Accepted Fate (28 page)

Nerves are starting to take their toll as it's getting closer to the time I've spent all day preparing for. He opens my door and stops in the doorway. For the first time since he picked me up, he breaks eye contact, to look around the room. He smiles and looks back at me. "This room is fitting for you," he says.

Walking me inside, he lays me down carefully on the bed. He is so gentle with me; like he could break me if too rough. "It smells really good in here. I feel like I could go to sleep." I smile because sleeping is not on the agenda for tonight. I have the rest of my life to sleep. I don't have the rest of my life to spend in his arms.

I scoot backwards on the bed seductively. He watches me in amusement before he gets on the bed himself, knees first. "We won't be sleeping anytime soon." I say.

He crawls on his hands and knees until he is straddling me at the head of the bed. "What did you have in mind?"

"A little of this and a little of that." I tease, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and pulling him towards me. "I guess you'll just have to wait and see." I kiss his lips, hungry for his taste. I don't know what has gotten into me. I have gone from never kissing a boy to craving it, or him, in a matter of days.

I'm not sure how long we have been laying here kissing but a low growl radiates from his throat as he rubs himself against me, picking up pace. I can feel his need pressing between my legs as he lowers himself closer to me. I had a movie planned, but it can wait. I don't care about the movie anymore. I just want to feel him in every way possible. I am ready to move forward; more so than I'll ever be.

I sit up, pushing him back slightly so he is holding his weight on his knees, resting on his heels. He rubs his hands over his face. I can tell he thinks he's gone too far. "I'm sorry. I'm really trying not to maul you like a bear. You're too damn sexy. I can't help myself," he says in frustration.

I press my index finger over his lips to stop him from talking. I raise my arms above my head to get my point across. His eyes widen in response as he bites his lower lip. "Kinzleigh, you don't have to feel pressured to do anything. I'm okay with just kissing or doing nothing at all," he says.

"Would you shut up already? You can leave the good boy act behind for a while. I need the sexy Breyson to come out and play. Are you going to undress me or continue talking?" That was all it took and he moans. Oh that voice does things to me that should be illegal. I still am not used to all these emotions and feelings roaming free throughout my mind and body. It leaves me feeling frustrated each time we stop kissing.

He grabs the bottom of my shirt and slowly pulls it upward and over my head. It's dark outside and the only lighting is the soft flicker of the candlelight around the room and the dim glow from my string lights above my bed. It accentuates him, making him sexier than in the full light, if that's even possible. Tossing my shirt onto the floor beside my bed, he leans in and kisses me. His taste is like an aphrodisiac and I deepen the kiss.

I run my hands along the band of his jeans unsure of what to do next. Do I tell him what I want or just unbutton his jeans? He has the slightest trail of hair running from his navel and disappears under his jeans, tickling the back of my hand. His body is so hard and defined against the knuckles of my fingers. I lightly caress my fingertips around to his back, and up the seam of his spine, underneath his shirt but dragging it with me. I can feel goosebumps form beneath my touch. Once I reach underneath his arms, he breaks free from my lips and grabs it by the back collar, pulling it over his head and throwing it aside. He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I know it's not the most masculine way to describe a man but other words seem to fail me.

He looks down at my bra covered breasts. "Damn," he says bending down and kissing my cleavage. He runs his tongue over my perky breast and down the crevice between the two, leaving a thin film of saliva in its wake. Thank you Heather at Victoria's secret! He presses kisses in a line down my center stopping at the band of my pants. Grabbing my ankle in his hand, he pulls off my shoe, dropping it and does the same with the other foot.

Sliding his fingers beneath the waist band of my pants, he begins inching them down slowly. I lift my butt slightly so he can work them over my hips and down my legs. His breath hitches when he notices the rest of my hidden underwear. He sits back on his heels and raises my legs removing the remainder of my pants. Disposing of my pants, he releases my legs to the bed. His eyes travel up my body and stop once our eyes meet. "You're absolutely stunning and I haven't even gotten you naked yet."

