Acquired Tastes (42 page)

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Authors: Simone Mondesir

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Humor & Satire, #Humorous, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Romantic Comedy, #General Humor

BOOK: Acquired Tastes
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“Mrs Mildred Proudfoot, the battling blonde granny who heads a viewers' clean-up campaign, says she will be considering taking legal action on the grounds of obscenity and mental cruelty. But the newly-appointed producer of the show, Vijay Seth, says he intends to carry on with the series, although he may take a new approach to the subject.

“The show's presenter, glamorous transsexual Gabriella Wolfe, whose other life was revealed exclusively to
World on Sunday
readers last week, declined to say if she would remain as the show's star. However, in yet another twist to the story, Gabriella was photographed leaving one of London's most exclusive restaurants with randy doctor Fergus, after an intimate
tête-à-tête
this week.

“There was no comment either from long-legged, lovely Vanessa, the producer with a penchant for dog collars of the canine variety. Our chief showbiz reporter, Eddie Spittle, tracked her down to a luxury hotel in an exclusive resort in the Caribbean, where her personal publicist said she is considering substantial offers from several glamour magazines to do a centrefold spread, complete with dog collar.

“But until sexy Vanessa reveals all once again, we bring
World on Sunday
readers exclusive pictures from the hottest video on town. Turn to pages 2, 3 and 4.”

The pictures were blurred and had been extensively retouched, but they were unmistakably from Vanessa and Fergus's video.

Jeremy looked at Alicia. Her eyes were closed.

'Are you all right?' he asked anxiously. 'You shouldn't let this silly business upset you again.'

Alicia opened her eyes. 'It doesn't. I just caught the smell of someone frying bacon. I'm starving.'

Jeremy inhaled deeply. The smell of tender sweet, sizzling bacon wafted in through the window. His mouth watered.

Alicia swept the newspapers off the bed and rolled over. She kissed him full on the lips.

'How about some eggs…' she murmured, nuzzling his neck. Then she began to rain souffle-light butterfly kisses over his chest, '…and some bacon…' She worked her way lower, down over his now satisfyingly round stomach, '…and maybe some mushrooms…'

Jeremy closed his eyes in pleasure.

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