‘But what are—’
‘—the captain and senior officers doing about it?’ Gray finished the sentence for her. ‘I really have no idea. It’s like they’re pretending it doesn’t exist. A few months ago, there was a real crackdown; some people’s cabins got searched, a couple of people got sent back to Earth and busted down a rank. But since then, it’s just the same as it’s ever been. Maybe they’re in on it.’
‘Do you think they could be?’
Gray snorted. ‘Nothing would surprise me,’ she muttered, and paused for a moment. ‘Anyway, don’t ask me how I know, but there’s some new stuff doing the rounds. Not too much of a comedown, very low addiction levels, and it breaks down quickly in the bloodstream. No one would know you’d been taking it as long as you’re discreet. But I hear tell it can cause blackouts.’
‘And you think that’s what he slipped me?’
‘Hey, I don’t know what he gave you – you’re the one who can’t remember anything. Maybe you even took it willingly?’
Clare looked sceptical.
‘Whatever, Miss Perfect. But you’ve had something, that’s for sure. Now, I know you’re not asking me, but if you did, I’d suggest that you put it down to experience, and thank your lucky stars that you weren’t flying with Shaffer this morning. And give Coombes a wide berth – that is, unless you want more of the same.’ She grinned and glanced over at Clare, but the younger woman did not smile back.
Gray sighed. ‘Look, whatever you do, don’t even think about making a complaint. You know the rules. You’ll be in as much trouble as he is. There were only the two of you there. He’s only got to say that you begged him for some stuff, and then it’s just your word against his. Anyway,’ her voice fell lower, ‘I wouldn’t make a complaint, not on this ship anyway.’
‘What do you mean?’
Gray was silent for a moment. ‘Someone’s protecting Coombes. I don’t know who, but he wasn’t sent back to Earth when they had the purge a while back. And he was just as guilty as the others. Now, everyone knows that if you want anything on board, you go to him. It’s a simple as that.’
Clare listened, astonished. ‘I don’t get it.’
‘Neither do I. But I know when to keep my mouth shut, and just accept things. And that’s how we all get on in the Corps, by not asking questions,’ she finished.
There was a long silence as Clare considered this. Part of her just wanted to reject the whole thing, to say that Gray was just putting two and two together and making five. But even if all the rumour was taken out of it, she had a point – if Coombes really was supplying drugs, someone must be protecting him.
The thought made her uneasy. She shifted position in her seat, put pressure on one of her bruises, and winced. She didn’t like not knowing what had gone on last night. Part of her wanted to believe Gray; to believe that she could have been equally as culpable, but something inside her whispered that she hadn’t, and that Coombes had used her.
Done things to her.
And not knowing was making it worse.
She still felt uncomfortable, and she reluctantly had to face up to a ghastly suspicion that had been developing all day, one that she didn’t want to admit, even to herself.
‘What’s up?’ Gray was looking at her face. ‘Something you haven’t told me?’
As if her embarrassment was not complete, Clare said quietly: ‘I’ve got – I’ve got a burning sensation in my anus.’
‘Oh, mother.’ Gray looked at her, but the look was one of sorrow. ‘He’s done you over good and proper. And no memory of that either, I take it?’
Clare shook her head miserably, stuck in black thoughts.
‘Did he use a condom?’ Gray broke in.
‘What?’
‘Can you remember if he used a condom when he fucked you?’
Clare looked back blankly, her eyes wide. ‘I don’t know.’
‘Well, if I was you, I’d go see Donahue when we get back. And if you’re still feeling the need to spill everything, talk to her. She’s bound by patient confidentiality.’
Clare’s heart sank. The last thing she wanted to do was face Donahue’s questioning. But Gray was right. If there was any chance that Coombes hadn’t used a condom, she needed to see her, and quickly.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
‘And you say you have no memory beyond that?’ Donahue stared intently at the younger woman. It was late afternoon the same day, and Clare had finally summoned up the courage to face the medical officer.
Clare shook her head slowly.
‘Right.’ Donahue’s manner became brisk, clinical. ‘I’ll need to examine you and take some swabs. Did he penetrate you anally as well?’