He backs up to the foot of the bed and stands before me. He really makes them jeans look good. I cross my legs from the increased pressure and sensitivity that is taking place. I prop up on my elbows taking him in. When he notices what I'm doing, he smirks and begins unbuttoning his pants revealing the top band of his boxers. He removes his shoes and slides his pants down with his thumbs and steps out of them.

After removing his socks, he bends over towards the floor. My brows come together. "What are you doing?" He stands up holding out a condom. Now I feel stupid because that never crossed my mind. I just nod.

He instantly comes across the bed at record speed. Grabbing my waist he pulls me down so that I'm laying flat. "Hey, stop it. I know that look and there is no reason for you to feel embarrassed. I love your innocence. Stop thinking it's a bad thing. Okay?"

"Are you always this perceptive? I'm not sure if I like being read like a book."

He shakes his head. "Only with you." He leans down and presses his lips to mine. In one swift move he turns pulling me on top, straddling him. The feel of his body beneath mine only turns me on more. He makes me feel small and the way he looks at me sends an electrical sensation through my body that reminds me of the way a battery feels against your tongue.

Reaching behind me, he unclasps my bra and slides it off without ever breaking the kiss. He sits up, holding me in his lap. The closer we get, the more nervous I become. I don't really know what to expect. He places his palm against my cheek, rubbing his thumb lightly across my bottom lip. "Are you sure you want to do this? It's not too late to back out. You know I'll be gone tomorrow and we'll never see each other again."

I don't even have to think it over. I nod my head looking him in the eyes so he can tell it's the truth. "I am aware of the facts. I want you and I want to give to you the only thing I have to offer. I don't need to worry about tomorrow because all I need is tonight. You don't need to worry about me clinging to you; it's why I don't want to exchange numbers. I need nothing from you and you need nothing from me but right now. We're alike, you know? I will never let someone break me. The way I ensure that will never happen is to never give my heart to anyone else. I will not set myself up for failure. Nothing will stand in the way of my dreams. To answer your question in simpler terms, yes this is what I want. I have thought about it all week."

He smiles pressing his forehead to mine, "Where have you been all my life Kinzleigh Baker? It figures I would meet a girl version of myself and then never see you again." When he kisses me, the emotion behind that kiss is overwhelming.

Wrapping his arm around my back to hold me against him, he turns laying me back down against the bed. He unhooks the stockings from the garter and rolls each one, individually down my legs. He throws them over his shoulder and hooks each index finger inside the belt and my thong, pulling them down my legs in unison, until they are completely removed. I feel like I'm about to pass out from the nervousness. I've never been laid out bared like this before the eyes of someone.

I press my legs together, feeling vulnerable. He shakes his head at me, opening them at the knees. "I want to see you; all of you." I'm beginning to shake and it's not from being cold. I feel like I can barely breathe. I'm afraid of it being the onset of a panic attack. I look up at the ceiling in an attempt to calm down. He touches his hand under my breast where my heart is pounding excessively; my breath coming out in short bursts.

He comes to rest between my legs and kisses me softly. "Damn baby, you're shaking. Look at me." I look at him as he asked and he is directly above me looking down. He is holding himself off of me. "I won't do anything you don't want to do, okay? Just say the word and we'll stop." His voice is already calming me down.

"I'm okay. I'm just nervous." He leans to the side, holding his body on his left forearm and removes his boxers with his right hand. I look down at him as he searches for the condom on the bed. My eyes widen at the sight before me. Oh gosh. I start to panic all over again. I try to calm myself before he notices. I will not do this again. It's humiliating. I have never seen one before, except a few times when Presley has tried to show me a photo of one to tease me. I'm not sure what would be classified as big or small, but I'm pretty sure what I just witnessed was every boy's dream size. Now I'm starting to worry about the pain that Presley mentioned.

He pulls the condom wrapper between his teeth, tearing it at the edge. The word Magnum across the wrapper answers my question. Maybe it works like a needle; out of sight out of mind. I try to concentrate on him instead. He removes the condom from the wrapper and slightly unrolls it on the tip of his thumb. His hand disappears from my direct line of vision. He spreads my legs with his knee and rubs his finger down below; touching me in my most private spot. I can't even describe the way it feels as he slips one finger inside. "Damn, you're tight. It's snug on my finger and I'm a lot bigger. Are you sure you want to do this baby?"

