Across Carina (34 page)

“He’s eighteen—same as me,” I said.

But I was looking away, because I wasn’t sure how old to call someone who had been gone for as many Earth years as Sal.

“I’ll come with you,” my dad said. “Is he in the yard?”

His jaw was clenched, but I couldn’t tell if he was angry or just trying to hold back tears.

“He’s down the street,” I said as evenly as I could. “I promise I’ll be right back. I love you guys.”

It was the first time that I’d said I loved them since Garrett’s death.

My dad’s face softened, and after a long pause he let me go. After everything, I
was
almost afraid to leave my house, but I knew that nothing and no one could take me against my will.

I descended Cherry Street. I found Sal two blocks away from where I’d left him. He was in the shade of a weeping willow with his eyes closed. I knelt in front of him, just as Eden had once knelt before me to soothe my fear of the future. I put my hand on his chest, and he awakened.

“Did you find them?” he asked.

“Yes, and you’re going to meet them,” I said. “I’m going to tell them the truth, and I want you beside me.”

“You’re really going to?”

“I am. I can’t lie to them about all that we’ve been through. It would be like lying about who I am. I don’t know what I’ll do if they don’t believe me. I don’t know what will happen. But I have to try.”

“Try what?”

“Everything that I never did before.”

Sal started to pluck out the grass that was under us, one blade at a time. I watched him form a pile in his hand. His fingers were unsteady.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “We’ll make this work.”

He frowned. “I just don’t want your parents to feel obligated to me. I know that I need some type of plan for resuming my life here. It’s been on my mind, and I—”

“They lost a son, you know.”

“Jade, I can’t replace your brother.”

“I’m not asking you to,” I said. “I’m just saying that my family might accept the idea of you staying with us more readily than you think. Especially since you make me happy.”

He looked up. “I make you happy?”

I smiled. “Very much.”

I pulled him to his feet, and we returned to my house. My parents relaxed somewhat when they met him. He was polite and well-spoken, and he had an earnestness about him that could not be ignored. My parents offered him lemonade and even let him sit. But it wasn’t drinks and laughter. Sal and I had to tell our story.

It wasn’t the easiest conversation. Shadow people, chariots, and Carina were a great deal for my parents to swallow. They said that they needed time to understand everything, and I promised to wait. I had Sal, and he knew the truth.

My parents did accept Sal. They let him stay with us until we were able to track down his older sister. She was still living in New Jersey after all. When my parents learned that she was sixty-eight, they started to show more interest in our story.

In the meantime, we had to answer to the media. My parents had roused up the entire state over my absence, and now people wanted to know where I had been. I could have invented a story about being kidnapped, complete with grisly details, but I wanted to take responsibility and be as honest as I could. So I told the newspaper that I’d run away to the next city over.

My story spread, but it was for the worse. People didn’t want honesty—they wanted scandal. They plucked the words off my lips, like they were ripe for the taking, and twisted them however they pleased.

Some said that I had been bored with my easy, middle-class life and that I’d gone looking for trouble. A few went so far as to claim that they’d seen me working the streets. One blogger called me a sociopath for running away after my parents had already lost a child.

Despite all the rumors, Justin, Lily, and Kiera stayed by my side, and I felt my family’s love for me more than ever. With their support, I managed to finish my senior year. Unfortunately, I had missed all the deadlines to apply for college. It seemed that my clock had rewound one year.

I decided to make the most of it. I spent my summer waiting tables and saving up money so that I could move to New Jersey to be with Sal. We had talked about living together, sharing an apartment somewhere between his sister, whose health was declining, and at least one good college. After all that we had experienced together—spending our days traveling and working and fighting for our lives and our nights sleeping mere inches apart—after sharing the space under my parents’ roof—it seemed only natural that we should experience the next chapter of our lives together. To have returned to Earth and gone our separate ways would have been unnatural. Impossible. We had to know if there was something there. We had to know what we could be.

My move was not easy for my parents. I was at the age when it made sense for me to leave home, but they had already lost me once before. And I could see in their eyes that they still missed Garrett.

Of course they did. He was their son.

Before Carina, I had thought that my parents didn’t miss Garrett. I had mistaken their smiles and day-to-day efforts—their attempts to
live
—as disregard for his place in our family. But I could see now, further into their souls. I saw them not just as my parents, but as human beings with feelings as deep and conflicted as mine.

That summer, they tried to stay busy with Tyson. Oh, sweet Tyson. He had turned five just after I’d graduated and was gearing up for kindergarten in the fall. I kept thinking of all the friends that he would make, all the lives that he would one day touch. He loved unconditionally. It was the kind of love that could change a person. It was the kind of love that I wanted to give.

When I arrived in New Jersey, Sal was waiting for me. He was standing in the driveway of his sister’s house, wearing a white shirt just like the day that I had met him. I parked my car, and he took me into his bronze arms; and we were quiet. The Earth was spinning at just the right speed.

Time passed, and we found jobs. We found an apartment to rent. Every couple of weeks, we added a new piece of furniture. Sometimes it was used, but that was okay. We started eyeing colleges, thinking of what we wanted to study and who we wanted to be. We were getting settled in.

There was still a lot that was unknown. We were young, and like so many things in life, my move to New Jersey had been a gamble. But I felt like it had been a good gamble. I had finally decided to love myself, and so I knew that I was capable of loving someone else. Sal and I didn’t know what our future held, but I hoped that it was bright.

I had learned about hope and that it was backed by hard work. So I ran with what I knew. We didn’t just get to return and pick out rosy lives. We had to work for our roses.

And we did.

It was writing
Across Carina
that showed me how vast my support system is. To my friends, family, colleagues, and coworkers, thank you. Thank you for your confidence in me. For your belief in my characters, that they had a story to tell. For your prayers and feedback and genuine interest. You propelled me through these last three years.

And to those of you who went above and beyond, whose contributions to this book were invaluable, know that you are and forever will be a part of these pages. Thank you Dallin Hall, Theresa Lynne Wilkes Harmon, Nivette Harmon Connors, Lee Harmon Waters, Caroline Smailes of BubbleCow, Aaron D. Graham, Courtney DeMarco, and Mark A. Yancey. Thank you for asking how you could help. Thank you for your edits and insights and for being among my first readers.

Dallin, my wonderful husband, I could write another book on all that you’ve done for me. Your support, your love—your utter patience—were more than most would have given. Thank you for listening to me talk to myself, night after night, as I acted out each scene. Thank you for letting me test out so many of my sentences on you. Thank you for cheering me up, when I needed cheering, and for helping me push to the end. It’s been an incredible journey through Carina.

Kelsey Hall lives in Atlanta, Georgia with her husband, Dallin. She studied sociology and creative writing at Brigham Young University and has since worked in bookkeeping and in both student and multifamily housing. Much of the inspiration for her stories comes from people watching and her dreams. She is a lover of color, chocolate, films, and the sun.

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