Authors: Sara Craven
filled room, Jason's face. Watching her. She thought, 'I'm
imagining things. He can't be there. I'm in such a state I'm
hallucinating. Inventing him.' Then the crowd shifted and she saw
the girl with him. Saw the smooth dark hair, the face eager and
warm with laughter lifted to his. It was the first time she'd
ever seen them together in the flesh, and the pain of it stunned
her. She found herself thinking mechanically, 'So that's why
Celia didn't get her call—because he'd decided to pay some
attention to his first love.' Incredulously she watched as they
both rose from their seats. Her hands gripped the edge of the
table so tightly that her knuckles turned white. He was bringing
her over. 'Good evening.' The dark face was enigmatic, the eyes
cool and watchful as he greeted them. Alan was rising, looking
surprised. Laura felt frozen to the spot. Under her lashes, she
stole a look at Clare Marshall, wondering how she was feeling,
how she was responding to Jason's latest cruelty. She had to be
suffering too, as shocked and embarrassed at this enforced
confrontation as Laura was herself. I f so, she was concealing it
well. She seemed at ease, smiling, her face friendly and
interested. Jason said silkily, T don't think you two have met.
Laura, this is Clare Marshall. Clare, this is Laura Caswell.' He
paused. 'My ex-wife,' he added softly. Laura heard Alan's intake
of breath, felt his eyes on her, trying to make sense of what he
had just heard. There was no guilt or embarrassment in Clare
Marshall's face, only a certain wryness in her smile. She said,
'I'd rather guessed that already. How do you do, Laura?' She held
out her hand, and Laura took it like an automaton, stammering the
conventional greeting in reply. There was a deafening silence,
then Laura said jerkily, 'Do you like—this kind of music—Miss
Marshall?' 'It's a long time since I saw a live performance. Not
since my student days, in fact, but I enjoy it yes.' Clare
Marshall said. 'And Jason insisted I had to hear the Wessex
Revellers.' She shrugged. ' I have domestic commitments, so I
don't get out much in the evenings.' Laura said woodenly, 'That's
a shame. Well I hope you enjoy the rest of the concert.' It was
more than she was going to do, if the expression on Alan's face
was anything to go by. She'd watched it change from sheer
incredulity to jealous indignation, and although he was probably
not aware of all the undercurrents seething below the surface of
the exchange, he was clearly going to ask questions. 'Which is
just about to begin,' Jason said smoothly. 'We'd better get back
to our seats.' His smile flicked at Laura. 'I'll be seeing you.'
Alan said furiously, 'What the hell did he mean exwife? What...?'
'Later, please.' Laura tugged imploring at his sweater sleeve,
aware of curious glances from neighbouring tables. The lights
were going down, the applause to greet the Wessex Revellers was
swelling enthusiastically. For a moment, she thought he was going
to walk out, then he subsided back into his chair, his face
sullen. It hadn't been the night of her life, up to that moment,
but now it was totally in ruins, and Jason had done it quite
deliberately. But for what motive? That was the question which
battered at her mind. To punish her for the things she had said
to him earlier? Perhaps but why involve his mistress, force her
into an awkward confrontation that she couldn't have wanted, no
matter how skilfully she'd covered up? Clare Marshall wasn't some
cowed, submissive little creature, so why did she allow herself
to be used like that? Because she loves him, Laura told herself
painfully. Because however strange their relationship, however
unsatisfactory it might seem to an outsider, it must provide
everything Clare Marshall needs, or she would not still be with
him, and with him in an apparently menial position. Fleetingly,
Laura wondered what had happened to the expensive flat. The music
washed over her, unheard. Mechanically, she joined in the
applause at the end of each song, and was eventually aroused by
the jovial whistling and stamping going on around her to the
realisation that the performance was over. 'Let's go,' Alan said
shortly, and got up. Laura hung back. 'There are going to be
encores.' 'I've had enough,' he muttered. 'We have to talk.' He
took her hand, pulling her to her feet. 'Come on.'
He walked across the car park so fast that she almost had to run
to keep up with him, and she could feel her own temper rising.
She said abruptly, 'It might be better if I got a taxi.' He
glared at her. T think you owe me an explanation.' 'Perhaps,' she
said shortly. 'But this may not be the ideal time.' He was
holding the car door open for her. Other people were beginning to
emerge into the car park, and she didn't want a scene, so, biting
her lip, she got into the car. She had expected he would take her
home, but after they had been driving for a few moments, she
realised he was on his way to the cottage. She said, 'Alan, we
can't talk tonight. I'm tired and...' 'And I'm supposed to fall
into line and be a gentleman, and pretend it doesn't matter.' He
spoke jeeringly, his face flushed, 'Well, it does damned well
matter—Miss Caswell,' he added with extra emphasis. 'You've
made a bloody fool of me.' T fail to see how.' Laura shook her
head. With an impatient exclamation, he pulled the wheel over and
brought the car to a stop on the roadside verge. 'It never
occurred to you that the fact you've been married before might be
of interest to me?' he demanded. She sighed. T suppose I would
have told you if our relationship had warranted it. But as things
are . . . ' 'As things are,' he repeated savagely. 'Didn't it
also occur to you that the reason I've allowed you to keep me at
a distance, agreed to play it cool is because I thought you were
an inexperienced girl—not a divorcee?' He made it sound as if
she was Lucrezia Borgia, and she knew a traitorous desire to
giggle, but she restrained it because he was a man with a
grievance, and consequently short on humour. She said, T m sorry.
