Act Like You Know (9 page)
Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore
A lump came to my throat. I hadn't thought about Cody in days, but as soon as there was a mention of him, my heart skipped a beat. “No, no, no. I like the program you guys have set up and placed for me.” I stood. “And I promise I won't let you down. I'm going to get a three-point-oh this semester and next semester. I want to be at Western Smith College. I'm not going to take my eye off the goal.”
9
PIERCED
I
went in for my next tutoring session and found a note from Cody. I was shocked when I read it.
went in for my next tutoring session and found a note from Cody. I was shocked when I read it.
Alyx, I thought long and hard about it, and I'm just not going to be able to tutor you anymore. I really think you're great and all, and clearly I have upset you by not being absolutely forthright about why I wanted you to come to the theater. I know you're fine academically. You've proven that as hard you've worked these last few months, you can soar academically. I'll see you around.
C
“What the heck is this?” I said, pacing back and forth, rereading his note for the tenth time as if reading it again would change its message.
When it sank in that he was ditching me, I dropped into the chair. Yeah, I had worked hard, and I wasn't saying Cody was my only motivation factor, but he was such a great coach. He knew how to make me not only understand the material but
want
to get it. I knew I couldn't get a 3.0 or better without him on my team.
want
to get it. I knew I couldn't get a 3.0 or better without him on my team.
When I thought back to a week ago when we'd had our rough conversation and I'd basically just left, telling him to get out of my face, I knew I had to make things right. I had to let him know I wasn't angry with him. He had to go forward with the tutoring.
I didn't have his home address, but I did have his number. When I called, I got his machine. It didn't take me long to think where he could be. I went back over to the theater, this time up to the balcony, and waited until his rehearsal was over. Clearly he was frustrated by the cast, but I was frustrated that he'd walked out on me. I didn't know if this was a good time or not, but we had to work this out. He had to know I needed his help. So, after practice, I caught up to him.
“Uh, can we talk for a second?”
I could tell when his eyes widened that he was shocked to see me. He looked away, but that didn't deter me.
“Seriously, I need to talk to you.”
“I think I said everything in that letter, Alyx. If this is about me tutoring you, there's no need for us to chat. I just think it's best you leave it alone.”
Everybody was looking at meâfolks I didn't know, they looked all concerned, like, “What's she going to say next? Is he going to help her? Oh, the drama continues.” But this wasn't a play, this was my life. Cody needed to help me. I wasn't here to entertain his cast and crew.
So I walked closer to him and whispered, “Alone, please. Now.”
Then I strutted away, shaking my hips to the left and right. I used what I had to make the dude drop everything and follow me immediately. I knew I was successful when I heard the rumblings of others followed by footsteps behind me. Yeah, he was coming. I could do this. I could talk to him. He had to see I needed his help.
“It's private right here. Let's talk!” he called out.
Turning around, I said, “Okay, so you're just sending me a cold note dropping me. That was pretty cruel.”
“What are you talking about? It's not like we're cool. You made that pretty clear last week. And the note wasn't rude.”
“I know, but I was caught off guard with this whole being-in-a-play thing. I mean, you signed up to be my tutor. I meet with the president of the school and the dean, and thanks to youâ”
“No, no, no, thanks to all the hard work
you
did. I just told them the truth. You deserve to keep your scholarship so they get behind you. You know I've helped you fly. Now it's your turn to soar.”
you
did. I just told them the truth. You deserve to keep your scholarship so they get behind you. You know I've helped you fly. Now it's your turn to soar.”
“Well, I just don't think I can rise without your help,” I said as I moved even closer to him.
“Well, you're going to have to because I can't. I just think we're too close, and you don't need all that. It's not going to work.” He turned and walked back toward the stage.
Watching him move farther and farther away, my heart sank. Something in me wanted to be connected to this guy. Maybe I had messed up that chance for good.
“Wait a minute, wait a minute. Please come back. What is it I can do or say to make you help me? Cody, please.”
All of a sudden, the fine specimen in front of me stopped walking. I didn't know what to do or how to respond. I didn't want to push him too much, and I'd already begged sincerely. When he didn't turn back my way, I realized there was no hope and that somehow I had to find a way to make it without him. Whatever I thought I was feeling for him, I needed to let it go.
Just as I gave up hope and turned to exit the building, he called out, “Alyx, come here. I got something you can do to help me, and then I'll help you.”
“You want me to be in this play that badly?” I said as I walked back to him, knowing that was what he wanted.
“Yeah. You have an amazing talent.”
“You saw me sing that last song.”
“You didn't know it. Let me train you. This is what I'm studying. I'm not saying I'm going to be a big Broadway director one day, but that is my dream. I know this game. I know what can move a crowd, and not only are you beautiful, but you've got an amazing presence that will capture an audience and really bring home the message of this play. Alyx, I think you just haven't tapped into your passion. You wonder why you're average in your studies and why you don't have that excitement to keep pushing sometimes unless you got a cheerleader by your side rooting you on like I have been these last couple of months. But for you to be self-motivatedâfor you to be passionate, you've got to want it. You've got to dream about being something. You've got to have a desire to learn any and everything about it so you can succeed.”
