Accepting Destiny (28 page)

Two hours later

“Arghhhhhh!!!!! Shit! Who decided women have to be the bearer of children! This shit is for the fucking birds!” I scream at my mother and Heather, as they each hold a hand.

“Easy, Al. It’s okay. Women do this every
day. You’re gonna be just fine,” My mother says, in an amazingly calm voice for a woman about to be a grandmother.

Jackson is standing next to the doctor who is hunkered between my legs, ripping me apart. I hate them both right now. Jackson mainly, cause he’s the one that put me in this situation in the first place.

“Drugs!! Where is that damn epidural?” I scream again.

My doctor looks up at me from between my spread legs and politely tells me that there is no time for an epidural. I’m nine centimeters dilated and one hundred percent effaced. This baby is coming now, whether I like it or not.

Jackson is standing there bug eyed and just about to pass out from whatever grossness he’s looking at between my legs. Yeah, I know. He’s seen it before, but this time it’s angry, like me.

“You’re doing great, sweet girl. Just breathe and try and relax
,” He tells me calmly and quietly.

“Relax! Are you fucking kidding me? Arghhhhh!!”

“Alexandra Louise Bentley, you watch your mouth. You may be married and having a baby, but you’re still my daughter and I will not hesitate to wash your mouth out with soap,” my mother tells me, as she squeezes my hand a little too hard.

“Ouch! Easy on the grip mom. I got enough going on here without having to deal with broken fingers too!” I snip back at her and then glare at Jack. “You’re telling me to relax while I’m trying to push a watermelon out a whole the size of a lemon! I’d like to see you try it, Mister Bentley!”

I know I’m being a bitch, but this shit hurts. Next time I’ll get here early enough for drugs! Wait, no way in hell I’m doing this again. Mom will just have to settle for one grandchild.

“Alexandra, I need you to re
lax as best you can and breathe,” the doctor says. “At the count of three, you’re going to begin pushing. When I say push, I want you to push like you’re going to the bathroom. When I say stop, relax. Got it?”

I nod at him, because a contraction is taking over my senses. “One...two...three, push!”

And I bare down like I haven’t taken a shit in four days. Damn that hurts!!

“Okay, stop. Take a deep breath and get ready. One.....two...three...push!!”

I hunker down again, screaming my brains out while I do it. I catch a peek at Jackson and he is turning green, but he’s holding it in. I know he’s about to barf, because I am. “Don’t you puke between my legs, Jackson!”

His eyes dart back up to mine and his color comes back a little, a smirk curls his lips.

“Okay, Alexandra. One more time. The baby’s head is crowning so this may be the last push. Ready? One....two...three...push!” I press down like my life is depending on it. With one last scream, the sounds of a baby crying fill the room. My mom lets go of my hand and brushes a tear from her face.

“Oh, Ally. You did so well!! The baby is beautiful!”

Not sure how she can tell at this point, because she’s still standing next to me, but peering over my bent thighs while the doctor sucks the gunk out of the baby’s eyes, ears and mouth. The sound of sucking and crying overwhelm me, and then I realize it’s me crying.

I look up and Jackson is holding our bouncing baby girl, Isabella Marie Bentley. Dark curly hair covers her head and I wonder immediately where that came from, cause mine is straight as a b
oard. “My mother had curly hair,” Jackson says as a tear streams down his face.

I’ve never been able to handle men crying and seeing this causes me to totally lose it. He places a gentle kiss on her forehead and sets her down in my arms. I’m holding my baby girl for the first time and it feels so surreal. Two and half years ago, I would have never thought I would be married and a mother. My life has changed so much in that time.

Jackson sits down on the bed next to me and strokes Izzy’s soft cheek, still pink and a little gooey, but he doesn’t seem to care.

“Jackson, would you like to cut the cord?” The doctor asks.

A flash of fear flashes cross his eyes. “Umm, I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to hurt Ally.”

“Nonsense, there are no nerves in the cord, Mr. Bentley. She won’t feel it.”

“I’ll pass, thanks,” he says, as his skin turns a bit green again, but flushes pink as soon as he looks back at his baby girl.