‘I – I think so. I don’t remember. I’m – sore there, so he may have.’
‘And you’ve had a shower? You’ve cleaned yourself?’
Clare nodded. ‘I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted everything – out of me.’
‘Yes. Unfortunately that isn’t going to help.’ Donahue sighed. ‘Our testing facilities here are very limited. We’ve got a rape test kit, but it needs a good sample for a positive result. Anything less than that, and the sample has to be frozen and sent back to Earth. There might be something there, but I won’t be able to analyse it here.’
Clare closed her eyes and hung her head.
‘Look,’ Donahue put her hand on Clare’s shoulder. ‘what’s worrying me much more is the fact you can’t recall what happened. Let’s say we find his semen on you. What does it prove? That you had sex. We need to prove that it was against your consent. And if you have no memory, if you can’t relate exactly what you said, what he said, what he did, then you’ve got no defence. And if he took pictures, or heaven help you, if he took a movie, you’re in trouble.’
‘A movie?’ Clare looked up, her face aghast.
‘You don’t know
what
he did.’ Donahue’s face was hard, professional. You have no memory for a –’ she consulted her notes ‘– a seven-hour period. He could have done anything to you, and you don’t know if you were resisting or not.’
‘What about all
these?
’ Clare pulled up her sleeve, showed Donahue the bruises again.
‘Well, that does help your story, but only if you can describe exactly what happened, and you can’t.’ Donahue looked thoughtful for a moment, and tapped her fingers on the table. ‘Seven hours; that’s a very long gap. And you had two beers? Okay. That’s unlikely to have caused any significant memory loss, so we have to consider drugs. Did he administer anything to you?’
‘What?’
‘Did he give you anything? A drink. A tablet. Anything.’
‘He brought me the beers in the galley. If he gave me anything after that, I can’t remember.’
‘Okay, I’d like to take a blood sample as well, if you’re okay with that. I’m not holding out a lot of hope – it’s been a long time since last night. But if he’s given you something, it might show up.’
Donahue returned from the adjoining room as Clare was putting her clothes back on again. She had a printout in her hand.
‘I’ll give you the bad news first,’ she said as she sat down. ‘No trace of any of the regular drugs that we test for. That doesn’t mean that he didn’t give you anything; there are any number of things he could have given you that break down very quickly and won’t show.
‘No signs of any vaginal trauma and no semen result there, but as you said, you’ve had a shower. You have some signs of a forcible penetration of your anus, which should heal quickly, and as you know I’ve taken a photograph. The rectal swabs tested positive for semen, so I’m afraid it looks like he didn’t use a condom.’ She looked up. ‘I’ll give you a morning-after pill just to be completely on the safe side.’
Clare closed her eyes and breathed out furiously from between clenched teeth.
‘The good news – you have no alcohol at all in your bloodstream, so working back, it’s unlikely you were drunk, and it supports your story of two beers. You have a number of minor bruises to your arms, legs and body that could be consistent with a struggle, two faint rope marks on your wrists that suggest you were restrained at some point, and several bite marks on your body.’
She dropped the printout onto the table. ‘It’s not much. I have to be honest with you. If you took this to a complaint, there is some medical evidence that you did not consent, but unless you can relate exactly what happened, you wouldn’t survive a competent cross-examination by his defence.’
‘So that’s it. He can just do what he wants to women on this ship, and he gets away with it.’ Clare felt sick. The examination had been humiliating, and Donahue’s probing fingers had made her sore again.
‘I wouldn’t say that. Obviously you’ll avoid him. I have to caution you against spreading anything that could be considered defamatory against another officer without hard evidence, otherwise you could be the subject of a complaint yourself.’
‘
What?
’
‘Listen to me carefully.’ Donahue’s voice was firm, but her eyes were sympathetic. ‘You cannot go around saying things about fellow officers in the confined environment on board this ship. It will get back to Coombes and he could easily bring a serious complaint. If that happens, you will
both
be suspended, you will be shipped back home on separate flights, and you will go through the legal process on Earth. If you can’t prove a case against him, you’ll be lucky to avoid being discharged.’
Clare’s eyes blazed, but she kept her mouth firmly closed.