I didn't intend to deceive you about my marital status. It's
simply a subject I've always preferred not to discuss with
anyone.' 'How long were you married?' He stared through the
windscreen. 'About a year. We divorced by consent at the earliest
legal opportunity,' she said levelly. 'Is there anything else you
need to know?' 'Yes.' He turned and gave her an insolent look.
'I'd like to know why the marriage—broke down as they put it
these days. Did you freeze him off, like you've tried to freeze
me? I thought you were just shy, but perhaps it goes deeper than
that. Perhaps you're frigid. Let's see shall we?' He lunged
across the confined space of the car, dragging her into his arms,
clamping his mouth to hers without finesse. Any fleeting sympathy
she might have had for his confusion vanished instantly, and she
tried to pull away, disgust rising in her as his hand hooked into
the neckline of her dress. She heard a ripping sound, felt the
buttons tear loose. He lifted his head and stared at her, his
eyes fixed greedily on her breasts, barely concealed by the
delicate lace cups of her bra. He said hoarsely, T held back
because I thought you were a virgin. But you're not, Laura.
You've been married to a man like Wingard, so you know what it's
all about.' His tone slurred. 'You must want it sometimes like
I've been wanting you...' He was reaching for her again. With a
kind of desperation, she hit him in the face as hard as she could
with her clenched fist. He gave an agonised yelp, and slumped
back into the driving seat, covering his face with his hands.
With horrified fascination, Laura saw blood begin to seep through
his fingers and realised she must have caught him on the nose.
Again she felt that hysterical laughter welling up inside her.
She opened her bag hastily. 'Here I've got some tissues.' He
mumbled, 'Bitch,' but he took the tissues, pressing them to his
nose. She waited for a few moments, then said, 'Do you want me to
drive?' He glared at her over the tissues. 'No just get out of my
sight.' For a moment, she was taken aback. The last thing she was
expecting was to be stranded miles from home with a torn dress,
but this was clearly what he intended, his sense of grievance
outweighing all other considerations. She said, 'I'm sorry it had
to turn out like this.' Her voice sounded lame. Nothing that had
happened to her seemed to have any basis in reality, although she
supposed her dress gaping open to the waist was real enough. She
hugged her shawl round her and watched him drive away, fumbling
with gears and tissues, then began to walk slowly back the way
she had come. She'd covered about half a mile when she heard the
sound of a car engine behind her, and she stepped on to the
verge, looking back over her' shoulder, hoping against hope that
Alan might have come to his senses and be looking for her. But it
wasn't the small comfortable shape of the Mini which came round
the corner, transfixing her in its headlights like a frightened
moth. It was an altogether more opulent vehicle and it was
stopping, she realised with sudden panic, realising all the
dangers of her situation. She turned precipitately to hurry away,
but one of
her heels sank into the earth of the verge, softened by the
previous night's rain and she stumbled almost on to her knees.
She struggled up, hearing the approaching footsteps. Even before
his hands pulled her to her feet, she knew who it was. Even
before she heard his voice, drawling, mocking 'Running away
again, Laura? Don't you know by this time that there's nowhere
nowhere you can run to?'
A LL the strength, the resistance seemed to have drained out of
her. She let him put her into the front passenger seat of the
Jaguar. He said, as if anticipating the question he knew she
wouldn't ask aloud, 'Clare's gone back to the hotel. One of the
chambermaids is baby-sitting but naturally, she's anxious.'
'Naturally.' Her voice sounded brittle. 'So you decided you'd go
for a moonlight drive in the lanes.' 'No,' he said. ' I saw your
hasty departure, and it occurred to me that he might turn nasty,
so I thought I'd drive over to his cottage and see if you were
there.' 'Thoughtful of you,' she said bitterly. 'What a pity the
possibility of his adverse reaction didn't occur to you earlier,
before you dropped your bombshell.' 'You intended to keep our
marriage as your little secret did you?' he gibed. 'Were you
going to wait till the honeymoon to break the news that he'd
bought secondhand goods?' 'You're vile.' 'And he, of course, has
behaved like a knight in shining armour. That's why he let you
take the long walk home. Or did you think that he'd be content to
go on adoring you from afar?' ^. ' I didn't think of it at all,'
she confessed bleakly. 'We'd never had that kind of
relationship.' 'By your wish, not his, I'm sure.' His mouth
twisted. 'Couldn't you see the way the poor devil was looking at
you?' She shook her head, unable to find words. 'You can hardly
blame him,' he continued harshly.
'It's that special quality you possess, Laura. I've mentioned it
before that air of solitariness and self-containment. Small
wonder if he thought of you as the sleeping princess, and dreamed
of the kiss that would waken you. It must have been gall and
wormwood to know that another man had got you into bed first.'
She winced. 'Don't.' She put her hands over her ears, and the
shawl fell open. She saw his swift downward glance and remembered
too late. He said too softly, T think I'll knock his teeth down
his throat.' 'Oh, no please.' She put a hand on his arm, alarmed.
'There's no need. Nothing happened really.' 'You tore your own
dress ' he said derisively. 'No.' That weird laughter she'd been
trying to suppress all evening came bubbling to the surface. 'But