“Alexandra, you amaze me. You just gave me the second greates
t gift I could have ever wanted,” he whispers in my ear.

“Second greatest gift? What’s the first?”

“You, my sweet Alexandra. You are the most precious thing to me and I am so thankful you stopped running and allowed us to happen. I am the proudest man in the world.” And he kisses me on the cheek.

“Let’s measure the baby, Ally,” a
nurse says, as she takes Isabella from my arms. I immediately feel the loss of her, but watch intently as they lay her on the scale. “Eight pounds, twelve ounces.”

“Wow, no won
der I gained thirty five pounds,” I chuckle.

“And, she’s twenty one inches long. Gonna be a tall girl.” The nurse continues as they give her a sponge bath and get a diaper on her.

Once the doctor has me all cleaned and stitched up, I’m wheeled to a private room and the baby is taken to the nursery. It’s three o’clock in the morning and I’m totally exhausted. I snuggle in to the bed as best I can with these stupid fishnet panties filled with an ice pack in my crotch. Jackson curls in to the chair next to me and closes his eyes. “You can go home, Jackson. They won’t bring her in until morning. You’re exhausted and need to rest. The next few weeks are going to be pretty crazy.”

“Are you kidding?” He exclaims. “You just had a baby, I’m not going anywhere. Close your eyes and go to sleep. I’m sure you’re going to have plenty of visitors in the morning.”

Six a.m. comes before I know it and I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. My face is swollen with huge bags under my eyes. The nurse has been in and out all night, checking my stitches and making me get up to go to the bathroom. I swear, no one can get any rest in the hospital.

At seven o’clock, there is a light knock on the door and a nurse comes in, wheeling a small bassinet type thing, and sleeping peacefully in it
, is my beautiful girl. She’s on her side, a pink pacifier in her mouth and little sucking sounds coming from her body. She’s wrapped snuggly in a pink blanket and has a little pink bonnet on her head, dark curls spilling out from under it.

Jackson is on her in a second and asking all sorts of questions. Is she healthy? Did she have a good night? Did she cry? “Jackson, enough with the questions. She’s fine, can’t you see?” I say
, as he scoops her up and cradles her in his arms. He’s a natural and I love him even more now, than I did when I married him.

He sits down in the rocking chair and stares at her with the same look he gives me, utter adoration. I never imagined him having a girl, I always thought he’d be better with a boy. But the look of love in his eyes lets me know that he is truly in love with his daughter.

We spend family time together for a bit, Jackson holding the baby while I eat and then I plant her baby lips on my breast for her to eat. I decided at the last minute to nurse and we’ll see how that goes. I’ve had to give up my favorite foods for the past few months because most of it gave me such bad heartburn. Now that I am going to nurse, I won’t get that pizza again for a while.

Late morning comes and there is another knock on the door. The door opens and Chase Rowland walks in, carrying a bouquet of pink flowers and a teddy bear for Izzy. As soon as he spots Isabella, he steals her right out of my arms, cuddling and cooing over her. He’s a natural as well, but he has experience. He and Heather had a son about four months ago, so he’s used to a small baby.

The next crew of people show up around lunch time, while I’m taking a nap. Fucking hell, all these people just won’t let me rest. I hear a child’s voice whispering to someone, asking questions. I crack my eyes open and as my vision clears, I see its little Anthony, Dani and Tony. Anthony is two years old now and talking more and more. He’s standing at his mother’s lap while she holds Isabella, gently rubbing the curls on her little head. “Mama, she looks funny. Why is her face all smushed up?” He asks, and I try to stifle my giggle.

“She’s a newborn baby, Ant. All babies look like this when they first come out of their mommy’s tummy. You looked just like this too.”

“I did?”

“Yes baby, and you look nothing like that now. She’ll look different the next time you see her.”

I quietly listen to them talk about Isabella and then take in the room. There are pink balloons, flowers and stuffed animals all over the place. The smell of lilies fill the room and I take a deep breath and inhale. As my eyes reach the window, I see Jackson sitting in the chair, his head cocked sideways. He’s asleep. He looks so peaceful, but uncomfortable.