Donahue watched her reaction carefully before continuing: ‘Look, I know this is hard, but you seem to be pretty smart. You’re going to be angry about this for a
very
long time. But think about your career. He’s a weather officer. You’re a pilot. You might both be first lieutenants now, but you’ve got more opportunities to make captain in the next few years than he has. Then he’s the one who’ll be worried for his career. You’ll get your chance to get back at him, sometime in the future.’
‘I can’t just stand by –’ Clare began, and this time she found herself fighting back the tears, ‘– and let this
rapist
get away with it.’
‘I am very sorry,’ Donahue said, and her voice seemed to say that she meant it, ‘but I’ve got to tell you how it is.’ She stood up and went over to the drugs cabinet, unlocked it and busied herself tearing off strips of pills for a few moments, letting Clare compose herself. ‘Here, take these,’ she said, coming back. ‘These two are the morning-after pills – take one immediately, then the other one in twelve hours’ time. These are some mild sedatives if you have trouble sleeping – take one half an hour before you go to bed. Don’t take them within ten hours of flying.’
Clare nodded and stood up. She was looking thoughtful.
‘Why did you warn me about Coombes the other day?’
Donahue looked her in the eye. ‘I deny having said anything like that to you about Lieutenant Coombes,’ she said carefully and precisely, ‘and I would stick to that if I was questioned.’
‘Wait a minute. What you said to me—’
‘What you
allege
I said to you.’
‘Okay, whatever. You wouldn’t have said it if there hadn’t been some reason. Has he done something like this before?’
‘You know very well I can’t answer that sort of question. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have other patients waiting.’
Clare stood there, glowering at her, but she had the sense to keep her mouth shut. Donahue had done her best to warn her, and she hadn’t listened. It wasn’t her fault. Clare turned to go.
Behind her, Donahue said: ‘I’ve got a job to do here, Foster, but I’m also in the Corps, and we try to look after our own. And that’s all I can say.’
‘Yes ma’am. Thank you.’
After Clare had closed the door behind her, Donahue sat there for a few moments, typing up her notes. She seemed to hesitate over some sections, as if searching for the right words. Finally, she was done, and she sighed and drew a deep breath, before buzzing for the next patient to come through.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Clare leaned her head against the bulkhead wall in her cabin. How could she have been so
stupid?
She could hear her parents’ voices now. Wasting yourself on a career in the Astronautics Corps. And now this; throwing yourself at the first man to smile at you after you’d landed. You deserve what happened to you.
No, no,
no!
She banged her head against the wall in anger and frustration. She did
not
deserve it! She might feel humiliated, and, and –
used
, yes, that was the word, but she never deserved what Coombes had meted out to her.
What a difference two days could make! Then, she had been lying in here, thinking how great it was to belong. Now, she just felt that the Corps had let her down. She unpinned her silver insignia from her collar and threw them onto the bed.
Remembering Donahue’s words, she popped out one of the morning-after pills, filled a cup with water from the faucet and swallowed the pill down, then went and stood by the window. She drank a few more mouthfuls from the cup. The water made her feel a bit better; she must have been thirsty.
Damn
Coombes! How dare he do this to her? Her anger just wouldn’t abate. She wanted to go and rip his head off. Or better still, stand up next to him in the galley and shout out what he had done to her.
Listen everyone, this jerk drugged me and then he tied me up, and fucked me in the ass!
They’d probably just look up and then carry on eating, she thought with a sinking feeling. Especially if it was steak night. How quaint was that.
No, if she wanted her own back on Coombes, it would have to be in terms he would understand. It would have to be her getting control over
him
.
An hour later, there was a knock on the door.
‘Yeah, who is it?’
‘It’s me. Lorna.’
Clare opened the door. ‘Come on in.’
‘Thanks.’ Gray stepped inside and closed the door behind her. ‘I came by to see how you were doing.’
Clare shrugged. ‘So-so.’
‘I figured you would be. Did you go see Donahue?’
‘Yep.’
Gray raised her eyebrows expectantly.
‘And I told her what I told you.’
‘And …? Look, if you don’t want to talk to me that’s fine. I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing this out of you.’