“And you're telling me you think acting is it?”
“I can't say for certain,” he said, taking my hands into his sweaty palms, revealing his nervousness. “But I got a good hunch on this. I mean, you ain't feeling nothing for anything else you're doing. You don't want to be a teacher; you don't think business is it. Why not give acting a try? Why not see if this is your thing?”
When he said that, it hit something inside me, something deep, something real. Something that made me think,
I don't want to miss out on what my calling is in this world. I don't just want a paycheck.
I did not have any type of love or desire for anything special in my life careerwise. He was rightâwhat did I have to lose?
I don't want to miss out on what my calling is in this world. I don't just want a paycheck.
I did not have any type of love or desire for anything special in my life careerwise. He was rightâwhat did I have to lose?
“Okay, I'm in.”
When he threw his big, strong, warm arms around me, it felt too good. Memories of his kiss flooded my thoughts.
Breaking my trance, he said, “I got a couple more hours of practice, and I want to give you the script and introduce you to the cast. Then we'll go study for your exams. Cool?”
“Yeah, cool,” I said as we pulled away from each other. Something in the way he looked at me gave me a tingling feeling all over. I exhaled, thinking maybe my life was finally turning around.
The next day I was studying my lines at home when I got a knock on the door. Malloy always played hostess, but she wasn't home. So I went to the door, and there stood Sharon on the other side of the glass. Her lips were pouting, and her hand was on her hip like I owed her something. I did not have time to get into a whole bunch of drama with her. I turned around to walk back into my room. She kept ringing the doorbell annoyingly.
So, despite my better judgment, I turned back around, opened up the door, and said, “Yeah, what?”
“Oh, that's how you greet somebody?”
“Girl, look at how you're standing. Like you're mad before I even say hello. Let's not front and pretend there's no tension between us. You're mad I've got your role in the big campus play. You're ticked about it.”
“I just can't believe you accepted it. This is your first time. I'm a theater major. This is a big deal to me. Alyx, you could care less about this whole thing. You're only interested because you think Cody is cute. You know he's one of our soror's men in the first place? Shows you don't care anything about loyalty. Screw Penelope, screw me.”
“Wait a minute, you don't have to talk to me all crazy,” I said to her. “I'm giving you the courtesy of listening to whatever it is you came over here to say, but you need to do it with some respect.”
“Like you respected me with my part you just snatched away?”
“I didn't snatch anything away. I'm not the director. I've got no pull. As you said, this whole world is new to me, but the man has a vision of what he's trying to do, and it's none of your business what I think about him. Just because I'm new here, it doesn't mean I don't know anything about you. Remember who I live with. Weren't you trying to take somebody else's man yourself?”
“If you're referring to Kade, you don't have it right. He was my boyfriend first.”
“Whatever. From what I heard, Kade was not interested in you for the longest time, and you kept holding on to nothing. But you know what, I don't even know why I'm going there with you.”
“Yeah, I don't even know why I thought I could come over here and talk sense into you.”
“What, you just thought I was going to give up the part?”
“Why can't you try to be my sister and help me get it, help me learn it, help me act it, help me understand what this whole thing is supposed to be about?”
“Sharon, if it's about the sisterhood, and if it's not just about you or me, why can't we go with what the director decides?”
“Because all he's thinking with is his pants. He's not really looking for the one with the skills,” she said, insinuating that I had given it up to get the part. “I've studied theater for eight years. That's all I've ever dreamed of doing and being. And here you come, some amateur. This isn't supposed to be this way.”
“But he gave you the next biggest role. Can't you maximize that?”
“Why don't you take that role, if it doesn't seem so bad, missy, huh?”
“Okay, Sharon. Please leave. Let's agree to disagree.”
The telephone rang, and I was so excited to grab it. The last thing I wanted was to continue arguing with her. Hopefully she would see herself out, but she just stood there.
It was Pedro, my homebody from El Paso. “What's going on?”
“Everybody here is shaken up, so they asked me to call you.” In a dismal voice, he said, “It's not good, Alyx. It's not good at all.”
“Why? What do you mean?” I asked, but then remembered I had no other real family in the U.S.
Malloy came in through the front door, and I could hear Sharon pleading her case. “You told her I tried to take Kade?”
“That is not even what I said,” I said to Malloy as she came my way.
I was just so frustrated, but then Pedro spoke again. “This is serious, would you listen, please?”
“I'm sorry. I'm just dealing with drama with my sorority sister.”
“It's your mom.”
“My mom?” I gasped. Sharon and Malloy stopped fussing.
“She passed away this morning.”
“Huh?” I said as I slumped down in the nearby chair.
“I'm sorry, Alyx.”
“My mom is gone!” I cried out.
All of a sudden, being in a play didn't matter at all. I just dropped the phone. Malloy took it and started talking to Pedro. Sharon, as distant as we were, put her arms around me, and even with the sincere comfort she was giving me, knowing that my mom had left this world meant my heart was forever broken and pierced.
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