these things, but I’m here to listen and give whatever advice I can.”

This made me cry even harder. I couldn’t speak for almost a minute. “I can’t, Mom. I have a contract that says I could be sued if I even told you who I was working with. You only know because it’s been all over the television. They think of everything.”

My mother may not be well educated, but she does have a set of smarts all her own. “But if it’s as bad as you say, wouldn’t they already have broken that contract? I don’t think you have to listen to them anymore.”

I thought back to that contract I’d spent an hour reading. At the time, I’d only done it out of excitement. I hadn’t considered that we’d even get this far in the process, let alone that one of the clauses might have to be executed. I remembered the fee schedule and agreement that I would incur no expenses of my own. The Dixsons had breached the contract almost from the very beginning. My problem now was that I didn’t know what to do about it. I tried to think about Great-Aunt Linda’s new husband, but I remembered quickly that he was an actuary, not an attorney. So I didn’t even have anyone to call for a recommendation.

“It seems to me they’re in more trouble than you,” my mother continued. “I don’t think that little girl can handle much more bad press.”

I wondered if that was true. Daisy looked so bad already I couldn’t imagine that a contract dispute would add that much fuel to the fire. “I don’t want to go to the press. I couldn’t do that. I just want to finish this job and get the money I’m owed.”

“Sometimes in life, we have to do things that are against our character,” my mom told me. “We do our best to be good, moral people, but there’s only so much a good person can take.”

Not that anyone would ever write a biography of me, but if they did, my current working title was “Only So Much a Good Person Can Take.” “Thanks, Mom,” I said, and I meant it. I felt considerably better than at the beginning of our phone call, and that wasn’t something I often said after talking with my mother. “I really thought you were going to say ‘I told you so.’ ”

“I know you think I’m hard on you, Holly. But I only want the best for you. No matter what that is.”

That got me choked up again. “I’d better go,” I said, trying to keep my endless tears at bay. My mother can handle a lot of things, but sentimentality is not one of them. “I’ll call you over the weekend and let you know how things are going.”

“All right, Holly. Bye bye.”

My mother didn’t say “I love you,” but I didn’t need her to just then. I understood, perhaps for the first time in my life, that she didn’t need to say it to feel it. It was a sharp contrast to Faith, who was always so effusive but probably meant little of it. I thought back to Jamie questioning if Faith even loved Daisy and considered that he might be right.

By this point, I hadn’t moved so much as an inch in the last two minutes. The weight of the last few days overwhelmed me and I started to sob again. I didn’t realize how loud I was—with the windows down—until a Kleenex was handed to me from a neighboring car. Surprised, I looked up to see a teenage girl smiling at me sympathetically.

“What did your mom do?” she asked.

I gratefully took the tissue and blew my nose. “She was right.” At least there are some decent people left in this world.

“Ugh,” the girl said, shaking her head. “That’s the worst.”

•  •  •

W
ithout intending to, I ended up at Ben’s front door. I was still taking our relationship one day at a time, but I can honestly say my first thought when leaving Dana Point was that I really wanted to give him a hug. That had to be a good sign. I couldn’t remember if he was working today, so I was relieved when he answered after just a couple of knocks.

“I thought you were working with Daisy today,” he said, smiling down at me warmly.

It was a powerful thing, knowing someone was always so genuinely glad to see me. I reached up and put my arms around his neck, gently pushing him back into the apartment.

“I didn’t come here to talk.”

I closed the door with my foot, wondering if the picture would make it onto any of those gossip sites for Vaughn to see. I almost hoped it did.

•  •  •

A
lady never kisses and tells, but I will say that I never made it back home that night. And lest you think I’m an animal abuser, I’d already fed Smitty that day and the Dixsons’ house manager promised to look in on him. Because I couldn’t take any more bad news, I’d turned my phone off just before walking up to Ben’s, so I missed the apologetic message from Faith that came in just after 5:00
P.M.
She said she still couldn’t cover my total salary, but that she’d put enough in my bank account to cover “certain expenses.”

The next morning, I was momentarily stymied by the message until I remembered that my bank account information was listed on the contract I’d signed with Jamie, in case they decided to wire
the money over. I was half-asleep and clad only in one of Ben’s gargantuan football T-shirts when I called the automated bank number to hear my balance.

I gasped loudly as the tinny, mechanical voice told me I had eighty-five hundred dollars. Maybe I wouldn’t need a lawyer after all.

Ben stepped out of the bedroom, holding a pile of clothes. “You’re a slob, you do know that, right? I swear, you leave a trail of dirty clothes behind you everywhere you go.” He stopped short, seeing the look on my face. “Is everything all right?”