I nod and grab him behind the head, pulling him down to kiss me. I never thought I would like to be called baby but something about it being from him makes it okay. "Just go slow. I don't know what I'm doing so it may not be that great for you." I always hear girl talks about guys favoring girls that know what they are doing in the bedroom.

"Are you really worried about it not being good for me?"

"Maybe, don't guys like the girl to be on top and all?"

He settles back directly above me looking me straight in the eyes. Grabbing my chin in his fingers, he angles my face to look at him. "Look at me. Anything you have heard from a girl about what guys like, forget it. Girls that get around are only used for one thing: convenience. A girl like you is what every guy dreams of." He kisses me from my forehead to my nose and down to my lips. I will never get used to the way I feel around him. It's a powerful emotion and a scary one. He kisses me soft and low, marking me his. No other kiss will ever come close in comparison. He moves one hand down my neck and over my breasts, leaving excitement visibly behind. Once his hand is no longer visible, I feel a round tip swirl in the area down below being rubbed up and down against me. This is it. It's hard to enjoy the kissing with all these stupid nerves.

Just then he pushes in slightly and releases my lips. That wasn't so bad. "You ready baby?" Ready? Ready for what?

"What do you mean? What did you just do?" He smiles and kisses my lips briefly.

"That was just the tip baby. Do you want me to stop?" I shake my head for him to continue. He grabs my lips in a hurry and before I have time to think he thrusts forward. I feel a tear. One word enters my mind: pain. A searing, burning pain. I want to cry and scream out but I will not let myself. I've never been great about enduring physical pain; just blocking out the emotional.

Once he has filled me to capacity, he stops and looks down at me. A tear trickles down each side of my face. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Do you want me to pull out?" He looks truly concerned but I can't think of anything but the pain. Oh the pain. It throbs with my pulse. He begins rubbing my hair. "Baby, talk to me. Hell, I'll stop."

Before he moves I grab his face and look him in the eyes. "No, just give me a minute. Okay?" He nods and wipes a tear from my face.

"I don't like seeing you in pain, Kinzleigh. This is messing with my head. It's not worth it if you're in pain. I can pull out." My body must be over the initial shock because the pain has worn down and has been replaced with desire to continue.

I grab his waist and hold him between my legs, spreading them wider to accommodate his size. "I'm fine Breyson; I just wasn't prepared for that amount of pain. I was warned but I didn't listen. It's not so bad now, but I need you to move. Sitting here isn't enough. I need friction." He scans my face, obviously trying to read my emotions. When he can tell that I'm serious, he starts to smile.

As he begins to thrust in and out, it starts to feel blissful. His eyes never stray from mine the entire time. "You feel so good. It's not going to take me long." I begin kissing him, memorizing the way his lips feel against mine. I'll never forget this day as long as I live. The sight before me will be forever branded in the banks of my memory. He places his hand between us as he continues; touching another private area with the tip of his thumb that I've heard of but never felt. "You remember the pool house baby?"

He picks up pace slightly, causing me to close my eyes. So that's how he did that? I nod. "Baby look at me. I want to see your pleasure when you go." I open my eyes at the feel of the circular motions as well as him penetrating me. The different types of feelings have me lost in a sense of euphoria. It's taking over my body and consuming my mind. "When you feel like that again baby, relax and let it go." His voice is mesmerizing and just like that the feeling from the pool house returns. I arch off the bed as the feeling takes over. It pulsates through my body.

I begin moaning uncontrollably. "Breyson." Everything is tightening and my body begins to shutter. It's like everything is going in slow motion.

"That's it baby. I can't hold out any longer. You're too tight." His voice comes out raspy and low. He thrusts in once more and stills. "Fuck you feel amazing." I run my fingers through his hair. He's breathing hard. I'm not ready for it to be over. For once, I'm terrified I'll never be the same after this. Maybe I'm not as strong as I think I am. I just want to feel his lips on mine. I always hide my emotions or block them out completely, but for this once I'm going to let him feel all of me.