I sit up in bed and blink away the b
rightness in the room. “Hi Dani,” I whisper, trying not to wake up Jackson, but, his daddy hearing has already kicked in and as soon as he hears my voice, his head snaps up. He has this look on his face like, “I wasn’t asleep....no sir, I was not.”

Dani smiles as she stands and brings Izzy to me, resting her gently in my arms. Izzy starts rooting around, her little lips p
uckering. “I think she’s hungry,” Dani says, as she steps back. “Anthony, let’s go down to the cafeteria and get some lunch. Aunt Ally needs to feed the baby.”

“Okay mama,” h
e says as Tony hikes Anthony up on his shoulders. “We’ll be back in a bit,” she says as she leans in and kisses Izzy on the head. “She’s beautiful, Ally.”

I smile back at her and watch as they leave. “How long have they been here?’ I ask Jackson, but he looks lost.

“Dunno. Isabella was in the bassinet sleeping, so I closed my eyes for just a minute. When I heard you talking, I woke up. I have no idea how long I was asleep either.”

“It’s okay, it was a long night. We’re both pretty tired.” I say
, as my mother walks in the room.

“Marie, good to see you,
” Jackson says to my mother, pressing a kiss on her cheek. “How is the happy grandmother feeling?”

“I’m great, but you look like shi....poop, Jackson. Have you slept at all?” She asks, then looks at me. I just shrug my shoulders and look back at him. “You need to go home for a bit and get some rest, because God knows you wo
n’t get much the next few weeks,” she says, as she smiles down at Izzy, who is latched on to a breast having a feast.

“You know I’m right, Jack.” My mother continues. “Now go. Go home, get some real rest. I’m going to have the nurses come get Isabella and take her to the nursery and let Ally get some real rest too. Come back this afternoon and I’ll bring dinner in. Al should be going home tomorrow
, so tonight is the last night you guys can rest up.”

I nod, because I’m too tired to argue. Jackson stands up and kisses me on the forehead. “I’ll be bac
k in a bit. Rest up, sweet girl,” he says. “I love you Mrs. Bentley.”

The next morning, the doctor comes in and checks me out, letting me know I get to go home today. A sudden rush of panic comes over me and I realize I’m not ready for this. I’m
tired and now I’m taking a baby home. My mother sees the fear across my face, “Relax Ally. I’m going to come stay with you for a few days, to help you get settled. I know it’s been a while, but I’ve done this before. Don’t worry,” my mom tells me, as she pulls Isabella out of my arms to dress her.

I get dressed myself, slowly
, as my cooch is still a bit tender. Good thing I’m not supposed to have sex for six weeks or so, because my vajajay is angry still, and would probably bite Jackson’s head off if he got too close.

Mama dresses Isabella in a pale pink onesie. It’s cool out, so no dresses or bare legs. As she places the pink bonnet on her head, I see a tear creak out of her eyes. “Mama, what’s wrong?”

She sniffles, and wipes the tear way. “She’s just so beautiful Ally. Standing here holding my granddaughter takes my breath away. My granddaughter, my namesake. Thank you Ally, you giving her my name, means the world to me.”

Our little heart to heart is cut short when Heather, Chase and baby Lucas enter the room. “Ally, baby! How ya feeling?” Heather shouts
, as she walks in, handing Lucas to Chase and snatching Isabella from my mother’s arms. “Hey beautiful girl. How’s my Isabella?” She coos at her, pressing her lips against her head, taking a deep breath. “Oh that baby smell. She smells so good.”

I reach out and take Lucas in my arms and snuggle this precious boy that’s just a few months older than Isabella. I sit down on the side of the bed and Heather sits in the chair, each of
us staring at the small bundles in our arms. “Wow.” Heather whispers.

I look up at her and smile. “I know, crazy huh? Who would’ve thought we’d be sitting here like this today?”

I nod my head, looking back down at Lucas. He’s a good looking boy. Strong jaw like his father, but blonde hair like Heather. His whiskey colored eyes stare up at me as he sucks on his baseball pacifier. He’s wearing overalls and a baby ball cap. “He’s so sweet, Heather,” I say, as I kiss his cheek. He smiles around his pacifier and kicks his feet out.